Friends Episode 14 Season 1: The one with the Candy Hearts.

老友记第1季第14集: 情人节糖果。

Joey: I’m telling you Ross, she wants you.
告诉你吧，Ross，她想要你。
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
她跟我不熟，我们只是住在同一栋公寓。
Chandler: Any contact?
有过接触吗？
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
她借过我一颗蛋。
Joey: You’re in!
有机会了！
Ross: Aw, right.
啊，好吧。
Woman: Hi, Ross.
嗨，Ross。
Ross: Hi!
嗨！
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, OK? The Rachel thing isn’t happening, your ex-wife is a lesbian…. I don’t think we need a third.
拜托，Ross，你得重新开始新的感情，好吧？你和瑞秋的事没指望，你前妻又是个女同志。我觉得我们不需要第三回吧。
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
打扰一下，能给我们一颗蛋吗，整颗有壳的蛋？谢谢。
Ross: An egg?
一颗蛋？
Joey: Yeah, you’re gonna go up to her and say, ” Here is your egg back. I’m returning your egg.”
对，你要拿这颗蛋过去对她说：“这是你的鸡蛋，还给你鸡蛋。”
Chandler: I think it’s a winning.
我觉得肯定能行。
Ross: Come on, I think it’s insane.
拜托，这也太傻了。
Chandler: She will love it.
她会喜欢的。
Joey: Thank you. –
谢谢。
Chandler: Thank you. Here. Go with the egg, my friend.
谢谢，给你。朋友，带着蛋去。
Chandler/Joey: Go, go, go, go…
快去，快去，快去！
Joey: Think it’ll work?
你觉得会成功吗？
Chandler: No way, it’s suicide. The man’s got an egg.
不可能，这简直是在自杀，带蛋的男人。
Monica: You can not do this.
你不能这样做。
Rachel: What? Do what?
什么？做什么？
Monica: Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.
Roger想要明晚约她出去。
Rachel: No! Phoebe! Don’t you remember why you dumped the guy?
不！Phoebe，难道你忘了为何甩了他吗？
Phoebe: ‘Cause he was creepy, and mean. And a little frightening. All right, still it’s nice to have a date on Valentine’s Day!
因为他很诡异，卑鄙，还有点可怕。但情人节有个约会也还不错好吧！
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
但是Phoebe，你可以在一年里其他任何一晚上跟诡异的人约会。我知道我会。
Rachel: What are you guys doing tomorrow night?
你们明晚有何节目？
Joey: Actually tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.
实际上明晚做什么全看今天过得如何。
Chandler: Oh, uh, listen, about tonight…
哦，呃，听我说，关于今晚……
Joey: No, no, no, don’t you dare bail on me. The only reason she’s going out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
不不不，你敢放我鸽子试试！是因为我答应带我的朋友介绍给她的朋友，她才答应与我约会的！
Chandler: Yes, I know. But her friend sounds like such a…
我知道，但她朋友好像是个…
Joey: Pathetic mess. I know, but…. Come on, man. She’s needy. She’s vulnerable. I’m thinking…. Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You’re doing this.
可怜虫，我知道，但是……拜托，老兄，她黏人又脆弱。我想你可以…谢谢！你和珍妮丝之后就没约过会，你一定要去。
Hi. Hi.
嗨。海。
Ross: She said yes.
她答应了。
Chandler: Yes, way to go, man!Still got the egg, huh?
干得好，老兄！蛋还在？
Ross: Yeah.
是的。
Joey: How do I look?
我看上去怎样？
Chandler: Oh, uh, I…don’t…care.
哦，呃，我才不关心。
Joey: There’s Lorraine.
萝拉妮来了。
Chandler: OK, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
好的，切记，不准交换，你有美女相伴，我有贱♥货作陪。
Lorraine: Hi, Joey.
嘿，Joey。
Joey: Hey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.
嘿。不错啊，瞧你带什么人来，真帅。
Chandler: And what did you bring?
你带什么来了？
Lorraine: She’s checking her coat. Joey, I’m gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
注释：Zinfandel：馨芳葡萄酒。
她正在挂外套。Joey，我要去洗掉手上出租车的味道。帮我点一杯白仙粉黛，给Janice点杯红酒。
Chandler: Janice? Janice! ?
珍妮丝？珍妮丝？
Janice: Oh…. my…. God.
哦…我的…天哪。
Chandler: Hey, it’s Janice. OK, I’m making a break for it, I’m going out the window.
嘿，是Janice。好吧，我要逃了，我要从窗子爬出去。
Joey: No, no, no, don’t! Please! Look, I’ve been waiting for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
不，不，不，别这样！我等了好久与Lorraine约会的机会。淡定。
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I’ve dumped twice in the last five months!
淡定？淡定？你竟然撮合我和在过去五个月内被我甩掉两次的女人！
Joey: Can you stop yelling? You’re making me nervous, and I can’t go when I’m nervous.
别这么大声嚷嚷好吗？你让我紧张。我一紧张就尿不出来了。
Chandler: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you’re right. Come on, do it, do it, go, come on! !!
对不起，对不起，你说得没错。快点，快尿，快尿，快，快点！
Rachel: OK, OK, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney.
好吧，好吧，Roger是很诡异，但是跟Pete Carney相比还差的远呢。
Monica: Which one was Pete Carney?
谁是Pete Carney？
Rachel: Pete the Weeper.
爱哭鬼Pete。
Rachel: Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. “Oh, was it good for you?”
你记得那个人吗，我们每次做♥爱他都哭的那个？“哦，你满足吗？”
Monica: Yeah, well, I’ll take a little crying any day over Howard, the “I win” guy. “I win! I win!” I went out with the guy for two months—I didn’t get to win once.
记得啊，好吧，比起Howar我宁愿和爱哭鬼约会，那个喜欢说“我赢了”的家伙。“我赢了！我赢了！”。我和他约会了两个月，一次都没赢过。
Rachel: How did we end up with these jerks? We’re good people!
我们怎会和这些浑蛋在一起？我们可是好人呐！
Monica: I don’t know. Maybe we’re like some kind of magnets.
我不知道，也许咱们有某种磁场吧。
Phoebe: I know I am. That’s why I can’t wear a digital watch.
我知道我有，所以我不能戴电子表。
Monica: There’s more beer, right?
还有啤酒，对吧？
Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head?
哦！你们还记得我那个剃光头的朋友Abby吗？
Rachel: No.
不记得了。
Phoebe: OK, I have this friend Abby who shaves her head. She says if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you could do like a cleansing ritual.
好吧，我有个剃光头的朋友Abby。她说如果你想要停止与挫男交往的恶性循环，你可以举行一个清理仪式。
Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Pheebes，那个女人可是主动剃光头的。
Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It’s Valentine’s Day. It’s perfect.
是啊。所以我们明天晚上可以这么做。明天是情人节，正好。
Monica: OK, well, what kind of ritual?
好吧，但是，是什么样的仪式啊？
Phoebe: OK. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.
好吧，我们可以，呃，可以烧掉他们送的东西。
Rachel: Or?
或者是？
Phoebe: Or…or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
或许……或者我们可以念经和裸体跳舞，就是拿着拐杖那种。
Monica: Burning’s good.
烧东西就不错。
Rachel: Burning’s good.
烧东西就不错。
Lorraine: You know…ever since I was little, I’ve been able to pick up quarters with my toes.
知道吗，从儿时起我就能用脚趾夹起25美分硬币。
Joey: Yeah? Good for you. Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?
是吗？真厉害。额，一个硬币还是一卷硬币？
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
对了，Chandler，我把所有照片上的你都剪掉了。如果你想要的话，我有一袋子你的头。
Chandler: That’s OK.
没关系。
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.
哦，你确定？真的确定吗？要知道，你可以用它们做傀儡，在你的“残酷戏院”中用它们。
Joey: We can’t do that.
我们不能那样做。
Chandler: What? What can’t you do? Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
什么？你们不能做什么？呃，可以过来跟我说句话吗？
Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.
嗯，我们可能要先离开了。
Chandler: Tell me it’s “you and me” we.
告诉我这是“你和我”的我们。
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I’m not even sure what slathering is! But I definitely want to be a part of it!
注释：slather：大量地用，厚厚地涂。
她说她想要在我身体上涂满东西，然后舔干净。我都不知道“涂”是什么意思！但我绝对想参与其中！
Chandler: Ok, you can not just do this to me.
好吧，但你不能这样对我！
Joey: You’re right, I’m sorry.
你说的没错，对不起。
Lorraine: Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
呃，能给我们三份巧克力慕思外带吗？
Joey: I’m out of here. Here’s my credit card. Dinner’s on me. I’m sorry, Chandler.
我要走了。给你我的信用卡，晚饭算我请。对不起，Chandler。
Chandler: I hope she throws up on you.
我希望她吐在你身上。

老友记.本章节注释

注释：Zinfandel：馨芳葡萄酒。
注释：slather：大量地用，厚厚地涂。