情色自拍（2008）

莱斯特·”骚扰者”·鸡♥巴♥事
Lester “The Molester” Cockinshtuff.
不 哇
No. Wow.
这是我听过的最棒的艺名 伙计
That is the best porn name I’ve ever heard, man.
我能有艺名?
I can have a porn name?
那我要叫彼特·琼斯 好的
Then I’ll be Pete Jones. Okay.
你是祖母内♥裤♥吗?
Are you Granny Panties?
是的 真♥他♥妈♥的是吗?
She is. Get the fuck out of here.
那条内♥裤♥就在这里
The panties are actually in the house.
我去拿 哇
I’ll get them. Whoa.
《星球大操2:阴♥道♥进攻》
Star Sex 2: The Wrath of Cunt.
我们又没拍星操1
We never made a Star Sex 1.
我想那我们就先别拍
I guess we can lose Star Sex 3:
《星操3:老二归来》了
The Search for Cock, then.
茧逼 那是什么?
Cocunt. What’s that?
逼里有茧子
It’s Cocoon with a cunt.
德莱尼说你有什么特殊才能
So Delaney tells us you have a special talent of some sort.
我不知道这叫不叫特殊才能
I don’t know if I’d call it a special talent,
这是我在单身派对表演时
but it’s a little something
学会的小把戏
I picked up doing bachelor parties.
演给你们看可能要容易一点
It would probably be easier if I just showed you.
很好 地板归你
Great. The floor is yours.
电影? 应该挺好玩的
So a movie, huh? That could be fun.
天操的
Holy fuck.
她的名字叫泡沫
Her name, Bubbles.
《便壶入侵》?
Invasion of the Potty-Snatchers?
就跟《幽默大♥师♥》一样蠢
That’s like MAD Magazine stupid.
去你的 你想个好的
Well, fuck you, okay? You try to
科幻毛♥片♥名字试试 很难的
think of a good sci-fi porno title. It’s hard.
一定有个好的我们还没想到
There’s gotta be one we haven’t thought of,
不下流到爆 不会让人不舒服
not be ridiculously filthy and off-putting,
还能让人一眼就看出是毛♥片♥
and still have instant recognition with our audience.
想到了 想到了
I got it. I got it.
《星球大干》 是的 挺搞笑对吧?
Star Whores. Yeah. It’s funny, right?
看 我们觉得这会有更大市场
See, we figured this opens us up to a bigger sales market
不限于我们的同学
beyond the people we went to school with.
喜欢漫画 科幻小说的人都行
People who like comics and sci-fi.
漫画? 比如《齐格》吗?
Comics? Like “Ziggy”?
《齐格》? 这玩意现在还印纸上吗?
“Ziggy”? Is that even in fucking papers anymore?
不 伙计
No, man.
去你的 《齐格》是漫画
Fuck you. “Ziggy” is a comic,
仅次于《家族马戏团》
right next to “Family Circus.”
不 像蜘蛛人那种的 懂吗?
No, like Spider-Man and shit, you know?
那些漫画秀上
There’s always a shitload of Star Wars nerds
总有扮成星战角色的讨厌鬼
at those comic-book shows.
那我们就卖♥♥给他们一个莉娅公主
So we sell them a Princess Leia
让他们可以操
they can really fucking jerk off to.
那就是我 “力压我”公主
That’d be me, Princess Lay-Her.
我演谁?
Who am I playing?
我的朋友 你是主角”霸天虎干男”
You, my friend, are the lead role of Lubed Guy-Baller.
伙计 他要上男人?
Man, he’s gonna be balling dudes?
我想你说过这是男对女的
I thought you said this was boys on girls.
如果我非得上男的
If I have to fuck a guy,
那倒也无所 但我愿意上女孩
okay, but I’d rather fuck a girl.
你怎么了 孩子?
What’s wrong with you, boy?
我们把名字改成”干天” 干天
We’ll change the name to Sky-Baller. Sky-Baller.
我演”低又深”
I will be Hung So-low.
德莱尼 我的朋友 你演”跪地弯腰”
Delaney, my friend, you are On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over.
伙计 我不能演毛♥片♥ 我老婆会杀了我
Man, I can’t be in no porno. My wife will kill me.
狠插♥我♥吧 “跪地弯腰” 我只要你插
Hump me, On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over. You’re my only hump.
去我老婆的
On the other hand, fuck my wife.
不幸的是 “跪地弯腰”
Unfortunately, On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over
在电影里没有性场面
does not have any sex in the movie
但机器人有 “I-CUP”和”R2-T-Bag”
but the droids do, I-CUP and R2-T-Bag.
我是机器人
I robot.
而斯黛西要演”达尔斯按♥摩♥棒♥”
And Stacey over here is gonna play Darth Vibrator.
我演坏男人? 她不是男人 扎克
I’m the bad guy? She’s not a guy, Zack.
这我知道 因为我不是个傻子
I know that because I’m not a fucking idiot.
在我们的电影里
In our movie,
“达尔斯按♥摩♥棒♥”是个坏女孩
Darth Vibrator is a bad girl
她想操银河
who wants to fuck the galaxy,
这就要靠”霸天虎”和”低又深”
literally, and it’s up to Lubed and Hung
的老二来阻止她了
to stop her with their cocks.
那你要和我做♥爱♥了? 是的
You and me get to have sex, then? Yeah.
酷 我知道 这不是很棒吗?
Cool. I know. Isn’t that awesome?
等等 等等 电影里都谁和谁做?
Hold up, hold up. So who’s all having sex with who in movie?
昨晚说的是我要跟扎克做♥爱♥
As of last night, I was having sex with Zack.
什么? 星战里汉索罗与莉娅公主
What? Han Solo ain’t never had no sex
可没做过爱
with Princess Leia in the Star Wars.
伙计们 这不是严格的翻拍
Guys, this isn’t a literal adaptation here.
更像是色情重演绎
It’s more of an erotic re-imagining.
就像绿野仙踪或打油诗 加上肛♥交♥
Kind of like The Wiz or like a parody. With lots of anal.
酷 我知道 不是很棒吗?
Cool. I know, isn’t that awesome?
我有个问题 “力压我”公主
I have a question, do Princess Lay-He
和”霸天虎干天”要做♥爱♥吗?
and Lubed Sky-Baller have sex?
呃 不 因为他们是兄妹
Uh, no, because they’re brother and sister,
而在米莉看来 兄妹是不能做♥爱♥的
and according to Miri, brothers and sisters can’t fuck.
但你说 这不是严格的翻拍
But you said, that this wasn’t a literal translation,
这意味着莱斯特演的角色
so that means Lester’s character
可以跟米莉的角色上♥床♥
could have sex with Miri’s character.
我真的很想在电影里 舔她的逼
Because I would love to fucking eat her ass
狂上她
and fuck her silly in the movie.
继续作梦吧 伙计 没门 好吗?
Dream on, pal, it’s never gonna happen, okay?
不 我看行 看 她看… 等等 什么?
No, I’m fine with it. See, she’s fine-Wait, what?
是的 忽然之间
Yep. I mean,
他们都跟这部电影里的
everyone else is having sex with more than one person
不止一个人做♥爱♥
in this movie all of a sudden,
所以我认为 如果我只上你这不公平
so I think it’s, you know, not fair if I’m only fucking you.
我能跟你谈谈吗?
Can I talk to you for a sec?
听着 米莉
Look, Miri,
这里的性♥爱♥多的是
we got plenty of sex going on in this thing,
你不必这么做
you don’t have to do that.
扎克 没事的
Zack, it’s fine.
我跟比莱斯特丑得多的人都睡过
I mean I have slept with way worse-looking guys than Lester.
我只想像他们一样
I just wanna do my part
为这部电影尽自己的一份力
for the movie like everyone else.
你在电影里也要做的 不用再多搞
You’re having sex in movie,you needn’t to fuck someone else.
你很好 但我只跟你做
You’re good. I’m only fucking you, though.
我们不该广撒网保持公平吗?
So don’t we need to vary it up to keep it fair?
什么公平? 我不 什么? 对谁公平?
Fair for–? I don’t-What? Fair for who?
我们在谈的这是什么鸟东西?
What are these, blood diamonds we’re talking about?
对那些跟多于一人做♥爱♥的家伙公平
Fair for everyone else who is fucking more than one person,
也就是电影里的你
a.k.a. you, in the movie.
我是指 好吧
I mean, fine-
好了 我是说 如果你不在乎
All right. I mean, if you don’t care–
我他妈才不在乎你上不上他
I don’t fucking care if you fuck him.
我♥操♥ 鸟都不带鸟的
Fuck. I don’t give a shit.
如你所说
Like you said, you know,
你上过比莱斯特还要白♥痴♥的家伙
you’ve fucked bigger idiots than Lester.
真♥他♥妈♥的 我们真要在外太空拍这个?
Holy shit. Are we really gonna shoot this in outer space?
也许不比他白♥痴♥
Maybe not bigger idiots.
谢谢
Thank you.
卡 好了 伙计们 就这样 是的
Cut. All right, guys, that’s it. Yeah.
确保把服装留下
Make sure you leave your costume
以保证它们明天能在
so we know they’re here for tomorrow.
大家伙儿
Mostly, everybody,
非常感谢你们帮我们准备
thank you so much for helping us get ready, you know.
清扫这里
Cleaning this place out,
搭摄影棚 缝服装 这真是
building the sets, sewing the costumes, it’s just–
我是说 这真的很感人 谢谢
I mean, it’s really amazing. Thank you.
说真的 谢谢
Seriously, thanks.