狩猎

不
No.
“不”
“No”?
不
No.
我妈以前常跟我讲一个故事
My mama used to tell me this story
关于一只兔子和一只乌龟
about the jackrabbit and the box turtle.
那只兔子是个混♥蛋♥
The jackrabbit is a real dick,
因为他总吹嘘自己
’cause he brags all the time.
说没人跑得比他快
Says nobody’s faster than him.
那是真的
And, well, it’s true.
因为兔子每次比赛都是赢家
‘Cause every time he races, the jackrabbit always wins.
森林里所有动物都得忍♥受他
The whole fucking forest has to put up with his shit–
日复一日
day in, day out.
那混♥蛋♥总想参加比赛 就为了强调自己的地位
Fucker always wants to race just to rub it in some more.
于是乌龟想着 “有何不可
So the box turtle figures, “Why not?
我尽管去试试”
I’ll give it a try.”
兔子笑着说
And the jackrabbit, like, laughs.
“好啊 会很有意思的 我们就来比一场”
Like, “Okay, this’ll be fun. So let-let’s fucking go.”
比赛开始 兔子瞬间冲出去 不见兔影
So bang! Jackrabbit leaves the box turtle in his fucking dust.
他把乌龟远远甩在后面
I mean, he is way out in front.
这是当然了 因为兔子永远是赢家
Of course he is, ’cause jackrabbit always wins.
但他想增加戏剧性 让战况看起来更激烈
But he wants to put on a show and he’ll make it seem close.
于是他停下来 打了个盹
So he stops, and he takes a nap.
但他没想到自己睡了那么久
He sleeps longer than he wanted to.
等他终于醒来后
By the time he wakes up, the…
他知道自己完蛋了
I mean, he knows he’s fucked.
兔子全速追赶 但为时已晚
Jackrabbit… goes full tilt, but it’s too late.
乌龟率先冲过了终点线
The box turtle crosses the finish line first,
观众全部…
and the crowd’s like…
激动欢呼
Goes fucking wild.
到了晚上 乌龟和他家人吃饭时
Later that night, box turtle’s having dinner with his family.
他告诉他的小乌龟们 他是如何成功的
He’s telling his little box turtles how he did it.
“永不放弃 我…
“I mean, never give up. I…
一直不停往前爬
“Just keep crawling forwards, and…
你就能战胜一切”
you can overcome just about anything.”
这时门被撞开
Door smashes in.
是兔子
It’s the jackrabbit.
他拿着把锤子
And he has a hammer.
他先砸死妻子和孩子们
Smashes up the wife and kids first
这样乌龟就得眼睁睁看着他们死
so the box turtle has to watch ’em die.
然后轮到他
And then it’s his turn.
乌龟一家人都被砸成碎块后
Once the whole family’s broken into little pieces…
兔子坐下来 吃他们的晚餐
…he sits down and eats their dinner.
一口不剩
Every last bite.
因为兔子永远是赢家
‘Cause the jackrabbit always wins.
你妈妈跟你讲这种故事吗
Your mama told you that story?
等等
Uh, so… so wait.
那谁是兔子
So, who’s the rabbit?
我们还是他们
I mean, i-is it us or them?
你也看见一只穿着衣服的猪了吧
You see a pig with a shirt on, right?
对
Yep.
一只小猪
A little pig.
奥利弗到底在哪
Where the hell is Oliver?
他去找他们已经好几小时了
He left to get them hours ago.
他肯定没事的 泰德
I’m sure he’s fine, Ted.
天啊 阿娃·杜威内导演刚给我点了赞
Oh, wow. Ava DuVernay just liked one of my posts.
你也是阿娃的朋友吗
You’re friends with Ava, too?
不是 也许吧
No. Uh, maybe.
我们在”全球最具影响力百人”晚宴见过
We met at a Time 100 dinner.
她点赞的就是这张照片
Th-This is the photo that she liked.
我在海地时拍的
It’s from when I was in Haiti.
等等 等一下 你去过海地吗
Wait a second. Wait. You were in Haiti?
再告诉我们一次 你去哪里做什么来着
Remind us, what were you doing there again?
你在棚户区治疗艾滋
You were curing AIDS in a favela.
-艾滋 -那不是…
– Aids. – Isn’t that…
-别拿艾滋开玩笑 -不不 我没开玩笑
– Don’t joke about AIDS. – No, no, no. I’m not joking.
艾滋是很严肃的事
AIDS is very, very serious,
幸好马丁独力承担起如此重责大任
and thank God Martin is single-handedly taking it on.
好了 首先 海地没有棚户区
Okay. First of all, there are no favelas in Haiti.
-那是巴西才有的 -我只是…
– That’s Brazil. – Well, I just…
我听说你在那里搞大了一个女孩的肚子
I-I heard that you got a girl pregnant down there.
我只是陷入爱河了
I fell in love.
希望她赞成堕胎合法
Hope she was pro-choice.
别拿选择开玩笑 拜托
Don’t joke about choice, man, please.
重要的是海地这几十年来
What matters is that Haiti is in the midst
都处于人道主义危机之中
of a decades-long humanitarian crisis,
它需要一切可能的帮助
and it needs all the help it can get.
谢谢你
Thank you.
-那需要马丁的精♥液♥吗 -够了
– Does it need Martin’s semen? – Okay.
够了 理查德
Enough, Richard.
兄弟们 我们是站在同一边的
Guys, uh… we’re all on the same team.
你刚是说”兄弟们”吗
Did you say “guys”?
抱歉 我疏忽了
I’m sorry. I gendered it.
他们在哪
Where are they?
用无线电呼叫奥利弗吧
Just call Oliver on the radio.
反正他们认为他是大使♥馆♥的人员 所以他…
I mean, they think he’s part of the embassy, so he’s…
该死
Oh, shit.
戴尔中士 帮个忙
Uh, Sergeant Dale, little help?
我们要小声一点
Please, let’s keep the voices down.
-为什么 他们在车里 -你雇我是要听我的建议
– Why? They’re in a car. – You hired me to consult you.
我现在就在给你建议
I’m consulting you.
你演过的那部电影叫什么来着
What was the name of that movie you did again?
《太阳之泪》
Tears of the Sun.
他们真起了这个名字吗
That’s… I mean, that’s actually what they called it?
《太阳之泪》
Tears of the Sun?
太阳为什么哭了
Why is the sun crying?
真有上映吗
It-it came out?
我是指在电影院之类的
I mean, like, in theaters and stuff?
-布鲁斯·威利斯是主演 -什么
– Bruce Willis was in it. – What?
我好爱布鲁斯
I love Bruce.
-他好酷 -别聊天了
– He’s cool. – Stop fucking talking.
抱歉 雅典娜 我去撒泡尿
Sorry, Athena. Well, I’m gonna go take a piss.
洗手液在谁那里
Who has the hand sanitizer?
老天 理查德 你就将就一下吧
Oh, christ, Richard, just rough it.
玩你的蛋去 利伯蒂
Go fuck yourself, Liberty.
当心碰到绊线
Hey, watch out for the trip wires.
我知道
I know.
竟敢叫老子将就一下
Fucking “rough it.”
好像你这辈子就将就过一样
As if you ever roughed a thing in your fucking life.
这是你的猪吗
Is this your pig?
都起来
Everybody up.
像练习过的那样
Like we practiced.
-我♥操♥ -别拿步♥枪♥了
– Motherfucker! – Leave the rifles.
只带随身武器 快点
Sidearms now. Come on, come on.
该死
Shit.
理查德
Richard?
你别嘘我
Don’t shush me.
理查德
Richard?
冷静
Easy.
他们会踩到绊线的
They’ll hit the trips.
该死
Shit.
操
Oh, fuck!
停火 停火
Stop! Stop!
奥威尔
Orwell!
怎么回事
What the fuck?!
它是无辜的
He was an innocent.
猪是怎么进来的
How the hell did that get in here?
你丫差点打中我了
You almost fucking shot me.
但我又没真打中你 因为你不是…
Well, I didn’t, did I? Because you’re not…
婊♥子♥
Hey, bitch.
不 雪球 不不不
No, Snowball. No, no, no, no.