重返十七岁（2009）

Would you stop staring at me?
你能别盯着我看吗
It’s freaking me out. It’s freaking me out!
你把我吓坏了 这把我吓坏了
I’m pubescent!
我回到少年时期了
Okay. So, uh…
好吧 那么…
…it’s a classic transformation story.
这是个经典的变身故事
It appears in the literature time and time again.
在文学作品里无数次出现
Were you at any point shot by a gamma ray?
你曾被伽玛射线射中过吗
No. Exposed to gamma radiation of any kind?
没有 接触过某种伽玛射线
No, Ned. No?
没有 内德 没有
You wouldn’t see it. Okay.
有你也看不到 好吧
That eliminates these and those and most of that side.
那就减少了很多可能性
Are you now or have you ever been
你现在或者曾经变成过一个
a Norse God, vampire, or time-traveling cyborg?
挪威神 吸血鬼或是时光穿梭生化人吗
I’ve known you since, what, first grade?
我们什么时候认识的 一年级
Maybe I would have told you.
如果有的话我早告诉你了
Vampire wouldn’t tell. Cyborg wouldn’t know.
吸血鬼不会说的 生化人自己不会知道
Shut up.
闭嘴
Okay, if it’s not any of those,
好吧 如果不属于这些情况
I guess, um, we’re looking at your basic…
我猜 我们得瞧瞧你基本的
…spirit guide transformation magic.
灵媒变身魔术
That’s kind of a biggie, actually.
事实这可算个大问题
That is here.
找到了
When the hero…
当英雄
I guess that’s… I guess, you.
我猜这指的是…我猜是你
uh, is transformed by his spirit guide…
被他的灵媒变身
…to set him on a new path.
并重新安排他的人生
Which is what? Do I look like your spirit guide?
什么意思 我看起来像你的灵魂向导吗
The janitor.
那个清洁工
The janitor.
清洁工
You guys seen the janitor? You seen the janitor?
你们看到清洁工了吗 你们看到清洁工了吗
Do you know where the janitor is? No.
你知道清洁工在哪吗 不知道
Hey, where’s the janitor? Where does the janitor work?
清洁工在哪 他在哪工作
Excuse me! You all right, kid?
抱歉 你没事吧 孩子
There’s another janitor who works here. Just me.
这的另一个清洁工 就我一个
No, no. There’s an older guy
不 不 这还有一个
with white hair who works here.
白发的老头也在这工作
I was here yesterday talking to the janit…
我昨天还在这和他谈话
I showed him this picture of me.
我给他看了我的这张照片
You? Yeah.
你的照片 是的
That picture’s from 1989.
那张照片是1989年拍的
Right. Forget it.
是啊 算了
Alex!
阿莱克斯
Alex, buddy!
阿莱克斯 老兄
Alex!
阿莱克斯
Hello?
有人在吗
Spirit guide?
灵媒 是你吗
What am I supposed to do?
我该怎么办
Don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
我不知道该怎么办
I got shot. Did I get shot or did I get…? Someone got powned.
我被打中了 我被打中了吗…有个兵被♥干♥掉了
It’s a grenade. Ned.
是个手榴弹 内德
Aah! Oh, sorry. Teenage you.
什么 唉 年轻版的你
I figured it out. I figured out what I’m supposed to do.
我想明白了 我知道该怎么做了
I figured out what my spirit guide wants me to do.
我知道灵媒要我做什么了
I’m going back.
我要回去
I’m going back to high school, Ned!
我要重回高中
No! No, no. No way.
不不 这不可能
Your spirit guide would not waste transformation magic…
你的灵媒不会将变形的魔法浪费在
…On you reliving your senior year and going to prom. No.
让你重回高中和做返校节国王上 不可能
Ned, this is my chance to have my life over, but to do it right.
内德 这是我重塑人生的机会 让一切变好
Wouldn’t you, if you had the chance? No.
换作是你 也会这么做吧 不会
I’m rich, and nobody stuck my head in a toilet today.
我很富有 今天没人找我麻烦
Sure. Besides, it’s not just about me.
是吗 再说这也不光是为了我自己
It’s about you. No, it’s much bigger than me.
是为了你 不 远不只是为了我
It’s about you. Okay, maybe it’s about me…
就是为了你 好吧 或许是为了我
…But what’s wrong with that?
但那又有什么错
I have not done anything for me since 1989.
1989年以后我就没为自己活过
You do what you have to do.
你爱怎么着都行
But don’t think about sucking me into this with you.
但是别让我和你一起趟这浑水
Hayden was the low point of my existence…
海顿高中是我人生的低谷
…And I vowed I would never go back to that godforsaken place!
我发誓绝对不会再回到那鬼地方
Never, ever, ever!
绝不 从不
Never! Never, ever, ever!
永不 绝不 从不 永不
I hate you.
我恨你
Hello.
您好
I’m here to enroll my son…
我来为儿子
…In school.
办入学手续
Mark.
他叫马克
What’s up?
您好啊
So…
那么
So we’ll just have a seat till you’re ready for us.
我们先坐下等您一会儿
We’ll be right, uh… okay.
我们马上…好吧
What’s this you’re wearing?
你穿的像什么样子
This is cool. This is hip.
很酷 嬉皮士风格
I have a picture of Kevin Federline wearing the same thing.
凯文·费德林也有过相似的打扮
I don’t know who that is. What are you wearing?
我不认得 你穿的什么
I told you, like a dad. I am.
你穿的像个老爹 我本来就是
You look like Clay Aiken. Leave him out of this.
你看起来像克莱·艾肯 别提他了
Are you sure these look legit?
你确定这些不会穿帮吗
Oh, yeah. Look who you’re talking to.
当然不会 我是谁啊
I’m the guy who invented the software
我发明了软件
That prevents people from stealing music.
防止人们窃取音乐
I also invented the software that helps people steal music…
我还发明了帮助人们窃取音乐
…But that’s a happy coincidence.
但那只是个美妙的插曲
What is that?
那是什么
Oh, my g…
我的天啊
Wrong. These are for me. You kidding?
拿错了 那些是我的 你开什么玩笑
What’s-her-name and Chewie’s for me.
她叫什么名和奇威是我的
Miss Masterson will see you now.
可以去见马斯特森小姐了
Let’s go.
走吧
Just don’t try to be funny, all right?
不要闹笑话
Say as little as possible.
少说少错
Hey, watch where you’re going, toolbag.
看路 土包子
So sorry, sir. Our fault. Stan.
很抱歉 是我们不好 斯坦
Hello. I’m Jane Masterson, principal here at Hayden High.
你好 我是简·马斯特森 海顿高中校长
Hi.
你好
Hello.
你好
Hello. Hi.
你好 你好
Uh, okay.
可以了
Yeah, I think we’re good here.
可以松手了
Sorry.
抱歉
I think our hands just made a baby.
我们刚才的握手产生了爱的结晶
Excuse my dad.
请原谅我父亲
he’s not used to talking to attractive women.
他不太喜欢和迷人的女士交谈
Oh, thank you…
谢谢你的…
Mark. Mark…
我叫马克 马克
…For that flattering yet totally inappropriate comment.
谢谢你那不合时宜的恭维
Please sit.
请坐
Before we get started, I think you should know that, uh, Mark’s a bastard.
谈话开始前 我想告诉您 马克是个杂种
Excuse me?
什么
I had him out of wedlock, so…
他是非婚生子 也就是说
…I’m single.
我是单身
And I’m very rich.
钻石王老五
Okay.
好吧
Did you bring your transcripts? Oh, yeah.
你带来成绩单了吗 是的
Transcripts.
成绩单
Last school you went to was Cutler High in Connecticut.
你之前在康涅狄格州的卡特勒高中
Straight-A student. Very impressive.
是优等生 真不错
Math club…
数学俱乐部
…National Merit Finalist…
全国资优成绩总决赛
…Coney Island hot dog eating champion.
科尼岛吃热狗比赛冠军