模范贱兄弟 Role Models（2008）

谢谢款待
Thanks for everything.
猜猜我昨晚干什么了
Guess what I did last night.
伙计 得了吧
Dude!
我们来反转西部学园
Now let’s rock westside academy!
尝尝红牛饮料
Taste the beast!
你想干什么都可以
You can do anything you want in life
只要你不碰毒品
As long as you stay away from drugs.
人为何会试用非法药物呢
Why would a person use illegal drugs?
原因众多
Many reasons.
也许是为了打入新的朋友圈子
Maybe they’re trying to fit in with a new group of friends.
也许由于好奇心
Maybe they’re curious.
也许因为日子乏味
Maybe they’re just bored.
无论出于何种原因
But whatever the reason,
有人向你提供毒品时
What should you say when someone offers you drugs?
你应该说 不用了 我有红牛饮料
Say, “no, thanks. I’ll have a minotaur. ”
远离毒品 红牛饮料
Stay off drugs! minotaur!
谢谢 牛头人
Thank you, minotaur man.
这身打扮拉风啊 同性恋
Hey! nice cow outfit, homo.
上哪弄来那身衣服 同志动物园吗
Where can I pick one of those up, the gay zoo?
不不 这不是奶牛
Oh, no. it’s not a… it’s not a cow.
是牛头人
It’s a minotaur.
神话传说里的怪物
It’s a creature of myth,
还有 这身衣服从你老母的衣柜拿的
And he got this one out of your mom’s closet.
我♥操♥了她之后 她送我的
She let me keep it after I fucked her.
毒品有害健康 能量饮料有益
Drugs are bad. energy drinks, good.
如果你们想尝尝鲜 请自便
So whenever you’d like to taste one, help yourselves.
每卖♥♥出一瓶饮料 红牛将向抵♥制♥毒品基金会
And for every can sold, minotaur will make a donation
捐赠一份爱心
To the keep kids off drugs foundation.
天啊 这身衣服像馊掉的马铃薯
God, this suit smells like tater tots.
我知道你需要什么
Yeah, I know what you need.
基斯乐队 你开什么玩笑
Kiss? are you kidding? no. god.
我喜欢基斯乐队
I love kiss.
没人会喜欢基斯乐队
No one loves kiss.
保罗·斯坦利都恶心基斯乐队
Paul Stanley is sick of kiss.
别扼杀明日之星
Whoa! don’t dis the starchild.
别以为我老土了
Hey, don’t get me wrong, all right?
我也喜欢整夜摇滚 喜欢夜夜笙歌♥
I like to “rock ‘n’ roll all night and part of every day!”
夜夜笙歌♥ 整夜摇滚 夜夜笙歌♥吗
Party every day. “rock ‘n’ roll all night and party every day!”
我就是喜欢摇滚 夜夜笙歌♥
I like to rock ‘n’ roll part of every day. party every day.
我以前的职业 -夜夜笙歌♥
I usually have errands. – party.
和摇滚有关的 凌晨1到3点的兼♥职♥ -你需要狂欢了
I can rock ‘n’ roll from, like, 1:00 to 3:00. – you need to party.
大家好 过的开心吗
Hey, guys. how’s it going?
当有人想你提供非法药物 你该怎么回答呢
When someone offers you some illegal drugs, what do you say?
该说 不必了 谢谢 我有红牛饮料
You say, “no, thanks. I’ll just have a minotaur. ”
我经常喝这些饮料
I’ve had so many of these things.
不是骗你们哦
I’m not kidding.
喝到尿急了 厕所在哪里
I may wet my pants. where’s the bathroom?
偶滴神啊
Holy shit.
这是怪物史莱克的尿吗
Dude, this is like shrek’s piss.
谨记 远离毒品 引用红牛
So remember, stay off drugs, drink minotaur and above all…
尝尝红牛饮料
Taste the beast!
知道这份工作的好处吗
You know what’s great about this job?
你是说一无是处吗
You mean, besides nothing?
我们正在改善世界
We’re making the world a better place.
怎么改善
How?
为孩子们提供能量饮品 劝他们远离毒品
You know, giving the kids an energy boost to stay off drugs.
我们以6美元一汀的价格出♥售♥马尿
We’re selling them nuclear horse piss for 6 bucks a can.
你真能安慰人 -感觉好多了吧
What an accomplishment.- feels good, doesn’t it?
还有一个好处 可以宿醉
Easy to do hung-over.
我愿意永远干这活
I could do this job forever.
如果要永远干这工作 我死了算了
If I had to do this job forever, I’d put a bullet in my head.
老哥 启动商用表情
Game face, bro.
惊喜
Surprise!
吓到你了吧 吓到你了
Got you, man! got you!
周♥年♥庆♥快乐 你猜到了吗
Happy anniversary! did you know?
没想到
No.
太棒了 这样才惊喜
All right. that was good!
天啊 你也来了
Oh, my god. you’re here.
惠勒打电♥话♥给我
Wheeler called me. hi.
怎么没给我个预告
Thank you for warning me.
我想告诉他们 你不喜欢惊喜
Hey, I tried to tell them you don’t like surprises,
但他们想为你庆祝
But they really wanted to celebrate your milestone.
红牛饮料怎么样
What’s up, mino-tards?
怎么样啊 惠勒
What’s up, Wheeler?
看看我的大家伙
My dick!
大家伙
“my dick!”
现在是为我最好的朋友丹尼庆祝
Everybody, we’re here to celebrate my best friend, Danny!
只是工作伙伴 不是最好的朋友
We just work together. not “best friend. ”
有点礼貌
Be nice.
丹尼在这里工作了10年
Danny’s been working here 10 years!
十年的理想生活
That’s almost a decade of living the dream.
你是真男人 丹尼
You’re the man, danny!
我要和你白头偕老 丹尼
I want to grow old with you, Danny.
衷心希望 我们的余生
Hopefully, we’ll be tasting the beast
都在共同品尝红牛中度过
For the rest of our lives together!
每日清晨 太阳升起
It’s early morning the sun come out
昨夜的抖动和喧嚣
Last night was shaking and pretty loud
简直是噩梦
This is a nightmare.
别这样 我请了下午的假
Come on. I took the afternoon off.
蛋糕在那 我们尽情玩吧
There’s cake! let’s try and enjoy ourselves.
有请 制图部的米奇
Mitch from Graphics, take over!
上吧 -我们也玩吧
Do it!- let’s go next!
一定很有趣 -不要
Come on.- it’ll be fun. no.
为什么不玩 来吧 我们表演二重唱
Why not? come on. we’ll do a duet!
在大庭广众之下
Getting up in front of a group of people
上台表演唱歌♥ 我可不觉得好玩
And singing is not my idea of fun. all right?
这是耻辱
It’s humiliating.
我来唱
I’m gonna sing.
丹尼
Danny?
你怎么了
What is your problem?
很抱歉
Look, I’m sorry, all right?
但我不是惠勒 满足于这份愚蠢的工作
I’m not Wheeler, happy in some brainless job,
没有人生目标 没野心
No goals, no ambition.
你根本不知道惠勒的心情
Hey, you don’t know how wheeler feels.
他和你一样讨厌这份工作
For all you know, he hates his job as much as you do.
我爱死这工作了
I love this job!
惠勒 她正尝你的小野兽呢
Hey, wheeler! she’s tasting your beast!
早上好 请问点什么
Good morning. can I take your order?
我要大杯混合茶
Can I get a tall chai?
还有大份黑咖啡
And a large black coffee.
一份什么
A what?
大份黑咖啡
Large black coffee.
你是说大杯吗
Do you mean a venti?
不 我要大份的
No, I mean a large.
他就是要大杯 最大杯的
He means a venti. yeah, the biggest one you’ve got.
大杯的就很大份
Venti is large.
不 大杯容量是20
No. venti is 20.
丹尼
Danny.
大份的是大份的 大号♥的也是大份的
Yeah. “large” is large. in fact, “tall” is large.
大份的西班牙语是Grande
And grande is spanish for large.
大杯并不表示大份
Venti is the only one that doesn’t mean large.
大杯是意大利语
It’s also the only one that’s italian.
祝贺你 你对语言一窍不通
Congratulations! you’re stupid in three languages.
老兄 大杯就是大份咖啡
Look, dick. venti is a large coffee.
是吗 谁说的 费里尼吗
Really? says who? fellini?
多少钱 给你10美元
How much is that? here’s a 10.
你们收里拉币或者欧元吗
Do you accept lira, or is it all euros now?
你留着零钱当小费吧
You know what, just keep the change.
别闹 丹尼 你知道他们对咖啡的叫法
Jesus, dan. you know what they call the sizes here.
你一直找别人的茬
You know what, you’ve been picking fights with everybody.