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他是个优秀的一等公民
He’s a perfectly good class of people
你又是从哪个小街小巷冒出来的啊
And what part of Long-Island are you from – Wimbledon?
等等
Wait.
-我要回宿舍了 -等等
– I’m going back to my dorm. – Wait wait.
-这是真的吗 -是的
– Is this real? – Yes.
那等等 我道歉 好不好
Then wait, I apologize, okay?
我必须要去学习了…
I have to go study…
-艾丽卡 -怎么了
– Erica. – Yes?
对不起 我真心的
I’m sorry and I mean it..
有心了 但我要去学习了
I appreciate that but I have to go study.
别这样 你不用回去学习的
Come on. You don’t have to study.
你不必回去的 我们谈谈好吗
You don’t have to study. Let’s just talk.
我不能
I can’t.
为什么不
Why?
因为我精疲力竭了
Because it’s exhausting.
跟你约会就像根跑步机约会
Dating you is like dating a stairmaster.
我要说的是你不必要…
All I meant is that you’re not likely to…
现在听好 我不是在评断你父母
Currently, I wasn’t making a comment on your parents.
我只是说你在波士顿大学上课
I was that saying you go to B.U.
我只是在陈述事实
I was stating a fact. That’s all.
如果那也算粗鲁的话 我认错
If it seems rude, then of couse I have to apologise…
我要去看书了
I have to go study.
你不必去的
You don’t have to study.
你怎么总说我不用学习啊
Why do you keep saying I dont have to study?
因为你就念个波士顿大学啊
Because you go to B.U.!
想吃点什么吗
Do you want to get some food?
非常抱歉我的大学没能让你满意
I’m sorry you’re not sufficiently impressed with my education.
我也抱歉我没在赛艇队
And I’m sorry I don’t have a rowboat.
所以我们扯平了
So we’re even.
我觉得我们只做朋友就好
I think we should just be friends.
我不需要朋友
I don’t want friends.
我那是客气 我一点儿也不想跟你做朋友
I was being polite, I had no intention of being friends with you.
我现在因为操作系统课业倍感压力
I’m under some pressure right now from my O.S. class.
我觉得我们应该先点东西吃…
If we could just order some food, I think we should…
你也许能在IT界大有作为
You’re probably going to be a very succesful computer person.
但生活中你却会一直孤苦伶仃
But you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t
因为女孩子都不会喜欢书呆子
like you because you’re a nerd.
我想告诉你的是 我打心底不这样认为
And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that won’t be true.
女孩子不喜欢你是因为你是个混♥蛋♥
It’ll be because you’re an asshole.
饥渴学子酒吧
哈佛大学 秋季 二零零三年
柯克兰公♥寓♥
晚上 八点十三分
艾丽卡·奥尔布赖特是个婊♥子♥
Erica Albright is a bitch.
你觉得是因为她家人从阿尔布雷希改姓
Do you think that’s because her family changed their name from Albrecht
还是你觉得所有波士顿大学的女生都是婊♥子♥呢
or do you think it’s because all B.U. Girls are bitches?
特此声明 她也许看着有34C
For the record, she may look like a 34C
但那全是丰胸内衣的作用
but she’s getting all kinds of help from our friends at Victoria’s Secret.
她只有34B 里面几乎空空如也
She’s a 34B, as in barely anything there.
全是虚张声势
False advertising.
晚上 九点四十八分
实情是她脸蛋儿还不错
The truth is she has a nice face.
我需要做点什么才能转移我的注意力
I need to do something to take my mind off her.
说着简单 可我就是想不出个好主意
Easy enough, except I need an idea.
我是有点醉了 我不会撒谎的
I’m a little intoxicated, I’m not gonna lie.
这虽不是周末之夜又有什么关系呢
So what if it’s not even 10PM and it’s a Tuesday night?
我台式机上开着这公♥寓♥的肖像影集
The Kirkland facehook is open on my desktop
有些人的肖像影集照片还真吓人
and some of these people have pretty horrendous facebook pics.
坐在这里的比利·奥尔森 他出了个主意
Billy Olson sitting here and had the idea of putting some of
说把这些照片和家禽放在一起
the pictures next to pictures of farm animals
然后让大家投票看谁更火♥辣♥
and have people vote on who’s hotter.
这主意不错啊 奥尔森先生
Good call, Mr. Olson
十点十七分
我们开始吧
Yeah, it’s on.
我不准备放家禽照
I’m not gonna do the farm animals
但我觉得火♥辣♥PK这主意不错
but I like the idea of comparing two people together.
它让整件事有种”图灵机”的感觉
It gives the whole thing
[一种可不受储存容量限制的假想计算机]
a very “Turing” feel
因为这比用数字
since people’s ratings of the pictures will be more implicit than,
代表热辣程度的网站
say, choosing a number to represent each person’s hotness
更含蓄
like they do on hotornot.com.
首先我们需要许多照片
The first thing we’re going to need is a lot of pictures.
不幸的是哈佛没有全校通用的肖像影集
Unfortunately, Harvard doesn’t keep a public centralized facebook
所以我得去各个宿舍的终端上
so I’m going to get all the images
亲自盗取照片
from the individual houses that people are in.
黑客要出场了
Let the hacking begin.
首先从科克兰开始
First up is Kirkland.
这里的一切都是公开的
They keep everything open
并允许在Apache里插入索引
and allow indexes in their Apache configuration,
所以用WGET就足以下载整个
so a little WGET magic
科克兰的影集图片了
is all that’s necessary to download the entire Kirkland facebook.
小意思
Kid’s stuff.
接下来是伊利亚特公♥寓♥
Next is Elliot.
他们也是公开的但在Apache上没有索引
They’re also open but with no indexes on Apache.
我能进行一个空白搜索
I can run an empty search
接着数据库里的所有图片就会在单页呈现出来
and it returns all of the images in the database in a single page.
然后我保存网页 摩斯拉[浏览器名]
Then I can save the page and Mozilla
会帮我保存照片
will save all the images for me.
好极了
Excellent.
进展不错
Moving right along.
大家注意一下
Excuse me, everybody.
你们现在所在的是全世界不只是哈佛
You are in one of the oldest,
最古老最排他的俱乐部之一
one of the most exclusive clubs, not just in Havard, in the world.
现在我宣布凤♥凰♥俱乐部秋学期第一次舞会开始
Now I would welcome you to Phoenix first party of the fall semester.
洛厄尔宿舍有安全防护
Lowell has some security.
需要要用户名和密♥码♥组合
They require a username/password combo,
我会直接进入因为我觉得
and I’m going to go ahead and say they don’t have access
他们没有FAS权限
to main FAS user database,
所以他们没办法察觉到这次侵入
so they have no way of detecting an intrusion.
亚当楼没有安全网
Adams has no security
但每页设限只显示二十个结果
but limits the number of results to 20 a page.
我只需修改下用在洛厄尔宿舍的程式即可
All I have to is break up the same script used on Lowell and we’re set.
昆西楼没有在线影集
Quincy has no online Facebook,
太可惜了
what a sham.
对此我也无能为力
Nothing I can do about that.
邓斯特宿舍很难搞
Dunster is intense.
那里不仅没有公共目录 是任何目录都没有
Not only is there no public directory but there’s no directory at all.
你必须进行搜索
You have to do searches and
超过二十个结果的搜索则什么都不会显示
every search returns more than 20 matches nothing is returned.
一旦有个结果 它们不会直接连接到图片
Once you do get results they don’t link directly to the images,
而是连接到个人网页或别的什么 很奇怪
they link to a PHP that redirects or something. Weird.
这估计比较难搞定 我回头再弄
This maybe diffucult, I’ll come back later.
-谢尔顿酒醒了 -你说什么
– Hey, Sheldon’s up. – What?
-好酒 漂亮的鱼 -谢谢
– Great wine, beautiful fish. – Thanks.
莱弗里特楼稍微好点
Leverett is a little better.
当然你还得进行搜索 但是
It’s still make you search but you
空白搜索会链接到
can do an empty search and gets links
有每个学生照片的网页上
to pages with every student’s picture.
但每次只能浏览一张这有点讨厌
It’s slightly obnoxious that they let you view one picture at a time.
我是不可能去浏览五百个网页
And there’s no way I am gonna go to 500 hundred pages,
一张一张地下载照片
to download picture one at a time.
因此破出Emacs编辑限制
So its definitely necessary to break out Emacs
直接修改Perl代码就非常有必要了
and modify that Perl script.
凌晨 两点零八分
搞定了
Done.
怎么回事
What’s going on?
时间正好 爱德华多来了
Perfect timing. Eduardo’s here
他有我最需要的东西
and he’s going to have the key ingredient.
-马克 -怎么了
– Mark – What up?
你和艾丽卡分手了吗
You and Erica split up?
你怎么知道的
How did you know that?
你博客上都写着呢
It’s on your blog.
哦对
Oh yeah.
你还好吧