金牌制作人（2005）

实际上 我们有很多事你可以干
As a matter of fact, we might have several positions for you.
我们的戏上演之前 我们可以给你一份工作
Until the show gets going, we can offer you a job here…
做我们的全能助理
as a secretarylreceptionist.
全能助理？
Secretarylreceptionist?
棒棒的
Okey-slash-dokey.
交给我吧
I can do that.
接电♥话♥
Answer telephone.
老马小布办公室
Bialystock and Bloom.
老马小布办公室 – 聪明死了
Bialystock and Bloom. Smart as a whip.
你被录取了
You’re hired!
好吧 既然他这么说 我也没……
Well, all right. If he says so, I don’t have any……
全能秘书 还有
Secretarylreceptionist and…
是否能够给这里清洁一番
maybe you can tidy up around here a little bit, too.
清洁一番 清洁一番 这个说法真有趣
Tidy up? Tidy up. Such a funny word.
什么叫“清洁一番” – 就是 弄干净
What means “tidy up?” Oh, you know, clean?
弄漂亮些
Make look nice.
明白了 乌拉可以“清洁一番”
Oh, yeah! Ulla can make “tidy up.”
好极了 你明早什么时候上班
Oh, very good. What time can you be here in the morning?
那么 乌拉每天早上五点起床
Well, Ulla wake up every morning, 5:00 a.m.
五点到七点 乌拉要锻炼
From 5:00 to 7:00 Ulla like to exercise.
七点到八点 乌拉要洗一个长长的澡
From 7:00 to 8:00 Ulla like to take a long shower.
八点到九点 乌拉要吃一顿丰盛的瑞士早餐
From 8:00 to 9:00, Ulla like to have big Swedish breakfast.
各种熏鱼吃个饱
Many different herrings.
九点到十一点
From 9:00 to 11:00…
乌拉要练习唱歌♥跳舞
Ulla like to practice her singing and her dancing.
十一点 乌拉要做♥爱♥
And at 11:00, Ulla like to have sex.
我几点来呢
What time should I get here?
十一点！ – 好！乌拉十一点来
11:00. Good! Ulla will come at 11:00.
乌拉十一点来
“Ulla will come at 11:00.”
（瑞士语）
[speaking Swedish]
（瑞士语）
[both speaking Swedish]
上帝保佑美国
God bless America.
上帝保佑瑞典
God bless Sweden.
老马
Oh, Max.
老马 她太棒了
Max, she’s fantastic.
她是我见过最美的女孩
The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.
我从未有过这种感觉
I’ve never felt this way before.
像火山在心中喷发
It’s like a volcano erupting inside of me, like…
像岩浆越喷越高 越喷越高
like hot lava rising higher and higher and……
这叫什么 老马 这叫什么？
What is that, Max? What is it?
这叫一柱擎天
It’s called an erection.
要不然你就是岔气
It’s either that or malaria.
不过没关系 这年月只要打♥针♥什么都能治好
But don’t worry, they have shots for everything now.
来 我给你看一样东西
Come here, I want to show you something.
看见什么了 – 空空如也
What do you see? Nothing.
没错
Exactly.
但是我们已经拿到必砸的烂剧
But now that we’ve got our sure-fire flop…
我们接下来的任务就是要确保二百万
it’s gonna be our job to fill that safe with $2 million.
二百万？那我们自己投多少
$2 million? Gee, how much do we put in?
我们…
How much……
我们自己投多少？
How much do we put in?
小布
Bloom…
百老汇的两大铁律
the two cardinal rules of being a Broadway producer…
第一
are, one…
排戏别投自己的钱
never put your own money in the show.
第二呢
And two?
排戏别投！
Never put your own money…
自己的钱！
in the show!
明白了吗 – 明白了
Get it? Got it.
好的
Good.
那咱们如何筹钱呢 – 如何筹钱 那就看我的了
So how do we raise the money? How? I’ll tell you how.
去找我的投资人
From my investors.
成百上千的老太太 都在看着我必亚利呢
Hundreds of little old ladies all looking to Max Bialystock…
我就是她们入土为安前 最后的愉♂悦
for one last thrill on their way to the cemetery.
行了小布 排练开始之前估计你见不到我了
So, in the days to come, Bloom, you shall see very little of me.
现在 你可以走得远远的了
And right now I’d like to see very little of you.
走吧 我自己搞定
Scram, while I get myself ready.
我马必脱 就要把自己发射到
For Max Bialystock, is about to launch himself…
小老太主题乐园去了
into Little-old-lady Land.
吉时已到
♪ The time has come ♪
变身来自异国的大情人
♪ To be a lover from the Argentine ♪
梳梳我闪亮整齐的秀发
♪ To slick my hair down with brilliantine ♪
喝一杯我祖传壮阳的 好汉酒
♪ and gargle heavily with Listerine ♪
哇嗷
Wow!
老马的吉时已到
♪ It’s time for Max ♪
把金主们的本钱凑个整齐
♪ to put his backers on their backs ♪
施展浑身解数 给她们无穷刺♥激♥
♪ and thrill them with amazing acts ♪
给老色鬼们送一份大礼
♪ Those aging nymphomaniacs ♪
没人关心 没人疼惜
♪ They were helpless, they were hopeless ♪
身边来了必亚利
♪ Then along came Bialy ♪
缺点快乐 缺点男人
♪ They were joyless, they were boyless ♪
身边来了必亚利
♪ Then along came Bialy ♪
她们是我的天使 我是她们的恶魔
♪ They’re my angels, I’m their devil ♪
是我让灰烬重燃了余火
♪ And I keep those embers aglow ♪
我取悦她们 将她们尽在掌握
♪ When I woos ’em, I can’t lose ’em ♪
当我念起咒语 她们会大喊 “下面起了火”！
♪ ’cause I cast my spell and they start yelling, “Fire down below” ♪
浪漫做武器 她们狂乱不已
♪ So romantic, they were frantic ♪
多年的祈祷有了结果
♪ Then their prayers were heard up above ♪
上苍给他们送来了 全能的必亚利
♪ Heaven sent them their Bialy ♪
而我就是爱神本尊
♪ I’m the celebration of love ♪
是谁 是谁
♪ Who is it? Who is it? ♪♪
是我 马必脱
It’s Max Bialystock!
小马！
Maxy.
下面起了火！
Fire down below!
曾经困顿无聊 曾经失落心焦
♪ We were listing, we were sinking ♪
必亚利及时出现了
♪ Then along came Bialy ♪
曾经绝望透顶 曾经夜夜买♥♥醉
♪ We were desperate, we were drinking ♪
必亚利及时出现了
♪ Then along came Bialy ♪
还不叫爸爸
Who’s your daddy?
他的浪漫武器 让我们狂乱不已
♪ So romantic, we were frantic ♪
多年的祈祷有了结果
♪ Then our prayers were heard up above ♪
他是必亚利 就是必亚利
♪ He’s Bialy, hey, Bialy ♪
他是高♥潮♥领主 治愈暖男
♪ He’s the culmination The restoration ♪
爱抚大♥师♥ 黄金手指
♪ The consummation The titillation ♪
高射炮手
♪ Ejaculation ♪
他就是爱神本尊
♪ He’s a celebration of love ♪♪
小布 小布
Bloom! Bloom!
怎么样 老马 怎么样
What, Max? What?
我搞定了 我搞定了 我筹到二百万了！
I’ve done it. I’ve done it. I’ve raised the $2 million!
现在我们来把这部大烂戏搞起来 摔个粉碎
Now all we have to do is put on the biggest flop in history.
好极了
That’s great!
绝不失败！
We can’t miss.
老马小布全新制♥作♥
新纳粹音乐剧 希♥特♥勒♥也有春天
下一笔钱三点得到账
Gotta make the next payment on the theater by 3:00 or else–
哦抱歉 走错门了
Oh! Sorry, wrong office.
必亚脱 布鲁姆
Bialystock, Bloom.
小马 小李
Max, Leo.
乌拉？ – 是呀
Ulla? Ja.
办公室出什么事了 – 如你们二位吩咐乌拉的
What happened to the office? Like you tell Ulla…
清理了一番 – 这就是清理一番？
“tidy up.” “Tidy oop?”
是呢
Well.
你哪来的时间干这么大工程？
How did you find the time to do all this?
我没吃午饭
I skip lunch.
果然
Of course you did.
真厉害 她没吃午饭
Very nice. She skipped lunch.
很好
Oh. Yeah.
差不多三笔 这笔给舒伯特剧院的
Almost three. That payment to the Shubert’s.
我拿保险箱的现金去
I’ll get the cash from the safe.
你检查下咱们的合同都签没签好
You make sure all those contracts are signed.
好的 老马
Yes, Max.