我与长指甲（1987）

[掌声]
[掌声]
我想喝杯茶, 你要不要也来一杯
I’m going for a cup of tea. Do you want one?
-你要喝茶吗, 长指甲？ -不用了
– Do you want a cup of tea, Withnail? – No.
一千三百万 伦敦人应该醒悟过来
Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this.
谋杀,抵抗和强♥奸♥？
The murder and all-bran and rape?
现在我坐在这该死的小木屋里, 我长指甲
And I’m sitting in this bloody shack, and I can’t cope with Withnail.
我一定是疯了
I must be out of my mind.
我必须马上回去, 好好谈谈他的问题
I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth.
我得知一些很令人沮丧的消息
I have some extremely distressing news.
我不要听, 我什么都不要听
I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear anything.
天哪,真是个噩梦, 真的！
My God, it’s a nightmare, let me tell you. It’s a nightmare.
我们把酒都喝完了, 下面该做什么呢
We’ve just run out of wine. What are we gonna do about it?
我不知道
I don’t know. I don’t know.
我觉得不舒服
Oh, God! I don’t feel good.
我的手指突然变得很奇怪！
My thumbs have gone weird!
我一定是吸食大♥麻♥过量了
I’m in the middle of a bloody overdose.
天哪！
Oh, God!
我的，心快跳出来了
My heart’s beating like a fucked clock!
我害怕极了, 真的,太可怕了！
I feel dreadful. I feel really dreadful.
我也怕, 大家都很害怕
So do I. So does everybody.
看看我的舌头
Look at my tongue.
就像灰黄色的短袜
Gray yellow sock.
看在上帝的份上, 坐下吧， 你怎么了
Sit down, for Christ’s sake. What’s the matter with you?
吃点糖
Eat some sugar.
听着, 超人的咒语
Listen to this. “Curse of the supermen.
“我吃了禁药所以获得了奖牌” 运动员杰夫沃德说道
“‘I took drugs to win medal,’ says top athlete Jeff Wode.
-咖啡在哪？ -在世界上最独家的访谈里
– Where’s the coffee? – “In a world exclusive interview,
33岁的铅球运动员杰夫沃德, 体重317磅
“33-year-old shot putter Jeff Wode, who weighs 317 pounds,
承认他服用了过量的类固醇
“admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids,
而这种药品是 竞技运动中禁止服用的
“drugs banned in sport.
“他过去脾气很差” 他妻子谈到
“‘He used to get in bad tempers,’ says his wife.
“过去他总是对我挑三捡四， 但现在不会了，”
“‘He used to pick on me. But now he’s stopped,
现在不管在性生活 还是在其他方面 它都变得好多了
he’s much better in our sex life and in our general life. “‘
天哪！ 这巨大的脑袋, 头发浓密…
Jesus Christ! This huge, thatched head…
还有他大大的耳垂, 完全不像正常人
with its earlobes and cannonball is not considered sane.
杰夫沃德现在感觉好一些了…
“Jeff Wode is feeling better…
现在打算退出体坛, 开始到处炫耀卖♥♥弄
and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about. ”
看看他！看看杰夫沃德！
Look at him! Look at Jeff Wode!
光他的头就有50磅重
His head must weigh 50 pounds on its own.
想象一下他的睾丸的大小
Imagine the size of his balls.
想象一下和这种混♥蛋♥打架
Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker.
拜托,我不舒服呢
Please, I don’t feel good.
那是你想说的， 但是那不是杰夫沃德的想法
That’s what you’d say. But that wouldn’t wash with Jeff.
不,他需要为自己辨解
No. He’d like a bit of pleading. Adds spice to it.
事实上,他可能告诉你了， 在他想做之前就告诉你 他打算做什么了
In fact, he’d probably tell you what he was gonna do before he did it.
我要把你的头扯下来
“I’m gonna pull your head off. ”
不,不要动我的头
“No, please don’t pull my head off. ”
我要把你的头扯下 因为我不喜欢你的头
“I’m gonna pull your head off because I don’t like your head. ”
你有汤？ 为什么我没有？
Have you got soup? Why didn’t I get any soup?
咖啡
Coffee.
为什么你不像 其他人一样用茶杯？
Why don’t you use a cup like any other human being?
为什么不像其他人 一样时不时洗洗澡？
Why don’t you wash up occasionally like any other human being?
你太大胆了！
How dare you! How dare you!
你胆子太大了！ 敢说我不人道！
How dare you call me inhumane!
我并没有说你不人道 都是你自己想出来的,镇静点
I didn’t call you inhumane. You merely imagined it. Calm down.
好,你这混♥蛋♥， 我要去洗澡了
Right, you fucker. I’m gonna do the washing up.
不,不,你不能去， 我肯定地说这不可能
No, no, you can’t. It’s impossible, I swear.
我已经弄明白了， 听我说！
I’ve looked into it. Listen to me! Listen to me!
那里有一个东西, 是一个茶包在长大
There are things in there. There’s a tea bag growing.
你已经60个小时没有睡觉了， 你头脑已经糊涂了
You haven’t slept in 60 hours. You’re in no state to tackle it.
等到早上, 我们一起出去
Wait till the morning. We’ll go in together.
现在就是早上了, 靠边站！
This is the morning! Stand aside!
你不明白！我想觉得 有某种生物生活在那里
You don’t understand! I think there may be something living in there.
我想可能还活着
I think there may be something alive.
-你什么意思？ 老鼠？ -有可能
– What do you mean? A rat? – It’s possible.
这样的话, 那个混♥蛋♥会一天都会后悔的
Then the fucker will rue the day.
天啊,我的主啊！ 尼古丁还有过期食物
Oh, Christ Almighty! A sinew in nicotine base.
离远点, 整个水池都要臭了
Keep back, keep back. The entire sink’s gone rotten.
我不知道这里面是什么
I don’t know what’s in here.
我告诉过你, 你会被咬到的！
I told you, you’ve been bitten!
烫到了！烫到了！ 那该死的水壶简直是着火了！
Burnt! Burnt! The fucking kettle’s on fire!
-有什么东西漂在上面, -叉死它！
– There’s something floating up. – Fork it!
-我,我,我不敢 -你一定要这样做！
– L-I-I don’t… – You must! You must!
壶嘴上的釉都烧没有了, 我们以后不能够再用它了
The poop will boil through the glaze. We’ll never be able to use our dinner service again.
用老虎钳吧
Here. Get it with the pliers.
不,不,不, 给我手套
No, no. No, no. Give me the gloves.
对了,戴上手套
That’s right. Put on the gloves.
不管做什么, 一定要戴上手套
Don’t attempt anything without the gloves.
-没错， -这是什么？ 你发现什么了？
– Ugh. – What is it? What have you found?
排泄物
Matter.
排泄物？ 它从哪里来的？
Matter? Where’s it coming from?
不要看， 我正在弄
Don’t look. I’m dealing with it.
我们在这呆的太久了
I think we’ve been in here too long.
我感觉不寻常， 我们最好还是出去吧
I feel unusual. I think we should go outside.
真滑稽， 看看我
This is ridiculous. Look at me.
转眼间,我就30了， 可我的鞋底还破了
I’m 30 in a month, and I’ve got a sole flapping off my shoe.
一切都会好起来的
It will get better. It has to.
亲爱的,说起来简单， 你准备要参加试演了
Easy for you to say, lovey. You’ve had an audition.
为什么我不能 得到试演的机会？
Why can’t I have an audition?
真荒谬, 我曾经念过艺术学校， 我长得还不错
It’s ridiculous. I’ve been to drama school. I’m good-looking.
我告诉你,我比电视上 那些垃圾编导有才华多了
I tell you, I’ve a fuck sight more talent than half the rubbish that gets on television.
为什么我不能上电视？
Why can’t I get on television?
我不知道, 可能以后会发生啊
I don’t know. It’ll happen.
是吗？ 不过那只是你说的
Will it? That’s what you say.
我唯一想做的节目 就是那混♥蛋♥新闻节目
The only program I’m likely to get on is the fucking news.
我跟你说,我受不了了
I tell you, I can’t take much more of this.
-我要疯了， -我们都在同一条船上
– I’m gonna crack. – I’m in the same boat.
是啊
Yeah, yeah.
我感觉很不舒服
I feel as sick as a pike.
我要坐下休息一下
I’m gonna have to sit down.
你知道我们应该要做什么吗？
You know what we should do?
你知道我们应该要做什么吗？
I say, you know what we should do?
我怎么会知道？
How can I possibly know what we should do?
-我们应该做什么？ -暂时不要想
– What should we do? – Get out of it for a while.
去乡村,放松自己, 会让你精神焕发
Get into the countryside, rejuvenate.
精神焕发？ 我现在在公园里, 基本上像个死人一样
Rejuvenate? I’m in a park, and I’m practically dead.
乡村有什么？
What good’s the countryside?
-现在几点？ -8点了
– What time is it? – It’s 8:00.
还有4个小时就要开门了 上帝救救我们
Four hours till opening time. God help us.
有没有止痛剂？
Have we got any embrocation?
-用来干什么？ -涂在身上,笨蛋
– What for? – To rub on us, you fool.
这可以让我们保护我们 不被高温伤害, 还可以保护我们不受辐射伤害
We can cover ourselves in Deep Heat and get up against the radiator,
在12点之前我们都不会死
keep ourselves alive till 12:00.
上帝,看看啊！
Jesus, look at that!
除了生马铃薯, 那是在过去60个小时之内…
Apart from a raw potato, that’s the only solid…
我吃过的唯一固体食物
to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours.
我一定是生病了
I must be ill.
就算是一个停止不动的手表 每天都会准确报时两次
Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day.
只有一次, 我认为长指甲是正确的
And for once, I’m inclined to believe that Withnail is right.
其实,我们漂流到 一个病态的地方
We are, indeed, drifting into the arena of the unwell,
跟我们自己的未来对抗
making an enemy of our own future.
我们需要的是和谐
What we need is harmony,
新鲜的空气, 类似那样的东西
fresh air, stuff like that.
在水槽里面没有很多有用的东西 没有给你留下任何东西
Wasn’t much in the tube. Nothing left for you.
为什么你不跟你父亲拿钱？
Why don’t you ask your father for some money?
如果我们有钱, 我们就可以离开这里
If we had some money, we could go away.
为什么你不去跟你父亲拿钱？ 这里怎么会这么的冷？
Why don’t you ask your father? How can it be so cold in here?
这里就像格陵兰
Like Greenland in here.
我们要喝些酒， 是现在这个时候 抵抗寒冷的唯一方法
We’ve got to get some booze. It’s the only solution for this intense cold.
必须做点事情, 我们不能这样子！
Something’s got to be done. We can’t go on like this!