七日地狱（2015）

These guys are really in sync.
他…他太大力了 赛场上的草皮都被抓起了一块
He… he came so hard, it made a divot in the court.
他俩好像终于结束了
Looks like they’ve finished up.
那个裸奔的姑娘又欲求不满地回来了
The female streaker has returned for more.
三个人 两个裸着的
We’ve got three bodies, two of them naked.
啊 我想我知道剧情要怎么发展了
Oh, I think I know how this is gonna pan out.
现在亚伦在亲那个裸奔的妹子
And now Aaron is kissing the female streaker.
现在是那个裸奔的汉子
And now, the male streaker.
现在他让这俩裸奔的亲亲
And now he’s making the two streakers kiss.
他们一直日到日暮时分
The lovemaking lasted until nightfall
亚伦又活过一天
and Aaron survived another day.
早晨好
Good morning.
开始之前 我想要说
Before I get started, I just want to say
我不会为昨天赛场上的意外
I’m not going to apologize
而道歉
for the incidents in yesterday’s match.
温布尔顿赛场上两个或者三个人
What happens between two or three
之间发生过什么是他们自己的事
people on the Wimbledon courts is between them.
自然的啪 美好的啪
And it’s natural and it’s beautiful.
言尽于此 你们很多人都知道
That out of the way, as many of you know,
我多年来一直在
I’ve spent years searching
寻找我的生父的真实身份
for the true identity of my birth father.
我是个孤儿 被领养的
I’m an orphan. Adopted.
呃…
And…
今天很高兴宣布我找到他了
I’m happy to announce that today I have found him.
他就是英国自己的…
His name is England’s own…
英格伯特 汉普丁克(与德国作曲家同名)
Engelbert Humperdinck.
我在此宣布
And I’d like to hereby announce
我在本场比赛中的表现
that my performance in this match
是向本家大英帝国的
will be dedicated to my native home
致敬
of Great Britain.
英国人真正的儿子回来了!
England’s true son has returned!
哇哦!
Whoo!
赛场上见
See you on the court.
听着 我们都知道 网球是大脑运动
Look, we all know this, tennis is a head game.
这步棋走得很好 扰乱了查尔斯的大脑
And it was a great move to get in Charles’ head.
我是说 这个人的身份定位
I mean, the guy’s whole identity
是基于他是本体育赛事上唯一一个英国明星
was based on being the only British star in the sport.
但突然亚伦把它从他那里夺走了
And suddenly, Aaron had taken that from him.
比赛开始 威廉姆斯
Game, Williams.
加油 大不列颠!
Go, Britain!
他是个骗子
He’s a phony.
观众喜欢他
The crowd loves him.
我才是英国人 我
I’m the one who’s English. Me.
看起来大家都背弃了查尔斯
Seems everyone’s turned on Charles.
到这份上 英国人对查尔斯的讨厌之情明摆着了
By this point the English had bloody had it with Charles
而且他们真的相信
and they truly believed
亚伦是汉普丁克一族 手足兄弟
Aaron was a Humperdinck. A brother-in-arms.
但是针对查尔斯的
But the abuse directed at
辱骂并不止于愤怒的观众
Charles didn’t end with the angry spectators.
当他回到旅馆时
When he got back to his hotel,
迎接他的是一个更吓人的观众
he was greeted by a much more intimidating audience.
我是英国人 耶!
I’m British, eh!
啊 天啊
Oh, my God!
亚伦 威廉姆斯… 被辆 “卡册”
Aaron Williams… has been hit..
“装”了…
By a twuck.
亚伦 威廉姆斯怎么了么?
Did something happen to Aaron Williams?
– 他被卡车撞了 – 他被卡车撞了?
– He was hit by a truck. – He was hit by a truck?
哦 不
Oh, no.
两个人在参与一个赌注高到爆表的比赛
You have two men competing in a high-stakes match.
其中一人被卡车撞了
One of those men gets hit by a truck.
另一个… 有载重卡车执照
The other man… is a licensed big-rig truck driver.
但是不知为什么
But somehow
没人想到指控是卡车司机的另一个人
no one thinks to accuse the guy who’s a truck driver.
毋庸置疑我很担心亚伦
I’m indubitably concerned about Aaron.
如果他再也不能比赛了真是天大的遗憾
It’d be a great shame if he couldn’t play again,
我现在领先了 我麻麻还有大家又都喜欢我了
and I advanced and my mum and everyone liked me again.
我没有什么要说的了
No comment.
跟他医生和任何有眼力见的人意见相反
Against the advice of his doctors, and anyone with eyeballs…
亚伦 威廉姆斯今天下午离开了医院
Aaron Williams checked himself out of his hospital this afternoon
继续他和普尔已经持续六天的荒诞比赛
to continue his ludicrous, now six-day match against Poole.
走过路过不要错过哦
This is not something to miss.
亚伦惯用右手 然而他的右胳膊的骨头彻底碎了
Aaron’s right-handed and his right arm is completely shattered.
所以 你想继续比赛 没问题 但是用哪只胳膊比赛啊?
So it’s like, okay, you want to keep playing, but with what arm?
看起来威廉姆斯是准备尝试用
It appears Williams is now going to attempt
他的左胳膊来继续比赛了
to continue this match with his left hand.
我说 这简直是太蠢了
I mean, this is just an exercise in stupidity now.
这不可能成功的
There’s no way this works.
天啦噜 左手发ACE球? 你特么在逗我?
A left-handed ace? Are you kidding me?
他简直无所不能
This guy can do anything.
此时此刻 运动心理学家解释说这完全是因为心理作用
At this point, sports psychologists explained it was entirely mental.
没有人能截取另一个人的发球 第一…
No man would ever break the other’s serve because, A…
他不相信他能做到 第二… 他不想做
He didn’t believe he could, and, B… he didn’t want to.
他们都跟自己商量好了 决定
They had both made a deal with themselves that this is how
这就是他们要渡过余生的方式
they would spend the rest of their lives.
他们觉得这并没有什么不好的 我也那么觉得
And they were okay with that. And so was I.
但是在第196轮比赛的时候
But in the 196th game of play,
似乎查尔斯准备好来打破这个规律了
it seemed Charles was ready to break that pattern.
为第一次三倍赛末点做好了准备
Up for the first time at triple match break point,
查尔斯有三次机会来结束这个噩梦
Charles had three opportunities to put an end to the nightmare.
这件在98 97年发生的事
What happened in ’98, ’97,
简直滑体育史上之大稽
I would call the greatest travesty in sports history.
求你成功 求你成功啊亲
Please end it. Please end it.
卧♥槽♥? 发生了啥?
What the…? What’s going on?
是大卫 科波菲尔!
It’s David Copperfield!
– 我的齐天大圣孙悟空啊 – 就是那时候 你就眼睁睁看着它发生
– Oh, my God! – At that point, you’d just seen it all.
亚伦绝对跟这个没关系 只不过是一个小魔术出了点问题
Aaron was in no way responsible. It was simply a trick gone wrong.
我应该在自♥由♥女神像上出现
I was supposed to appear on top of the Statue of Liberty.
但是有的时候 事情就是… 那么奇葩地发生了
But sometimes these things just… Well, they just happen.
查尔斯在那以后就不能集中精力了
Charles couldn’t concentrate after that.
在温布尔顿打球本来就够难的了
Playing at Wimbledon is hard enough
除此以外 又加上
then add on top of that all the pressure
对于一个魔术师在任何时候都有可能在你肩膀上出现的恐惧和压力
and fear that a magician might appear on your shoulders at any time.
无论刚刚发生的那是啥 似乎这个比赛是永远也不会结束了
Whatever it was that happened, it now seemed the match would never reach a conclusion.
– 直到
– Until…
– 亚伦你感觉怎么样? – 我感觉棒棒哒
– Aaron, how are you feeling? – I feel great.
我把我肩膀啪的掰回去了 像致命武器里面演的一样 感觉自己萌萌哒
I popped my shoulder back into place “Lethal Weapon” style, so good to go there.
哦对 还有昨天晚上查尔斯没有用他的卡车撞我
And Charles didn’t try and hit me with his truck last night.
这帮了我大忙呢
So that always helps.
查尔斯你对性♥爱♥视频有什么想法?
Charles, what are your thoughts on the sex tape?
什么性♥爱♥视频?
What sex tape?
天啦噜 你还没听说吗?
Ooh, you hadn’t heard about that?
什么视频?
What sex tape?
亚伦和莉莉的那个
The one with Aaron and Lily.
– 这个在录不? – 恩恩 录着呢
– Is it recording? – Yeah, it’s on.
正在录
It’s going.
没人料到这种东西会公之于众
One doesn’t expect this type of thing to be released to the public.
实在是… 有点羞羞的
It was… rather embarrassing.
我倒没有什么啦 但是对于亚伦来说就很羞羞了
Not so much for me, but more for Aaron.
深表同情 我也遇到过这种情况的 你懂得
I empathize. I’ve been there, you know?
我非常失望 偏偏是今天这个视频流出了 你知道吗?
I am so disappointed that surfaced today of all days, you know?
我不想从比赛分心
I don’t want to distract from the match.
诶诶诶你干啥!
Whoa, whoa. Hey!
这是他最大的秘密
It was his biggest secret.
他从13岁就开始秃顶
He started balding around 13.
如果你一定要戴假发
If you’re gonna wear a wig,
为什么一定要带那个假发?
why would you wear that wig?
如果你一定要带一顶假发 就带那顶吧
If you are gonna wear a wig, that’s the one to wear.
– 不要动我的头发啊 兄弟 – 你他么的不要动我马子啊 伙计
– Don’t touch my hair, bro! – Don’t touch my bloody girl, mate!
– 兄弟 你死定了 – 你才死定了了呢 伙计
– You’re dead, bro. – You’re dead, mate.
– 呸! – 不要动我!
– Ugh! – Get off of me, man!
– 兄弟 别碰我 – 你不要动我 兄弟 伙计