8位机圣诞（2021）

Let’s get you back with your field trip.
他要去哪里？艺术学院
Where’s you headed? Art Institute.
让他在门罗大街的侧门下车
Drop him off at the side door on Monroe.
好吗？知道了
Okay? Got it.
告诉保安你迷路了
Tell security you got lost.
我要怎么把车费还你呢？
Is there any way I can pay you back somehow?
不用了 我敲了你♥爸♥爸一笔钱
Nah. I fleeced your dad for that Patch.
不过你得帮我一个忙
You gotta do me a favor, though.
什么？过一个快乐的圣诞节
What’s that? Have a Merry Christmas.
醒醒 到时候了吗？
Wake up, wake up. Is it time yet?
到时候了吗 杰克？
Is it time yet, Jake?
走吧！
Let’s go!
哇！
whispering Wow!
据我十年视觉拆礼物的经验
Ten years of visual unwrapping experience
我立即就知道那棵树下没有任天堂
I could tell right away there was no Nintendo under that tree.
肥胖的女士们站在一旁悄悄做热声训练
Fat ladies standing by quietly warmed their vocal chords.
丽兹 在我们发完礼物前不要拆
Lizzy, no opening the presents until we pass them out.
你知道规矩的
You know the rules.
乐高？
Legos?
早点开始早点结束吧
Let’s just get this over with.
好了
Okay…
来庆祝圣诞节吧
Let’s have some Christmas.
准备
And…
三 二 一…圣诞快乐！
John three, two, one… Merry Christmas!
现在是1988年圣诞节的早晨
It’s Christmas morning, 1988.
来拆礼物吧！
Opening our presents!
看起来不错 圣诞快乐
Looking good. Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐
Kathy Merry Christmas.
好了 等等 茄子
Okay, hold on. Cheese.
你好吗 杰克？
How are you, Jake? Boop.
开心点！
Cheer up!
圣诞快乐
Kathy Merry Christmas.
谢谢你 亲爱的
Thank you, honey.
来吧 小子 竖大拇指
Come on, buddy. Thumbs up.
很好
Great, all right, cool.
护腿
gasping Leg warmers.
不是吧？我收到了一台砂光机
exclaiming What? I got a sander.
书挡？
Bookends?
给你的百科全书买♥♥的
For your encyclopedia set.
真棒
Great.
上面还有棒球
And they have baseballs on them.
我看到了
I see that.
一个卷心菜娃娃！
A Cabbage Patch Kid!
哇！雀斑！
Wow! Freckles!
不是红头发的 抱歉
I’m sorry it’s not a redhead.
太谢谢了 我爱你
Thank you so much. I love you.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
又一个美好的圣诞节
Another great Christmas.
每年过节能和你们在一起
You know, every holiday that I spend with you guys
真的很幸福
is a real blessing.
什么？
shouting What?
我说：“每年过节能和你们在一起…”
I said, “Every holiday that I spend with you guys…”
约翰！
John. John!
约翰
John.
你现在非得干这事吗？
Do you have to do that right now?
可是…那是你送我的
Yeah, but… You gave it to me.
好吧
Okay.
算了 亲爱的 我觉得气氛已经过了
Never mind, honey. I feel like the moment just passed.
就在这时 我看到它了
gasps And that’s when I saw it.
它和我三天前拿在手里的盒子形状尺寸
It was the exact size and shape of the box I’d held in my hands
一模一样
not three days before.
“致杰克 丹叔叔”
“To Jake. From Uncle Dan.”
我怎么没想到呢？超级富翁丹叔叔
Of course. Crazy rich Uncle Dan.
丹叔叔的礼物
Huh. A gift from Uncle Dan.
过去三年连一张明信片都没寄给你过
You haven’t gotten as much as a postcard in the last three years.
他现在住在哪里？
Where’s he living again now?
日本
Japan.
日本
Japan. Japan.
任天堂的故乡
Home of Nintendo.
梦想成真的地方
The land where dreams come true.
上帝 现在可不要捉弄我
Oh, God, don’t mess with me now.
上面是你的名字 杰克
It’s got your name on it, Jake.
他说送的是什么了吗？
John What’d he say he was sending?
我不知道
I have no idea.
拜托
Come on, come on.
一定要是它
It has to be. It has to be.
精简版？
LiteBrite?
魔法屏？
LiteBrite?
魔法屏
LiteBrite.
日本魔法屏
Japanese LiteBrite.
哇！魔法屏！
Wow! LiteBrite!
对 杰克 这很好玩
Yeah. Jake, that’s fun.
你知道 有那么一瞬间我还以为是一台任天堂
You know, for a second there, I thought it was a Nintendo.
就在我试图缓过神的时候
As I slowly tried to grasp the situation
我开始担心我可能永远也没法缓过来
I began to fear that I might never recover from this.
这件事带来的重创 可能会让我永远无法参加毕业舞会
This was a tragedy so great that I’d never go to prom,
无法去上大学 无法离开家
never go to college, never leave the house.
我会成为一个30岁还住在父母地下室的秃头男
I’d become a 30yearold balding man in his parents’ basement
在他的魔法屏上绘制《塞尔达》的精美图片
making elaborate pictures of Zelda on his LiteBrite.
我现在对圣诞节死心了
Christmas was dead to me now.
喂？嘿 特罗特
Hello? Hey, Trotter.
嘿 你也没得到吗？
Hey. You didn’t get one either?
没 我得到了一只草头娃娃 你得到了一只草头娃娃
Nah, I got a Chia Pet. You got a Chia Pet?
霍奇斯姐弟也没戏
The Hodges struck out, too.
对 我听说了他们的事
Yeah, yeah. I heard about the Hodges.
他们收到了一辆新自行车…还要共享
They just got a new bike… to share.
是啊
Yep.
Farmer says he got one, but he also says he got a jetpack. So…
法默说他收到了一台 不过他还说收到了一个喷气背包 所以…
是啊
Yeah, right.
我想我们都没戏了
I guess we all struck out.
我得挂了
Well, I gotta go.
再见 再见
See ya. See ya, man.
等等 你没收到吗？
Annie Wait a second. So, you didn’t get one?
你的朋友也没人收到？
None of your friends got one?
那算什么故事？
What kind of a story is this?
我们玩的到底是谁的任天堂？
Whose Nintendo were we even playing?
来 跟我来
Here, come with me.
…给爷爷奶奶的礼物在蓝袋子里
Kathy …gifts for Granny and Grandpa are in the blue bag.
We’re going to Minnesota for three days, Kathy.
我们就去明尼苏达州待三天 凯西
你坐过我们的车 我见过你坐的
You’ve been in our car. I’ve seen you in it.
你知道它有多大
You know how big it is.
约翰 你有点不满
John, you’re getting a little bit of a tone.
我觉得我们或许该明天一早出发
I feel like maybe we should leave tomorrow morning.
不 我不要在高峰出行
No. I’m not hitting traffic.
杰克！什么？
Jake! What?
嘿 后院还有很多狗屎 好吗？
Hey, there’s still a ton of poop in the backyard. Okay?
拿一把铲子去捡起来
So, get a shovel and pick it up.
为什么？拜托 求你了
Why? I mean, come on. Please?
这可是圣诞节
It’s Christmas.
好吧
Fine.
快去 捡起来放下就好了
Come on. Pick them up and put them down, buddy.
我们要走了 好
We gotta go. Yep.
先从棚子后面的开始
John Hey, start with the ones behind the shed.
爸爸！泛光灯！
Dad! The floodlights!
在那些已经成为我存在的祸根的
And there, high above the frozen dog poo
冻住的狗屎上面
that had become the bane of my existence
是一座我所见过的最美的建筑
was the most beautiful structure I had ever laid my eyes on.
一个树堡
A tree fort.
一座壮观的实木树堡
A spectacular, solidwood tree fort.
令人惊叹
Oh, it was breathtaking.
哇