Friends Season 1 Episode 16 : The one with Two Parts.

老友记第1季第16集: 双胞胎两部曲。

Chandler: This is unbelievable. It’s been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, you’d be looking like a ham right about now.
真是令人难以置信，已过了半个小时。如果这是动画片，你现在看起来应该像火腿一样了。
Joey: Oh, there’s the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
哦，服务员在那儿。打扰一下，小♥姐。嗨，小♥姐？
Chandler: It’s Phoebe! Hi!
是Phoebe，嗨！
Joey: Hi!
嗨！
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
嗨！好的。就这些吗？
Chandler:Wait, wait! What are you doing here?
等等，你在这儿干什么呢？
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said “excuse me, hello Miss” so now I’m here.
我本来在那边，你说”打扰一下，小♥姐。嗨，小♥姐”。所以我就过来了。
Joey: No, no…how come you are working here?
不是不是，你怎么会在这儿工作？
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause it’s close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
是这样，因为这儿离我的住处很近，而且围裙也很漂亮。
Chandler: Can we start over?
我们能从头再说一遍么？
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. I’m gonna be over here.
没问题。好吧。那我现在到那边去。
Chandler & Joey: No no no…
不是不是……
Ross: So I don’t know whether he’s testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. Like, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, supposedly by accident.
我不知道它在考验我还是在发泄情绪，我的猴子已经无法控制了。比如它不断清除我答录机上的留言，就当是不小心的吧。
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I’ve done that.
哦，是的，我做过这种事。
Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did, and peed all over the crossword.
还有，它连续三天在我看报纸之前，在猜字游戏上尿尿。
Rachel: I’ve never done that.
这我从没做过。
Ross: You know last night, I don’t know what he did but there were capers everywhere!
昨晚，我不知道他做了什么，到处都是酸豆！
Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesn’t look exactly like her sister.
看看她，告诉我她和她姐姐长得不完全一样。
Joey: I’m saying I see a difference.
我觉得看到不同之处。
Chandler: They’re twins!
她们是双胞胎！
Joey: I don’t care. Phoebe’s Phoebe. Ursula’s…hot!
我不管，Phoebe是Phoebe。Ursula很火♥辣。
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
我们不是常谈论事情吗？
Joey: Yeah.
是啊。
Chandler: Let’s not do that anymore.
咱们别再那样做了。
Ross: Hi guys!
嗨！各位！
Joey: Guys!
各位。
Monica, Pheobe & Rachel: Hey!
嗨！
Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
嗨Pheebs，猜猜我们今天碰见谁了。
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, fun! Okay…um, Liam Neeson.
哦哦！有趣！嗯…Liam Neeson。
Joey: No.
不是。
Phoebe: Morly Safer.
Morly Safer。
Joey: Nope.
不是。
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
给我剪头发的女人！
Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.
好了，这样你们会猜很久。
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
是你姐姐Ursula。
Phoebe: Oh, really?
哦，真的吗？
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, she works over at that place, uh…
是的，她在那儿工作，呃……
Phoebe: Rift’s. Yeah, I know.
Rift餐厅，嗯，我知道。
Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys haven’t talked in like years.
哦，你知道？她说你们已多年不说话。
Phoebe: Hmmm? Yeah. So, um, is she fat?
嗯？没错。那么，她胖吗？
Joey: Not from where I was standing.
在我看来一点也不胖。
Phoebe: Where were you standing?
你从什么角度看的？
Rachel: Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just don’t get along?
呃，Pheebs，你们合不来？
Phoebe: It’s mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know.
只是姐妹之间的事，比如大家都觉得她是比较漂亮的那个。
Phoebe: Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it… later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like “yeah, right, well what else is new?”
哦哦，她先学会走路的，虽然我那天稍后就学会了。但是对我爸妈来说那已经不是新鲜事了。
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, I’m sorry, I’ve got to go. I’ve got Lamaze class.
注释：Lamaze：心理助产法的。
哦，Pheebs，抱歉，我得走了，我得去参加心理助产班。
Chandler: Oh, and I’ve got Earth Science, but I’ll catch you in gym?
哦，我得去参加地球科学班，那么健身房见了？
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
就你和Carol两人去？
Ross: No, Susan’s gonna be there too. We’ve got dads, we’ve got lesbians, the whole parenting team.
不，Susan也要去。爸爸，女同志…… 全部的父母都会去。
Rachel: Well, isn’t, isn’t that gonna be weird?
但是这样不会很奇怪吗？
Ross: No, no. I mean, it might been at first, but by now I think I’m pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
不会的，我的意思是，一开始或许会，但我现在已经能坦然面对了。
Monica: Ross, that’s my jacket.
Ross，那是我的外套。
Ross: I know.
我知道。
Woman: Hi, we’re the Rostins. Err, I’m J.C. , and he’s Michael. And we’re having a boy and a girl.
大家好，我们是Rostin一家，我是J.C.，他是Michael。我们有一个男孩和一个女孩。
Teacher: Good for you. Alrighty, next?
真厉害。那么下一位是？
Ross: Hi, um, I’m err, I’m Ross Geller, and err ah… that’s, that’s my boy in there, and this is Carol Willick. And this is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carol’s, just, com… Who’s next?
嗨，呃，我是呃，我是Ross Geller，这是我儿子，这位是Carol Willick，这位是Susan Bunch。Susan是Carol的…… 下一位是？
Teacher: I’m sorry, I didn’t get it. Susan is…?
不好意思我没听清，Susan是？
Ross: Susan’s Carol’s…Carol’s…Carol’s friend.
Susan是Carol的朋友。
Susan: Life partner.
是伴侣。
Ross: Like buddies.
就像伙伴。
Susan: Like lovers!
像恋人那样！
Ross: You know how close women can get.
你知道女人们能多亲密。
Carol: Susan and I live together.
Susan和我住在一起。
Ross: Although I was married to her.
我俩曾经结过婚。
Susan: Carol, not me.
是Carol，不是我。
Ross: Err, Right.
嗯是的。
Carol: It’s a little complicated.
这事有点复杂。
Ross: A little.
有一点。
Susan: But we’re fine.
但是我们关系不错。
Ross: Absolutely! So, twins! That’s like two births. Ouch!
绝对的！那么，双胞胎！好像要生两次。多疼啊！
Chandler: And … to you too, Helen.
你好Helen。
Helen: Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
妮娜布克宾德来找你。
Chandler: Oh, OK, send her in.
哦，好的，让她进来。
Nina: Hi.
嗨。
Chandler: Hi, Nina. Come on in.
嗨Nina。快进来。
Nina: You wanted to see me?
你找我？
Chandler: Uh, yes, yes. I’ve just been going over your data here, and little thing, you’ve been postdating your Friday numbers.
嗯，是的，我刚看过你的材料，有个小问题，你周五的信息一直都填迟了。
Nina: Which is bad, because…?
这样很不好么，因为……
Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.
嗯，这样做会使我的WENUS出问题。
Nina: Excuse me?
什么？
Chandler: WENUS. Weekly Estimated Net Usage…
WEENUS，每周估计净值使用统计。
Nina: Oh, Net Usage Statistics, right! Gotcha! Gotcha. Won’t happen again. I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt your… WENUS.
哦净产值使用统计，知道了！知道了。不会再发生这样的事了，我不会再做任何事伤害你的……维纳斯(谐音)。
Monica: OK, I’ll take “Idiots in the Workplace” for 200, Alex.
好吧，我应该在”白♥痴员工”上押200，Alex。
Chandler: OK, It’s not just that she’s cute, okay? It’s just that… she’s really, really cute.
这不是因为她很漂亮，只是……她真的非常非常漂亮。
Ross: It doesn’t matter. You don’t dip your pen in the company ink.
这不重要，兔子不吃窝边草。
Rachel: God, I even know that and I’m pretty much unemployable.
天啊，这样说几乎没人会雇用我了。
Monica: Ross, your little creature’s got the remote again.
Ross，你的小动物又在玩遥控器。
Ross: Marcel, Marcel, give Rossy the remote. Marcel! Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now! You give Rossy the remote…
Marcel，把遥控器给Rossy。Marcel！Marcel，立刻把遥控器给Rossy！把遥控器给Rossy……
Monica: Great.
这下好了。
Ross: Relax. I’ll fix it.
放心，我会解决的。
Rachel: Oh, cool! Urkel in Spanish is Urkel.
哦有意思，Urkel在西班牙语里还是Urkel。
Ross: How did he do this?
他是怎么办到的？
Chandler: So tell me something. Is leaving Christmas lights up a part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
给我解释一下。你还开着圣诞灯是想让我们 “快乐” 一整年？
Monica: No, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years, but obviously someone forgot.
不，某人在新年期间就应该把它拿下来，显然她忘了。
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write, “Rach, take down the lights”… and put it on the refrigerator…
那么某人应该写个字条 “Rachel，把圣诞灯拿下来” 然后贴在冰箱……上……
Rachel: How long has that been there?
字条在这儿多久了？
Monica: A really long time.
时间可不短了。
Chandler: Hey, where you been?
嘿，你上哪儿去了？
Joey: I went back to Riff’s.
我又去了Riff餐厅。
Joey: I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee. She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.
我觉得Ursula喜欢我。我只点了咖啡。她却端给我金枪鱼和四盘的薯片。
Chandler: Score.
厉害。
Joey: She is so hot!
她真的好带劲儿！
Chandler: Yeah, listen, OK. Before you do anything Joeylike, you might want to run it by, uh…
没错，听着，在你展开典型的Joey攻势之前，你是不是应该跟……
Joey: Yeah? Yeah.
哦？哦。
Joey: Pheebs?
Pheebs？
Phoebe: Yeah.
在。
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
我约你姐姐出去你会介意吗？
Phoebe: Why? Why would you want to do that? Why?
为什么？你为何要那么做？为什么？
Joey: So if we went out on a date, she’d be there.
这样我去约会时，她就会在我身边。
Phoebe: Well, I mean, I’m not my sister’s, you know, whatever, and uh, I mean, it’s true, we were one egg, once. But, uh, you know, we’ve grown apart so uh… I don’t know. Why not?
好吧，我是说，我又不是她的，你知道，什么人，我是说，没错，我们确实曾待在同一颗卵子里。但是，你知道，我们各自发育，所以……我不知道。有何不可？
Joey: Cool. Thanks.
好。谢啦。

老友记.本章节注释

注释：Lamaze：心理助产法的。