终极天将

帮帮我
Help me.
当太阳升上了
And so, as the sun rose…
起司之岛
over the island of Cheese…
阳光退去了深长的影子 穿过了香肠制的灌木丛
casting long shadows through the sausage bushes…
照耀了蜂蜜树的顶端
illuminating the tops of the honey trees…
也温暖了熏制鲑鱼的原野
and warming the fields of smoked salmon…
我蒙乔生男爵
I, Baron Munchausen…
为了吐真♥相♥而来
who am renowned first and foremost for telling the truth…
除了真话 没别的了
the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
在这世上是赫赫有名的
For while it has been my privilege…
拉紧 抓稳
-Tighter! Tighter! -Hold steady!
如果你被炸得粉身碎骨了
How can you become a great actress like me…
还怎么当一个伟大的演员呢
poor darling, if you get blown to pieces?
快点 在我的家乡…
-Come on! -Native land.
哦 哟
Oh, yeah!
他们想要教导
There to attempt the education…
我那吝啬 心胸狭窄
of their provincial and narrow-minded…
还有从不轻信一切的乡下人
and stupidly incredulous fellow countrymen…
我们起锚开始航行
we heaved anchor and set sail.
我们起锚开始航行
We heaved anchor and set sail!
海浪 海浪哟
The waves!
哦 讨厌的人 起锚
-Oh, bugger! -We heaved anchor.
我们是演员哩 起航
-We are actors! -And set sail.
可恶的幕后人员去哪了
Where the devil are the stagehands?
死罗 全都死光了吗
-Dead! -They can’t all have been killed!
没人杀他 自尽了
Not killed, ducky. Suicide!
和你演出无事可做
Nothing to do with your acting.
起锚
We heaved anchor…
命运将追赶着我
But ill luck pursued me…
我被吹向鲸鱼的嘴去
and I was blown towards the waiting jaws…
一头体积巨大无比的鲸鱼
of a whale of such prodigious size and length…
连我的望远镜 也无法一眼望尽
that I could not, even with a telescope…
它的身躯
see the end of him.
男爵将是什么命运呢
What will become of the baron
目前的状况看是无法逃脱的
Surely this time there is no escape
看来男爵他
What will become of the baron
这段时间里
Surely this time there
是无法逃脱的
Is no escape
在这种情况下
I have learned from experience…
一丝微细的烛光
that a modicum of snuff…
也将是一线生机
can be most efficacious.
该死的铃…
Hells bells…
和满满的血
and buckets of blood!
海浪去哪了
Where were the waves?
海浪 你刺伤了我的要害
The waves! You’ve stabbed my vitals!
你们这堆白♥痴♥低能儿
-You incompetent imbecile! -It wasn’t me!
不是我 是她
It was her!
不是我 是他
It wasn’t me! It was him! You big pintle!
我们应要很专业的
We are supposed to be professionals!
才能生存下去呀
And we’re trying to stay alive!
莎莉 好吧
-Sally! -All right.
给我留在这
Now stay in here or I shall lock you up.
我的兄弟呢 什么
-Where’s my brother? -What?
你没有任何兄弟呀
You haven’t got a brother.
那你告诉我 为何它写着”亨利索特和他儿子”
Then you just tell me why it says, “Henry Salt and Son.”
我是你女儿 我不去教你怎念
-I’m your daughter. -I shouldn’t have taught you to read.
按照传统的 所以是如此
“And Son” is traditional. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.
不 苏丹王的要求的 仍然十分不合理
No. The sultan’s demands are still not sufficiently rational.
长久的和平 只要一个基本的理由
The only lasting peace is one based on reason and scientific principle.
真抱歉 杰克逊先生
I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Jackson.
首映没很顺利
The first act didn’t go quite as we would have liked.
出了一两个技术性问题
One or two little technical problems.
别再道歉了 索特先生
Oh, please don’t apologize, Mr. Salt. I’m sure you’re doing your best…
现是个非常时期
in very trying circumstances.
中断一下 嗯 啊 抱歉
-Your attention. -Hmm? Ah, excuse me.
官员冒着…
The officer who risked his life…
被敌方六门大炮击中的危险
by single-handedly destroying six enemy cannon…
解救了十个土耳其的俘虏
and rescuing ten of our men held captive by the Turk.
是 长官
Yes, sir.
我们对你早有所闻了 这是我的职责 长官
-The officer we’ve heard so much about. -I suppose so, sir.
总得冒着极大的风险
Always taking risks far beyond the call of duty.
我只是尽我最大的能力 长官
I only did my best, sir.
他有马上处决吗
Have him executed at once.
是的 长官 一起来
-Yes, sir. -Come along.
这种做法♥会♥让一般士兵士气低落的
This sort of behavior is demoralizing for ordinary soldiers and citizens…
他们只想要过着平静的生活
who are trying to lead normal, simple, unexceptional lives.
没有激动民众的煽动 情势变得很难堪了
Things are difficult as it is without emotional people rocking the boat.
君士坦丁堡
Constantinople.
土耳其帝国的宫廷
The court of the grand Turk.
真是惊人
What a surprise…
微风吹送 此处让我也变得飘然
that a passing zephyr should waft me here.
也许我…
Perhaps fate wishes me…
该给这苏丹王上个一两课
to teach the sultan a lesson or two.
高贵的苏丹王十分锺爱好酒
His highness the sultan loved a good wine…
又无法拒赌博于外
and could never resist a wager.
不惜代价的是他的特质
Characteristics that were to cost him dear.
鬼扯呀鬼扯
Lies!
你这流氓 我不会让你再乱说下去
Those scoundrels! I won’t put up with it!
它是不能容忍♥的
It’s intolerable!
给我停止这场可笑的模仿秀
Stop this travesty! Stop it!
真是侮辱
It’s an insult! An indignity!
我今生不曾见过如此多的废物
I’ve never seen so much rubbish in all my life!
你根本不知你在说什么
You don’t know what you’re talking about!
有一天 经过一场奢华的晚宴
One day, after a sumptuous dinner…
这是应该发生的 苏丹王吩咐我陪他
-Is this supposed to happen? -The sultan bade me to accompany him..
到他私人宫殿
to his private apartments.
请离开这舞台
Uh, please. No, don’t. Please.
这恶棍是个大骗子
This blackguard’s an impostor!
我才是蒙乔生男爵 没有骗你们
I am the Baron Munchausen, and I won’t be made a fool of!
拜托 你不能来这里 不 不
-Please! You cannot come up here! -No, no!
我们正在演出 你们只是演出一出令人讥笑的戏剧
-We are presenting a performance! -You are presenting a mockery.
你把我当成一个荒唐至极的笑话
You present me as if I were ridiculous fiction. A joke!
我不想这样的
I won’t have it!
这是在搞什么鬼东西
What the devil’s going on?
布幔
Curtains!
嘘
Boo!
快给我下台
Get him off!
老傻瓜 你把秀给全毁了
Old fool! You’re ruining the show!
快想法子
Quick! Jeremy, Bill, do something!
我得和我的观众说明
I must talk with my audience.
各位女士 先生…
Ladies and gentlemen, I must…
我须为这糟糕的事件向你们致歉
I must apologize for this most dreadful occurrence.
我可向你们担♥保♥…
I can assure you that…
哈罗 哈罗
-Hello. -Hello.
美丽的淑女们
Beautiful ladies.
哈罗
Hello.
美丽的淑女…
Beautiful ladies.
你很有品味呢 先生
You have really great taste, sir.
除此之外 全都大错特错了
Otherwise, it’s all quite wrong!
听好 我们还有表演得进行…
Listen, cocky. We’ve got a show to do.
天呀 勃透德
Good lord! Berthold!
谁是勃透德
Who’s Berthold?
在地球上可好…真不可思议 还能见到你
How on earth? It’s marvelous to see you!
你好吗 你去了哪里
How are you? Where’ve you been?
你腿如何了
How are your legs?
其他人呢 艾布瑞特
Where are the others? Albrecht!
阿都芬斯 格斯塔维斯
Adolphus! Gustavus!
真不敢相信 这是个神迹
I can’t believe it! This is miraculous!
我是比尔 他是比尔
-I’m Bill. -He’s Bill.
他还在这 把他摆脱了
Is he still here? Will you get rid of him, for goodness sake!