兰戈

兰戈
Rango!
兰戈
兰戈
Rango…
兰戈
Rango!
兰戈
Rango…
兰戈
Rango…
今天我们聚集于此 用歌♥声来纪念
We are gathered here today to immortalize in song
一位伟人的传奇一生和英年早逝
the life and untimely death of a great legend.
坐好了 放轻松
So sit back, relax, and enjoy
好好享用你的低热量爆米花和什锦糖果
your low calorie popcorn and assorted confections,
听我们来讲述这位英雄 奇异而纠结的故事
while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero,
而这位英雄至今还没进入角色
who has yet to enter his own story.
MiMiMi MaMaMa[这家伙在开嗓子]
Crunchy-creamy-cookie-candy-cupcake.
好了 伙计们 重头再来吧
Okay, everybody! Let’s take it from the top.
舞台就绪 恐惧在这潮湿的夜晚悄然袭来
The stage is set. The night moist with that apprehension.
公主独守空房♥ 准备结束自己的生命
Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life.
没了爱情滋润的生活就是坨屎
It is far better to nourish worms than to live without love!
她伸手去取那杯毒酒
She reaches for the poison chalice.
此时 邪恶的马伏里奥正阴谋篡位
Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne.
而她年迈的父王已是奄奄一息
While her aging father lies gravely ill.
是啊 我奄奄一息
Yes, I’m gravely ill…
哈克 该谁上场了
Hark, who goes there?
当然该我了 千呼万唤始出来的大英雄
It is I! The much anticipated hero.
哥来营救那位想不开的少女了
Returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden.
你们这群小杂碎 再不放了她
Unhand her you jailers of virtue
哥让你们吃不了兜着走
or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance!
吃不了…兜那个…
The sting of my… the….
马科斯医生 马科斯医生
Doctor Marks? Doctor Marks,
你怎么都不给点反应啊
I’m not getting anything from you!
伙计们 咱们不商量好了吗
People, we’ve talked about this!
表演要有互动
Acting is reacting.
维克多 你的演技太烂了 看吧 我就说了
Victor, you were wooden! There, I said it.
蒂姆斯先生 你演得不错
Mister Tims, you were good.
也不用这么专业吧
Perhaps a little too good!
维克多 你说啥来着
What’s that, Victor?
我的角色还没定吗 扯什么淡
My character’s undefined? That’s absurd!
咱有自知之明 我就演…
I know who I am. I’m the…
那个谁来着 主角吧 就演那个英雄
I’m the guy! The protagonist, the hero!
每个故事都需要英雄
Every story needs a hero! I mean…
还有谁比咱更有资格沉浸在
Who else is better qualified to bask
无数同伴的溢美之辞中呢
in the adulation of his numerous companions!
舞台已经就绪
The stage is waiting.
观众们翘首期盼着一段冒险之旅
The audience thirsts for adventure.
我演谁呢
Who am I?
我可以演任何人
I could be anyone!
可以演一个历经磨难的船长
I…I could be the sea captain
刚刚返航修复他的假肢
returning from a mighty voyage, to reclaim his mechanical arm!
或是在刚果与蟒蛇共舞的彪悍人类学家
Or the rogue anthropologist, battling pythons down in the Congo!
趴下 春加
Down, Chunga!
若是你想来点浪漫
And if you desire romance,
我亦可化身绝世情人
I will become the greatest lover the world has ever known!
你好吗
Hola!
我不禁注意到 你注意到我在注意你
I couldn’t help but notice you noticing me noticing you.
女人们都觉得我帅得惹人抽
You know the women find me uncomfortably good looking.
但是你貌似挺淡定的嘛
But you seem remarkably at ease.
别这样 不 真的
Oh, stop it! No, really…
好吧 要是你真想这样的话
Well, if you must! Ha ha!
你在干什么
What are you doing?
痒痒 那是真的吗
That tickles! Are those real?
没错 冲突 维克多
That’s it! Conflict! Victor,
你是对的 我的角色还没定下来
you were right! I have been undefined!
伙计们 我有灵感了 大英雄总得有个来头
People, I’ve had an epiphany! The hero cannot exist in a vacuum!
我们的故事需要一个出人意料的噱头
What our story needs is an ironic, unexpected event,
那样才能让英雄路见不平拔刀相助
that will propel the hero into conflict.
蒂姆斯先生
Mister Tims?
没错 就是你
That’s right! You!
别害羞嘛 来吧 没关系的
Don’t be shy. Come on. It’s okay.
对了 过来点
That’s it, a little closer…
很好
Good.
我不会咬你的
I won’t bite you.
我需要一点帮助
I need a little help here.
你没事吧
Uh… Are you okay?
我得到路的另一边去
I must get to the other side.
另一边 也就是说刚刚横穿公路的是你了
The other side? You mean just now that was you crossing the road?
所以你…你这是为毛啊
That’s why… why did you do that?!
那是我的使命 他在等我
This is my quest. He waits for me.
啥时侯 咋回事 谁啊
When… What… Who?
西域之灵 朋友 至尊之灵
The spirit of the west, amigo. The one.
相传他的座驾是雪白的四轮马车
They say he rides an alabaster carriage
周围还有黄金守卫保护着他
with golden guardians to protect him.
什么 你在说什么
Wha… What are you talking about?
圣灵的启示 没它我们就是些浮云
Enlightenment. We are nothing without it.
浮云
Nothing?!
你虚妄的使命刚毁了我的生活
Your delusional quest just ruined my life!
我本来有个极其复杂的社交网络
I had an incredibly complex social network!
可都是咱的铁哥们啊 我可是香饽饽
Highly sophisticated friends! I was very popular!
哥们 我可不觉得你有什么哥们
Friends? I don’t see no friends.
-那个 -你是一只无比孤独的蜥蜴
– Well, uhm… – You are a very lonely lizard.
听着 我需要水 牙齿都干裂了
Look, I need water, hydration. My teeth are chapped.
我要乳液 保护咱可怜的单层皮肤
I need lotion. I’m down to one layer of skin already.
再过不久 我都能瞧见自己身体里的玩意儿了
Pretty soon, I’m going to start seeing my insides.
当然跟你这情况不一样
Not unlike what you’ve got going there.
听着 我在沙漠里可活不下去
Listen, I can’t survive in the desert, okay?
我不属于这
I… I don’t belong here.
有道理 不过事已至此了
That may be true, but here you are.
现在 帮帮我
Now… Help me up,
我会帮你找到你想要的东西
and I’ll help you find what you seek.
-你会吗 -快点 我得继续我的任务了
– Uhh… You will? – Quickly now. I must get back to my quest.
-你以前这么干过吗 -那是 老多了
– You mean you’ve done this before? – Oh, yes. Many times.
来吧 来吧 就是这样 拉住我手指
Come, come. That’s it. Pull my finger.
圣灵正等着呢
The spirit is waiting for me!
好吧 好吧
Okay, okay…
-算了 没用的 -我必须到另一边去
– Okay! That’s not gonna work. – I must get to the other side.
没车的时候再过马路会死啊
Why don’t you just wait until there are no cars coming?
这可没看上去那么简单
It’s not so easy as it looks…
啥
A what?
隐喻 不懂了吧
It’s a metaphor.
这里还有一个
Hey, there’s another one!
我见过它
I knew it!
需要帮助吗 朋友
You need a little help, amigo?
我想这个隐喻毁了我的脾脏
I think the metaphore broke my spleen.
通往知识的道路满布荆棘
The path to knowledge is fraught with consequence.
是啊 我只是想找到通往水的道路
Yeah… I’m just looking for the path to water.
你要是想找水 就得先找到尘埃
If you want to find water, you must first find dirt.
尘埃
Dirt?
命运 她待你不薄
Destiny, she is kind to you.
明天是星期三 会有水的
Tomorrow is Wednesday, the water comes.
中午的时候
At noon,
镇上的人们聚到一起举♥行♥神秘的仪式
the towns people gather for a mysterious ritual…
镇上 一群人聚在一起那种吗
A town? Like with real people and everything?
-在哪里 -一天的路程 跟着你的影子走
– Where? – A day’s journey. Follow your shadow.
你是说 要我进沙漠吗
You want me to just walk out into the desert?
仅此一条路
That’s the way.
好吧 你是说有一座小镇
Okay. So you’re saying there’s a town,
一座真正的小镇 不是什么幌子
a real town? Not a metaphor town?
走吧 没事的
Go on. It’s okay.
好吧 那我就去了
Okay. Well, then I’m going.
我这就去 说走就走
I am leaving the road. Now!
壮士一去沙漠兮
I’m walking… into… the desert!
-不复还 -各走各路吧
– Alone! – We all have our journeys to make!
咱们到另一边再见