我为玛丽狂

他们疯了吗 她是大肥婆
What are they, desperate? She’s a whale.
别忘了 日本人崇尚相扑 新娘越肥越值钱
Don’t forget. it’s a sumo culture. They pay by the pound there.
像吞拿鱼
Sort of like tuna.
怎么会 你说她单身
What happened to…? You said she was single.
-还未婚 -你曾有机会 却轻轻放过
-Remember. no rock? -You had your window. Ted. You blew it.
我曾有机会
I had my window?
对不起 伙计 这只是 你完全错了
I’m sorry, buddy. It’s just, you know, you’re taking this all wrong.
你自♥由♥自在 我也自♥由♥自在
Okay? I mean, come on. you’re liberated. I feel liberated.
你常以为自己错过良缘 但…
I mean. you’re in therapy thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever…
其实你给拉链夹住这事
…and it turns out that getting your dick stuck in your zipper…
才值得回忆
…was the best thing that ever happened to you.
-大声点吧 -对不起 但事实如此
-Say it a little louder? -I’m sorry, but it was.
我从没告诉你拉链的事
I never told you that.
老天 我们之间只隔了四个镇子
Christ. Ted. I was only four towns away.
-借过 -没关系 宝贝
-Excuse me. -Oh. sure, sweetheart.
老兄 我得走了
Oh, man. I gotta go.
早上6点就得起来 去帮老板的哥哥搬家
I gotta get up at 6 a.m. and help my boss’s brother more into his apartment.
-你老板的哥哥是谁 -不知道 从未见过他
-Your boss’s brother? Who’s that? -I don’t eren know. I never met him.
泰特 快写完小说 辞掉那个愚蠢杂♥志♥社的工作
Ted, you gotta finish that novel so you can quit that stupid magazine.
是的
Yeah.
打得好
Nice swing.
天 打中房♥子
Christ. hit a house.
我很久没打球了
I haven’t swung the wrenches in a while.
你可否教我几招
Would you mind giving me some pointers here?
可以 别人打球时 别作声
Yeah. sure. Don’t talk in someone’s backswing.
多谢
Oh, thanks.
-我去买♥♥杯汽水 来一杯 -不 多谢了
-I’m gonna go get a soda. You want one? -No, thanks.
对不起 又来烦你…有一元零钱吗
Look. I’m sorry to bother you again. but you got change of a dollar?
没有
No.
我这只有尼泊尔硬币
All I got are these damn Nepalese coins.
你去过尼泊尔
You’re been to Nepal?
几个月没去了
Not in months.
我都不知道自己干么在那里买♥♥♥房♥♥子
I don’t even know why I bought the damn place.
-再次见到你很高兴 -我也是
-Nice meeting you again. -You too. again.
你叫什么名
So. what’s your name?
帕特·希里
Pat Healy.
想知我叫什么名字吗
Wanna know mine?
我已经知道了…你叫玛丽
I already know it, Mary.
你怎么知道的
How’d you know that?
写在你的高尔夫球袋上
Because it’s right there on your golf bag.
该死
Damn.
哇 那些是图纸
Wow. are those blueprints?
这些 是我负责的一些工程
Oh, these? They’re just some projects I’m working on.
博物馆 儿童医院
Museum, hospital for kids.
真的 你是建筑师
Really? Are you an architect?
我想当职业高尔夫球手
Just till I get my PGA tour card.
发展商会在镇子里建新博物馆
No, I mean. are they putting up some sort of a new museum in town. or…?
实话说 我已经很烦谈这些工作
Well, to tell you the truth, I’m sort of burnt-out on talking about it.
对不起
Oh, I’m sorry.
那只是工作 我更喜欢…
It’s just a job. really. Something to keep me moving.
-我热衷业余爱好 -真的 什么业余爱好
-My real passion is my hobby. -Really? What’s that?
为弱智人士当义工
I work with retards.
是不是有点离经叛道
Isn’t that a little politically incorrect?
算了 管它呢
Well, the hell with that.
走自己的路 让别人说去吧
No one’s gonna tell me who I can and can’t work with, right?
-不 我是指…-我认识一个白♥痴♥仔
-No, I mean… -We got this one kid. Mongo.
他头大如斗 但很可爱
He’s got a forehead like a drive-in movie theater. He’s a good shit…
我们不能戏弄他
…so we don’t bust his chops too much.
有一天 白♥痴♥仔走出笼外…
So one day. Mongo gets out of his cage…
他被关在笼子里
What, they keep him in a cage?
-只是限制他的活动 -限制他的活动
-Well. it’s just an enclosure. -No, but they keep him confined?
-对 -真是胡说八道
-Right, yeah. -That’s bullshit.
我也是那样说
Well, that’s what I said.
-所以我去买♥♥了一条绳子 -绳子
-So I went out and I got him a leash. -A leash?
可以晒衣服的那种绳…让他可以到处走
Yeah. one you can hook on to the clothesline and he can run back and forth…
他有很多地方可以挖掘和玩耍
…and there’s plenty of room for him to dig and play.
那孩子成长得很好
That kid has really… He’s really blossomed, you know?
我现在可以带他去看电影…
Now I can take him to movies…
看棒球比赛
…baseball games.
很有趣
You know, fun stuff.
-是的 -听起来不错
-Yeah. -Sounds cool.
是的 这对他们很好 对我更好
Oh, yeah, it’s cool for them. but for me, it’s much more than that.
对我来说这是天堂 知道吗
For me, it’s heaven. you know?
在这疯狂世界中与这些傻孩子相处…
Those goofy bastards are just about the best thing I’re got going in this…
是我最感开心的
…crazy world.
笨蛋 小心点
Hey, dipshit. be careful with that thing, will you?
-什么 -你听到了
-What? -You heard me.
你已刮花了我的钢琴
You already put a fucking nick in my piano.
好吧 我会小心点
Well, I’ll try to be a little more careful.
在我面前装无能
What. are you fading? You wimping out on me?
只是有点重
It’s just that this is a little bit heavy. that’s all.
重 我也想知”重”的滋味
Heavy? What I wouldn’t give to know what heavy feels like…
你这蠢材
…you insensitive prick.
-我是无意的 -好吧 我现在到街上
-No, I didn’t mean that. -Yeah, yeah. I’m going down the street…
-去弄点咖啡 -等等 我可以给你弄咖啡
-…to get coffee. -Wait. I’ll get you the coffee.
你能…对不起
Could you just…? Hey, I’m sorry.
说你呢
Hey, you!
你 还有家具
You with the furniture. Hey.
-我是史蒂芬泰勒和故障检查员 -噢 是的
-I’m Steve Tyler with The Troubleshooters. -Oh. yeah. Hey.
你不知道把车停在了残疾人专用区了吗
Do you know your truck is parked in a handicapped zone?
-没关系 那个家伙…-你不缺胳膊少腿啊
-Oh. it’s okay. The guy who… -You don’t look very handicapped to me.
你干么这么做
Why would you do something like that?
我没残疾 但是那家伙是…
I’m not handicapped. but the guy who has…
你明白了吗 给他来个特写
Are you getting this? Make sure you get a close-up on his face.
有个残疾人 他坐在一辆电动轮椅上
There’s a handicapped guy. he’s got an electric wheelchair.
一个在轮椅上不能动弹的蠢货 马上就回来
There’s a disabled schmuck who’s in a wheelchair. He’s coming back.
第七块锥骨左边的软骨
Tender fascial tissue left of L7.
鲍勃…
Hey, Bob?
记得玛丽吗
Remember Mary?
是的
Oh, yeah.
我记得
I remember Mary.
两个月前在一个会议上见到她
Hey, I saw her a couple months ago at a convention in Las Vegas.
你怎么会在会议看到她
How could you see her at a conrention?
当然 我是按♥摩♥师 她是骨医
Well, I’m a chiropractor. she’s an orthopedic surgeon.
她是什么
She’s a what?
她是骨科医生 仍然那么迷死人
She’s an orthopedic surgeon. and…she’s still a fox.
如果家人不想起诉怎办
What if the families don’t want a class action?
我刚才就是一直向你解释这点
God, that’s what I’re been trying to explain to you people for the last hour.
好 将我们的计划再说一次
Okay. fine, we’ll go over it again. I…
玛丽很迷人
Mary’s a fox.
-什么 -什么
-What? -What?
玛丽很迷人 什么…
Mary’s a fox? What are you…?
各位 现在散会 明天继续
Folks, here, let’s… We’ll break up. We’ll spitball this tomorrow, okay?
-你说什么 -玛丽 我的玛丽
-What the hell are you talking about? -Mary? My Mary?
它没有在日本 也没有孩子
She’s not in Japan. She has no rug rats running around.
我朋友说她很迷人 迷人的医生
My friend says she’s a fox. A surgeon fox.
我不明白 希里不是…
I don’t get it. I don’t know what you’re… Healy…
想想吧 他从没去找过他
Think about it. He never even looked her up down there.
他整天与米香饭香谈合同的事
He was there closing his deal with the Rice-a-oni people the whole time.
你的头怎么了
What’s up with your head?
过敏…与这些笨蛋周♥旋♥
Oh, I get hives tap-dancing for these idiots.
令我发疯
I get a little stressed out.
我觉得自己很傻 替你约这家伙
Jeez. you know. I feel like a royal shit because I set you up with this guy.
知道怎样做吗 打电♥话♥找她
You know what you gotta do. You gotta call her.
才不打电♥话♥ 我直接去找她
Fuck calling her. I’m going down there.
对 尽快去
Yeah. Yeah. okay. ASAP.
男友是谁
So who’s the lucky guy?
他叫帕特 在高尔夫练球场认识的
His name’s Pat. Met him at the driving range.
帅吗
Is he good-looking?
没有潘安帅
He’s no Steve Young.