我为玛丽狂

嗨 我不是要查探她 好不好
Hey, hey, hey. I’m not a stalker. I’m not a stalker, all right?
-她是我的朋友 -当然
-She’s a friend of mine. -Oh. sure she is.
所以在电♥话♥簿上找不到她的电♥话♥
That explains why she’s got an unlisted number…
十三年来没她的消息
…and you haven’t heard squat from her in 13 years.
是啊 真是密友
Yeah. real chum.
-什么 -很好 真了不起
-What…? -You’re good, Ted. Real piece of work.
你怎么…你知道什么 算了 当我没找过你
What are you…? You know what? Forget it. Just forget the whole thing.
好 我接办
Okay. I’ll do it.
若这女子有不测…我会告发你
But if this chick turns up with a toe tag, I’m rolling over on you, big guy.
好
All right.
欢迎光临迈阿密海滩
希里 你真帅
Healy, you dog.
苏立 看看你
Sully. Look at you.
真棒 你真精彩
You hot shit. You look fucking pisser.
好家伙
Hey. Hey, good fella.
-会咬人吗 -不会很大力
-Does he bite? -A little bit.
上车
Get in.
-你要找的资料 -多谢
-Here’s the info you asked for. -Thanks.
当然要多谢我 这姑娘真不好找
You know, you should thank me. That girl was not easy to find.
那么 她骗了保险金
What. did she scam you out of some insurance dough?
不 有人聘我找他高中女友
No. Some guy gave me a couple bucks to track down his high school girlfriend.
跟踪她
Stalker, huh?
对 全方位的
Yep. Bigtime.
你无法相信这里有多少漂亮妹子
You would not believe all the pussy down here.
泡她们易如反掌
It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
-是吗 你泡了几个 -没有
-Yeah? You getting any? -Nothing.
去吧
There you go.
-脱鞋 -你这是
-Hey, shoes off. -What the…?
开玩笑
Are you kidding me?
你这全是…看看这个地方
You… You are so full of… Look at this place.
-我觉得挺好 -挺好
-Yeah, I’m doing okay. -Doing okay?
我要去上班了
I gotta get ready for work.
这些垫子还有屠刀
This pad. those killer wheels.
老兄 看起来你真的改头换面了
Man, it looks like you really cleaned up your act.
是啊 怎么说的 这里有健康生活方式
Yeah. what can I tell you? It’s a healthier lifestyle down here.
头脑清晰 更容易成功
It’s easier to succeed. you know. when your head is clear.
-是的 -那些会波士顿的家伙怎么样了
-Yeah. -Those guys back in Boston?
酒肉朋友
Oh, fucking animals.
上班前我们出去喝些啤酒怎么样
Hey, what do you say we go out and grab a couple of pops before you go to work?
我不能喝
None for me. buddy. I don’t drink anymore.
是啊 你不少喝
Yeah. you don’t drink any less, right?
这是…
What the…?
那时比尔 不用担心 我上周喂过它
That’s Bill. Don’t worry. I fed him last week.
-咬人吗 -不会
-Does he bite? -Nips.
我已经坚持19个月了
Nineteen months I’ve been straight.
真的 真为你高兴
Is that right? Good for you. Sully.
一开始真是痛苦 但我坚持下来了
Yeah. it was hard at first, but I’m there. I’m there.
为你自豪 来个庆祝怎么样
Hey, I’m proud of you. How about a frosty to celebrate?
没听见我刚才说的
Didn’t you hear what I just said?
你从来都不是酒鬼 你是瘾君子
Sully. you were never an alky. You were a cokehead.
是啊 不过只要把毒瘾戒了 也就不馋酒了
Yeah. but when you quit the nose candy. you gotta quit the booze too.
谁说的 这酒很淡
Who told you that? Sully, it’s one… It’s a lite beer.
噢 这罐大啤酒会吃了你
Oh, the big. bad beer’s gonna get you.
-我担心得就是你 -你担心我
-It’s you I’m worried about. -You’re worried about me?
你把自己绷的太紧了 相信我 你这样会崩溃的
Yeah. You gotta bend a little bit, or believe me. you’re gonna break.
-你这么想 -是的
-You think? -Oh. yeah.
你得学着偶尔喝一点
You gotta learn to have a pop once in a while
这样才不会旧瘾复发
or you’re gonna fall off the wagon.
你太死板了
You’re being a fanatic.
好吧
Well, jeez…
-我可不想旧瘾复发 -不会
-…I don’t wanna fall off the wagon. -No.
-我是说 坚持了19个月后更不能 -当然
-I mean. not after 19 months. -Exactly.
天哪 你知道吗 这玩意我竟然尝着很难喝
Jesus. you know what? This shit doesn’t even taste good to me anymore.
你这烂货 我喝了它
Fuck you then. you big pussy. I’ll drink it.
泰德 看来我们找到了你的玛丽
Looks like we found your Mary. Ted.
她还未结婚
Husband: negative.
没孩子 没养狗
Children and a Labrador: negative.
身材一流
Tight little package: affirmative.
早晨好 玛格达
Good morning. Magda.
-美女 你挡住阳光了 -对不起
-Hi, doll. You’re in my light. -Sorry.
-你又整晚呆在这里 -你说对了
-So you’re been out here all night again? -Bet your ass I have.
邻里守望 这工作很重要
This is an important job, neighborhood watch is.
邻里守望 你在守望
Neighborhood watch. Is that what we’re calling it?
听陌生人的电♥话♥对话
Listening to perfect strangers’ telephone conversations.
这玩意只听半英里范围内的移♥动♥电♥话♥
This only picks up cellular phones in a half-a-mile radius.
什么意思
Meaning?
这里住了很多人
These are the people you live amongst.
我们得知道有否有怪人
You got a right to know if they’re creeps.
例如…街尾绿屋那家伙
For instance. do you know the guy in the green house down the street?
是的
Yeah.
对他的太太不忠
Cheating on his wife.
我不感到奇怪 一点都不…
And I am not surprised. I am not surprised at all…
巴夫一见他就叫
…because Puffy used to bark his balls off whenever he saw him.
你知到巴夫只对坏蛋叫
And you know that Puffy, he only barks at the bad people.
是的
Okay.
好了 我要去打一阵高尔夫球 再去见沃伦
Well, I’m gonna go hit some golf balls and hook up with Warren…
睡一会吧
…so try to get some sleep.
-再见 美女 -给你提个建议
-Okay. Bye. doll. -May I make a suggestion?
不要一大早就喝酒 你闻起来像个烂酒吧
Try not drinking so early in the morning because you smell like a gin mill.
闻起来像个烂酒吧
I smell like a gin mill?
妈妈闻起来像个烂酒吧
Does Mommy? Does Mommy smell like a gin mill?
你好
Hello.
赫拔 今天送你一个苹果
Hey, Herb. How’s it going? Apple for you today.
多谢玛丽
Thanks, Mary.
-祝你愉快 再见 -容光焕发 宝贝
-Have a good day. See you later. -Looking good, honey.
-嗨 玛丽 -比利太太 你好吗
-Hi, Mary. -Hey, Mrs. Bailey. How you doing?
她看来像个运动员
Looks like we got a jock on our hands.
-想看体育版 -谢谢
-Here, you want the sports page? -Thank you.
-保重 -各位再见
-Take care now. -Bye, guys. See you.
纳里精神病中心
玛丽 我可以要两件吗
Yeah. Remember, I have two. Mary.
给你两个半块 与其他人一样
Yeah. You can have two halves. just like everybody else.
很好
Yeah. that’s good.
-玛丽 愿意嫁给我吗 -吉米 我很想嫁你…
-Will you marry me. Mary? -I would love to. Jimmy.
但我已与费迪订了婚
But I’m already engaged to Freddie.
-谁是费迪 我 -就是你
-Who’s Freddie? Me? -Yes, you.
嫁给我 好吗
Will you marry me?
杜娜丝怎么办 把我们两个都娶
What about Doloves? You gonna marry us both?
我要吻你
I’m gonna kiss you.
你脚踏两只船
I think you’re making out pretty well there. Okay.
-多谢玛丽 -锡克 别客气
-Thanks, Mary. -You’re welcome, Zack.
-不要洋葱 -没有洋葱
-No onions. -No onions.
没有洋葱 你好吗
No onions. How are you doing?
听听这个广♥告♥
Listen to this one.
“诚征白种人医生共渡烛光晚宴”
“Seeking sensitive Wasp doctor to share candlelit dinners…
“把臂共游 合则共筑巢…”
…long walks in Coconut Grove, marriage.”
她在找死尸 要说详细点
Is she looking for a corpse? You have to be specific when you write.
要说 诚征聋哑汉…
You have to say “Seeking deaf-mute with, you know…
下♥体♥要重三磅 并有信托基金
…3-pound cock and trust fund.”
我要找个打足三十六洞高尔夫球后还有精力
I want a guy who can play 36 holes and still have enough energy…
带我和沃伦去打棒球 吃热狗
…to take me and Warren to a ball game and eat hot dogs.
香肠热狗冻啤 要够劲的啤酒
I’m talking sausage hot dogs. beer. Not lite beer, but beer.
这是我的条件 写上去
That’s my ad. Print it up.
喜欢喝啤酒和打高尔夫球的大胖子
A fatty who likes beer and golf.
呀 玛丽 世上难求这种郎君
Jeez. Mary. where are you gonna find a gem like that?
最重要就是
Okay. well. here’s the catch.
他必须不用替人打工
He has to be self-employed.
像毒贩子
Like a drug dealer?
不 我希望是…
No, I was thinking along the lines,
例如…建筑师什么的
maybe, of somebody like an architect or something.
他必须不受工作束缚
But I want somebody with freedom in their job, you know?