8位机圣诞（2021）

就像《野战排》里那样把所有人都炸飞
Like in Platoon, blow everyone up.
听起来很危险
Sounds dangerous.
埃文奥尔森
Evan Olsen.
紧张 对蜜蜂和意大利面酱过敏
Nervous, allergic to bees and SpaghettiOs.
估计很快就得回家了
Probably has to go home soon.
我可能很快就得回家了
I probably gotta go home soon.
少一个人跟我们抢任天堂
More Nintendo for us.
塔米霍奇斯
Tammy Hodges.
聪明、自信、棒球卡天才
Smart, confident, baseball card genius
霍奇斯工业未来的首席执行官
and future CEO of Hodges Industries.
我的坎塞柯新人卡涨了两块！
My Canseco rookie went up two bucks!
对 那张卡以前是我的
Yeah, that used to be my Canseco.
泰迪霍奇斯
Teddy Hodges.
塔米的孪生兄弟
Tammy’s twin brother.
霍奇斯工业未来的首席执行官助理
Future assistant to the CEO of Hodges Industries.
嘿 大伙 你们好吗？
Hey, guys. What’s up?
哦 对 还有这孩子
Oh, yeah, and this kid.
抱歉我迟到了我刚才在和邦乔维通电♥话♥
Sorry I’m late. I was on the phone with Bon Jovi.
杰夫法默
Jeff Farmer.
病态的骗子
Pathological liar.
并不真是我们的朋友但总是跟着我们
Not really our friend, but always around.
你昨天提早离开学校
And you left school early yesterday
需要你为他做替身？是因为汤姆克鲁斯
because Tom Cruise needed you to stunt double for him?
他知道我也渴望速度
He knows I too have a need for speed.
所以你没有拉肚子吗？
So, you didn’t have diarrhea?
两者都有 汤姆克鲁斯和拉肚子
It was both. Tom Cruise and diarrhea.
这两者互不影响
The two are not mutually exclusive.
闭嘴 他要出来了
Shut up. He’s coming out.
任天堂！
Nintendo! Nintendo!
任天堂！
Nintendo!
任天堂！
Nintendo!
任天堂！安静！
Nintendo! Silence!
早上8点
8:00 a.m.
游戏时间
Game time.
你们这群人当中有谁想玩任天堂吗？
Any of you huddled masses care for some Nintendo?
有！
all Yeah!
选我！
Pick me! Pick me!
你 还有你 你不行
You. You. You.
你 你可以
You’re good.
我进来了！
Yes! I got in!
我们进来了！
Mikey We’re in!
我喜欢这地方
I love this place.
太棒了
Mikey Whoa! Tammy Awesome.
它就在那里灰色的塑料闪烁着荣耀的光芒
And there she was, glistening in all her gray plastic glory,
牛逼的的线路和先进的电子智能
a maze of rubber wiring and electronic intelligence so advanced
它没被人看做是电子游戏机
it was deemed not a video game,
而是一套八比特的娱乐系统
but an 8bit entertainment system.
跟我的小伙伴打个招呼
Say hello to my little friend.
嘿 把鞋脱了！
Hey, boots off!
如果你的袜子上有洞 那里有胶带
There’s tape over there if you have holes in your socks.
别碰墙！那可是法国的
Don’t touch the wall! It’s French.
等等 我弟弟还在外面 让我进去！
Wait, my brother’s still outside. Teddy Let me in!
你知道规矩的
Timmy You know the rules.
前十位 就这样
First ten, that’s it.
可那是泰迪
But it’s Teddy.
“可那是泰迪”
“But it’s Teddy.”
混♥蛋♥！
Teddy Jerk!
太可惜了 太悲哀了
Too bad, so sad.
毋庸置疑 他就是一个混♥蛋♥
There was no denying he was a jerk.
但你也得承认 他拥有整个中部时区
There was also no denying he had the coolest basement
最酷的地下室
in the entire Central Time Zone.
台球桌、沙狐球、弹球机
A pool table, shuffle board, pinball machine,
饮料机、影院风格的爆米花机
pop machine, moviestyle popcornmaker.
嘿 不准直接凑着饮料机喝
Timmy Hey, no sucking on the soda pop.
他的零食抽屉里的存货
And a snack drawer better stocked
比大芝加哥地区大多数超♥市♥都要好
than most supermarkets in the greater Chicago area.
你们饿了吗？想来点果酱吐司饼之类的吗？
You guys hungry? You want some PopTarts or something?
好的 好 那太好了
Yeah. That’d be great. Jake Sure.
妈妈
Mom.
妈妈！
Mom!
妈妈 醒醒！什么事？
Mom, wake up! Mrs. Keane What?
给我一个果酱饼干！
Get me a PopTart!
要多少？
Mrs. Keane Uh, how many?
就一个 有谁要…
Just one. Mrs. Keane Does anybody
赢家留下
Winner stays.
去死！
Die, die!
你死了
You’re dead. You’re dead.
你死了
You’re dead. laughs
嘿 你们想玩吗？
Hey, you guys wanna play?
骗你们的！砰！
Psych! Boom!
我可以这样玩一整天
I can do this all day.
当我坐着看着提米基恩
As I sat there and watched Timmy Keane
在电视机前到处射击
blast away an inch from the screen to his evil heart’s content,
让他邪恶的心得到满足的时候
有一件事变得清晰起来
one thing became clear.
我要拥有自己的任天堂
I needed to get my own Nintendo.
要尽快
Fast.
天呀！
Oh, gee!
“你的”是所有格
YOUR is possessive.
几周来 我一直在策划
For weeks, I’d been plotting
如何让我父母同意
how to get my parents to say “yes” to a Nintendo for Christmas.
圣诞节给我买♥♥任天堂
“童子军”拼错了
Kathy “Scout” is misspelled.
就是今晚了 我终于要行动了
Tonight was the night I’d finally put my plan into action.
“阿提卡斯”拼错了 妈妈
Kathy “Atticus” is misspelled. Jake Mom.
嘿 妈妈
Uh, hey, Mom.
对不起 妈妈
I’m so sorry, Mom,
我的卫衣沾上了一些番茄酱
but I got some ketchup on my sweatshirt.
天啊 没事的 在渗进去前洗掉
Oh, gosh. All right, let’s get that out before it sets in.
你知道 那件卫衣我们买♥♥大了两个尺码
You know, we bought that sweatshirt two sizes too big.
我知道你还能再穿一年
I know. It’s gotta last you another year.
我不知道能不能洗掉 哇！天啊！
I don’t know. Wow! Jesus!
我妈妈总是一心多用
My mom was always multitasking.
喜欢混乱
She thrived on the chaos.
一心二用 她最在行
Two things at once, she was golden.
但如果你给她第三个任务她就没那么靠谱了
But if you gave her a third task to juggle, things got dicey,
你能让她同意通常不会同意的事
and you could get her to agree to stuff she wouldn’t normally agree to.
嘿 妈妈 我在想 圣诞节…
Hey, so, Mom, I was thinking, for Christmas…
一个会思考的小孩 真新鲜
A kid who thinks. How refreshing.
或许你可以教教我学生
Maybe you could teach my students that.
可以
Sure?
不过只是为了让我今年的圣诞采购
But just to make Christmas shopping
轻松一些…
a little easier for me this year…
给我买♥♥一台任天堂如何？
how about getting me a Nintendo?
好的 听起来不错
Sure. That sounds great.
妈妈这关过了
Mom gauntlet passed.
见鬼！
John God bless it!
你们没事吧？
Is everything all right in there?
有人看到我的SKIL锯子吗？
Has anyone seen my SKIL saw?
我觉得是在浴室
I think it’s in the shower.
不！那是我的钢丝锯我需要我的SKIL锯子
No, that’s my jigsaw. I need my SKIL saw.
约翰 SKIL锯就在钢丝锯下面
John, the SKIL saw is underneath the jigsaw.
你得仔细找才行
You have to look harder.
那些是给穆勒家准备的
Those are for the Muellers. stammers
我妈妈多年来
Of the 6,000 Christmas cookies
烤了6000块圣诞饼干
my mom had baked over the years,
可我们家的人一块都没吃到
no one in my family had ever actually eaten one.
嘿 牛奶过期了
Hey, the milk is expired.
不 那只是建议存放时间 没关系的
No. That’s a suggestion. It’s fine.
杰克！那个…？
Jake! Where…
什么？
Oh. What?