巴黎两日情（2007）

It was good? It’s beautiful. Yes, very beautiful.
好玩吧？风光明媚！ 非常明媚
Come down for lunch at one. Don’t be late. Your dad hates that!
一点午餐 你♥爸♥讨厌迟到
How’s JeanLuc? Sleeping.
咪♥咪♥怎样？ 在睡觉
Au revoir. She’s so sweet, your mother. I know.
你妈很好人 我知道
What happened to you? I don’t know.
什么事？
Having a little trouble there, honey?
有困难？
I need your help. Oh! I need a strong man to carry my suitcase.
我需要壮丁替我挽行李
Oh, I thought you wanted to be a strong, independent woman.
还以为你想独♥立♥，自己挽
Yeah, I am a strong, independent woman. I am a strong, independent woman.
对，我是强壮而独♥立♥的女人！
OK, I got it, I got it. Thank you.
得，我来挽！
So your big investment is an apartment one floor up from your parents?
你所置的物业？ 在你父母楼上买♥♥一层楼？
It’s convenient. Yeah, especially if you like privacy.
方便嘛！ 对，尤其是你重视私人空间！
No sarcasm in Paris. OK, I’ll be quiet for two days.
在巴黎不准讲反话 这两天我会安静 谢谢
You like? You don’t like?
喜欢？不喜欢？
What is it? Nothing.
什么事？
You don’t like? No, it’s really… It’s quaint.
真的…相当…
It’s not midcentury. It’s midcentury 15th century.
不是中世纪！ 是中世纪…十五世纪
No, it’s very Parisian, I guess.
富有巴黎气息
Is that a compliment? Sure.
你在称赞？
It’s kind of swampy in here. Swampy?
这处有点潮湿！ 潮湿？
Yeah, like the water at the Lido.
湿得像…像沙洲
No, I can’t… What is that smell? What is that?
什么…什么气味蹈啊！
Oh, my God. What?!
什么事！
Honey, honey!
亲爱的
Honey, what the fuck is that? Oh, it’s a leak.
什么家伙？
It’s an old building. There’s leaks all the time. There’s no plumber in France.
漏水，旧楼经常漏水 法国没有水喉佬
Is that black mould? What’s black mould?
是黑霉？ 黑霉是什么？
The deadliest fungus, if you inhale it. Don’t inhale.
最毒的菌，绝不可吸入 那就不要吸入好了
It’s not funny. I mean, seriously. All right.
不是讲玩，我很认真 什么…
It was there when I was here in January. It’s fine. It’s not black, it’s green. Look.
在一月已经出现 不要紧，不是黑色，是绿色
It’s like blue cheese. It’s probably good for you.
看！像蓝芝士一样，不要紧 甚至可能有益健康
OK, everybody out. I’m condemning the bathroom. It’s a hot zone, a biohazard.
好，出去！我要封锁浴室！危险地带！ 生化危机！
OK, we’ll shit in the corner of the room. We’ll shit outside.
我们在房♥内出恭好了 我们到外面出恭！ 好极！
Honestly, this place is like a Petri dish for allergens.
这里像过敏细菌培植场
We have allergies because we are too clean, OK?
太干净才会过敏
100 years ago we were covered in parasites and we had no allergies.
一百年前到处是寄生虫 当时的人不会过敏
Really? Yes.
真的？
Is that the same theory behind the French not bathing?
所以法国人不洗澡？
Yes.
不洗
You sure you haven’t find my lenses? No, I have not find it.
你真的找不到我的隐形眼镜？ 找不到
Which one for… My dad?
哪一个是…我爸？
I don’t feel well. I can’t tell if it’s a migraine or if it’s the flu.
我不知是头痛抑或是感冒
Can I use this thermometer?
可以用探热针吗？
I usually don’t use this one in the mouth.
我通常不含在口里
Hm? I don’t use this in the mouth.
我通常不含在口里
Come on! What is wrong with you? What? It’s a French thermometer.
离谱！ 是法国探热针
It’s the only way to get your temperature properly.
我想准确量度体温
Why? Why, with you? Ugh! I haven’t used it in a few months.
你有什么不妥？ 几个月未用过
OK, I take a shower first, all right? Make sure to take antibiotics first!
，我先洗个澡好吗？ 记得先服预防性抗生素！
I’m trying to send this design, and I think it would be faster by regular mail.
我这个设计，用平邮寄出会快点
OK.
好
You forget how slow dialup is. We’ll be back in civilisation in two days.
这处上网慢吞吞 我们两天后重回文明世界
What? That bedspread is fucking ridiculous.
，什么？ 床单难看得很！
It’s beautiful. When did you get that? Like 1982?
几时买♥♥？1982年？
’86. I don’t know.
86年吧，不知道
Looks like Nan Goldin’s bed. Stay there. No pictures.
不要拍照！
No! Oh, God… Perfect.
好极！
Lie down.
躺下
Work with me. OK, pretend you’re on drugs.
，合作点
Perfect.
好极！
Look at that.
，假装你吸毒
Oh, yeah, that’s beautiful. You’re such a talented photographer.
拍得很美，你是摄影天才
Fuck you.
顶你！
You know why people are attracted to one another?
人为什么互相吸引？ 离谱！ 真正的吸引
I try to kiss you and I get a lecture. No, I’m not kidding.
我吻你，你却讲耶稣 我不是开玩笑！
attract one another, so the offspring has a stronger combined immune system.
愈能互相吸引 所生的后代，抵抗力也愈强
Don’t snore! It’s important.
不要扯鼻鼾，很重要！
No, yeah, I was saying the same thing. It’s interesting.
我很同意 有趣的现象！
It’s like dating public television. No!
你活像公营电视台
And you don’t like that? No, it’s very educational. Really sexy.
你不喜欢？太过刻薄！ 好有教育意义，好性感！
Anyway, it’s bullshit. My parents were in love when they had me
其实是胡说八道 我父母初相识，心心相印…
and look at my immune system – it’s a wreck.
生下我，看我吧 亏佬一名
It was probably an intellectual attraction,
他们可能是思想上的互相吸引 明白
and that’s why they split up after you were born.
所以你出世，他们就分手
or whatever it is – 38 years – that somehow you’re genetically superior.
三、四十年… 因此你天生优人一等！ 看我吧，弱不禁风！
How do I make everything a competition?
我怎样同你竞争？
In Venice, while I was taking a picture of you under that bridge,
那天在威尼斯…在桥下给你拍照
you started taking a picture of me.
你反过来拍我拍你！
What is this, “shit all over Jack day”? I try to kiss you, next thing I know
什么回事？秋后算帐？我想吻你，立即就变成劣种
I’m genetically inferior, I’m a copycat with no identity of my own…
我只懂模仿，没有自己一套
I never said you were inferior… Anyway, why not take it as flattery
我没有说你是劣种 用不着说出来 我是赏识你，才喜欢拍摄
that I’m interested in phot…? Aah! OK, I love this argument.
妙论！可以辩下去吗？
Can we go on, no, because I’m enjoying this, really? It’s lovely.
我觉得愈辩愈过瘾 认真过瘾！
What?
什么事？
What is it? You’re scaring me. I’m sensing something.
我索到异象 不要吓我 不是吓你，我索到异象！
What is it? Like, I have cancer or something? You smell a tumour?
什么异象？ 我生癌？你闻到肿瘤？ 不是
No, I’m not a cancer-sniffing dog. I’m sensing that we have
像那些受过嗅觉训练的狗 我不是专嗅癌症的狗！
very different immune systems, and we should do something about it.
我索到你我的免疫系统… 截然不同 我们应该加以利用 我们的后代会很强壮
Oh, that’s nice.
会百病不侵！
But maybe in the meantime, before we do procreate, d’you mind getting a condom?
我们未努力生产之前… 拎个避孕套来好吗？
No, I got them on January.
不是，一月买♥♥
January? Were you planning on cheating on me in January?
一月 你计划一月偷食？
Actually, I was planning on having sex with you, but you cancelled
我计划一月跟你做♥爱♥
due to an eye infection. You were supposed to come to Paris, remember?
但你眼发炎，取消行程 你本来打算来巴黎，记得吗？
Oh, yeah, that’s right. Chlamydia in the eye. So rare…
对，眼睛感染了衣原体菌 很少有！
yet so sexy.
也很性感
What? What the hell is going on?
什么事？ 搞什么鬼？
What is it? Are these things even condoms?
什么？ 这是避孕套？
What else is it? I don’t know.
是避孕套啊！还会是什么？ 不知道！
OK, you’re gonna break it. Don’t pull it down like this from the tip.
不要扯，会扯破！ 从顶部套上！ 不小！
Right, this is pretty simple… Careful… Argh!
这样戴嘛 相当简单！ 小心！
I didn’t touch you. Barely.
我没有碰过你
Is this a kid-sized condom? Do they make condoms for kids?
这是童装避孕套？ 小孩也用避孕套？
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard. OK, let’s do this!
说得太幼稚！ 开工！
Great. All right, yes.
好极！
Oh, no, that’s my leg… Please!
不，那是我的腿
No. Oh!
不
I can’t see you. I could be having sex with Gregory Peck or something.
我看不到你 我怎知不是跟格利哥利柏做♥爱♥？
Well, good for you.
那你有福了！
OK, so much for foreplay.
这就算是调情！
What is it? Oh, it’s my mother!
是我妈！
Am I disturbing you?
不要紧，只是我妈！
It’s just my mother.
有没有打扰？
Don’t come in, we’re getting changed.
不要进来，我们要换衫
I came to see if you’ve got any clothes to wash.
有没有衣服要洗？
We’ll bring it down later. OK, I’ll wait.
我们会拎下去 我等着
You’ll wait downstairs? Yes.
落楼等？ 得
Thanks.
谢谢
Thanks, bye.
谢谢，拜拜
Your mother has keys? Of course. I’m away ten months a year.
你妈有门匙？ 当然有 我一年出外十个月
Do you have anything to wash? She wants to know.
你有没有衣服要洗？她想知道
No, I don’t… I don’t have… No… Oh, God…
我…没有…没有，唉！ 是机器！
I gotta take a shower cos the thing is cutting off circulation to my brain.
对不起，我要淋浴 搞到我头脑发昏，你妈妈…
Oh, nice. OK. Bye.
得，拜拜！
Oui. Dad?
爸？ 噢！
Oh, God! I’m going to start on the rabbit.
我要煮兔
I have to chop it up.
要切件
All right?
怎样？
All the sparrows in the garden have been scared off by Jean-Luc.
麻雀统统给… 咪♥咪♥吓走
Of course. He’d gobble them up.
给它吞进肚内