金牌制作人（2005）

这个不错 第一幕 第一场
Here’s one. Act 1, Scene 1.
“一天早晨 格里高利萨姆沙从不安的睡梦中醒来”
“Gregor Samsa awoke one morning…
“发现自己变成一只巨大的甲虫”
“to discover that he had been transformed into a giant cockroach.”
不行 这本子好得过分了
Nah, too good.
“你怎么看到我的 这可是毛玻璃”
“But how could you see me? The glass was frosted……”
等等 等等 我看过这本了
Wait a minute. Wait a minute, I’ve read this before.
我记得看过这本了 叫什么来着
I think I’ve read this one……What’s it called?
“毛玻璃奇遇”
“The Frosted Glass. ”
老马 我把昨晚看过的剧本又看了一遍
Max, I’m reading plays that I read last night, Max.
我不行了 太多了
I can’t go on anymore. It’s too much.
算了吧 咱们挖不出宝来的
Let’s face it, we’ll never find it.
挖不出宝来？挖不出宝来？
We’ll never find it? We’ll never find it, huh?
挖不出宝来？挖不出宝来？
We’ll never find it, huh? We’ll never find it, huh?
小李 小李 看这个
Leo, Leo, see it?
好好闻闻 好好摸摸 亲亲它 亲亲它
Smell it, touch it, kiss it. Kiss it!
这可是一潭宝藏
It’s the mother lode.
这是什么？烂剧本？
What is it? You found a flop?
“烂剧本” 这么形容太失礼
“A flop.” That’s putting it mildly.
简直是渣中至渣 彻头彻尾的灾难
This is a catastrophe. A disaster.
反种族 反宗教 反♥人♥类♥
Certain to offend peoples of all races, creeds and religions.
只能挺过一场的暗黑剧本
A guaranteed-to-close-in-one-night beauty.
那咱们瞧瞧
Well, let’s see it.
“希♥特♥勒♥也有春天”
“Springtime for Hitler. ”
“伊娃与阿道夫的情爱秘史”
“A gay romp with Eva and Adolf at Berchtesgaden.”
厉害
Oh, my God.
简直厉害
“Oh, my God” is right.
这简直就是写给希♥特♥勒♥的一封情书
It’s practically a love letter to Hitler.
老马 这个戏连一周都演不下来 – 一周？开什么玩笑？
Max, this won’t run a week. A week? Are you kidding?
演到第四页就得砸锅
This play has got to close on page 4.
作者叫什么来着？
What’s the author’s name again?
弗兰兹·李波肯 纽约州 纽约市 珍街61号♥
Franz Liebkind, 61 Jane Street, New York, New York.
弗兰兹·李波肯 珍街61号♥
Franz Liebkind, 61 Jane Street.
咱们出发 去把《希♥特♥勒♥也有春天》买♥♥下来
Let’s go. We’ll get the Broadway rights to Springtime for Hitler…
给他点钱咱也认了
even if we have to go as far as to pay him.
走吧
Come on.
老马 这顶帽子 我能戴吗
This other hat, Max, may I wear it?
并不能 – 为什么？
No, you may not. Why?
因为这是百老汇制♥作♥人的帽子
Because, that is a Broadway producer’s hat.
你不能随便戴百老汇制♥作♥人的帽子
And you don’t get to wear a Broadway producer’s hat, son…
除非你真正成为百老汇制♥作♥人
until you’re a Broadway producer.
你现在还不是百老汇制♥作♥人 除非
And you’re not a Broadway producer, until you–
知道 知道 除非我把一部真正的百老汇剧目做起来
I know, I know. Until I’ve produced a show on Broadway.
不过我很快就能带上这帽子 因为
But, I’m going to wear that hat, and soon, too, ’cause…
我们就是金牌制♥作♥人
♪ We’re gonna be the producers ♪
空前绝后 一场烂戏
♪ Of a great big Broadway flop ♪♪
甚好 甚好 心肝宝贝
Ja, ja, my lieblings.
吾引你来
Let me grab you, ja.
吾等有大事要做
We have work to do.
希尔达 亲爱的
Hilda, my darling…
吾已修书一封
here, I have written an important message…
定要发赴恩尼斯·施隆多夫
which must reach Ernst Schlongdorf…
西圣地牙哥大道29号♥
29 West Santiago Boulevard…
阿根廷布宜诺斯艾利斯
Buenos Aires, Argentina.
速达！从速送达！
AQAP. As quick as possible!
飞吧 希尔达 飞吧
Fly, Hilda, fly.
希尔达 汝飞赴何处？
Hilda, where are you going?
阿根廷往那边飞啊
Argentina is that way.
好了 喂食时间
Okay, chow time.
香了个香 尝完还要尝
Yummy, yummy, yummy, goes right into your belly.
咱们问问看 不过我打赌这就是咱们要找的人
It’s just a hunch, but I’m betting this is our man.
老马 他穿着德军头盔和工兵裤
Max, he’s wearing a German helmet and lederhosen.
我看见了 不要在意细节 就装看不见
Yeah, I know. Don’t notice. Don’t notice anything.
一直前进别看两边 记住了 咱们需要这剧本
Always look straight ahead. Remember, we need that play.
弗兰兹·李波肯？
Franz Liebkind?
吾从未加入纳粹！
I was never a member of the Nazi party.
吾只是听命行事 吾从未参与战事
I only followed orders. I had nothing to do with the war.
吾甚至不知有战争
I didn’t even know there was a war on.
吾等只是驻扎后方 瑞士那边
We lived in the back, right across from Switzerland.
只听过瑞士的高山调
All we ever heard was yodeling.
高山青~绿水长~
yodeling
汝是何人？
Who are you?
冷静 李波肯先生 我们不是政♥府♥的人
Relax, Mr. Liebkind. We’re not from the government.
我们是制♥作♥人 必亚脱和小布
We’re producers, Bialystock and Bloom…
我们来跟您聊聊剧本
here to talk to you about your play.
吾之剧本？
My play?
汝说的是某某之春……
You mean, Springtime for……
某人之春？
You-know-who?
正是 – 汝等以为如何？
That’s the one. What about it?
我们很喜欢 很喜欢对吧 我们爱死这剧本了
We love it. Don’t we love it? We love it.
这剧本堪称杰作 我们想把它搬上百老汇
We think it’s a masterpiece. We want to put it on Broadway.
百老汇？
Broadway?
哦 乐事中的乐事
Oh, joy of joys.
梦想中的梦想 难以置信
Dream of dreams. I can’t believe it.
吾要告诉鸟儿们 – 告诉鸟儿们
I must tell my birds. Tell your birds.
奥拓 波塔 亨兹 海蒂 沃尔夫冈
Otto, Bertha, Heinz, Heidi, Wolfgang…
阿道夫
Adolf.
汝可听说？
Do you hear?
吾等终于有望 洗刷元首之名
We are finally going to clear the Fuhrer’s name.
百老汇！
Broadway!
汝可知道 一般人吾不告诉他
You know, not many people know this…
我们元首舞姿拔群
but the Fuhrer was a terrific dancer.
真的？还真是不知道 是吧 小李
Really? Gee, we didn’t know that, did we, Leo?
不知道不知道 真是不知道
No, no, we sure didn’t.
因为汝等都被BBC洗了脑
That is because you were taken in by the BBC.
肮脏的不列颠谎言
Filthy, British lies.
他们可说过丘吉尔一丁点不好？
But did they ever say a bad word about Winston Churchill?
丘吉尔
Churchill.
狗屁雪茄 狗屁白兰地
With his cigars, with his brandy…
艳俗的画作 俗气！
and his rotten paintings. Rotten.
有这样一位画者 希♥特♥勒♥
Hitler, there was a painter.
一下午就能把一整间屋涂抹 刷两遍漆
He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon. Two coats.
没错没错
Yes, yes.
他绝对是人上之人 李波肯先生
Yes, of course he could, Mr. Liebkind…
所以我们想要做你这出戏
and that is exactly why we want to produce your play.
让大家看到真实的希♥特♥勒♥ 您所敬爱的希♥特♥勒♥
Show the world the true Hitler, the Hitler you loved.
您所熟知的希♥特♥勒♥ 心中有歌♥的希♥特♥勒♥
The Hitler you knew, the Hitler with a song in his heart.
来 弗兰兹·李波肯 在这签名
Here, Franz Liebkind, sign here…
让你的梦想成真吧
and make your dream a reality.
吾拒绝 – 吾拒绝？
Nein. Nein?
不行 – 说不行就不行么？
No. That’s what “nein” means.
首先 汝等必须信吾所信 想吾所想
First, you must prove to me that you believe as I believe…
歌♥吾所歌♥ 舞吾所舞
by joining with me and singing and dancing…
元首的最爱 “日安小舞曲”
the Fuhrer’s favorite tune, “Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop.”
没错 很期待吧
I know.
日安小舞曲？ 日安小舞曲
Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop? Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop.
不行 我不能唱什么元首最爱的
Oh, no, I could never sing the Fuhrer’s favorite–
欢乐的 欢乐的……小调
Delighted, delighted….song.
闭嘴 他眼看就要签了
Shut up, he’s almost ready to sign.
好 汝等先将裤脚卷起来
All right, first you will roll up your pants.
明白吗 – 明白 – 明白 （德语）
(speak Germany)
卷起来 卷起来
Rolling, rolling. Rolling, rolling.
不要爱惜羽毛 露出点腿来
Come on, don’t be stingy, show some leg.
很好 – 行吗
Alrighty, good. Good.
E大调？ – 还用说？
Key of E? Is there any other?
准备好 一 二 三（德语）
(speak Germany)
日安就蹦一蹦
♪ Guten Tag hop hop ♪
日安就跳一跳
♪ Guten Tag clop clop ♪
哦 亲爱的小男孩
♪ Ach du lieber Und oh boy! ♪
日安就拍一拍
♪ Guten Tag clap clap ♪
日安就打一打
♪ Guten Tag slap slap ♪