后会有期

♪ 我知道的 ♪
♪ I understand ♪
♪ 我都明白 ♪
♪ I understand ♪
♪ 姑娘们都痴迷于我 ♪
♪ Ladies, they love me ♪
♪ 因为她们够了解我 ♪
♪ They know me ♪
♪ 因为我就是完美情人 ♪
♪ ‘Cause I am the man ♪
♪ 我 我 我知道对你们来说 ♪
♪ I- I- I know it’s hard ♪
♪ 要理解就宛若入坟 ♪
♪ For you to comprehend ♪
♪ 我知 我知 我知道的 ♪
♪ I unders- I unders- I understand ♪
♪ 爷什么都有 ♪
♪ I got the mojo ♪
♪ 就让姑娘们尽情地蹦跶吧 ♪
♪ Ladies they wanna hop on it like pogo ♪
♪ 一个个酸民装聋做哑 ♪
♪ Haters act like they don’t know ♪
♪ 还以为自己有多潇洒 ♪
♪ But they know though ♪
♪ 生活是一场热舞 ♪
♪ Life is a dance ♪
♪ 而现在就是我的独舞 ♪
♪ And this is my solo, uh ♪
♪ 姑娘们都痴迷于我 ♪
♪ Ladies, they love me ♪
♪ 因为她们够了解我 ♪
♪ They know me ♪
♪ 因为我就是完美情人 ♪
♪ ‘Cause I am the man ♪
♪ 我知道 ♪
♪ I understand ♪
♪ 我知道 我都明白 ♪
♪ I understand, I understand ♪
♪ 我知道 我都明白 ♪
♪ I understand, I understand ♪
♪ 我就是完美情人 ♪
♪ I am the man I am the man ♪
♪ 我都明白 ♪
♪ I understand ♪
起床了 你准备好了吗
Morning, bug. You ready?
我们开始吧
Let’s get this show on the road.
妈 我能晚点起吗
Give me a couple minutes, Mom?
今天不行 你早上有治疗
Not today. You got early therapy.
好了 来吧
Alrighty, here we go.
一 二 起
That’s one, two, buckle my bug.
我都不知道说了多少遍回收利用
And I don’t know how many times we can go through recycling.
要把盒子拆开
You gotta break down your boxes.
你必须要把盒子拆开 知道吗
You have to break down your boxes, you know?
还有回收利用太可笑了
And also, the recycling, it’s ridiculous.
-你就不能出去转转吗 -我得把你弄干净
– Can you go around just for today? – I gotta get you clean.
-这没什么不正常的 -是啊 妈
– It’s perfectly normal. – You’re right, Ma.
我都24岁了你还帮我洗蛋 真是太正常了
Twenty-four years old, you’re washing my balls. It’s perfectly normal.
就是太没礼貌了 很多时候你可以
It just seems very, very rude. I mean, I don’t know how many times
发邮件 短♥信♥或者打个电♥话♥
you can email and text and call.
我不可能同时出现在几个地方
You know, I just can’t, I can’t go to everything.
我不喜欢去电影院
I actually don’t like to go to the public movie theaters
你又不知道坐垫里有没有螨虫那些东西
because you don’t know about bedbugs and stuff like that.
我可不想听那些
I don’t have to listen
青春期小孩和不懂礼貌的大人
to any rude teenagers or people
对着荧幕指指点点
talking to the screen.
有些时候
And you know how sometimes
有人在放预告片的时候
when people say something funny
讲了个段子
during the trailer,
然后他们就会开始上头
and then they start really feeling their oats,
觉得自己多牛逼似的讲个不停
and they just keep it going
懂我意思吗 他们应该见好就收
you know what I mean? They should just quit while they’re ahead,
但是他们就是要讲个不停 小心点
but they just keep on yapping. Careful.
-早 -早 莫
– Hey. – Hey, Mo.
你的头发很好看
You have lovely hair.
谢了
Thanks, man.
-早上好 莫 -早 萨拉 还好吗
– Good morning, Mo. – Hey, Sarah, how’s it going?
-挺好的 你呢 -很好
– Pretty good. How are you? – Good.
是你做的这张表吗
Uhm, hey, did you do this new schedule?
是我
I did.
你不小心把新来的分给了贝琪
Oh, you accidentally put the new guy with Becky.
我可没弄错
Wasn’t an accident.
莫 斯科蒂会发飙的
Mo, Scotty’s going to freak out.
他可把我带去了
Yeah, well, he led me into the ladies’ room
电影院女洗手间
at the movie theaters is why.
不会吧 里面有人吗
No. Were there other people in there?
一开始没有 但后来可能有电影散场了
Not at first, but then I guess some big movie let out,
就有一堆女人就不断地进来
the women just kept on coming and coming and coming,
我只能待在里面
so I just stayed in there.
接着大概是又有一部电影散场了
Then I guess another movie let out.
我在里面待了45分钟
It must have been 45 minutes.
我去了两次洗手间
I went to the bathroom two times.
我这是在报复他
This is revenge.
早上好 斯科蒂
Hey, Scotty.
是斯科蒂吗 你怎么样
Hey, is that Scotty? What’s up, buddy?
-谁他妈的是马特 -莫安排的表格
– Who the hell’s Matt? – Mo did the schedule.
莫 你这个瞎傻屌♥
Mo, you blind douche fuck!
就因为洗手间的事吗 我在开玩笑哎
Is this about the ladies’ room? That was a joke.
这更搞笑
This is funnier.
我是马特·况 我是新来的
Hey, I’m Matt Kwong. I’m a new patient.
欢迎 在这签字
Welcome. Just sign in right here.
去1号♥房♥间找贝琪 就在那儿
You’re gonna be with Becky in room one, just right over there.
谢谢
Thank you.
借过
Excuse me.
♪ 我都知道 我明白的 ♪
♪ I understand I understand ♪
♪ 我就是完美情人 ♪
♪ I am the man I am the man ♪
♪ 我知道的 ♪
♪ I understand ♪
斯科蒂 早上好
Scotty. Morning.
怎么了
What’s the matter?
动起来
Look alive, boys!
好了 混♥蛋♥ 我们扯平了
All right, asshole, we’re even.
往好的方面想
Uh, look at the bright side.
和雷纳尔多在一起 你至少不会撑帐篷
At least with Renaldo, you don’t pitch a tent during therapy.
这他妈是什么意思
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
贝琪给你拉伸的时候罗尼看见了
When Becky was stretching you out last week, Ronnie walked by,
-说你当时下面在撑帐篷 -混♥蛋♥
said you were sporting a full- on panhandle. – That cocksucker.
让我们看看你打得怎么样
Come on, let’s see what you got, let’s see what you got.
漂亮 就是这样 加油 瑞克
Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! Come on, Rick!
偷二垒
Steal second.
-你知道你在讲什么吗 -不知道
– Do you know what you’re saying? – Nah, not really.
完全不知道
Not at all.
加油 瑞克
Come on, Ricky!
-他妈的在开玩笑吧 -怎么了
– Oh, you fucking kidding me? – What’s going on?
-天呐 这家伙 别是在逗我吧 -怎么了
– Oh, my God. You fucking kiddin’ me, this guy. – What?
-真不敢相信他也在这儿 -等下 你去哪
– I can’t believe this guy. – Wait, where are you going?
你 肌肉男
Hey, yo, Biceps.
我就提醒你一句 我们这儿有规矩
Just so we’re clear, there’s a pecking order around here.
我是老大 你什么也不是
The very top, me. Down at the very bottom, you.
贝琪是我的理疗师 你去找长毛怪
Becky’s my physical therapist. You get the hairy Spaniard.
哥们儿 又不是我排表的
I don’t make the schedule, guy.
-你在干嘛 -说啊 贝琪是我的
– What are you doing? – Say it! Becky’s mine.
-你什么毛病啊 -快说
– What is wrong with you, man? – Say it.
行 行 贝琪是你的
Yeah, yeah, Becky’s yours.
-什么鬼玩意儿 -还有 你那是老人椅
– Shit. – That’s a grandma chair, by the way.
你看起来简直滑稽至极 去换把新的吧
You look fucking ridiculous out here. Get yourself a new chair.
怎么了 上啊
What’s happening? Here we go.
他能成功吗
He gonna make it?
-干得好 -谢了
– Great job. – Thanks, baby.
你看什么看
What are you looking at?
抱歉 兄弟 无意冒犯 就是
Sorry, man. No offense. Just…
牛逼 真有你的
damn. Good for you.
忍♥得很难受吧
You got it bad, huh?
-什么 -下面快憋炸了吧
– For what? – Blue balls.
操 都快硬成化石了
Shit, man, try fossilized.
我有东西给你
I got something for you.
拿着
Here, take this.
这是什么
What is this?
是能让你美梦成真的东西
The answer to your prayers.
以后你会谢我的
You’ll thank me later.
你会的
You will.
天堂堡垒
后会有期
你好 我叫菲利普 我是个残疾人
Bonjour. My name is Philippe. I am physically disabled.
许多年来 我都没有艳遇
For many years, I struggled with sexual encounters.