贝拉的魔法（2012）

Hey, I got some interesting news.
给我回电♥话♥ 好吗
So call me back, all right?
我觉得你该听听他要说什么
I think you should hear what he has to say.
你觉得他要说什么
And what might be the topic of that conversation?
没人在乎卖♥♥不出书的作家
Nobody cares about a writer nobody reads.
卖♥♥不出书是因为你不写了
Nobody reads you because you don’t write.
我现在的职业是专心喝酒
Drinking is a very demanding profession.
一心不能二用
And I can’t hold down two jobs at once.
你总是这么不讲理
You have always been your own worst enemy.
你带这个来干什么
What the hell did you bring that for?
我还记得玛丽得知你获奖时有多自豪
I wanna remember how proud Mary was when they gave it to you.
你还带去医院
And how you brought it to the hospital
挂在病房♥的墙上
and hung it on the wall for her to see
好让她睁眼就能看到
when she opened her eyes.
她一直在默默支持你
She was always there for you.
然后她就离开了我
Till she wasn’t.
蒙提叔叔 她不是离开你 她得了癌症
Uncle Monte, she didn’t leave you. She had cancer.
她就是走了
She left me!
那也没有你这么过日子的
Well, there’s more to life than the way you’re living it.
你有意见 可以走时塞进意见箱里
Stuff your ideas in the suggestion box on your way out.
我会来看你的
I’ll be by to check on you.
然后你会发现我自杀了
And when you do, you’ll find me dead by my own hand,
身边一把左轮手♥枪♥还在冒烟
a smoking Navy Colt Revolver by my side,
还有一封没有收件人的告别书
and a note of farewell, to no one in particular.
随你吧
Sounds like a plan.
他总是尖叫 因为他疯了
He screams a lot ’cause he’s crazy.
我看到他把耗子吞了 然后又吐出来
I seen him swallow a rat and then puke it up.
他喜欢呕吐
He likes to puke.
他有暴食症吗
He sounds bulimic.
不用你管
Stay outta my story.
他喜欢吃蜘蛛和蟑螂
He likes to chew on spiders and cockroaches,
因为过后他可以狂吐不已
so he can puke his guts out all over the floor.
但他的最爱
But his favorite…
还是肥嫩多汁的虫子
is big, fat, juicy worms.
菲妮 别吓她了
Finn, don’t scare her.
闭嘴 小柳树 我这是在照看家庭
Shut up, Willow Tree. I’m looking out for my family.
-随你吧 -现在…
– Whatever. – Now…
如果他看向你
if he even looks at you,
你就做十字的手势 就像对付吸血鬼一样
you just make the sign of the cross, just like with vampires.
对的
Perfect.
你知道他深夜最喜欢做什么吗
You know what he likes to do late at night?
什么
What?
他会找一个开着的窗户
He looks for an open window, sneaks in,
溜进来 爬到你睡觉的地方
crawls right up to where you’re sleeping,
伸出他那长长的黏糊糊的舌头
sticks out his long, slimy tongue,
然后舔你的脚
and licks your feet.
菲妮 够了
Finn, stop it!
如果你碰到他来舔你的脚 不要
If you catch him licking your feet, do not,
记住了 不要 睁眼
I repeat do not open your eyes.
如果他发现你还醒着
If he sees that you’re awake,
就会咬掉你的脚趾头 一口吞下去
he’ll bite off a toe and swallow it whole!
晚饭好了
Dinner’s ready.
妈 菲妮又吓唬芙罗拉
Mother, Finn’s scaring Flora again.
她非要说住在养狗戴夫家的人吃虫子
She keeps making up stuff about the man at Dog Dave’s, says he eats worms.
没准他是饿了
Well, maybe he was hungry.
唐真可怜
Poor Don.
是啊 他可爱打球了 身体一直很好
Yeah, with all that basketball, he was in such good shape.
所以我才一直不运动
That is why I always refrain from any form of exercise.
你会见到他的
You’ll get to see him again.
他快来看我们了
He’ll visit soon.
怎么了
What’s going on?
芙罗拉想爸爸了
Flora misses Daddy.
宝贝
Oh… I know, sweetie.
我们都不容易
This has been hard on all of us.
但你知道谁快来了吗
But you know he’s gonna visit soon.
你和爸爸不能再结次婚吗
Why can’t you and Daddy get married again?
我也希望能和好
Oh… I wish we could.
但有时妈妈和爸爸
You know, sometimes mommies and daddies
就是没法一起生活
just can’t be happy together.
我给她解释了 但是…
I tried to explain that to her, but…
那你现在过的好吗
Are you happy now?
我有你们三个闺女
I have my three girls…
就心满意足了
and that’s all I ever want.
物以类聚啊
Kindred spirit.
你就是那条狗了
Ah, you must be the dog.
请就座
Be seated.
我们有事要谈
We have some things to discuss.
养狗戴夫让我照顾你一夏天
Dog Dave has left you in my care for the summer.
我们得先给你改个名字
Right off, we’re gonna change your name.
你不是什么利物浦的摇滚偶像
You are not some rock ‘n’ roll icon from Liverpool.
你是只狗 该有个像样的名字
You’re a dog, and you shall be named appropriately.
你会为这个名字自豪
You will take pride in this name,
日后再谢谢我
and one day, thank me.
我要叫你
I shall call you…
斑点
Spot.
这名字不错
It’s a good name…
虽说你没什么斑点
even though you don’t have spots.
但你会明白
It’s not about spots,
跟斑点没什么关系
as you will come to understand.
我希望你能好好表现
Now, I expect to witness the finer side of your character.
如果附近哪条母狗发♥情♥了
If one of the local bitches is in heat,
就由她去
she will remain so,
你不许去帮她解决生理需求
without any assistance on your part to alleviate her condition.
这样最好
That’s generally a good way to handle it.
还有 不许放屁
One more thing: no farting.
爱与和平
Peace and love.
别闹 卡尔 我还有事
Not now, Carl. I’ve got work to do.
我也是
Me, too.
希望你准备好迎接我了 贝拉岛
I hope you’re ready for me, Belle Isle,
我要来了
’cause I’m coming for you.
是一元巴士吗
Is this the Dollar Ride?
好的
Good.
你们搭载残障人士吗
Does your transportation services accommodate the handicapped?
太棒了 先生
Excellent, sir,
因为如果你们不载
because if you did not accommodate the handicapped,
我就起诉你们
I would sue your unaccommodating ass.
你们好啊 女士们[西班牙语]
Buenas dias, senoritas.
不知你们什么感觉
I don’t know about you,
但这音乐让我想跳舞
but this music makes me feel like dancing.
两个叮当派
Two Ding Dongs…
一包奇多
Bag of Cheetos…
还有一盒无谷蛋白果味麦片
And a box of gluten-free Fruity Pebbles.
就这些吗
Will that be all?
再要一瓶最好的酸麦芽威士忌
Uh, I’ll have another bottle of your finest sour mash whiskey.
一共37元42角
That will be $37.42.
给你
Take it out of that.
你叫穆♥罕♥默♥德♥是吗
So, it’s Mahmoud, is it?
是 先生
Yes, sir.
给你找零
Here is your change.
怎么了
What?
收银台的典型错误
Classic check-out stand blunder.
是什么
What is?
一个字 辣肠
In a word, Slim Jims.
那不是两个字吗
Isn’t that… two words?
你丢了西瓜捡芝麻了 穆♥罕♥默♥德♥
You’re taking your eye off the ball, Mahmoud.
什么西瓜
What ball?
大多数人都觉得这是个
I realize that it is considered by many
会随手买♥♥的东西
to be an on-the-way-out kind of item,
但在我看 这都是胡说八道
but I believe that to be a rural myth.
别误会
Don’t get me wrong.
谁要想吃瘦辣肠