金牌制作人（2005）

放进其它开销应该没问题 – 好
I’m sure I can hide it someplace. Yeah.
反正国税局对演砸的戏也没兴趣查账
Yeah. After all, the lRS isn’t interested in a show that flopped.
说得好 好想法
Right. Good thinking.
交给你了 我先小睡一会
You figure it out. I’m going to take a little nap.
那么 算算看
Well, let’s see.
把这些扣除额加进来
Let’s see, if we add up these deductions we get…
三进位 除个四
carry the three, divide by four……
真惊人
Amazing.
太惊人了
It’s absolutely amazing.
若是处理得当
But under the right circumstances…
演砸的戏反而比大红的戏能赚更多钱
a producer could make more money with a flop than he could with a hit.
非常有可能
Yes, it’s quite possible.
如果做一出必砸的戏
If he were certain that a show would fail…
制♥作♥人可能发大财
a man could make a fortune.
这个好 – 好什么
Yes? Yes, what?
你说得好啊 接着说
Yes what you were saying. Keep talking.
我说什么了
What was I saying?
你刚才说如果处理得当
You were saying that under the right circumstances…
做出烂戏可能会发大财
a producer can make more money with a flop…
比热门大戏赚的还多 – 是这样 很有可能
than he could with a hit. Well, yes. It’s quite possible.
你只说了有可能 但是没说怎么做
You keep saying that, but you don’t say how.
这个啊 就是简单的做账技巧
Well, it’s simply a matter of creative accounting.
假设一下 你是一个缺乏诚信之人
Let’s assume for a moment, that you are a dishonest man.
如假包换 – 好
Assume away. All right.
你在做上一部戏《搞笑男孩》的时候
When you produced your last show, Funny Boy…
比你所需的成本多募集了两千元
you raised $2,000 more than you needed.
但是如果你多募集了一百万
But you could have raised $1 million…
投到你成本十万的剧里 其它的就能装进腰包
put on your $100,000 flop and kept the rest.
那如果这戏火爆了呢？ – 那你就得进监狱了
But what if my show was a hit? Well, then you would go to jail.
因为实际上你是按照一百万制♥作♥这个剧
You see, rather than 100% of the show…
那你就必须卖♥♥出一千万的票房♥
you would have sold more than 1,000%.
即使成功 这也是个不可能的数字 你无法偿还投资
So if the show’s a success, there’s no way to pay off the backers.
明白了吗 – 明白了
Get it? Got it.
按咱们这条奇谋妙计 就得做一出极品烂戏
So in order for our scheme to work, we’d have to find a surefire flop.
我们的“妙计”？什么妙计？
Our scheme? What scheme?
“什么妙计？”
What scheme?
你的妙计 你这小天才！
Your scheme, you bloody little genius!
我可不是搞阴谋
I meant no scheme.
我这只是理论上对账目做个假设
I merely posed a little academic accounting theory.
灵光一现而已
It was just a thought.
世界就是靠一次次灵光一现转动的
Worlds are turned on such thoughts.
明白吗 小布 亲爱的小布 超可爱的小布
Don’t you see, Bloom? Darling Bloom, glorious Bloom.
再简单不过了
It’s so simple.
第一步 我们找出最烂的剧本
Step one, we find the worst play ever written.
第二步 我们请最烂的导演来执导
Step two, we hire the worst director in town.
第三步 我去募集两百万
Step three, I raise $2 million.
两百万？ – 没错 一百万归我 一百万归你
Two? Yes. One for me, one for you.
老熟♥女♥们可是排队等着给我送钱
There’s a lot of little old ladies out there.
第四步 集结纽约最烂的演员 在百老汇上演
Step four, we hire the worst actors in New York and open on Broadway.
等不到你说第五步 我们就闭幕收摊
And before you can say “step five,” we close on Broadway…
带上两百万 直奔里约
take our $2 million, and go to Rio.
里约？不行 这不行的！
Rio? Oh, no, that would never work.
看你的小胆量
♪ Oh, ye of little faith ♪
在远征陷入困局时 刘易斯对克拉克说了什么
♪ What did Lewis say to Clark when everything looked bleak ♪
攀登天险珠峰时
♪ What did Sir Edmund say to Tenzing ♪
埃德蒙对丹增说了什么
♪ as they struggled toward Everest’s peak ♪
穿越特拉华时
♪ What did Washington say to his troops ♪
华盛顿对他的部队说了什么
♪ as they crossed the Delaware ♪
你一定都记得
♪ I’m sure you’re well aware ♪
他们都说什么
What did they say?
我们做得到
♪ We can do it ♪
我们做得到
♪ We can do it ♪
我们做得到 就靠我和你
♪ We can do it, me and you ♪
我们做得到
♪ We can do it ♪
我们做得到
♪ We can do it ♪
我们可以让梦想变成真
♪ We can make our dreams come true ♪
你所渴望的一切
♪ Everything you’ve ever wanted ♪
正等待你来拥有
♪ Is just waiting to be had ♪
项链蔽体 美女赤身
♪ Beautiful girls wearing nothing but pearls ♪
抚你全身 除你衣裤 让你神魂颠倒
♪ Caressing you, undressing you and driving you mad ♪
不行
No.
小布
Bloom.
小布 等等 听我说
Bloom, wait a minute now. Hear me out.
好好想想
Just think about it.
我们做得到 我们做得到
♪ We can do it, we can do it ♪
这可容不得你退缩
♪ This is not the time to shirk ♪
我们做得到 你不会后悔
♪ We can do it, you won’t rue it ♪
快告别你办公的小鸟窝
♪ Say goodbye to petty clerk ♪
你好 制♥作♥人 就是你 制♥作♥人
♪ Hi, producer! Yes, producer ♪
就是你 先生 来全力一搏
♪ I mean you, sir, go berserk ♪
我们做得到 我们做得到
♪ We can do it, we can do it ♪
只要有心 马到功成
♪ And I know it’s gonna work ♪
怎么样 小布
What do you say, Bloom?
我看如何
♪ What do I say? ♪
终于在百老汇有戏可做
♪ Finally a chance to be a Broadway producer ♪
我看如何
♪ What do I say? ♪
未来终于不是梦 一切就要被掌握
♪ Finally a chance to make my dreams come true, sir ♪
我看如何 我看如何
♪ What do I say? What do I say? ♪
我的答案我来说
♪ Here’s what I say to you, sir ♪
我做不到 我做不到
♪ I can’t do it, I can’t do it ♪
我做不到 那不是我
♪ I can’t do it, that’s not me ♪
我是失败者 我无比懦弱
♪ I’m a loser, I’m a coward ♪
胆小如鼠的我 您看不出来么
♪ I’m a chicken, don’t you see? ♪
若是用取悦女子来逼我
♪ When it comes to wooing women ♪
不如推我去刑场解脱
♪ There’s a few things that I lack ♪
项链蔽体 美女赤身
♪ Beautiful girls wearing nothing but pearls ♪
追着我 拥抱我 我会想死加休克
♪ Chasing me, embracing me I’d have an attack ♪
你这胆小懦弱的可怜虫
Why you miserable, cowardly, wretched, little caterpillar!
你就不想化蛹成蝶？
Don’t you ever want to become a butterfly?
不想振翅高飞 步向光荣？
Don’t you want to spread your wings and flap your way to glory?
不想
No.
去哪？ – 中♥央♥公园
Where to? Central Park.
呼吸点新鲜空气 新鲜空气
Gotta breathe. Gotta breathe.
我们做得到 我们做得到 – 必亚脱先生 请别再唱
♪ We can do it, we can do it ♪ ♪ Mr. Bialystock,stop this song ♪
携手同行 大成可得 – 到此为止 勿费口舌
♪ We can grab that Holy Grail ♪ ♪ You got me wrong, I say, “So long” ♪
我不是强人高手 只是你高看了我
♪ I’m not as strong a person as you think ♪
我们做得到 我们做得到 – 必亚脱先生 请看看我
♪ We can do it. We can do it ♪ ♪ Mr. Bialystock, just take a look ♪
我没有骗人天分 只是个胆小蠢货 – 香槟随便喝
♪ I’m not a crook, I’m just a schnook ♪ ♪ Drink champagne ♪
我的底线我要说 – 啤酒别想哄你我
♪ The bottom line is that I stink ♪ ♪…not ginger ale ♪
来吧 小布 别怕 小布 – 我做不到
♪ Come on, Leo, can’t you see, oh? ♪ ♪ I can’t do it ♪
你看见里约的大床 我只看见监牢的铁窗
♪ You see Rio, I see jail ♪
司机 下车
Driver, stop!
给钱
Here.
我们做得到
♪ We can do it ♪
我做不到
♪ I can’t do it ♪
我们做得到
♪ We can do it ♪
我做不到
♪ I can’t do it ♪
我们做得到 – 我做不到
♪ We can do it ♪ ♪ I can’t do it ♪
我们做得到 – 我做不到
♪ We can do it ♪ ♪ I can’t do it ♪
我们做得到 – 我就是就是就是做不到
♪ We can ♪ ♪ I cannot, cannot, cannot do it ♪
因为我知道 这件事成不了
♪ ‘Cause I know it’s gonna fail ♪♪
成不了？怎么会成不了？给自己一点勇气
Fail? How can it miss? All you need is a little courage.
你知道你像什么？你就像…
Bloom, do you know what you are? You’re like a… You’re like a…
你就像沉睡的喷泉 等待喷发 直射天际
You’re like a fountain waiting to explode and shoot into the sky.
我是喷泉？ – 对 喷泉！
I’m a fountain? Yes, you’re a fountain.
你可知道
Don’t you realize…
人只拥有此生此世是不够的 他还应该有诗意的世界
there’s a lot more to you than there is to you?
必亚脱先生 恐怕您这次是看走眼了
Mr. Bialystock, I’m afraid you’ve made a terrible error in judgment.
我不是什么栋梁之才
You’ve mistaken me for someone with a spine.
我要回白富马事务所了
I’m going back to Whitehall & Marks now.