一百样东西

-他们在做啥 -没啥 什么
– What are they doing? – Nothing, what…
他当然会开电动车
Of course he drives electric.
规程你读过了吧
You read the protocol?
-我读到200页就没读了 -他眼睛痛
– I gave up at page 200. – His eyes were sore.
很搞笑 德罗格先生 请把这写下来
Hilarious. Mr. Dröger, please write that down.
如果你们举止不当 我工作就丢了
If you misbehave, I will lose my job.
然后我就请不起保姆了
And then I can’t pay my nanny,
然后我的保姆就请不起她的保姆了
and my nanny can’t pay her nanny either,
引发一连串毁灭性的经济反应
triggering a devastating economic chain reaction
最终导致右翼人士当选总理
leading to the election of a right-wing chancellor.
你们听懂了吗
Did you hear me?
贝希特先生 请你总结一下我刚刚说的
Please, Mr. Becht, the executive summary.
让你们说话的时候再说话
Only speak when you are addressed.
你们要展示出友好的德式礼仪
You will show friendly, un-German behavior.
有人说笑话 你们就要给出恰当的笑容
When a joke is made, you will laugh appropriately,
但是你们自己不要说笑话
but refrain from making jokes yourself.
嗨 伙计们
见到你们真高兴
-你是 -我是东尼
很高兴认识你
所以这些都是你的创意
不是 我搞经营 这创意是他的
这样啊
我是戴维
终于见到你了 真高兴
-在第四页 我们建议 -等等
抱歉打断了你们 但我想试试这个小家伙
最新型的东西
你们听懂了吗
这玩意有作用吗
看到了吧 这就是未来
把法律文书收起来吧 太无聊了
我们很高兴支持了你们 这个主意太棒了
有人该告诉他那东西在说芬兰语吗
Should someone tell him it’s speaking Finnish?
我今天来这里 就是想握手达成协议
如果你们确实还想卖♥♥
现在 我能说了吗
Now… May I?
可以 当然
Yes, of course.
戴维先生
是的
Yes
不是
No
什么
Pardon？
他说是
He means yes.
不是
No
不好意思 这个可能坏了 我只听到”不”
是
Yes
不是
No
是
Yes
不是
No
是
Yes
-你发什么疯 -等一等
– Are you mad? – Just wait.
干嘛
What?
我懂了
我能问问是谁吗
我恐怕不能说
谷…厄
所以我猜你们的应用刚刚涨价了
不
他们不想买♥♥这个应用 他们要买♥♥整个公♥司♥
多少钱
1400万
啥 抱歉
What? Sorry.
抱歉 戴维
-我强烈建议你不要… -行
1400万
你是个好人
真是个好人
你疯了吗 1400万
Are you out of your mind? 14 million!
有人在你脑子里拉屎了吗
Did someone open your skull and take a dump in it?
-1400万 -你听到我说话没有
– 14 million! – Can you even hear me?
你有没有在听我说话
Can you hear what I’m saying?
1400万欧元 保罗 你说吧
14 million euros, Paul. Your turn.
你想怎么样就怎么样是吧
You just do what you want, huh?
背着我达成协议 你怎么不告诉我
Making big deals behind my back. Why didn’t you tell me?
-因为我们没达成协议 -啥
– Because there is no deal. – What?
我在虚张声势
I was just bluffing.
什么
What?
得了吧 他明白的 他又不是傻子
Come on, he knows. He’s not stupid.
但他仍然无法拒绝
But he still can’t say no.
-为什么 -因为他想要数据
– Why? – Because he wants the data.
他才不管我们的应用是不是滑稽可笑
He doesn’t care that our app is cute and makes people laugh.
数据就是他的金钱
His currency is data.
这是我的应用 我发明的应用
It’s my app! I invented it!
多亏了我 现在它值1400万欧元了
And thanks to me it’s now worth 14 million euros!
不是钱的问题 我们想做的是
But it wasn’t about the money. We wanted
真正造福于民
to do something good for people.
保罗 拜托你别发牢骚了
Paul, please stop whining.
人们根本就不知道什么是福
People don’t even know what’s good for them.
他们想要一个东西 却做着另外的事
They want one thing and do another.
幸福并不存在 我们只要依靠
Happiness doesn’t exist. All we need
直觉和纪律就能赢
to win are instincts and discipline.
你去死吧 就只知道输赢
To hell with a system that’s all about winning.
-这就是为什么你总是输 -我从不输
– That’s why you always lose. – I don’t lose.
-你才会输 -等等 谁押了保罗那边
– You do. – Wait, who bet on Paul?
没有人吗
Nobody?
为什么会这样呢
Why would that be?
行了两位 难道现在不该庆祝吗
OK guys, isn’t it time to celebrate?
说到点子上了 你真的该谢谢我
Finally! You should really thank me.
来 我们开香槟
Come on, let’s drink the champagne now.
我刚刚给这傻子赚了一大笔钱
I just made this dump a fortune.
我可不想荒废时间争论谁的屌♥长
I don’t want to waste my time measuring dicks.
对 因为我们都知道谁会输
Yeah, because we all know who’d lose then.
你说什么
Pardon?
也许正因如此 你才需要虚张声势
But maybe that’s why you have to inflate your ego like that.
-我还没有降到那个层次 -最好还没有
– I’m not sinking to that level. – Better not to.
这不是尺寸的问题
It’s not a matter of size.
这是相对的 在亚洲你就是王者
It’s relative. In Asia you’d be king.
你的包皮就一半长
Yours is half foreskin.
至少我还有
At least I have one.
你这样说是不符合犹太习俗的
That’s anti-Semitic.
现在你又是犹太人了
Now you’re Jewish again?
老子屌♥好得很
My cock is fine!
谁说的
Says who?
好几个人都不约而同地确认过
Several sources independently confirmed it.
是吗 都是谁
Oh really? Who?
比如安娜·克洛斯克
Anna Kloske, for example.
-我拿整个身家下注 -什么
– I’m betting everything. – What?
我们还剩20天 我押上我全部股份赌你输
We have 20 days left. I’m betting all my shares on you losing.
什么
What?
来啊 你不是玩家吗 赢家通吃
Come on, you player, winner takes all,
员工们拿一半
and the staff gets half.
但是不能作弊 你能做到吗
But without cheating. Can you manage?
不准再指使贝蒂帮你作弊
No more orders with Betty.
-你在说什么 -别装了 我不傻
– I don’t know what you mean. – Come on! I’m not stupid.
冰箱里的大虾和白葡萄酒 眼药水
Scampi and white wine in the fridge. Eye drops?
-那就是作弊 -那是作弊
– That’s cheating. – Cheating?
-是谁在交易 -是谁把好几样东西算作一样
– Who keeps trading? – Who keeps counting things as one?
-你说什么 -你的生发药片
– Like what? – Your hair pills.
-一片算一样东西吗 -是
– Should I count every pill? – Yes.
我想看看你选哪样
I’d like to see what you choose,
你的头发还是1400万
your hair or 14 million euros.
你的手♥机♥里面就有40样东西
Your phone counts as 40 things in one!
行
OK. Fine.
从午夜开始
From midnight:
不用手♥机♥ 不许交易 所有东西都计数
no cell phone, no trading, everything counts,
不准从办公室拿任何东西
nothing from the office.
如果被抓到 马上就输
If you get caught, you lose immediately.
成交
Deal.
-嘿 -你说午夜之后
– Hey! – You said after midnight.
对不起
Sorry.
-你是不是疯了 -为什么
– Have you completely lost it? – Why?
他让你这么做的吗
Did he put you on my case?
不是
No.
那你为啥要监视我 不是他
Why are you spying on me, not him?
你输的几率比较大
Greater likelihood of meltdown.
不知廉耻
Shame on you.
-你们全都不知廉耻 -1400万
– Shame on all of you! – 14 million?
友谊是有极限的