壁花少年（2012）

壁花少年
亲爱的朋友
Dear Friend,
我给你写信 是因为
I am writing to you because
她说你乐于倾听 善解人意
she said you listen and understand
而且不会随便和派对上认识的人睡觉
and didn’t try to sleep with that person at that party,
即便你有机会
even though you could have.
请不要猜测我是谁
Please don’t try to figure out who I am.
我不希望你这样
I don’t want you to do that.
我只想知道 像你这样的人真的存在
I just need to know that people like you exist.
假如哪天我们见面 你就不会想到我是
Like if you met me, you wouldn’t think I was
医院里那个怪孩子
the weird kid who spent time in the hospital.
我也不会让你紧张
And I wouldn’t make you nervous.
请允许我这么想
I hope it’s okay for me to think that.
整个夏天 除了我的家人
You see, I haven’t really talked to anyone
我没和任何人说过话
outside of my family all summer.
但明天是我高中生活的第一天
But tomorrow is my first day of high school ever
我需要做些调整
and I need to turn things around.
所以 我有个计划
So, I have a plan.
当我第一次走进校门
As I enter the school for the first time
我要想象一下
I will visualize what it will be like
毕业那天的情景
on the last day of my senior year.
很不幸 我计算了一下 还要再熬
Unfortunately, I counted, and that’s
跳 新人蛤♥蟆♥ 快跳 快啊小子们
Hop, freshman toads. Hop! Let’s move it, boys!
1385个日日夜夜
1385 days from now.
我练了整个夏天 现在可厉害了
Worked out all summer. Rock hard.
你们俩怎么不去开房♥
You know, why don’t you guys get a room?
1385天而已
Just 1385 days.
同时 我希望
In the meantime, I’d hoped that
我的姐姐坎黛丝和她男朋友德里克
my sister Candace and her boyfriend Derek
能让我和他们地球俱乐部的成员共进午餐
would have let me eat lunch with their Earth Club.
仅限高年级生
Seniors only.
你怎么拿个塑料叉勺
What are you doing with that plastic spork?
银制餐具还得还回来
I don’t want to bring back silverware.
德里克 你可是地球俱乐部财务 拿着
Derek, you’re Earth Club Treasurer. Come on.
被姐姐拒绝后
When my sister said no
我想 也许我的老朋友苏珊
I thought maybe my old friend Susan
会愿意和我一起吃午饭
would want to have lunch with me.
初中时 苏珊为人风趣友善
In middle school, Susan was very fun to be around,
但现在 她再也不愿意搭理我了
but now she doesn’t like to say hi to me anymore.
还有布拉德•海斯
And then there’s Brad Hays.
我哥哥去宾州州立大学橄榄球队之前
Before my brother went to play football for Penn State
和布拉德是队友
he and Brad played together.
我本以为他会和我打个招呼
So, I thought maybe he’d say hi to me.
但布拉德是高年级 我又这么内向
But Brad’s a senior and I’m me,
还是别自欺欺人了
so, who am I kidding?
好的一面是 有个高年级生
On the bright side, one senior
打算不捉弄新生 而捉弄老师
decided to make fun of the teacher instead of the freshmen.
他还用油彩笔画上了卡拉翰老师
He even drew on Mr. Callahan’s
传说中的山羊胡子
legendary goatee with a grease pencil.
冲心錾可不是玩具
The prick punch is not a toy.
我是1968年在越南的时候知道的
I learned that back in ‘Nam in ’68.
越南战争 1959-1975年
“卡拉翰” 中士说
“Callahan,” The sergeant said
“把那冲心錾放下 去杀几个亚洲佬”
“you put down that prick punch, you go kill some gooks.”
知道后来发生了什么吗
And you know what happened?
我最好的朋友被那个冲心錾杀死了
That prick punch killed my best friend
在西贡一家妓院里
in a Saigon whorehouse.
西贡 越南城市 现胡志明市
我早就听说你会来我班上
I heard you were gonna be in my class.
高年级了 还得上新生的手工课
Are you proud to be a senior
是不是觉得很骄傲 “拍蛋糕”
having to take freshman shop, Patty-Cakes?
听好了 我叫帕特里克
Look. My name is Patrick.
你要么叫我帕特里克 要么就给我别叫
Either you call me Patrick or you call me nothing.
好吧 “别叫”
Okay, Nothing.
我为帕特里克感到难过
I felt really bad for Patrick.
他模仿老师其实并无恶意
He wasn’t saying the impersonation to be mean or anything.
只是想让新生感觉好受些
He was just trying to make us freshmen feel better.
“别叫” 你先读吧
Nothing, why don’t you read first?
好吧 第一章
Alright. Chapter 1.
抗争你的法♥西♥斯♥手工课老师
Surviving your fascist shop teacher,
因为他爱打♥压♥学生 抬高自己
who needs to put kids down to feel big.
这很实用 我们接着读
This is useful guys. We should read on.
我这天的最后一节课是高级英语
My last class of the day is advanced English
我很激动 终于可以
and I’m really excited to finally
和学校里最聪明的孩子一起学习了
learn with the smartest kids in the school.
活页夹不错啊 基佬
Nice Trapper Keeper, faggot.
信不信由你 她从幼儿园起就是全优生
Believe it or not, she’s gotten straight A since kindergarten.
我是安德森老师
I’m Mr. Anderson.
是你们的高一英语老师
I’m going to be your teacher for freshman English.
这学期我们要学习
This semester, we’re going to learn about
哈珀•李的《杀死一只知更鸟》
Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird.
天才的作品
Genius book.
有谁想免考第一次测验的
Now, who’d like to get out of the first pop quiz?
真让我惊讶
I’m shocked.
好 如果想免考这次测验
Alright. You can skip the quiz
就告诉我 是哪个作家发明了平装书
if you tell me which author invented the paperback book.
谁知道
Anyone?
是位英国作家
He was British.
他还首创了连载小说
He also invented the serial.
事实上 在他第一本小说的第三章末尾
In fact, at the end of the third chapter of his first novel
他写到一个人用手指扣在悬崖上吊着
he had a man hanging from a cliff by his fingernails.
于是就有了”扣人心弦”这个词
Hence, the term cliffhanger.
有人知道吗
Anybody?
-你说 -莎士比亚
– Yeah. – Shakespeare.
猜得好 但不对 莎士比亚不写小说
That’s a great guess, but no, Shakespeare didn’t write novels.
还有谁知道
Anybody else?
这位作家
The author
就是查尔斯•狄更斯
is Charles Dickens.
另外 如果我们一起去看莎士比亚戏剧
However, if you and I had gone to a Shakespeare play,
我们得花四便士
it would have cost us 4 pennies.
想象一下
Can you imagine that?
那些钱会被放进一个金属盒子里
We would have put those pennies in a metal box
引座员会把盒子锁在一个房♥间里
the ushers would lock in the office.
于是就有了一个词
And that’s where we get the term…
收银机
Cash register.
谁要是答对了 除期末论文外
I’ll give you a free “A” on anything till the final term paper
其余成绩我都给优
if you get it right.
票房♥[盒子+房♥间]
Box office.
你应该学会参与
You should learn to participate.
为什么不举手呢
Why didn’t you raise your hand?
是不是有人嘲笑你是老师的宠物
They call you teacher’s pet?
叫你怪胎 之类的绰号♥
Freak? That kind of things?
我以前被人叫蠢蛋 这也太难听了
I used to get spaz. I mean, come on, spaz?
我听说你去年过得不好
You know, I heard you had a tough time last year.
但有人说 如果在第一天交到一个朋友
But they say if you make one friend on your first day,
说明你还不错
you’re doing okay.
谢谢您 老师
Thank you, sir.
但如果英语老师是我今天唯一交到的朋友
But if my English teacher is the only friend I make today,
那就挺郁闷的了
that would be sort of depressing.
是啊 我明白
Yeah. I could see that.
别担心 安德森先生 我没事
Don’t worry, Mr. Anderson. I’m okay.
谢谢您
Thanks.
我会毫不犹豫把手工课翘了…
I would happily not take shop…
新人蛤♥蟆♥
Hey, Freshman Toad.
还有1384天
I have 1384 days to go.
所以我对别人说
Just so I say it to someone
高中比初中还糟糕
high school is even worse than middle school.
如果我父母问我
If my parents ask me about it,
也许我不会说实话
I probably won’t tell them the truth
因为我不想让他们担心我又犯病了
because I don’t want them to worry that I might get bad again.
如果海伦姨妈还在 我可以和她聊聊
If my Aunt Helen were still here, I could talk to her.
我想她应该能理解我为什么会又喜又悲