8位机圣诞（2021）

我的钱包在我的车里
My wallet’s in my car.
你想让我…
You want me to…
把我的车铲出来
Shovel my car out, so I can get to it.
我就能拿到了 那就好了
That would be great.
我去拿铲子
Oh, I’ll get the shovel.
费米实验室的兆电子伏特加速器
Jeff The Tevatron particle accelerator at Fermilabs
很多媒体争相报道
they get more headlines.
如果你要问我
But if you ask me…
the most valuable local
我们至今依然拥有的
本地最有价值的资源
resource we still have today
是我们的老师
are our teachers.
圣诞快乐 道尔太太
Merry Christmas, Mrs. Doyle.
圣诞快乐 杰夫
Merry Christmas, Jeff.
祝你天天美丽 凯西
Stay beautiful, Kath.
她说我让她想起了你
She said I reminded her of you.
再见 杰克
See you later, Jake.
非得是法默吗？
Did it have to be Farmer?
他给我开了一个很诚恳的价
He offered me an honest deal at an honest price.
他谎话连篇！
There’s nothing honest about him!
他是一个病态的骗子！
He’s a pathological liar!
我觉得他是一个很好的男孩
Oh, I thought he was a really nice boy.
那些是给你妈妈的
Those are for your mother.
我妈会希望我尝一个
My mom would want me to have one.
我都不知道你今年在卖♥♥花环
I didn’t even know that you were selling wreaths this year.
他是因为奖品才在乎的
He only cares about it now becau
se they’re giving away a Nin
他们今年的奖品是…
芝加哥之夜
Night in Chicago.
对 那是新奖品
Yep. That’s a new prize.
在酒店 我想是在市中心
At a hotel, I think, in downtown?
这个奖品
Kathy That’s a
对一个11岁的孩子来说很奇特
peculiar prize for an 11yearold.
是很奇特
That is a peculiar prize.
你不觉得奇特吗 爸爸？
Don’t you think that’s peculiar, Dad?
上帝啊 它到底在哪？
God bless it. Where the hell is it?
十字槽螺丝帽在黄油盘里
The Phillips head is in the butter dish.
不 不在
John No, that’s not it.
你知道吗 杰克？如果你想赢得奖品
You know what, Jake? If you wanna win that prize,
你要像我每天
you have to do what I tell
对我班上的孩子说的那样
my kids in class every day.
像个吸尘器那样
Make like a vacuum cleaner.
鼓足力气干活
Suck it up and do the work.
你在找什么？
John groans What are you looking for?
我的美味香肠
My gourmet sausage.
你怎么会把香肠弄丢的？
How the hell do you lose a sausage?
晚餐准备好了
Kathy Dinner is served.
我想晚餐吃那个香肠
I wanted to eat it with dinner.
我们吃沙拉
We’re having salads.
所以我才想吃香肠
That’s why I wanted to eat the sausage.
或许是被埃尔伍德吃掉了 爸爸
Well, maybe Elwood ate it, Dad.
因为它最近的便便很多
‘Cause, I mean, he’s been pooping so much lately.
是哦 确实很多
He has, hasn’t he?
你猜我是怎么知道的？
You know how I know that?
因为那些屎还没有被捡起来
Because it still hasn’t been picked up.
下雪了
Uh, it snowed.
嘿 那不是借口 好吗？
Hey, that’s no excuse, okay?
明天早上 你 拿上那个铲子去后院
Tomorrow morning, you, that shovel, backyard.
不 我明天真的一整天都要去卖♥♥花环
No, I’m totally supposed to sell wreaths all day tomorrow.
那可糟了 别再说“真的”
Well, too bad. And stop saying “totally.”
这不公平
It’s not fair.
嘿 要是生活公平
Hey, if life was fair,
那变成一个…游乐园了
it would be… a fair.
好吧 可我…
Okay? But I don’t…
我没看到这里有嘉年华设施 是吧？
I don’t see any carnival rides around here, do you?
是你刚刚编的吧？
You just made that up, didn’t you?
不 我没有
No, I didn’t.
是一句老话
It’s an old saying.
听好了！
Listen!
以圣父、圣子和圣灵的名义
In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…
来自你的恩惠 以基♥督♥之名…
from thou thy bounty, to Jesus Christ’s name…
他很棒 阿门
he is great. Amen.
我确信埃尔伍德比历史上任何一只狗
I was convinced Elwood had pooped more times than any other dog
都爱拉屎
in the history of the world.
我们的院子
Our yard
看起来就像是一块香草蛋糕
looked like avanilla cake
上面被洒满了巧克力片
that someone dumped an entire bag of chocolate chips onto.
丽兹在干吗？她不能帮忙吗？
What’s Lizzy doing? She can’t help?
是你要的狗 就得你来收拾
You wanted the dog, you pick up after it.
我还没出生你们就养了那只狗
You got the dog before I was born.
Who wanted the dog is irrelevant
那只狗是谁要的这无所谓
杰克 把狗屎捡起来就是了
Jake. Just pick up the dang poop.
过来
Come here.
Come here.
过来
好了 深吸一口气
All right. Take a deep breath.
来
Go ahead.
你闻到了吗？
You smell that?
狗屎味？不是！
Poo? No!
新鲜空气！
Fresh air!
我们只有这个 但很满足
That’s all we had, and we loved it.
我在你这么大的时候
When I was your age
我们没有任天堂
we didn’t have Nintendos.
你知道我们都玩什么吗？
You know what we did?
在树林里建堡垒
Built forts in the woods.
我们会收集旧木板和墙板
We’d gather up old lumber and siding
以及我们能找到的任何东西
and whatever we could find
我们会建
we’d build, like,
瞭望塔和绳梯…
watchtowers and rope ladders…
陷阱门？
Trapdoors?
对 我们也会建陷阱门
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we built trapdoors, too.
酷 对 是很酷
Cool. Yeah, it was cool.
对 我们会花上一整年的时间
Yeah, we’d work on it all year round, too.
就像装♥修♥这房♥子一样？
Kinda like the house?
对 就像装♥修♥这房♥子
laughing Yeah. Kinda like the house.
对
Yeah.
一边哭去吧 这狗很会拉
Cry in a bucket, that dog poops a lot.
是啊
Yeah.
嘿
Hey.
棚子后面的那些不用你担心
Don’t worry about behind the shed.
把房♥子周围的捡起来就好 行吗？
Just get the ones around the house, okay?
等你忙完了
And then when you’re done…
你可以给那些旧曲棍球棍上漆
you can varnish these old hockey sticks.
为什么？
Why?
因为它们需要上漆了 就是这么回事
Because they need to get done, that’s why.
拜托 爸爸
Come on, Dad.
你觉得我喜欢纳税
You think I like paying taxes
喜欢和邻居聊天吗？
s and talking to our neighbors?
不 但你不得不做
No. But you gotta do it.
我不喜欢做那样的事！
I don’t like doing that stuff!
小心油漆
Careful with the varnish.
“小心油漆” 我还能怎么样？喝了它？
Jake “Careful with the varnish.” What am I gonna do? Drink it?
我知道如何小心
I know how to be careful.
我们得谈谈
We need to talk.
你在我房♥间做什么？
What are you doing in my room?
我要…
I need…
埃尔伍德拉你身上了？
Did Elwood diarrhea on you?
是漆 你要什么？
It’s varnish. What do you want?
我要你帮忙
I need your help.
帮什么？
With what?
帮我要一个卷心菜娃娃
Getting a Cabbage Patch Kid.
圣诞老人去年没给我希拉人偶
Santa didn’t get me a SheRa last year
所以我不能相信他
so I can’t trust him.