龙虾

龙虾
我真的很抱歉
I’m really sorry
他是戴着框架眼镜还是隐形眼镜
Does he wear glasses or contact lens?
框架眼镜
Glasses
你要抓紧时间了
You would have to hurry up
他觉得穿这双棕色皮鞋最合适
He decided his brown leather shoes were the best pair to wear
他背部有些疼痛 但不同于以往
His back hurt a little, but not like some other time in the past…
不再是那种难以忍♥受的疼痛
when the pain was intolerable
他心想 妻子早已不再爱他
He was thinking his wife doesn’t love him at all anymore
他没有因此痛哭流涕 也没有想到
He didn’t burst into tear and he didn’t think…
当被爱人抛弃时
things most people do…
大部分人的第一反应 是哭泣
when they realise someone doesn’t love them anymore is cry
先生 您能看向这边的镜头吗
Sir, would you mind take a look into the camera here for me?
好了 谢谢
That’s ok, thank you
您之前单身过吗 不 从来没有
Have you ever been on your own before? No, never
对什么食物过敏吗 不
Are you allergic to any food? No
上一段感情持续了多少年
Your last relationship last how many years?
大概十二年
Around 12
您记得具体是多久吗 十一年七个月
Do you remember how long exactly sir? Eleven years and seven months
您的性取向是 异性恋
Sexual preference?Women
不过之前在大学的时候
However I had one homosexual experience…
有过一段同性恋的经历
in the past, in college
可以写成双性恋吗
Is there bisexual option available?
不能 先生 出于具体操作原因
No sir, this option is no longer available
从去年夏天开始
since about last summer…
就不能这么写了
due to several operational problems
恐怕您现在就要决定
I’m afraid you have yo decide right now if you want to be registered as…
以何种取向登记
homosexual or heterosexual
那就以异性恋登记吧
I think I should be registered as heterosexual
有小孩吗 先生 没有
Any children sir?No
那这只狗是
And dog?
那是我哥哥 他几年前来过这 但他没能成功
My brother, he was here couple of years ago, but he didn’t make it
你也许记得他
You might remember him
中等身材 四十八岁 有些秃顶 金发
Medium built, 48 years old, bald patch, blond hair
恐怕我不太记得了 先生
I’m afraid no sir
好了 请在这张表上清楚得写下您的姓名
Ok, I like you to write your name clearly on this form
全部大写 并签上名字
In capital letter and sign please
很好 谢谢
Very good, thank you very much
您不能使用排球场地和网球场
So, you’re not allow to use volley-ball or tennis court
这些仅供情侣使用
These are only for the couples
您可以使用单人的运动设施
You can use facility for individual sports
例如壁球和高尔夫
such as squash and golf
您最多可以在酒店住四十五天
You can stay at hotel for up to 45 days
您的房♥间是单人间
You would be staying at the single room
如果一切顺利并且成功找到伴侣
If everything goes well and you make it,
您可以搬去双人间
you would be moved to a double room
非常抱歉 您不能保留任何个人物品
I’m afraid you can’t keep any of your personal belongings
我们会提供所有您需要的物品
We will provide everything you need as far as…
例如 衣物 饰品 鞋子等等
garments, accessories, and shoes are concerned
这个您可以留着 谢谢
You can keep this Thank you
请问您穿多大的鞋 四十四码半
Shoe size please 44 and a half
四十四还是四十五 这里没有半码的鞋子
44 or 45? there’s no half sizes
四十五
如果您需要理发 请提前一天告知前台
If you need a hair cut, call reception one day ahead,
酒店内禁止吸烟
smoking is not allowed
这样能保证在狩猎时有充足的体能
That you would be able to run for longer during the hunt without getting tired…
以及亲吻时不会有口气
and you breath won’t smell when you kiss
入住愉快
Enjoy your stay
不好意思
Excuse me
如果要理发 必须提前一天通知前台 是吗
If we need to get hair cut, we must call reception a day before, is that right?
是的 好的
That’s right Great
他的房♥间号♥是一〇一
His room number was 101
他床头的墙上
A tranqulizer gun…
挂着一把麻♥醉♥枪♥
was hanging on the wall above his bed
在桌上放着二十支麻醉镖
On the table were 20 tranquilzer darts…
一块黑色的塑料手表 一副太阳镜
a black plastic watch, a pair of sunglasses…
以及男士古龙香水
and a cologne for man
衣柜里是四条款式一样的灰色裤子
Inside the wardrobe were four identical grey trousers…
四件扣紧的男士衬衫 蓝白两色
four identical button down shirts in white and blue…
一条皮带 一双袜子 一条内♥裤♥ 一件夹克衫
a belt, socks, underwear, a blazer…
一根条纹领带和一件白色浴袍
a striped tie and a white bathrobe
他看向窗外
He looked out of window
被捕的独身者们
The unconscious bodies of captured loners…
毫无知觉地躺在湿漉漉的地上
were lying on the wet ground
“幸好他们穿着防水的斗篷” 他心想
“Thank God they wear those water proof ponchos”, he thought
一九五房♥
Room 195
捕到两个独身者 赢得额外的两天时间
Two loners, two extra days
二七二房♥
Room 272
捕到一个独身者 赢得额外的一天
One loner, one extra day
你好 我是酒店经理 这位先生是我的伴侣
Hello, I’m the hotel manager, and this gentleman is my partner
我们在此欢迎您入住
We like to welcome you
您是住客中的幸运儿
You’re one of the lucky one
您的房♥间有我们这最好的景致
You have one of our supreme room which means you have a view
您看过宣传手册了吗 是的
Did you read the lease list Yes it is
很好
Very good
在您入住的这段期间 如果没有找到伴侣
Now the fact you turning into a animal…
你将变成一种动物
if you fail to fall in love with someone during your stay here…
但你不必因此感到焦虑和沮丧
is not something should upset you or get you down
既是变成了动物
Just think as a animal…
您也有第二次的机会找到伴侣
you have a second chance to find a companion
当然 您要仔细考虑
But even then you must be careful
您得找到一个相近的物种
You need to choose a companion that is similar type animal…
作为伴侣
to you
毕竟 狼和企鹅可是永远无法共处的
A wolf and a penguin can never live together
骆驼和河马也一样
Nor a camel and a hippopotamus
否则就会太荒谬了 您觉得呢
That would be absurd, think about it
我理解 这种谈话可能让您不太舒服
I understand this discussion is a little unpleasant for you
但我的职责就是
But it is my duty to prepare you…
让你做好心理准备 去迎接所有可能的结果
psychologically for all possible outcomes
那么如果您在结束前没能找到伴侣
Now have you thought of what animal you like to be
您想变成什么动物呢
if end up alone?
我想变成一只龙虾
Yes, a lobster
为什么是龙虾呢
Why a lobster?
因为龙虾可以活一百多年
Because lobster live for over one hundred years
其蓝色血液有着贵族的气息
Are blue blood like aristocrat…
而且终生保持生育能力
and stay fertile all their life
我也很喜欢大海
I also like the sea very much
我年轻时就很擅长滑水和游泳
I water ski, swim quite well since I was a teenager
我必须恭喜您 大多数人第一个想到的是狗
I must congratulate you, the first thing most people think of is a dog…
这就是为什么满世界都是狗
which is why the world is full of dogs
很少有人选择不同寻常的动物
Very few people choose unusual animal…
这也是为什么他们正在濒临灭绝
which is why they are in danger
龙虾是极好的选择
A lobster is a excellent choice
您能站起来一下吗
Could you stand for us please?
这是为了让您明白
This is to show you how easy life is…
相比形单影只 成双成对会过得更舒适
when there are two of something rather than just one
我们总是时常忘记
We tend to forget that from time to time
明天这个时候您就能把手铐取下来了
The handcuff will be removed the same time tomorrow
抱歉 鲍勃
I’m sorry bob
希望我们能相处愉快
Hope you enjoy staying with us
再见
Goodbye
祝您一天愉快
Have a good day
早上好
Good morning
一〇一房♥间 剩余四十四天
Room 101, 44 days left
早餐已开始供应
Breakfast is served
他永远不会忘记在酒店的第一天
His first day was one he never forget
他旁边的桌子坐着一个年轻的女人
Near his table of breakfast sat a young women…
她的头向后仰着
with her head tilted back
后来他会知道
Later he would learn…
原来她经常流鼻血
she often got nose bleed
她边上坐着她最好的朋友
Next to her sat her best friend