过程中赚进七千七百多万美元
making over $77,000,000 in the process.
诈欺指控 声浪不断
Cries of foul play were loud and widespread
当局有意展开后续调查
with talks of an inquiry to follow.
早安 史金纳先生 早安 柏特
Morning, Mr. Skinner. Morning, Bert.
恭喜你 谢谢
And congratulations. Thank you.
史金纳先生 你有内线应该报给我的
You might have tipped me off, Mr. Skinner.
我报个内线给你 千万别拍抓狂的狗
I’ll give you a tip, Bert. Never pat a burning dog.
卑鄙小人
Wanker.
亨利 他妈的
Oh, Henry. Bloody hell.
要看粉丝来信了吗
Ready for the fan mail?
念出来吧
Shoot, sunshine.
混♥蛋♥
“Bastard.” Mm-hm.
混♥蛋♥
“Bastard.” Uh-huh.
下地狱烧死 好
“Burn in hell” Right.
下地狱烂光 很好
“Rot in hell” Oh, lovely.
去死 不错
“Die.” Charming.
麦斯 恭喜 你是我的偶像
Maxie? “Congratulations, you’re my hero.”
那是谁寄来的 你的律师
Who sent that? Your lawyer.
听着
Listen.
听着 我刚和欧塞讲完电♥话♥
I just got off the phone with Auzet.
处理你亨利叔叔财产的公♥证♥人
That’s the notaire handling your Uncle Henry’s estate.
寄那封信给我的就是她 对
She the one that sent me the letter? Yeah.
听好 似乎你的亨利叔叔
Anyway, listen, seems that your Uncle Henry
二十几年没更新他的遗嘱了
hasn’t updated his will in over 20 years.
以法国人的官僚文化 他们一个多月才通知我们
Which is why, in typical frog fashion, they take over a month to notify us.
怎么办 要宣读遗嘱
So, what do we do? ls there a reading
还是改用下载的了
or do we download that sort of thing these days?
不 那就是重点
No, that’s the point, Max.
你说什么
Sorry?
没有合法遗嘱 真的吗
There is no legal will. Really?
你是他最近的血亲 所以应该继承一切
You’re his closest blood relative so you get everything.
他的衣服和艾蒙多罗斯的唱片
What, his clothes and his Edmundo Ros LP’s?
是房♥子啦 白♥痴♥ 你要继承他的房♥子
The house, you git. You get to keep his house.
老农舍 葡萄园和葡萄
The old farmhouse, and the vineyard and the grapes?
想必还值几个钱吧
Must be worth a few quid.
嗯
Hm.
反正 好吧
Anyway. Right.
我替你订了机票 约好明天下午三点和欧塞见面
I booked you a flight and an appointment with Auzet for 3 tomorrow afternoon.
签几份档案就好了
Just a few papers to sign.
我明天不能去法国
Come on, I can’t go to France tomorrow.
我太受欢迎 要游街接受喝采 炫耀一下
I’m the toast of the town. I need to do a few victory laps. Show off a bit.
泡一 两晚夜店
Have a late night or two.
你听到肯尼读的信了 大家都恨你才好玩
You heard the mail. It’s times when everyone hates you when it’s fun.
去吧 你不在时就交给我们了 没问题
Go on, Max. We’ll take good care of the place when you’re gone. No problems.
最好是 肯尼
Right. Ken.
你干嘛不找一只小动物来虐待一下
Why don’t you try and find some small animals to hurt?
我知道 找只贵宾狗踢下阳台
I know, find a poodle and punt it off the balcony.
嗯
Mm.
告诉我一件事 什么
Tell me something, Max. Yes?
你关心他吗
Did you care for him?
关心啊
Yes, I did.
你们上次联络是何时 很久以前
When was the last time you spoke? A long time ago.
为什么会这样
Why?
不知道 大概是因为我成了浑球
I don’t know, probably got something to do with me becoming an asshole.
好吧
Okay.
嗨 你好 你好啊
Max. Hi. How are you?
恭喜 谢谢你
Congratulations. Thank you.
很期待能大摇大摆走过去
Looking so much forward to gloating through the room.
跟我来
Well, follow me.
汤尼 你好啊
Tony. How are you?
恭喜你 谢谢 奥斯汀
Congratulations. Thank you. Austin.
替我问候令尊
Say hi to your dad for me.
亲爱的 你好吗 很好 你呢
Love. How are you doing? Very well, how are you?
露西 嗨
Lucy. Hello.
我不知道你们俩彼此认识
I didn’t realize that you two knew each other. Whoops.
不错嘛
Adorable.
酒香迷人
Magnificent bouquet.
诱人的蜂蜜和香料气味
Alluring nose of honey and spice.
什么好东西都有
And all things nice.
用多酚即可看出美丽的红棕色
An inspection of the polyphenolics reveals magnificent hues of brick red
表示这是成熟的波尔多葡萄酒
indicative of a mature Bordeaux.
这是勃艮地
It’s a Burgundy.
对 我知道是勃艮地 您要葡萄酒吗
Yes, I knew it was a Burgundy. Wine, sir?
我要一杯日蚀气泡酒
I think I shall have an Eclipse.
谢谢你
Thank you.
别想双峰美景了 谈谈法国房♥地♥产♥吧
Can we get our minds off double-frontage, on French real estate?
你觉得价值多少 才过了不到一天
What do you think it’s worth? Barely a day has passed
就忘了失联已久的 叔叔过世的事
since you learned of the long-lost uncle’s departure from this world,
满脑子只想着钱
and all you can think of is money.
就是这位叔叔教我的 每个人都要有百万存款
This same uncle is the man who taught me every man needs a fuck-you million.
告诉我一些细节吧
You gonna furnish me with the particulars?
房♥地♥产♥经纪人要找到卖♥♥点才行
Because an estate agent needs something he can sink his teeth into.
我好久没去了 但印象中至少有六个房♥间
It’s been a while since I’ve been there. From memory, half a dozen bedrooms,
游泳池 网球场 满大的厨房♥ 谢谢
pool, tennis court, decent kitchen. Thanks.
十一公顷的葡萄园
Eleven hectares vineyard.
妈呀 听起来像豪♥宅♥ 法国庄园
Bloody hell, Max, sounds like an estate to me. A chateau.
这年头庄园值多少
What’s a chateau go for these days?
显然有你叔叔所要求的百万
Well, we’re obviously in the f-you department, aren’t we?
可能好几百万 真的 愿上帝保佑亨利
Maybe several. Really? God bless Henry.
我的佣金不能少
I won’t cut my commission.
我想也是 所以我才喜欢你
I wouldn’t expect you to, Charles. That’s why I’m fond of you.
既然如此 麦斯
Well, in that case, Max,
这杯我敬你
here’s to you.
洁玛
Gemma.
喂 肯尼
Yeah? Kenny?
我要近十年的投资收益
I want the current 10-year yield.
我要非农家发薪名单的最新数字
I want an update on the figures for non-farm payrolls.
我要你把屁♥股♥移开我的椅子
And I want you to get your scrawny little backside out of my chair.
谢谢你
Thank you.
他怎么会知道
How’d he know that?
蓝斯阿姆斯特朗
Lance Armstrong!
麦斯 嗨 你好吗
Maxie! Hi, how are you?
承认吧 你是记恨我圣诞派对 没上你
Admit it. This is because I didn’t shag you at the Christmas party, isn’t it?
我用性命发誓 他们没别的车了
Listen, I swear on my life, Max, they didn’t have any other cars.
你在哪里
So where are we, Max?
他妈的 路走到尽头了啦
Bollocky sake! I’ve gone to the end of that road.
你看 两条路都是D-3
Look! They’re both the D-3.
我左边是梅纳村 右边是卡维隆
I’ve got Menerbes on my left, Cavaillon on my right.
两条路都是D-3
And they’re both on the D-3.
闭嘴 好 等一下 我来帮你
Shut up! Okay, hang on a minute, I’ll help you.
我的卫星导航系统会结巴
I’ve got a GPS here with a stutter and a…
坦白说 法国人口气太差了
Quite frankly, a shitty froggy attitude!
左转就能直接上N-7了
Okay, turn left and that’ll take you straight onto the N-7.
只要你速度够快
And if you really put your foot on it,
说不定还能准时赴约
you might even get to your appointment on time.
妈的 去吃屎啦
Bollocks! Bugger!
任务管制中心
Mission control.
好 请你替我联络那位公♥证♥人
Right, love, please reschedule my meeting with the notaire
改约明天一大早 好
for first thing tomorrow morning. Okay.
钥匙怎么办
What about the keys, Max?
以前有块石头 在前门旁边
Oh, there used to be a stone, you know? By the front door.
请她把钥匙放在石头底下 我会去拿
Ask her to put the keys under the stone and I’ll pick them up from there.
好了 收到命令
Okay, copy that. Copy that.
有人吗
Hello?
亨利
Henry?
快点 比你蜜琪婶婶还要慢
Come on. You’re slower than your Aunt Midge.
就是这样 麦斯
That’s it, Max-a-million.
不好笑
It’s not funny!
你是什么 人还是老鼠
What are you? A man or a mouse?
好啦 我是老鼠 吱吱
Fine then. I’m a mouse. Squeak, squeak