8位机圣诞（2021）

这些游戏完全就是邪物 必须禁止
These games are pure evil, and they’ve got to be stopped.
禁止电子游戏！
Video game over! Video game over!
禁止电子游戏！禁止电子游戏！
Video game over! crowd chanting on TV Video game over!
他是一名足科医生
He’s a podiatrist.
我很为你难过 杰克
Sorry, Jake.
得了吧 丽兹
Knock it off, Lizzy.
我知道你有多想要一台
I know how much you wanted one.
我赢到了
I had it.
它是我的
It was mine.
可现在
But now…
我永远也不会有了
I’ll never get one.
给 你可以用遥控器
Here. You can have the remote.
谢谢 丽兹
Thanks, Lizzy.
她把遥控器给你了？
She gave you the remote?
我永远不会把它给查理
I would never give Charlie the remote.
你一定被击垮了
You must’ve been a wreck.
是啊 他们禁了任天堂
Duh. They banned Nintendo.
如果巴达维亚禁止任天堂
So, if Batavia banned Nintendo
奶奶和爷爷也不会给你买♥♥
and Grandma and Grandpa won’t get you one…
你还一直做这些坏事…
and you’re doing all these bad things, all the time…
也不是一直不 就是一直
Not all the time. Yes, all the time.
你做了所有这些事 没人会给你买♥♥
You’re doing all these things, and no one will get it for you,
那你是怎么得到的呢？
then how did you get it?
你是怎么得到任天堂的？
How did you get the Nintendo?
好了 冷静点
Okay, calm down.
要不休息一下？你想给梅芙发短♥信♥…
Should we take a break? You wanna text Maeve
不！
No!
我想知道故事的后续
I wanna know what happens in the story.
你看 安妮
You see, Annie…
有时候 在圣诞节期间
sometimes during Christmas…
就在你认为所有希望都破灭了的时候
just when you think that all hope is lost…
会有神奇的事发生
something magical happens.
有些人称之为“圣诞节的奇迹”
Some people call it a Christmas miracle.
这个奇迹发生在溜冰场
Well, this miracle happened at the roller rink.
什么是溜冰场？
What’s a roller rink?
距离圣诞节还有六天 正式的消息来了
Six days until Christmas and it was officially official.
我们没人会得到任天堂
None of us were getting a Nintendo.
我在埃尔姆赫斯特的表弟可能会得到一台
Evan My cousin in Elmhurst might get one still.
那是在库克县
That’s in Cook County.
杜佩奇县
DuPage County.
你怎么知道的？我有百科全书
How do you know? I got encyclopedias.
拜托 各位 我们还有彼此
Jeff Come on, guys. We still got each other.
小心！
boy Watch out! gasps
抱歉 客观地说 我知道这很好笑
Sorry. Objectively, I know that’s hilarious
但我现在没心情笑
but I just don’t have it in me to laugh right now.
那是霍奇斯姐弟的生日会
It was the Hodges’ birthday party.
可怕的圣诞节生日
The dreaded Christmas birthday.
这对双胞胎不仅要共享一个生日
Not only did the twins have to share a birthday between them,
他们还不得不与圣诞节共享祝福
they had to share it with Christmas to boot.
“生日快乐 圣诞快乐爱你们的奶奶”
“Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. Love, Grandma.”
什么山寨货
What a ripoff.
“备注：这礼物你们两个人分”
“P.S. This gift is for you two to share.”
新的卡 谁想拆？我！
Fresh packs. Who wants to open? all Me!
有克里斯萨博
You got Chris Sabo. Need it.
要的 有了 要了
Need it. Got it. Need it.
你要吃你的口香糖吗？
You gonna eat your gum?
我有一个里普肯 比利里普肯
Uh, I got a Ripken. Billy Ripken.
谁关心比利里普肯？
Tammy Who cares about Billy Ripken?
怎么了？
What?
怎么了？出什么事了？
What? What is it?
你们不会相信的
You guys are not gonna believe this.
看！那里！在他的球棒上！
Look! Right there! On his bat!
天啊！脏话
Jake Oh, my gosh! Evan A swear word.
很脏
That’s a bad one.
写了什么？别大声念出来
What does it say? Evan Don’t read it out loud.
我家人不准我听到脏话
I’m not allowed to hear swear words.
说什么字打头的吧
“Swear word dash face.”
哪个脏话？A字打头的？
Which swear word? Aface?
S打头的？
Sface? Mmmmmm.
等等 F打头的？
Wait. Fface?
对
Bingo.
是一张印错的卡
It’s an error card.
有史以来错误最严重的卡！
It’s the greatest error card of all time!
比利里普肯
Billy Ripken.
95块！
Ninetyfive bucks!
95块！你是百万富翁了！
Ninetyfive dollars? You’re a millionaire!
对 再多来几张这种卡
Yeah, Couple more of those,
你可以买♥♥一台自己的任天堂了
and you can buy your own Nintendo.
各位
Guys…
我想到了
I got it.
我没听懂
Jeff I don’t get it.
什么叫你没听懂？
Jake What do you mean, you don’t get it?
这是一个非常清楚的15步计划
It’s a very clear 15point plan.
我觉得你把“秘密”拼错了 好吧
I think you spelled “covert” wrong. Mikey Okay.
校外教学是在周一上午9点出发去芝加哥
The field trip is Monday at 0900 hours to Chicago.
那又怎样？那里还在卖♥♥任天堂
So? So, they still sell Nintendos there.
所以呢？
So?
我们可以卖♥♥一些棒球卡
So, we sell some baseball cards,
赚一些钱
get some money…
我们偷偷溜出去去买♥♥属于我们自己的任天堂
we sneak out of the field trip and buy our own Nintendo.
这下我明白了 等等 这哪里有15步？
Oh, now I get it. But wait, how’s that 15 steps?
其实是…三步
That’s like… three.
我不知道 我们可能会惹麻烦
I don’t know. We could get in trouble.
我现在不能惹麻烦 杰克 快到圣诞节了
I can’t get in trouble now. It’s almost Christmas.
别管圣诞节了
Forget Christmas.
这可比圣诞节重要
This is bigger than Christmas.
这是我们获得任天堂唯一的机会
This is our one and only chance to get a Nintendo.
一台我们可以自己玩的任天堂
One that we can play on our own.
（秘密计划 任天堂）
我们不用脱靴子
We don’t have to worry about taking our boots off,
或是排队
or getting in line…
或是其他那些事
or any of that stuff.
我们完全可以做到！
We can totally do this!
这是我们的越南 对
This is our Vietnam. Yeah.
我觉得你不明白这句话的意思
I don’t think that means what you think it means.
我是不知道
I have no idea what it means.
不过谁愿意加入？
But who’s with me?
我
I’m in.
（对讲机电池）
测试 完毕
Check, check. Over.
测试 完毕
Check, check. Over.
算上我们
both We’re in.
查棒球卡！
只挑新的！
比尔里普肯
算我一个
I’m in.
不行
Nope.
算了 什么？
Tammy Forget it. What?
棒球卡 法默
Baseball cards, Farmer.
拜托！还要我怎么样？
Come on! What’s a guy gotta do?
奥尔森？
Olsen?
出口
呕吐
奥尔森
分散注意力
意大利面酱
我们会惹很多麻烦
We’re gonna get in so much trouble.
一 二 三 任天堂！
all One, two, three, Nintendo!
棒球员休息区
我们买♥♥卖♥♥藏品
搞定了！
Got it!
漂亮 塔米
Nice, Tammy.
安全可靠
Evan Safe and secure.
好了！
Here we go!
购买♥♥任天堂
不好！又是杰戈尔斯基
Annie Oh, no! Not Jagorski.
他要做什么？