I’m your guy. Fixed rates. No bargaining
找我就行 价格公道 恕不议价
Hey wait, hold this
嘿 等等 拿着这个
Meet Kilobyte, Megabyte, and their mother Gigabyte
来见见千字节 兆字节还有它们的妈妈千兆字节
Go ahead, click – this family doesn’t bite
放心拍吧 它们一家都不咬人的
Check him out. another God-fearing soul
看看这家伙 又一个虔诚的灵魂
Hi. Farhan Qureshi – I’m Raju Rastogi
你好 我是法涵·库雷希 我叫莱俱·拉斯托吉
Don’t worry
别担心
a few days here and hell lose faith in God
在这里呆几天他就不会再信上帝了
Then naked babes will be on the wall, and he’ll say –
那时挂在墙上的就是裸体美女像了 他会说
Oh God, give me one chance with her
哦 上帝啊 给我一次和她亲近的机会吧
Get out of here
给我出去
Four bucks. Two per bag
4块钱 一个包2块
Here’s five. Keep the change
给你5块 不用找了
Thanks boss. For your tip, here’s one in return –
多谢老板 你这么大方作为回报
Wear your best underwear tonight
提醒你 今晚穿上你最好的内♥裤♥
Why?
为什么
Your Majesty, thou art great
尊敬的阁下 您太伟大了
Accept this humble offering
请接受我们卑微的供奉吧
Ha. here’s a He-Man
啊哈 这里有个纯爷们
What a pretty piece. Cute and compact
多棒的屁♥股♥蛋 雄壮又可爱呀
A campus tradition: On Day 1.
这是个校园传统 入学第一天
Freshmen must pay their respects to Seniors
新生必须穿着内♥裤♥
in their underwear
向高年级学长表达敬意
This is when we first saw Rancho
那时我们第一次见到了兰彻
Spiderman
蜘蛛侠
Batman
蝙蝠侠
Fresh meat
又来一只小肉鸡
Greetings. Drop your pants, get stamped
欢迎 裤子脱掉 来盖章吧
Name?
名字是
‘Ranchhoddas Shamaldas Chanchad’
兰彻达斯·夏马达斯·钱查德
What a mouthful; Needs serious cramming
还真拗口 要好好背一背才行
Come on: pants off
快点 脱裤子吧
Being stubborn?
还真倔啊
Wet pants not good, kiddo. Take them off
湿裤子穿着可不好哦 小伙子 脱了吧
Aal izz well – What’s that?
一切顺利 什么
Aal izz Well
一切顺利
What did he say?
他说什么
Someone tell him. Hey James Bond
谁来告诉他 嘿 詹姆斯·邦德
Make him understand
给他解释明白
Take off your pants or they are going to piss on you
把裤子脱了 不然他们就尿你身上
Hey 007! Ashamed to speak Hindi?
嘿 007 说印地语会害羞啊
Sorry sir, I was born in Uganda, studied in Pondicherry
对不起学长 我出生在乌干达 又是在本地治理 长大
so little slow in Hindi
所以印地语说得有点不好
So explain slowly. No hurry
那就慢慢解释 不着急
Feeling cold?
你冷是吗
Pray undress
务请裸体
or he’ll do ‘urine-expulsion’ on you
否则他将对你进行尿液排出 动作
Calls pissing ‘urine-expulsion’;
把尿尿叫尿液排出
A true linguist in the land of engineers!
你真是工程师中的语言学家啊
Hey, come out of there
嘿 给我出来
Come out or.
给我出来 不出来我就.
or I’ll do ‘urine-expulsion’ on your door
我就对你的门进行尿液排出 动作了
If you aren’t out by the count of ten
我数十下 你不出来的话
I’ll do ‘urine-expulsion’ on your door all semester
我这一学期都到你的门口进行尿液排出 动作啊
One
一
Two
二
Three
三
Four
四
Five
五
Six
六
Seven
七
Eight
八
Nine
九
Ten
十
Salt water is a great conductor of electricity. 8th Grade Physics
盐水具有极强的导电性 初二物理知识
We had studied it. He applied it
我们都学过 只有他会应用
Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe was the Director of ICE
维鲁·萨哈斯洛布德博士是皇家工程学院的院长
Students called him Virus, computer Virus
学生们都叫他病毒 电脑病毒
Virus on the way, with eggs
病毒要来啦 还带着他的蛋蛋呢
Freshmen are summoned. Come quickly
新生集♥合♥ 快点 快点
Virus was the most competitive man we had ever seen
病毒是我们见过的最争强好胜的人
He couldn ‘t bear anyone getting ahead of him
他不能容忍♥任何人超越他
To save time, his shirts had Velcro
为节省时间 他的衬衫上都缝了魔术扣
and his ties had hooks
领带上装了钩子
He’d trained his mind to write with both hands simultaneously
他训练思维用两只手同时书写
Everyday at 2 pm he took a 7 1/2 minute power nap
每天下午2点 他会小睡7分半钟
with an opera as lullaby
同时放着歌♥剧作为催眠曲
Govind, his valet, had instructions
戈万德 他的贴身男仆 按照指示
to carry out all unproductive tasks such as shaving, nail-cutting etc
执行所有的非生产性任务 比如刮胡子 剪指甲等等
What is this? – Sir, nest
这是什么 是鸟巢 院长
Whose? – A koel bird’s nest, sir
是谁的 噪鹊（类似于噪鹃的鸟）的巢
Wrong
错
A koel bird never makes her own nest
噪鹊从来不会自己筑巢
She lays her eggs in other nests
它们总是在别人的巢里下蛋
And when they hatch, what do they do?
要孵蛋的时候 它们会怎样
They push the other eggs out of the nest
它们会把其它的蛋从巢里挤出去
Competition over
竞争结束了
Their life begins with murder. That’s nature
它们的生命就从谋杀开始 这就是大自然
Compete or die
竞争或死亡
You also are like the koel birds
你们也像是噪鹃一样
And these are the eggs you smashed to get into ICE
这些就是你们考进这里时推下去的蛋
Don’t forget, ICE gets 400,000 applications a year
别忘了 每年有40万考生报考皇家工程学院
and only 200 are selected: You;
只有200人能考上这所学院 也就是你们
And these? Finished. Broken eggs
这些呢 完蛋了 一堆破蛋
My son. he tried for three years
我的儿子 已经考了3年
Rejected. Every time
被拒了 每次都被拒
Remember, life is a race
记着 生活就是赛跑
If you don’t run fast, you’ll get trampled
你要跑不快 就被别人踩倒
Let me tell you a very interesting story
我给你们讲个有趣的故事吧
This is an astronaut pen
这是一支太空笔
Fountain pens and ballpoint pens don’t work in outer space
钢笔 圆珠笔在太空中都不管用
So scientists spent millions to invent this pen
所以科学家们耗资百万发明了这种笔
It can write at any angle, in any temperature, in zero gravity
无论何种角度 何种温度下它都能书写 甚至在零重力下
One day, when I was a student
有一天 我还是个学生的时候
the Director of our institute called me
我们研究院的院长找到我
He said, ‘Viru Sahastrabuddhe.’ I said, ‘Yes sir’
他说维鲁·萨哈斯洛布德 我说是 院长
‘Come here;’ I got scared
跟我来 我很害怕
He showed me this pen
他拿出了这支笔
He said, ‘This is a symbol of excellence’
他说这支笔是杰出的象征
‘I give it to you’
我把它交给你
‘When you come across an extraordinary student like yourself
当你遇上一个和你一样杰出的学生的时候
.pass it onto him’
请再传给他
For 32 years, I’ve been waiting for that student
32年了 我一直在等那个学生出现
But no luck
但很不幸
Anyone here, who’ll strive to win this pen?
你们之中 有人会努力来赢取这支笔吗
Good. Put your hands down
很好 都放下吧
Shall I post it on the notice board? Hands down
要我写在通告板上吗 把手放下
One question, sir
我有个问题 院长
Sir, if pens didn’t work in outer space
院长 如果钢笔在外太空没有用
why didn’t the astronauts use a pencil?
宇航员为什么不用铅笔呢
They’d have saved millions
他们能省下数百万啊
I will get back to you on this
这个以后作答
He zaps a Senior’s privates at night
昨晚他电击了前辈的老二
fingers the Director in the day. Best avoid him
今天还给院长难堪 最好离他远点
You deflated Virus’s erection
你挫了病毒的傲气啊
Your Majesty, thou art great. Accept this humble offering
陛下 您真伟大 请接受我卑微的供奉吧
Buzz off. You don’t have school?
少来 你不上学么
Who’ll pay for it? Your pop?
谁给我交学费 你♥爸♥
Keep off my dad! – Relax
别说我爸 冷静
For school you don’t need tuition money, just a uniform
上学不必交学费 只要一件校服
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