Friends Episode 15 Season 1: The one with the Stoned Guy.

老友记第1季第15集: ♥ 大♥ 麻♥ 客。

Rachel: Coffee.
咖啡。
Joey: Thank you.
谢谢。
Rachel: Cappuccino.
卡布其诺。
Ross: Merci.
谢谢（法语）。
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica.
Monica的热苹果酒。
Monica: Aww, thank you. Uh Rach?
噢，谢谢。瑞秋？！
Rachel: Yeah?
怎么了？
Monica: Why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser?
Rachel为何我的肉桂棒上有橡皮擦？
Rachel: Oh! That’s why. Sorry.
这就是原因，对不起！
Woman: Chandler?
钱德勒？
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You’re looking lovely today. May I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you?
Tedlock小姐，你今天真漂亮！我能说这件衣服的袖长真适合你吗？
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
当然。Kostelick先生希望你在下班后能到他办公室去。
Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really. Nothing. And frankly, I don’t think those kind of shenanigans have place in an office environment.
注释：shenanigan：恶作剧，诡计。
如果他是为搞笑备忘录的话，不是我♥ 干的，真的不是我。坦白地说，我认为办公室里没有地方容纳这些恶作剧。
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler’s coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know… Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
各位，Chandler来了，说他有天大好的消息。他来的时候，我们可以……你们知道的……算了，但一定是好消息。
Ross: What’s going on?
到底怎么了？
All: What is it?
是什么好消息？
Chandler: So, it’s a typical day at work. I’m inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
今天和平常没什么两样，我在输人数字时，艾尔叫我到他办公室，说他要我当运行主管。
All: That is great!
真是太好了！
Oh, my God. Congratulations!
噢，天呐，恭喜！
Chandler: So…. I quit.
所以我就辞职了。
All: Why?
为什么？
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job!
为什么？这个工作本该只是个临时工作！
Monica: Yeah, Chandler…you’ve been there for five years.
Chandler，你已在公司五年了。
Chandler: If I took this promotion, it would be like admitting that this is what I actually do.
我知道，但接受升职不就承认这就是我的正式工作。
Joey: Oh, man, does that mean we have to start buying our own toilet paper?
这是不是意味着我们必须自己开始买手纸？
Ross: That was Joey Tribbiani with the big picture, Dan?
这就是Joey的大格局，Dan？
Monica: So was it a lot more money?
这那不是能赚更多钱？
Chandler: It doesn’t matter. I just don’t want to be one of those guys that’s in his office until twelve o’clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
我不在乎，我不想成为坐在办公室到午夜，担心”WENUS”的人。
Rachel:…the WENUS?
担心WENUS？
Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term. .
“每周估算网络使用系统”。这是电脑处理的术语。
Rachel: Oh. That WENUS.
那个啊！
Joey: So what’re you going to do?
所以你是想怎么做？
Chandler: I don’t know. That’s the thing. I don’t know what I want to do. I just know I’m not going to figure it out working there.
我不知道，我也不知道该怎么办，我只知道我不会再待在那儿工作了！
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client… Steve. Anyway, he’s opening up a restaurant and he’s looking for a head chef.
我有一份你可以做的工作。我的新按♥ 摩客户Steve，他开了一家餐厅，他正在寻找总厨师。
Monica: Hi, there.
你好。
Phoebe: Hi.
你好。
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, yeah, no, I know. You’re a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um… Chandler’s the one who needs a job right now, so….
我知道你是个厨师，而且我先想到你，但是……但钱德目前需要工作所以……
Chandler: Yeah…I just don’t have a lot of chefing experience. Unless it’s an all-toast restaurant.
我没有太多厨师的经验，除非那是一家只卖吐司的餐厅。
Monica: What, what kind of food is he looking for?
他想要什么菜色？
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do something eclectic, so he’s looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
注释：eclectic：折衷的，选择的，包含的。
他想要菜色丰富多变，因此他在找一个能创造出整个菜单的人。
Monica: Oh my God!
哦，天啊！
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! So, what do you think?
对，我知道。意下如何？
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don’t really see myself in a big white hat.
谢了，我只是觉得自己当不了厨师。
Phoebe: OK. Oh Monica! Guess what?
好吧。噢，Monica，你猜怎么着？
TV: A perfect run-up and there he goes, a perfect……
一个完美的积累，然后就自然而然出现了，完美的…
Ross: Watch something like this and you realize why evolution is just a theory.
看看这个，你就知道为什么进化仅仅是理论上的事情。
Chandler: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
你能透过衬衫看见我的乳♥ 头吗？
Rachel: No. But don’t worry, I’m sure they’re still there.
看不见，但别担心，它们还在。
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. SuityMan?
你要上哪儿去，西装笔挺先生？
Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor agogo. I added the “agogo.”
我和agogo求职顾问罗伯提曼博士有约，我加入了agogo。
Rachel: Career counselor?
求职顾问？
Chandler: Hey, you guys all know what you want to do.
你们都知道自己想要做什么。
Rachel: I don’t!
我不知道！
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don’t have a dream.
在客厅里的各位全都找到人生方向。你们有目标，有梦想，但我却没有梦想。
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known “I don’t have a dream” speech.
少见的”我没有梦想”演说。
Monica: Oh, I love my life, I love my life!
我爱我的人生，我爱我的人生！
Phoebe: Ooh! Brian’s Song!
喔！布莱恩的歌！
Rachel: The meeting with the guy went great?
见面的结果好吗？
Monica: So great! He showed me where the restaurant’s going to be. It’s this, it’s this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, it’s not too small. It’s just right.
相当顺利。他给我看了未来餐厅的位置。就在第十街上的小巧的一个地方。不太大也不太小，大小适中！
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
前任老板是金发女人和几只熊吗？
Monica: So anyway, I’m cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ and make yummy noises.
总之周一我们要煮一餐让他品尝，有点像是面试。菲比，他也要你在场，这样对我有利！因为你可以发出好吃的赞叹声！
Rachel: What are you going to make?
你打算做什么？
Phoebe: Yummy noises. And Monica, what are you going to make?
发出好吃的声音。摩妮卡，你要做什么菜？
Monica: I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s just going to be so great!
我不知道，我不知道，但一定会很棒的。
Phoebe: Oh, I know what you can make! I know! Oh, you should make that thing, you know, with the stuff. You know that thing with the stuff? Okay, I don’t know.
我知道你可以做什么了！ 我知道！你应该用那些东西做这个。你知道用那些东西做的这个？好吧，我也不知道。
Ross: Hey, guys, does anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood?
各位，谁知道附近有约会的绝佳地点？
Joey: How about Tony’s? If you finish a 32ounce steak, it’s free.
东尼餐厅如何？吃下32盎斯的牛排就免♥ 费。
Ross: OK, hey, does anyone know a good place if you’re not dating a puma?
谁知道哪儿有不是跟美洲狮约会的好地方？
Chandler: Who are you going out with?
你要和谁约会？
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
是昆虫女？
Rachel: “I love you, Ross.”
“我爱你，罗斯”。
Ross: Her name is Celia and she’s not a bug lady, she’s a curator of insects at the museum.
她叫希莉亚，不是昆虫女， 她是昆虫博物馆的馆长。
Monica: So what are you guys gonna do?
你们打算如何共渡？
Ross: I just thought we go out to dinner, then, maybe bring her back to my place and introduce her to my monkey.
出去吃晚餐，然后带她回我的住处，介绍我的猴子给她认识。
Chandler: And he’s not speaking metaphorically.
他没用比喻。
Joey: So back to your place? You thinking maybe….
回你的住处？你想……
Ross: Well, I don’t know….I mean, I’m hoping….
我不知道……我希望……
Joey: I’m telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet. She’s gonna take one look at his furry, cute, little face and it’ll seal the deal.
告诉你，那猴子魅力十足。她看见它那毛绒绒可爱的小脸 ，然后一切就搞定。
Ross: Celia, don’t worry. He’s not gonna hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia, soothing tones. OK. I’m sorry, I’m sorry .Here, Marcel.
希莉亚，别担心，它不会伤害你的。用安抚的语调，希莉亚，安抚的语调。好的，对不起，对不起。过来，马修。
Celia: I can’t stand this. He’s got his claws on my.
我受不了了。它的爪子在我的……
Yeah, all right.
好，好了。
Monica: Okay, try this salmon mousse.
试试这鲑鱼慕斯。
Joey: Good.
好吃。
Monica: Yeah? Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
比其他的鲑鱼慕斯好吃？
Joey: It’s creamier.
更滑更柔。
Monica: Yeah? Well, is that better?
是吗？这样更好？
Joey: I don’t know. We’re talking about whipped fish, Monica. I’m just happy I’m keeping it down.
我不知道。我们在谈一条搅成泡沫的鱼。我能不吐出来就已经不错了。

老友记.本章节注释

shenanigan：恶作剧，诡计。
eclectic：折衷的，选择的，包含的。