电子情书（1998）

你觉得这很滑稽 是吗
It’s funny to you, isn’t it?
在你眼里一切都是玩笑
Everything is a joke to you.
请你离开
Please leave.
拜托你离开 我求你了
Please, please leave, I beg you.
谢谢
Thank you.
你知道那条手帕让我想起了什么吗
You know what that hanky reminds me of?
我第一次遇见你的那天
First day I met you.
你第一次说谎骗我的那天
First day you lied to me.
-我没骗你 -你骗了
– I didn’t lie to you. – You did too.
-不 我没撒谎 -你撒谎了
– No, I didn’t. – Yes, you did.
-我没有 -你有
– I did not. – You did too.
-我没有 -你有
– I did not. – You did too.
-我真没骗你 -你就是骗了
– I did not. – Yeah, you did too.
我当时还觉得福克斯那段说得真好 福 克 斯
I thought all that Fox stuff was so charming. F-O-X.
我又没说谎
I didn’t lie about it.
-“乔 叫我乔就好” -是啊
– “Joe? Just call me Joe.” – Sure.
你就像那种年轻的傻姑娘一样 连自己姓什么都不知道
As if you were one of the stupid 22-year-old girl with no last name.
“你好 我是金伯莉”
“Hi, I’m Kimberly.”
“你好 我是珍妮丝”
“Hi, I’m Janice.”
难道她们不知道人都得有个姓吗
Don’t they know you’re supposed to have a last name?
就好像她们那一代人都是酒吧服务员一样
It’s like there an entire generation of cocktail waitresses.
听着
Look.
我才不是什么二十二岁的酒吧服务员
I am not a 22-year-old cocktail waitress.
我不是这个意思
That’s not what I meant.
我那天说的那些关于会员店和橄榄油的话
And when I said the thing about the Price Club and cans of olive oil…
也不是那个意思
that’s not what I meant.
你这个可怜的大富豪 我真为你感到难过
You poor, sad multimillionaire. I feel so sorry for you.
我大胆猜测一下 他也不是你要等的人吧
I’ll take a wild guess that’s not him, either.
所以你到底在等谁
So who is he, I wonder?
肯定不是那位全世界
Certainly not the world’s greatest living expert…
最了解罗森堡夫妇事件的专家吧
on Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.
而是完全不同的人
But somebody else entirely different.
你也会对他恶言相向吗
Will you be mean to him too?
不 我不会的
No, I will not.
因为今晚要来的人跟你完全不一样
Because the man who is coming here tonight is completely unlike you.
今晚要来的人既友善又风趣
The man who is coming here tonight is kind and funny.
他有着绝妙的幽默感
He’s got a most wonderful sense of humor.
但是…
But…
他没来
he’s not here.
他要是没来 那必然是有原因的
Well, if he’s not here, he has a reason…
因为他这个人一点也不粗鲁或大意
because there is not a cruel or careless bone in his body.
不过我也不指望你能理解这种人
But I wouldn’t expect you to understand anybody like that.
你和你那家主题乐园般的 千篇一律的
You with your theme park, multi-level,
多极化咖啡公园都是一样的不可理喻
homogenize-the-world Mochaccinoland.
你自欺欺人地认为自己是某种行善者
You’ve deluded yourself into thinking that you’re some sort of
把书籍带给了大众
benefactor bringing books to the masses.
但没有人会记住你 乔·福克斯
But no one will ever remember you, Joe Fox.
或许也没有人会记住我
And maybe no one will remember me, either.
但很多人都记住了我妈妈
But plenty of people remember my mother.
他们觉得她人很好
And they think she was fine.
而且觉得她的店很特别
And they think her store was something special.
你只不过是徒有其表
You are nothing but a suit.
我该走了
That’s my cue.
晚安
Good night.
♪做梦吧♪
♪Dream♪
♪一梦解百忧♪
♪When you’re feeling blue♪
♪做梦吧♪
♪Dream♪
♪一梦消千愁♪
♪That’s the thing to do♪
♪看着烟圈悠悠升起♪
♪Just watch the smoke rings rise in the air♪
♪你会在那里找到属于你的回忆♪
♪You’ll find your share of memories there♪
没有新邮件
♪所以 做梦吧♪
♪So dream♪
♪梦里偷浮生♪
♪When the day is through♪
♪做梦吧♪
♪Dream♪
♪美梦或成真♪
♪and they might come true♪
♪天无绝人之路♪
♪Things never are as bad as they seem♪
所以当那个代理商跟我要六十万的时候 我跟她说
So then the agent asks for $600,000 and I said to her:
“你要我一下子预付这么多钱给一个…
“If you think I’m even going to talk to you…
前一本著作被人当三脚架用的作者
about paying that kind of advance for an author…
♪所以做梦吧♪
♪So dream♪
如果你觉得这事有的商量
whose last book is being used as a trivet all over the world…
♪做梦吧♪
♪Dream♪
那你就是疯了”
you are completely crazy.”
她尖酸刻薄 咄咄逼人
She was insulting and provocative
她唯一让我喜欢的地方
and the only thing pleasant about her…
就是她散在前额的刘海
was the way that her hair fell across her forehead.
是啊 但在令人厌恶的外表下
Yeah, but I mean, underneath that disagreeable exterior,
-她可能会是一个… -真正的贱♥人♥
– There may, you know she may turn out to be– – A real bitch.
我们别谈这个了
Let’s not talk about it.
我要回办公室了
I’m gonna go back to the office
你应该也有工作要处理吧
and I’m sure you have some work you have to do.
其实并没有
Not really.
这地方就像个运转良好的机器 我的朋友
This place is a well-oiled machine, my friend.
所以 怎么样
So? What happened?
他没出现
He never came.
他放了你鸽子
He stood you up.
我不会那么描述
I wouldn’t exactly characterize it that way.
我觉得是出了事
I think something happened.
他遇到了一些糟糕的意外 所以没法来…
Something terrible and unexpected that made it impossible for him to….
万一他来了 看了我一眼 然后走了呢
What if he showed up, he took one look at me and left?
不可能吧
Not possible.
可能是出了地铁事故
Maybe there was a subway accident.
没错
Absolutely.
他搭了地铁 然后地铁被困在地下了
A train got trapped underground with him inside.
他还没电♥话♥
And no phone.
-你也知道列车高速行驶时会产生吸力 -早上好
– And you know how those express trains create suction. – Morning.
他被吸进轨道了
He got sucked onto the tracks.
第三轨
The third rail.
他死定了
He’s toast.
怎么回事
What happened?
他没能赴约
He was unable to make it.
他放你鸽子了吗
He stood you up?
也可能是他出了车祸 毕竟那些出租车司机都是疯子
Maybe he had a car accident. Those cab drivers are maniacs.
是啊 车可能撞到了什么
Yeah, you mean they hit something
然后他人撞上了塑料隔板
and you slam into that plastic partition.
或者是他手断了 上了夹板 所以没法拨号♥
Or his elbows could be in splints, so he couldn’t really dial.
或者是他失去意识了
Or he could be unconscious.
昏迷不醒
In a coma.
被困在重症监护室
Stuck in intensive care.
心电监测仪还在哔哔地响
With that heart monitor beeping.
而且…
And like….
-没有电♥话♥ -没有电♥话♥
– No phone. – No phone.
怎么了
What?
警方抓获屋顶杀手
你想说什么
What are you saying?
可能是他
It could be.
他就在离咖啡馆两个街区的地方被捕
He was arrested two blocks from the café.
有照片吗
Is there a picture?
警方抓获西区屋顶杀手嫌疑人
这样就解释得通了
So that explains it.
他在监狱
He was in jail.
但那里也有电♥话♥啊
And there was a phone.
但他只能打一通电♥话♥ 所以他打电♥话♥找律师了
But he only got one call, so he called his lawyer.
算你走运
You are so lucky.
你可能会送命
You could be dead.
他不可能是屋顶杀手
He couldn’t possibly be the Rooftop Killer.
你当时还以为弗兰克是智能炸♥弹♥客呢
Remember when you thought Frank might be the Unabomber?
那不一样
Well. That was different.
你一个人在那坐了多久
How long did you sit there all alone?
-没多久 乔·福克斯来了 -乔·福克斯
– Not long. Joe Fox came in. – Joe Fox?
我不想谈这事 我们开始工作吧
I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just get to work.
肯定有事可做