厨师、大盗、他的太太和她的情人（1989）

我觉得你想让我等你
I thought you’d like me to wait for you.
你充满汗香味
You smell nice and sweaty.
把手洗干净, 我要亲你
Wash your hands, I’ll give you a kiss.
你知道对那些在女厕所的男人, 别人会怎么想吗?
You know what they say about men who hang around ladies’ lavatories?
对那些在女厕所的男人, 别人会怎么想?
What do they say about men who hang around ladies’ lavatories?
她们的遐想会破灭 -是吗
They’re asking to have their illusions shattered. -Yeah.
你对我没有遐想了吗, 乔琪?
You hold no illusions for me, Georgie, eh?
没有千方百计的遐想
No stone’s been left unturned.
来吧, 去帮我点泡芙, 好吗?
Look, just go order my profiteroles, will you?
来吧
Come on.
来吧
Come on.
我觉得衣索比亚人喜欢挨饿
I think these Ethiopians like starving.
让他们削瘦优雅, 加上大头和迷濛的双眼, 你们都看过那些小孩了
It keeps them slim and graceful, with those big heads and dreamy eyes. You know those kids.
你有病 -如果你这么有正义感, 那我或许有病
You’re sick. -I might well be if you’re being so priggish.
你懂什么叫挨饿, 乔琪娜? 你根本衣食无缺
What do you know, Georgina, about the starving? You can have anything you want.
你们去哪了? 来这么晚 -今天是周末, 到处都是钱
Where you been? You’re late. -It’s Friday night. There’s a lot of money about.
正直的人要戴手套才敢摸这些钱, 我们来看看餐具
A decent man needs gloves to touch this stuff. Let’s have a look.
这就是我们餐厅需要的
That’s just what this restaurant needs.
去布置起来
Start laying them out.
怎么回事, 米丘? 你不喜欢淡菜吗?
What’s the matter, Mitchel? Don’t you like mussels?
如果你要和我一起用餐, 你必须喜欢淡菜
You got to learn to like them if you’re going to eat with me.
你敢吐出来!
Don’t you dare throw up in here!
我会叫史班格勒把它塞回去
Or I’ll get Spangler to stuff ’em back down your throat.
这是马雷餐厅的保护费, 食物中毒吓得他们乖乖付钱
From the Malay restaurant. The food poisoning scared them, they’re paying up.
我相信, 他们不用我们下手
I’m sure they don’t need our assistance with that.
他们吃下去的东西就会毒死自己了
That stuff they eat, they’d poison themselves with it.
有些印度人以喝自己的尿尿著名
Some of them Indians are well known for drinking their own pee.
相同的水分不断自我循环
The same water would go round and round.
当然在循环中会有一些被蒸发掉
Of course, you’re bound to lose some through evaporation.
所以就要补充水分, 你想先用谁的尿尿补充水分?
Then you’d have to top it up. Whose pee would you drink first?
呃… -我的, 因为我随时供应, 对吧?
Erm… -Me, I’d have a ready supply, wouldn’t I?
乔琪和我有个小小的循环…
Georgie and I have our little sessions when we…
天啊, 你那盘是什么?
Good God, what have you got there?
这真的是主厨对你的赞美吗?
Even you are getting compliments from the chef, are you?
我们都是柏斯特的实验品, 对吧?
Being a guinea pig for a Boarst experiment, are we?
天啊, 这道菜好像是, 呃… 给便秘的法国野兔吃的
Good God, looks like, er, food for constipated French rabbits.
亚伯特, 帮我点一瓶基安蒂红酒, 我喜欢基安蒂红酒
Albert, why don’t you order me some chianti? You know I like chianti.
就是用干草包裹酒瓶的那种酒
In the bottle with the wrapping around it.
喝完我可以带回家挂在墙上
Then I can take it home and hang it on the wall.
葛蕾丝, 你家的红酒还不够多吗? -不够
Grace, haven’t you got enough of them already? -No.
你♥他♥妈♥的去哪里?
Where the hell are you going?
去上厕所 -你都还没开始喝饮料耶
To the toilet. -You haven’t had anything to drink yet.
她的膀胱一定像漏勺, 别去太久!
She’s got a bladder like a leaky marrow. Don’t be long!
你让她很烦 -放屁
You’ve upset her. -Rubbish.
别去太久, 你今天话很多, 你不在, 我们无法忍♥受冷清
Don’t be long! You’re so talkative tonight, we couldn’t stand the silence without you.
记得洗手!
Wash your hands!
你看, 这个(义大利语) -他妈的(义大利语)
Questo, questo. -Cazzo.
你在哪里学做饭? 它是有毒的(义大利语)
Dove hai imparto a cucinare? É velenoso.
快看看(义大利语)
Vieni qua.
有怪味!
That’s off!
Uh.
这蛋黄酱是咸的 -这是荷兰酱
This custard’s salty. -It is sauce Hollandaise.
我能帮忙吗, 史毕卡先生?
Can I help you, Mr Spica?
我是为了主厨特餐来的
I’ve come about those special complimentary dishes.
以后我的餐桌上每个人都要有
In future, all the guests at my table shall receive them.
为什么我的鱼要这么久?
Why is my fish taking so long?
你可以自己上菜, 史毕卡先生
You can carry it in yourself, if you like, Mr Spica.
你在找什么? -没有找什么, 你来上菜
What are you looking for? -Nothing. You bring it.
你不是在找太太吧? -当然不是
You would not be looking for your wife? -No, of course not.
史毕卡先生, 我有东西给你看
Mr Spica, I have something to show you.
这是什么? -新餐具, 让餐厅生色用的
What is this? -New cutlery. Give your restaurant some style.
我买♥♥了300组, 我的手下正布置在餐桌上
I brought in 300 sets. My men are just re-laying the tables.
品质不是很好, 史毕卡先生
Not very good quality, Mr Spica.
这只能用在家里, 史毕卡先生
You could use them at home, Mr Spica.
这300组都是
All 300 of them.
你去哪里了? 擦屁♥股♥了吗?
Where have you been? Wiping your bum?
像我教的用左手擦屁♥股♥吗?
Did you use your left hand like I showed you?
这些烂东西从哪里搞来的, 谬斯? 一堆垃圾, 都散了
Where’d you get this stuff, Mews? It’s rubbish, falling apart.
全部退回去, 再加50%罚款
Take ’em back. Get a 150% refund. God.
你在吃什么, 乔琪? 不怎么样嘛
What are you eating, Georgie? Not much.
哈! 我看到别人也有一样的特餐
Ha! I see others here get the same special attentions.
这是什么? 好像一堆… 水水的沙拉
What is it? Looks like some sort of… watery salade.
分量这么少
That’s not up to much.
无疑地很贵, 但是吃不胖吧
Expensive, no doubt, but not fattening.
你一定要吃壮一点, 你太瘦了
You’ve got to keep your strength up, you’re looking peaky.
你需要像是肾脏、肝脏、铁质
Kidneys, liver, iron, that’s what you need.
你们知道乳牛两星期, 就能喝下自己体重的水吗?
Do you know a cow drinks its own weight in water twice a week?
为了产乳, 所以, 乳牛有大大的奶♥子♥
For milk, you see, because a cow’s got great big tits.
像你一样, 乔琪, 对吧?
Just like you, eh, Georgie?
你们这些男人也许会认为理所当然, 因为…
You gentlemen will have to take it for granted because
只有她才知道原因
for some reason best known to herself,
她为什么没穿奶罩
she’s left her bra off.
柯瑞, 你喝过人奶吗?
Have you, Cory, ever tasted human milk?
我是说最近, 小时候不算
I mean recently. All them years ago don’t count.
你小时候喝母奶不会真的感激, 对吧?
You couldn’t really appreciate what you were enjoying then, could you?
我打赌某些国家母奶是绝妙美食, 我们国家应该也是
I bet human milk’s a great delicacy in some countries. It ought to be here.
柯瑞, 你知道有谁可以供应母奶?
Do you know, Cory, who could supply us with some human milk?
就是温暖地直接从容器中供应吗?
Warm, straight from the receptacle, so to speak?
别开玩笑! 母奶是珍贵的物品, 不可以开玩笑!
Don’t joke! It’s a precious commodity, not a joking matter!
乔琪就不会开这种玩笑, 对吧?
Georgie wouldn’t joke about it, would you?
你会吗, 乔琪?
Would you, Georgie?
啊, 你是有信誉的女性, 你值得向年轻女性展现
Ah. You’re a credit to women. You could show these young women a thing or two.
你也可以教这些年轻男性一些事物, 教教米丘吧
You could teach these young men a thing or two. Take Mitchel.
再想想, 还是不要好了, 因为他是粗野的可怜鬼
On second thoughts, don’t, cos he’s a crude little bugger.
你们为什么没有小孩? -小孩?
Then how come you haven’t got any kids? -Kids?
谁需要小孩? 谁想要小孩?
Who needs kids? Who wants kids?
我想要小孩
I want kids.
总有一天, 我们会有小孩的, 对吧?
We’ll have kids one day, won’t we, eh?
当你♥他♥妈♥的又老又丑的时候, 才有可能吧!
When you’re bloody old and grey, most like!
是啊, 你的问题就是, 都不好好吃饭
Yeah. Your trouble is you don’t eat properly.
你应该多喝水, 多吃肾脏
You should drink more water and eat more kidneys
然后你那该死的身体, 就能生下该死的小孩了
and then you might bloody well have a bloody baby someday.
乔琪不喜欢小孩, 对吧?
Georgie doesn’t like babies, do you?
你知道吗, 有时候, 乔琪, 你的行为像男人一样
You know, sometimes, Georgie, I think you behave like a bloke.
什么时候会有小孩, 亚伯特?
What days are those, then, Albert?
什么时候? -你说什么?
What’s it like? -You what?
滚下餐桌, 你这个污秽的胆小鬼!
Get away from this table, you mucky little wimp!
滚去厨房♥喝你的蔬菜汤, 你这个下流小变♥态♥!
Go and eat your vegetable soup in the kitchen, you dirty little pervert!
起来, 滚一边吃饭去
Go on, get on with your eating, eh?
米丘在耍宝
It’s only Mitchel making a fool of himself.
给我站到角落去, 柯瑞, 给他一顶纸帽子
Now, stand in the corner. Cory, make him a paper hat.
顽皮的小孩去墙角罚站
Stand in the corner like a naughty little boy.
带着刀叉站好别动
Stand there. Take your knife and fork with you.
你别闹了 -你也想加入吗?
Don’t be stupid. -Do you want to join him?
别管他了, 他只是有样学样
Leave him alone. He’s only copying you like he always does. You behave, he’ll behave.
我要走了 -好, 我们要走了
I’m leaving. -Yes, we are leaving.
葛蕾丝, 拿去结♥帐♥, 坐计程车
Gracie, here. Pay the bill and take a taxi.
乔琪和我去小小的兜风一下
Yeah. Georgie and I might go for a little drive.
明天是我们的结婚纪念日
It’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow.
也许会开去海边
Might drive down to the sea,
在码头下重温旧梦
have some fun under the pier like we used to.
糟糕, 很抱歉
Oops. I am sorry.
这里不是图书馆, 是餐厅
Still, this isn’t a library, it’s a restaurant.
有人会处理
They got people for that.
理查
Richard.
拿去煮, 加上豆泥烤一烤
This needs cooking. Grill it with some mashed peas.
♪ 彻底洗净我 ♪
♪ Wash me thoroughly ♪
♪ 远离罪恶 ♪
♪ From my iniquity ♪
♪ 然后清洁我… ♪
♪ And cleanse me… ♪
你个小男生洗碟子做什么?
What’s a young lad like you doing washing dishes?
这是女人的工作, 你做来干吗? 嘿!