奇幻人生（2006）

我明白，我很肯定
I know, I made sure of it.
所以，拿起一块曲奇…
So pick up the cookie…
蘸一点牛奶…
…dip it in the miIk…
吃下去
…and eat it.
这真是非常非常上佳的曲奇
That’s a reaIIy, reaIIy good cookie.
那你是什么时候决定要当面包师的？
So when did you decide to become a baker?
大学时候 – 哦，就像是烹调大学？
In coIIege. -Oh, Iike a cooking coIIege?
我实际上上的是哈佛法学院
I went to Harvard Law actuaIIy.
哦，抱歉，我想当然地认为… – 没，没什么，我没念完
Oh, I’m sorry, I just assumed it was– -No. No, it’s fine. I didn’t finish.
发生了什么事吗？ – 没有
Did something happen? -No.
我是刚好被录取的，只差一点点
I was bareIy accepted. I mean, reaIIy bareIy.
他们唯一录取我的理由是我的小论文
The onIy reason they Iet me come was because of my essay.
我要如何用我的学位开创更美好的世界
How I was gonna make the worId a better pIace with my degree.
总之，我们要参与那些学习活动
Anyway, we wouId have to participate in these study sessions…
我的同学们还有我，有时要一整夜
…my cIassmates and I, sometimes aII night Iong.
所以我就烤点面包，这样大家就不会饿了
And so I’d bake so no one wouId go hungry whiIe we worked.
有时我在宿舍一烤就是一下午
Sometimes I wouId bake aII afternoon in the kitchen in the dorm…
然后我就把我的成果拿到学习小组…
…and then I’d bring my IittIe treats to the study groups…
大家很喜欢
…and peopIe Ioved them.
吃吧
Eat.
我做了麦片曲奇，奶油花生长条面包
I made oatmeaI cookies, peanut-butter bars…
…黑巧克力澳洲坚果楔形蛋糕
…dark-chocoIate macadamia-nut wedges.
大家吃了很高兴
And everyone wouId eat and stay happy…
学习更努力，考试成绩更好
…and study harder and do better on the tests.
越来越多的人来到学习小组…
More and more peopIe started coming to the study groups…
我就得多做几份…
…and I’d bring more snacks.
我一直在寻找新的食谱…
I was aIways Iooking for better and better recipes…
后来又有了意大利干酪杏仁面包…
…untiI soon it was ricotta cheese and apricot croissants…
咖啡杏仁长条面包
…and mocha bars with an aImond gIaze…
桃味酥皮柠檬软面包
…and Iemon chiffon cake with zesty peach icing.
最后学期末小组里有27个成员
And at the end of the semester I had 2 7 study partners…
8本期刊上贴满了食谱
…eight Mead journaIs fiIIed with recipes…
我平均成绩是D
…and a D average.
所以我退学了
So I dropped out.
我明白如果我想创立更美好的世界
I figured if I was gonna make the worId a better pIace…
我就用曲奇
…I wouId do it with cookies.
你喜欢吗？
You Iike them?
喜欢
I do.
我很高兴
I’m gIad.
感谢你执意要我吃
Thank you for forcing me to eat them.
别客气
You’re weIcome.
我该走了，谢谢你的曲奇
I shouId go. Oh, thank you. For the cookies, I mean.
你为何不拿回家去？ – 哦，不了
Why don’t you take them home? -Oh, no.
哦，拿去吧 – 真的不了
Oh, come on. -No, reaIIy, pIease.
不，拿去吧，真的 – 真的真的不了
No, reaIIy, pIease. -No, no, no. ReaIIy, pIease.
我很想拿去，但我不能
I wouId Iike to, but I can’t.
不能？ – 我是说…
You can’t? -No, no, I mean–
看，这就算礼物了…
Because, see, it constitutes a gift.
实际上，我连那些都不该吃
ActuaIIy I shouIdn’t have even had those other ones, so….
没什么，我不会告诉别人的
Okay. WeII, I’m not gonna teII anyone.
我知道，但是如果你… – 我不会的
No. I know, but if you did…. -WeII, I’m not going to.
我知道，但如果你…
I know, but if you did–
怎么，你以为我要去… – 不，不，我买♥♥下来吧
What, you think I’m gonna caII the–? -No, no. I’II purchase them.
我很高兴能买♥♥下来 多少钱？
I’m happy to purchase them. How’s that?
这样就没问题了
And then there are no issues.
怎么？ – 没事
What? -No.
求求你 – 只是…
PIease. -Just….
我为何不能… – 回家吧
Why don’t I just–? -Go home.
真的，不是大事情
ReaIIy, it’s not a big deaI.
回家去
Go home.
好吧
Okay.
你是不是…
Did you…?
为我烤的曲奇？
You baked those cookies for me, didn’t you?
你只想做得好点，而我完全搞砸了
You were just trying to be nice and I totaIIy bIew it.
说这些可能你不明白
This may sound Iike gibberish to you…
但我想我是在悲剧里
…but I think I’m in a tragedy.
希尔伯特教授 我在喜剧悲剧的事情上完全失败了
Professor HiIbert, I’ve totaIIy faiIed at the comedy-tragedy thing.
实际上，我觉得她更不怎么喜欢我了
In fact, I think she Iikes me even Iess.
我知道，很不错 – 什么意思？
I know, it’s great. -What do you mean?
你已经完全证明了别的事情
You’ve proved something eIse entireIy.
那个声音似乎是决定于你的行动的
The voice seems to be dependent on actions you take.
你对了表，它就说你对了表
You reset your watch, it says you reset your watch.
你乘公车，它就说你乘公车
You ride a bus, it says you ride the bus.
你刷牙，它就说你刷牙
You brush your teeth, it says you brush your teeth.
可能是你自己让这个故事永远进行下去
It may be that you yourseIf are perpetuating the story.
所以我建议我们试点别的 – 比如？
So I suggest we try something eIse. -Like what?
什么都不做 – 那帕斯卡女士怎么办？
Try nothing. Nothing. -What about Ms. PascaI?
忘了她 – 忘了她？
Forget her. -Forget her?
除了数字以外，我只想着她了
Other than numbers, she’s aII I think about.
哈罗德，如果你想活着，就得试点别的
HaroId, if you wanna stay aIive, you’II try something eIse.
什么都不做？ – 对
That something being nothing? -Nothing, exactIy.
都不做？ – 我再解释一下
Nothing? -Let me expIain this again.
有些情节是靠外在的事情或危机发展的
Some pIots are moved forward by externaI events and crises.
另一些是靠角色本身
Others are moved forward by the characters themseIves.
如果我穿过这扇门 情节就发展了
If I go through that door, the pIot continues.
发生的就是我穿过门后来的故事 如果我就待在这…
The story of me through the door. If I stay here…
情节就没法发展，故事就结束了
…the pIot can’t move forward, the story ends.
而且如果我待在这，我就迟到了
AIso if I stay here, I’m Iate.
明天什么都别做 – 都别做？
Don’t do anything tomorrow. -Nothing?
待在家，别接电♥话♥，别开门，别刷牙
Stay home. Don’t answer the phone, open the door, brush your teeth.
那工作怎么办？ – 打电♥话♥给他们
What about work? -CaII them.
告诉他们你不去了 – 不去上班？
TeII them you’re not coming. -Don’t go to work?
别做任何让情节发展的事情
Don’t do anything that may move the pIot forward.
相反，我们看看情节能否找上门来
Instead, Iet’s see if the pIot finds you.
马沙尔，你没蹬脚
MarshaII, you’re not kicking.
当然这些傻冒只了解这个：
certain that these geese have never known any home but this one:
波兰东部的一片小湖
A small lake in Eastern Poland.
来自临近工厂的污染正慢慢地杀死…
Pollution from a nearby factory is slowly killing…
小鱼和昆虫这些其他动物的食物
…the small fish and insects on which these creatures feed.
把鸟类移到其他水域的行动都失败了
All attempts to move the birds to similar bodies of water have failed.
也许是熟悉感让它们留在这
Perhaps it is the familiarity alone that keeps them here.
或许是它们不愿意失去
Or perhaps it’s an unwillingness to lose the collective memory…
对湖边美丽的小山的回忆
…of the once-beautiful hills that surround the lake.
很快招潮蟹就意识到
And it takes only seconds for the fiddler crabs to realize…
它们曾经害怕的禽鸟
…that the wader they might once have feared…
现在成为了它们的美食
…has now become their prey.
那受伤的鸟知道自己的命运
The wounded bird knows its fate.
它绝望的挣扎
lts desperate attempts to escape…
只能强调它无望的处境
…only underscore the hopelessness of its plight.
灵长目那深情忧郁的眼睛 将先被挖去…
The primates’ sad, soulful eyes will be the first to be plucked out…
然后卖♥♥给世界上的化妆品公♥司♥…
…then sold to cosmetic companies around the world…
用来测试染眉毛油和人造眼泪
…for use in the testing of mascara and artificial tears.
接下来，猴子的毛皮从它们柔软的 身躯上剥下
Next, the monkeys’ fur will be stripped away from their limp corpses…
织在一起做成枕头和围巾
…and sewn together to form pillows and comforters.
斑马先生想要美美地喝上一口
Mr. Zebra thought he was gonna take a nice drink.
但你永远不知道
But you never know who’s gonna eat…
你在大自然的餐厅中用餐时谁要去下嘴
…when you’re dining at Mother Nature’s restaurant.
那很疼的，这秃鹰想要
That’s gotta hurt. What does this bald eagle wanna serve…
用着芸豆和红葡萄酒招待什么呢？
…with some kidney beans and a fine Chianti?
是美洲鳗，又一下
lt’s an eel. And again:
看上去像年长的鳄鱼先生想要吃点羚羊
Looks like old Mr. Crocodile wanted some antelope…
以缓解鳄鱼的咸味
…to clear that salty zebra from his palate.
先生们，为这个赌一把吧
Here’s a struggle betting gentlemen have been known to put money on.
当猫鼬遭遇眼镜蛇的时候谁会胜利
When a mongoose encounters a cobra it’s hard to know who’s gonna win.
但是这次看上去是眼镜蛇了
But this time it looks like it’s…the cobra…
它在用力挤压猫鼬
…who’s putting the squeeze on the mongoose!
但是别急着收筹码，先生们
But don’t cash in your chips just yet, gentlemen…
因为现在是猫鼬取得了胜利！
…because now it’s the mongoose who holds the winning card!
嘿！嘿！
Hey! Hey!
嘿！嘿！嘿！你们在干什么？
Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?!