圣诞老人（1994）

Not just because of them. There’s school.
每个人都认为… 算了 别人怎么认为不重要
Everybody thinks… No, it’s not important what they think.
就是…
It…
付你五美元怎样
How does five bucks sound to ya?
这件事你真的一定要帮我 运动小子
This is something I really want you to do for me, sport.
我想要让它成为一个秘密 你能做到吗
I want to keep this secret. Will ya do that, please?
好的 爸爸 – 好了
Okay, Dad. – All right.
太好了
Great.
你再也不用担心圣诞老人了
You don’t have to worry about the Santa Claus thing anymore.
那我什么时候拿到五美元
So when do I get the five bucks?
明天早上给你十五美元 这将是个美好的一天
15 in the morning. It’s gonna be a beautiful day.
我花了一天，给拉里
Spend the day with me, Larry B.
呜！
Oof!
啊
Huh?
镜子出问题了
Something’s wrong with the mirror.
什么
What?
秤出问题了
Something’s wrong with the scale!
打扰了 打扰了
Excuse me, excuse me.
我要绿色沙拉和… 哦 天哪
I’ll have a field green salad and… Oh, my God.
什么 – 什么 斯加特
What the… What? Scott?
卡尔文
Calvin?
对不起，干洗店
Sorry, the dry cleaner
我家附近的干洗店着火了 一些化学试剂着火
in my neighborhood went up in smoke, some big chemical fire.
我所有的衣服 扑哧 全没了
All my clothes, poof, gone.
天啊 你… 你变胖了
God. Your… Your weight.
发生什么事了
What happened?
蜜蜂叮的 我恰好过敏
Bee sting. Evidently, I’m allergic.
几乎要了我的命 不过急诊室的伙计说…
Almost killed me. But the guy at the emergency room says
肿胀会消下去的
the swelling will go down.
希望如此 我错过了什么?
I hope. So, did I miss anything?
没 我们刚好要订午餐
No, we were just about to order lunch.
太好了 我饿死了
Great! I’m starving.
我要一份沙拉和冰茶 边上放上调味品
I’ll have a salad and ice tea and dressing on the side.
生面团和土豆 油少一点 你们会做么
Pasta and tomatoes and very light on the oil. Can you do that?
我要凯撒沙拉 不要调味品
And I’ll have a Caesar. No dressing.
还要一份家常曲奇 热巧克力炸薯条 不要果仁
And one of those homemade cookies, the warm chocolate chip. No nuts.
一小块芝士蛋糕 克兰·布雷甜点…
And a little slice of cheesecake, creme brulee,
还要热的乳脂软糖圣代 多加点热乳脂软糖
and hot fudge sundae, extra hot fudge.
加在边上
On the side.
喝的呢 – 冰冻牛奶
Anything to drink? – Ice-cold milk.
斯加特 被蜜蜂叮了吗
Stung by a bee, Scott?
一只大蜜蜂
A big bee.
吃完了
Finished?
好了 记住这只是一个书写板
Okay, now, remember. This is just a storyboard.
但这是我们…
But here is our
一个预备的 透透坦克电视广♥告♥的重点
preliminary Total Tank TV spot.
好了 这是我们的圣诞老人 他在北极
Okay, now, we’ve got Santa. He’s up in the North Pole.
他已经准备好…要过圣诞节了
He’s getting ready for Christmas!
哦 不
Oh, no.
有问题么 – 就一件小事 精灵
Problem? – It’s just a little thing. The elves.
精灵怎么了 – 他们看上去很搞笑
What about the elves? – They look so funny.
他们本来就该看上去搞笑 他们是精灵
They’re supposed to look funny. They’re elves.
就我个人观点
Just my opinion.
他们不能画年轻点么… 脸上有些银色的斑点
Can’t they look a little younger with silver specks on their cheeks?
我们可以继续么
Can we continue here?
好的 今年 圣诞老人不再坐雪橇了
Okay, now this year, Santa’s not going out in a sleigh.
这次他要坐透透坦克
This time he’s going Total Tank!
等一下 没门 没雪橇圣诞老人哪都去不了
Wait a minute! No way! No way Santa’s going anywhere without his sleigh.
如果他要卖♥♥透透坦克的话 他会的
He would if he’s trying to sell the Total Tank.
是啊 那真是张漂亮的图片
Well, isn’t that a pretty picture?
圣诞老人坐着坦克走街串巷
Santa rolling down the block in a panzer.
好吧 孩子们 我祝你们今年过得愉快
Well, kids, I certainly hope you’ve been good this year.
因为似乎圣诞老人把佩尔森带回家了
‘Cause it looks like Santa just took out the Pearson home.
就这样 – 哦，请
Incoming! – Oh, please.
还有一件事 驯鹿呢
And another thing. What about the reindeer?
驯鹿和圣诞老人 圣诞老人和驯鹿
Reindeer and Santa. Santa and reindeer.
他们是不可分割的
It’s kind of a package deal.
卡尔文 – 你们不信有圣诞老人 是不
Calvin. – You don’t believe in Santa, do you?
卡尔文 让他继续讲行吗
Calvin, can we get back to the presentation?
还没说完呢
I’m not done yet.
既然我已经开始说了 你们中有人尝试着做透透坦克了么
Since we’ve opened this box, have any of you tried to build the Total Tank?
它有1♥0♥0♥0♥0♥多个零部件 即使你把它们组合起来了
It’s got 10,000 parts, and even if you do get it together,
十分钟后它就散架了
it breaks 10 minutes later.
你就得花更多的钱去买♥♥新的零部件
Then you got to spend more money to buy more parts.
我想那就正是我们盈利手段啊 – 不 不 不 不
I thought that was the whole point. – No, no, no, no.
我们要做的是开♥发♥一款 基本 简单 便宜的玩具
What we got to do is develop a basic, simple, inexpensive toy
那样子就会激发孩子的创造力
that will nurture a child’s creative thinking.
卡尔文… – 来 尝尝棕色那块
Calvin… – Here, try the brown ones.
能出来和我聊聊么
Can I see you outside a minute?
我不知道你发生什么事了
I don’t know what’s happening to you.
你开始像面团宝宝了
You’re starting to look like the Pillsbury Doughboy.
你有点精神不正常了 – 我知道 知道
You’re falling apart. – I know! I know.
我不知道我怎么了
I don’t know what came over me.
那…那就找人帮助一下 你应该去看医生的 去看精神病医师
Just get some help. You should see a doctor, a shrink.
或者营养师什么的 去找人帮帮你
A dietitian, anything. Just get some help.
好了 斯加特 时间到了 – 喔！
Okay, Scott. The time is up. – Whew!
我们来这边 查查你的脉搏 – 好的
Get over here and check your pulse. – All right.
还好吧？嗯
Okay? Hmm.
啊
Ah.
喂，不正常 我…
Well, nuts. I…
哦 没事 你的脉搏很正常
Oh, no, your pulse is great.
我不知道原因了 斯加特 你像马一样健康
I don’t know, Scott. You’re as healthy as a horse.
是啊 像克莱德德马一样
Yeah. Clydesdale.
好的 怎么了 你体重稍微增加了一点
Okay, look. So, what? You put on a little weight.
增加了一点 你觉得这只是增加了一点点
A little weight? Does this look like a little weight to you?
体重每年都会有浮动的嘛
Weight can fluctuate from year to year.
浮动 你说起来像我在吸水一样
Fluctuate? You make it sound like I’m retaining water.
我一个礼拜就增了45磅 皮特 我到底怎么了
I’ve gained 45 pounds in a week! Pete, what’s happening to me?
那你每天吃什么 – 牛奶和曲奇
What’s your diet like? – Milk and cookies.
真的 – 而且我不会把牛奶都喝完的
Really? – But I don’t finish all the milk.
好了 那就是问题所在了 试着少吃点甜食
Well, then, there is your problem. Just try to cut back on the sweets.
还有什么事么
Anything else?
毛发能长多快? 脸上的毛
Yeah. How fast does hair grow? Facial hair?
什么
What?
我早上刚刮过 下午 我就成这样了
I shave in the morning and in the afternoon, I look like this.
可能是荷尔蒙失调了
Well, it could be a hormonal imbalance.
那可以解释情绪起伏不定了 – 情绪起伏不定
That would explain the mood swings. – Mood swings?
是啊 看看我的头发 变灰了
Look at my hair. It’s turning gray.
哦 中年了嘛 伙计 经常发生的
It’s middle age, buddy. It happens.
看看你现在的身体 有头发你就该谢天谢地了
And with that body, you should be thankful you have hair.
如果你觉得困扰 你可以染色 记住要节食
Look, if it bothers you, you can dye it, and you should diet!
开开玩笑
Just kidding.
把T恤拉起来 让我们来听听心脏
Okay, up with the shirt. Let’s take a listen to the old ticker.
哇
Whoa.
好的 – 噢 好冷
Okay. – Ooh. That’s cold.
啊
Ah.
抢球！
Get it!
什么
What?
我要芭蕾舞鞋
I want some ballet slippers.
嗨 妈妈 – 噢 天啊 天啊
Hi, Mom. – Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
就这样吧 – 等一下 等等 我还没说完
Hold on now. – Wait a minute. Wait, I’m not done.
发传真给我 看上去很奇怪是吧
Fax me. Hi, hey. This probably looks pretty odd, doesn’t it?
这些孩子主动排队来找我
These kids lined up all by themselves.
斯加特，我想应该是
Scott, I think it’s safe to say
你玩圣诞老人的游戏玩过头了 已经到了不正常的地步了
you’re taking this Santa thing to an unhealthy level.
这是我的名片 给我电♥话♥
Here’s my card. Call me.
斯加特 我…我得说你开始让我害怕了
Scott, I really have to tell you that this is beginning to scare me.
再怎么疯狂我也不会… 哦 可能是我再怎么疯狂…
I never in my wildest… Well, no, okay, maybe my wildest…
不过当然在我的正常想法中我不会…
But certainly never in my normal dreams…
可是我们讲的是斯加特 我…
But then this is Scott we’re talking about.
劳拉 讲重点