Friends Season 1 Episode 22 : The one with the Birth.

老友记第1季第22集: 本出生。

Ross: She’s not here yet. She’s not here. She’s having my baby and she’s not here.
她还没来。她不在这儿。她要生我的孩子了她却不在这儿。
Monica: I’m sure everything’s fine. Has her water broken yet?
我确定一切都好。她的羊水破了吗?
Ross: I don’t know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
我不知道，但是我和她通话时她说已经通过了粘液塞。
Joey: Do we have to know about that?
我们需要知道这些么？
Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?
Joey，你有小孩时你要怎么做？
Joey: I’m gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars.
我会在等候室拿出雪茄来。
Chandler: Yes, Joey’s made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50’s.
是的，Joey安排了在50年代的电影生小孩。
Ross: God, I don’t believe this. I mean she could be giving birth in the cab.
天啊，我不敢相信。我是说，她可能会在计程车中生产。
Rachel: Oh, Ross, relax. It’s probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction…
哦Ross，冷静点。第一次宫缩收费两块钱，之后每收缩一次额外收五毛钱。
Rachel: What, it’s ok when Chandler does it?
怎么了？Chandler这样说的时候就没事。
Chandler: You have to pick your moments.
你得选对时间。
Phoebe: Hi! Did I miss it, did I miss it?
嗨！我错过了吗？我错过了吗？
Ross: No, she’s not even here yet.
没有，她根本还没来。
Phoebe: Oh!
哦！
Monica: What’s with the guitar?
干嘛带着吉他？
Phoebe: I just thought we might be here for a while. You know, things might get musical.
我就是觉得我们会在这儿待一阵子。你懂的，来点音乐。
Ross: Where the hell have you been?
你到底上哪儿去了？
Susan: We stopped at the gift shop.
我们去了一下礼品店。
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
我想买填充动物玩具，Susan想买”胖墩儿”。
Ross: Oh, Susan wanted a Chunky. We’re having a baby, ok, a baby, you don’t stop for Chunkys.
哦，Susan想买”胖墩儿”。我们要有孩子了，好么，一个孩子，你不能在这时候去买”胖墩儿”。
Chandler: I used to have that bumper sticker.
注释：bumper：汽车保险杠。
我过去有”胖墩儿”汽车贴纸。
Chandler: You see what I mean.
懂我的意思了吧。
Ross: Stopped for a Chunky.
去买”胖墩儿”了。
Carol: Let it go, Ross.
别想了Ross。
Susan: I got an extra one. You want this?
我多买了一个。你要么？
Ross: No.
不要。
Doctor: Hey, how’s my favorite parenting team doing?
嘿，我最喜欢的父母团队好么？
Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi.
Franzblau医生，嗨。
Doctor: So, I understand you’re thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you’re nine months pregnant. That’s a good start. How you doing with your contractions?
那么，你们考虑生个孩子？好的，我了解你已怀胎九月。这是个好的开始。宫缩情况如何？
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one’s like a little party in my uterus.
哦，我爱死了。每一次都像是子♥ 宫中的小派对。
Susan: They’re every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
每4分钟一次，持续55秒。
Ross: 59 seconds. Quartz, ha!
9秒。石英表，哈！
Susan: Swiss quartz, ha ha!
瑞士石英表，哈哈！
Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?
我能喝饮料吗？
Doctor: Ice chips, just ice chips. They’re at the nurses’ station.
碎冰，只能喝碎冰。护士站有。
Ross: I’ll get it.
我去拿。
Susan: No, I’m getting it. I’ll be right back.
不，我去拿。我马上就回来。
Ross: I got it. I’m getting it!
我去。我去拿！
Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.
嗨，我想你可能想喝点碎冰。
Carol: Thanks.
谢谢。
Rachel: And if you need anything else, I…do not believe we’ve met. Hi! I’m, uh, Rachel Green. I’m Carol’s… exhusband’s… sister’s roommate.
如果你还想要别的，我……觉得我们没见过吧？我是，呃，Rachel Green。我是Carol的前任丈夫妹妹的室友。
Doctor: It is nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Franzblau. I’m your roommate’s… brother’s… exwife’s obstetrician.
幸会。我是Franzblau医生。我是你室友哥哥前妻的产科医生。
Rachel: Oh, that’s funny!
哦真有趣！
Monica: I want a baby.
我想要个孩子。
Chandler: Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
嗯，今晚不行，亲爱的。我明天得早起。
Monica: Get up. Come on. Let’s get some coffee.
起来，走吧，我们去买咖啡。
Chandler: Oh, ok, cause we never do that.
好吧，因为我们没做过这个。
Joey: Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot… or just fall down. That’s good too.
投球！投球！投球！投球……或者摔倒了。那样也挺好。
Lydia: Knick fan?
Knick球迷？
Joey: Oh, yeah.
哦是的。
Lydia: Oh, boy, do they suck.
哦，天，他们糟透了。
Joey: Hey, listen, lady..whoa.
嘿，听着女士……哇。
Lydia: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot.
看，看看你支持的队员，Ewing。投的真不错。
Lydia: You know what, he couldn’t hit water if he was standing on a boat.
你知道么，他站在船上都不能投中水面。
Joey: Oh yeah? And who do you like?
哦是么？你喜欢哪队？
Lydia: Celtics.
Celtics。
Joey: Celtics? Ha. They couldn’t hit a boat if…wait. They suck, alright?
Celtics？哈。他们都不能投中船就算……等等。他们很烂好吧？
Lydia: Oh, shut up. You know, it’s a rebuilding year. You… waah!
哦闭嘴。你知道，今年是重建年。你……哇！
Joey: Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father!
怎么……怎么了？我去把孩子的爸爸叫来。嘿，这儿需要个爸爸！我们需要个爸爸！
Lydia: There is no father.
孩子的爸爸没来。
Joey: Oh, sorry.
哦抱歉。
Lydia: Ok, that’s ok. I’m fine. I’m… oh!
没关系。我很好。我……哦！
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be going in here.
哦，嗯，没事。这边走。所有的孕妇好像都往这儿走。
Lydia: Ok.
好。
Phoebe: They’re tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch, and soon they’ll grow up and resent you so much. Now they’re yelling at you and you don’t know why, you cry and you cry and you cry. And you cry and you cry and you cry… Thanks, Ross.
他们又小又肉摸起来感觉很好，不久他们长大后就会开始恨你。然后他们对你大吼大叫，你不知道为什么，你只能哭啊哭啊哭啊。你哭啊哭啊哭啊……谢谢你Ross。
Ross: Yeah. I’m paying you to stop. OK?
对，我买你别唱了，好吧？
Phoebe: OK.
好吧。
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
哦看，是双胞胎。嗨宝宝们。哦可爱可爱。
Monica: No fair. I don’t even have one. How come they get two?
不公平。我一个都没有，他们怎么有两个？
Chandler: You’ll get one.
你也会有的。
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
哦真的？什么时候？
Chandler: All right. I’ll tell you what. When we’re 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
好吧。告诉你，我们40岁时如果都还单身，我们就一起生一个怎么样？
Monica: Why won’t I be married when I’m 40?
我怎么就40岁时还单身？
Chandler: Oh, no, no. No, I just meant hypothetically.
哦不不不，我是说假设。
Monica: OK, hypothetically, why won’t I be married when I’m 40?
好吧，假设来说，我怎么就40岁时还单身？
Chandler: No, no, no.
不不不。
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
怎么回事？我从根本上就有不能结婚的毛病么？
Chandler: Uh, uh.
呃，呃。
Monica: Well?
说啊？
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack!
天啊！这个降落伞是个背包！
Rachel: Hey.
嘿。
Phoebe: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressydress.
嘿，哦，看看你，盛装登场。
Monica: Did you go home and change?
你回家换衣服了？
Rachel: Yeah, well, it’s an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has Dr. Franzblau been by?
是啊，就是，今天是个重要的日子。我想穿漂亮一点。嗯，Franzblau医生在这儿么？
Monica: No, I haven’t seen him.
不在，我还没见到他。
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. What if the baby needs him?
那他在哪儿？他应该在这儿的。万一小孩需要他怎么办？
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Rachel，你怎么总和医生纠缠不清，难道你爸爸是个医生？
Rachel: Yeah, why?
对啊，怎么了？
Chandler: No reason.
没什么。
Lydia: Mom, we’ve been through this. No, I am not calling him. I don’t care if it is his kid, the guy’s a jerk.
妈妈，我们能顺利度过的。不，我不会打给他。我不管这是不是他的孩子，他是个大浑蛋。
Lydia: No, I’m not alone. Joey’s here.
不，我不是一个人。Joey在这儿。
Lydia: What do you mean, Joey who?
什么意思？Joey是谁？
Joey: Tribbiani.
我姓Tribbiani。
Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes. OK. Hold on.
Joey Tribbiani。是的，好吧，等一下。
Lydia: She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.
她要和你说话。接电话。
Joey: Hi, yeah, it’s me. Oh, no no no, we’re just friends. Yeah, I’m single. Twenty five. An actor. Hello?
嗨，对，是我。哦不不不，我们只是朋友。对，我单身。25岁。演员。您好？

老友记.本章节注释

注释：bumper：汽车保险杠。