神采公路（2002）

有一个说法：
There’s this theory.
假设时空不限 任何事都可能
Given an infinite universe
and infinite time,
任何事都属必然
all things will happen.
包括不可能的事
That means that every
event is inevitable
including those
that are impossible.
我要说的故事正是如此
That’s as good explanation
for all this as anything else.
很多故事是酒吧流传的
Now, a lot of stories
start in bars,
这个也是
so that’s where we are
going to stars this one.
虽然我不在场
Not because that I
was there, I wasn’t.
但这是个好点子
介绍这位传奇人物出场
But because it is a
damn good introduction
to a very unique, fellow.
许多文明古国的传说
– Legends of every major
culture all contain
都有个人物帮人达成愿望
some sort of character whose
purpose is to grand wishes.
美国就没
Except Americas.
阿♥拉♥伯有神灯 爱尔兰有瘦妖精
The Arabs have jinni’s.
The Irish have leprechauns.
中国有龙 猴子
The Chinese have
dragons and monkeys.
欧洲有仙子 树精 我们呢？
The Europeans have
fairies and wood sprits.
But who do we have?
圣诞老人？
– Santa Claus?
他只送礼物 没帮人如愿
– Santa Claus just
brings presents.
He doesn’t grand wishes.
撒旦让人如愿
– Satan. He grants wishes.
他跟人谈条件 不是帮人如愿
– Zack, Satan predate
American culture.
He doesn’t grand
wishes, he makes deals.
我放弃！到底是谁？
– All right, I give up.
What do we have here?
– No one.
我们没有
这就是我的论文
That’s my thesis.
美国没有神话 所以很独特
Our culture is unique in
having no such mythology and–
你错了 朋友
– Oh, you’re wrong my friend.
对不起！
– Excuse me?
美国有帮人如愿的人
– There is a fella in
America, who grants wishes.
但只给一次机会
And only one to a customer.
这位人物是谁？
– And who is this fella?
管如愿先生
– O.W. Grant.
但他还有其他名字
That’s his usual name.
He’s got many others.
他捉摸不定 妖精都是这样
And he’s an elusive
son of a bitch.
You’d get easier
time finding a jinni.
我们怎么都没听过他？
– So how come, we’ve never
heard of this O.W. Grant?
因为美国历史
– You haven’t heard O.W.
Grant, ’cause America
比爱尔兰 阿♥拉♥伯都短
is a much younger place
than Ireland or Arabia.
还没太多人见过他
Not too many people have had
the chance to meet up with him.
我猜猜…你见过？
– Let me guess. You have.
在60号♥州际公路
– I met him out
at Interstate 60.
这是他的方式
Accidentally, that’s his way.
他找人 不是人找他
Folks don’t find
him, he finds them.
人们不知他是谁 要做什么
He just kinda happens in to
them, and they don’t know who
he is or what he does
until he does it.
直到他做完了
他爱捉弄人 他喜欢这样
And mostly he messes
with them, plays tricks,
’cause that’s his way
too, but sometimes,
但有时候 若他喜欢你
if he takes a shine to you,
he’ll play it straight.
也会对你好
传说他爸是个老瘦妖
Now, one story says that
his daddy was a leprechaun,
跟着爱尔兰人来美国
came over here with Irish.
这小侏儒是个好色鬼
Now, midgets are
notorious skirt chasers.
搞上一个夏安族印地安
This leprechaun goes and
knocks up a Cheyenne Indian.
夏安族土地被占
Cheyenne get the land
taken away in the end up
生下一个有魔法的混血流浪儿
with the immortal, nomadic
half-breed with magical powers.
你说60号♥州际公路？
– Interstate 60, you said?
– Hmmm?
这位管如愿长什么样？
– So, what does
this O.W. Grant look like?
打红领结 叼着猴头烟斗
– Red bow tie.
He smokes a pipe, carved
in the image of a monkey.
你论文还是别提到管如愿
Maybe you’d be better
of writing your
thesis without mentioning O.W.
他不喜欢人们认识他
He’d probable rather not have
people knowing about him.
没问题
晚安
– You got it.
– Good night.
昆西 看！根本没60州际公路
– Hey Quincy, check this out.
There is no Interstate 60.
有65 6♥4♥ 66 69
I-65, 6♥4♥, 66, and 69.
没有60号♥
No I-60.
就当今晚是吹牛大会吧！
– I guess tonight’s
everybody’s full-of-shit night.
抽猴头烟斗的 帮人如愿？
Guy with a red bow tie and a
monkey pipe, who grants wishes.
Right.
帮个忙吧！
– No, damn it, look,
不！12点前要搞定这价钱！
I need, that bid in before 12.
对 很重要！
Yeah it’s critical, just.
好！打给魏斯！
Right, call West.
我的天！
Holy shit!
下巴断了
– You broke the jaw.
抱歉 我没看到你
– I’m sorry mister,
I didn’t see you.
你没事吧？来！
Are, are you OK come on?
你没事吧？
Are you all right?
天哪！
– Jesus.
– Don’t! Stop!
完了！
– Oh man!
我的单车！
My bike!
抱歉 我赔你…
– Look, I’m sorry. I’ll pay.
该死！
Oh goddammit!
该死 我的西装！妈的！
Oh goddammit, look at my suit.
干！
Oh shit…
Oh fuck.
11点要开业务会
I’ve got a sales
meeting at 11 o’clock.
简直是灾难！
This is a fucking disaster.
电♥话♥是我的生命线
My phone is my
fucking life line.
该死
Goddammit.
事出必有因！
– Oh I say everything
happens for a reason.
我呢！只需要一辆新单车
May I guess, I just
needed a new bike.
我才不要这烂单车！
– I, for one, did not
need this shit in my life.
干嘛非今天出这种事！
Not today. Of all fucking days!
Goddammit, I wish, this
had never happened!
真希望别发生这种事
真希望不要发生！不要
I wish, it hadn’t happened,
I wish, it hadn’t happened!
这是你的愿望？不要发生这事？
– Was that your wish?
If you had a wish, you
wished, this hadn’t happened?
妈的没错！
Fucking-A right!
我答应你 贝先生！
– Granted!
Mr. Baker.
你怎知道我姓贝？
– How did you know my name?
12点前要搞定这价钱！
Damn it, I need the
bid in before 12.
对 很重要！
Yeah it’s critical.
打给魏斯
Look, just call