金牌制作人（2005）

您可不只是一个龌龊老头
but you’re not just a dirty old man.
谢了
Thank you.
您还是百老汇大制♥作♥人
You’re also a great Broadway producer.
我也跟您自我介绍一下
And there’s something about me you should know.
小时候我有幸 去看过必脱42秀
When I was a kid, I had the good fortune to be taken to Bialyhoos of Forty-Two.
你看过我的戏？ -没错没错
Oh, Bialyhoos? Yes. Yes.
票根我还收藏着
And I still have the ticket stub.
哦 好怀念
Oh, look at that. -Yeah.
那时开始 我就暗暗许下秘密梦想
And ever since, I’ve had a secret desire…
要成为百老汇制♥作♥人
to be a Broadway producer.
秘密梦想是吧？
A secret desire, huh?
孩子 我分享你一点人生经验如何？
Well, kid. Can I give you a little advice?
好的先生 – 继续把你的梦想当成秘密吧
Yes, sir. Keep it a secret.
好好算账 左边顶上的抽屉
Do the books, please. Top drawer to the left.
天啊
Oh, my God!
看见没有
Will you look at that?
就这样宝贝！身体有本钱 就秀出来！秀出来！
That’s it, baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!
必亚脱先生 聊一分钟行吗
Mr. Bialystock, may I speak to you a minute?
一分钟？ – 是的
A minute? Yes.
就一分钟？ – 是的
Just one minute? Yes.
好 – 查过您的账本后
Okay. In glancing at your books–
开始！ – 我发现
Go! I noticed that–
你还有58秒 你已经浪费了2秒钟
You have 58 seconds left. You’ve wasted two seconds.
您要计时？ – 时间就是金钱
You’re gonna time it? Time is money.
好吧 我查了您的账本
Right. Well, I looked at your books…
这“剧目收入”的一栏
I looked at the columns marked “Plays Received”…
48秒 还有48秒 – 数目有点对不上
48 seconds. 48 seconds left….and I can’t make the figures…
快点！快点！ – 必亚脱先生
Hurry! Hurry! …Mr. Bialystock…
您的账本算法有问题
there’s a problem with your figures.
28秒 你快没时间了
Twenty-eight seconds. You’re running out of time.
滴-答，滴-答 – 这样不行…
Tick-tock, tick-tock– I cannot……
不行不行 -15秒 12秒
I cannot. I cannot– Fifteen seconds. Twelve.
我这样不行 – 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
I cannot function… 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
这样不行
…under these conditions.
你搞得我太紧张了 我要…
You’re making me extremely nervous. I was……
这是什么？手帕？ – 什么？这个？不 这是
What is that, a handkerchief? What? This? No, this is……
这个不是什么重要的东西
It’s nothing. It’s nothing.
既然不重要 那让我看看
Well, if it’s nothing, then why can’t I see it?
我的毯子！我的蓝毯子！
My blanket! My blue blanket!
还我蓝毯子！
Give me back my blue blanket!
还我蓝毯子！
Give me my blanket!
还我！还我！还我毯子！
Give it to me. Give it to me. Give me the blanket!
还我 拜托快还我
Give it to me. Give it to me, please.
还我 还我 还我毯子
Give it to me. Give it to me. Give me the blanket.
快 快 快给我
Here, here, here, here. Give it to me.
别慌 别慌 别慌
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic.
对不起
I…… I’m sorry.
我讨厌别人碰我的小蓝毯子
It’s just that I don’t like anyone touching my blue blanket.
没事的 小小的强迫症
It’s not important. It’s a minor compulsion.
只要我想控制还是能控制的
I can deal with it if I want to.
不过还是婴儿时候就这样了
But I’ve had it ever since I was a baby…
只要这样就特别舒服呢
and I find it very comforting.
我得躺一会了
I need to lie down for a minute now.
福无双至 祸不单行
They come here. They all come here.
瘟神你为何如此疼我
How do they find me?
嘿 孩子
Hey, kid.
嘿 呦吼
Hey. Yoo-hoo!
瞧瞧这
Look at this.
我怎么才能帮你？
How can I help you?
怎么了？
What’s wrong?
你想跳上来踩我 – 什么
You’re gonna jump on me. What?
你想跳上来踩我 – 没有
You’re gonna jump on me. No.
你就是想跳上来踩我 – 并没有 冷静点
I know you’re gonna jump on me…No. Calm down.
像踩虫子一样踩死我 – 哦天啊
…and squash me like a bug. Oh, God.
不要踩我
Please don’t jump on me.
我不会踩你 不会踩你
I’m not gonna jump on you.
冷静点 冷静点
Get a hold of yourself. Stop it. Stop it.
冷静 冷静 冷静 冷静
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
别碰我 别碰我
Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.
又怎么了
What’s the matter now?
我的歇斯底里发作了
I’m hysterical. I’m having hysterics.
一旦这样我就停不下来 停不下来 我失控了
I can’t stop when I get like this. I can’t stop. I’m hysterical.
看得出来 好了 好了
I can see that. All right. All right.
这就来 冷静点
I’m coming, I’m coming. Take it easy.
这就来 这就来 好了
All right. I’m coming. I’m coming now. All right.
我湿透了 我湿透了
I’m wet. I’m wet.
我失控了 我湿透了
I’m hysterical and I’m wet.
我好痛
I’m in pain.
我好痛 我湿透了
I’m in pain, I’m wet…
我失控了
and I’m still hysterical.
救命 我该怎么办
All right, all right. What can I do?
我都要失控了
You’re getting me hysterical.
你走 你吓着我了 别离我太近
Well, move away. You’ll frighten me. You’re too close.
我吓着你了？ – 对 你去那边
I frighten you? Yes, get over there…
什么也别碰 那边去 那边去
and stop touching all this. Move over there, get over there…
坐好 – 坐好了 我坐好了
and sit down. I’m sitting. I’m sitting.
你看起来还是很生气
You still look angry.
对不起 这样如何？
I’m sorry. How’s this?
我家小会计在哪呢？
Who’s my little accountant?
我家小会计在哪呢？
Who’s my little accountant?
你是我家小会计么？
Are you my little accountant?
我就是 – 你是我家小会计么
I am the man. Are you my little accountant?
我就是 – 没错 你就是
I am. Yes, you are.
您能微笑太好了
Well, thank you for smiling.
这让我感觉好多了
That helped a great deal.
俗话说得好
Well, you know what they say?
“笑对世界 世界还你微笑”
“Smile and the world smiles with you.”
这人不该放弃治疗啊
This man should be in a straitjacket.
感觉好点了吗 – 好多了 谢谢您
You feeling better? Oh, yes, I’m fine now.Thank you.
很好
Good.
跟您说说刚才的事行吗
May I speak to you?
遵命 王子殿下 您说什么是什么
Yes, Prince Mishkin. What can we do for you?
这可不是开玩笑的时候 必亚脱先生
Well, this is hardly the time for levity, Mr. Bialystock.
我发现了严重的问题
I’ve discovered a serious error…
您上一部剧的账目
in the accounts of your last show…
搞笑男孩 – 哪里？怎么了？
Funny Boy. Where? What?
从融♥资♥账目上看 您募集到十万元
Well, according to the backers list, you raised $100,000…
但是您的戏只花了九万八
but your show only cost $98,000.
有两千元没有计算在内
There’s $2,000 unaccounted for.
我拿去做大保健了 谁管这个 反正戏演砸了
I went to a Turkish bath. Who cares? The show was a flop.
小布 拜托了 小数点上做点功课
Bloom, do me a favor. Move a few decimal points around.
你能做到 你是专业会计师
You can do it, you’re an accountant.
所谓会计 有身份证的职业
You’re part of a noble profession.
能掐会算应该是常事嘛
The word “count” is part of your title.
这是犯法 – 别拿法律说事
It’s cheating. It’s not cheating.
你这是行善
It’s charity.
小布
Bloom…
看见这胸针了么
you see this stick pin?
这原来有颗珍珠 比你眼珠子还大
This once held a pearl as big as your eye.
曾经我也是穿着意大利手制皮鞋
I used to wear handmade ltalian shoes…
五百一件的好衣裳
$500 suits.
瞧瞧我现在 看我现在的尊荣
And look at me now. Look at me now!
连皮带都是纸糊的
I’m wearing a cardboard belt.
小布 你得救我
Bloom. You gotta save me.
我就指望你了 我不想进监狱
I’m reaching out to you. Don’t send me to prison.
行~行~好~吧
Help me!
好吧 好吧
All right. All right.
好 交给我吧 – 真的？
Okay, I’ll do it. Really?
对 交给我吧 – 哇
Yes, I’ll do it. Wow.
我看看 两千不算多
Let’s see, $2,000 isn’t so much.