奇幻人生（2006）

有点
Sort of.
我告诉你你会死去，你信吗？
I toId you you were gonna die, you beIieve me?
不信 – 为什么？
No. -Why?
我不认识你
I don’t know you.
但你也不认识那个叙述者 – 嗯…
But you don’t know this narrator. -WeII….
好吧，克里克先生，我帮不了你 – 为什么？
Okay, Mr. Crick, I can’t heIp you. -Why?
我不是疯狂事情的专家 我是文学史方面的专家
WeII, I’m not an expert in crazy, I’m an expert in Iiterature theory.
我要告诉你，到目前为止…
And I gotta teII you, thus far…
没有一件关于你的作品
…there doesn’t seem to be a singIe Iiterary thing about you.
我不怀疑你听见一个声音 但是不大可能有个叙述者…
I don’t doubt you hear a voice, but it couIdn’t possibIy be a narrator…
因为，老实说，这没什么可讲述的
…because, frankIy, there doesn’t seem to be much to narrate.
除此之外，这学期我教5门课
Beside that, this semester I’m teaching five courses.
带两个博士生
I’m mentoring two doctoraI candidates…
我还是游泳池的教师救生员
…and I’m the facuIty Iifeguard at the pooI.
我只是认为您能… – 也许你应该记日记
I just thought you couId possibIy– -Perhaps you shouId keep a journaI.
把她说的记下来
Write down what she said or something.
我只能建议这些了
That’s aII I can suggest.
我记不全了，我只能想记住
I can bareIy remember it aII. I just remember:
“他毫不知晓这个简单看似无害的动作…
”LittIe did he know that this simpIe, seemingIy innocuous act…
将会导致他即将到来的死亡”
…wouId Iead to his imminent death.”
什么？ – “他毫不知晓这个…”
What? -”LittIe did he know that this–”
你说“他毫不知晓” – 是的
Did you say, ”IittIe did he know”? -Yes.
我写过关于“他毫不知晓”方面的论文
I’ve written papers on ”IittIe did he know.”
我曾经教过一节课 里面讲“他毫不知晓”
I used to teach a cIass based on ”IittIe did he know.”
我是说，我开过“他毫不知晓”的研讨会
I mean, I once gave an entire seminar on ”IittIe did he know.”
见鬼了，哈罗德
Son of a bitch, HaroId.
“他毫不知晓”意思是有些是他不知道的
”LittIe did he know” means there’s something he doesn’t know…
意思是有些是你不知道的 明白吗？
…that means there’s something you don’t know. Did you know that?
我要你周五再来 – 好的
I want you to come back Friday. -Okay.
不，“即将到来” 有可能你周五就死了
No, ”imminent,” you couId be dead by Friday.
明天9:45过来
Come back tomorrow at 9:45.
10秒钟之前你还说你不会帮我
Ten seconds ago you said you wouIdn’t heIp me.
这是很有启迪作用的10秒钟，哈罗德
It’s been a very reveaIing 1 0 seconds, HaroId.
哈罗德陷入沉思
Harold was deep in thought.
就在那短短的一瞬 从伯恩大道到欧几里德大街…
For a few, brief moments, from Born Boulevard to Euclid Avenue…
所有的算术，所有的规则
…all the calculations and all the rules…
所有哈罗德精确的人生都烟消云散
…and all the precision of Harold’s life just faded away.
那时候安娜·帕斯卡出现在那个地方
How perfect then that in this space…
是多么完美的事
…Ana Pascal would appear.
帕斯卡女士
Ms. PascaI.
帕斯卡女士 我是哈罗德·克里克，国税局的
Ms. PascaI, it’s HaroId Crick from the IRS.
劳驾
Excuse me.
嗨 – 嗨
Hi. -Hi.
你要坐吗？ – 不了
WouId you Iike a seat? -Nope.
还有11站呢
There’s 1 1 open ones.
无所谓
I don’t care.
对不起
Sorry about that.
你好吗？
How are you?
我烦死了，我在被查账
I’m Iousy. I’m being audited.
当然
Of course.
还面对一个恶心的家伙
By a reaI creep too.
我想我欠你一个道歉
I think I owe you an apoIogy.
真的？ – 国税局审计员…
ReaIIy? -IRS agents…
我们上岗前要经过严格的能力测验
…we’re given rigorous aptitude tests before we can work.
对你很不幸，我们没测验策略 以及服务态度
UnfortunateIy for you, we aren’t tested on tact or good manners…
所以…我道歉
…so I apoIogize.
我那时轻浮地盯着你看
I ogIed you.
对不起
Sorry.
没什么，道歉接受了
Okay, apoIogy accepted.
但仅仅是因为你口吃
But onIy because you stammered.
那么你是常坐公车了？
So you’re a frequenter of the metropoIitan transit authority too?
不，我只是迟到了
No. I’m just Iate.
要去进行大抗♥议♥？
Big fIag-burning to get to?
实际上…
ActuaIIy…
这是我每周的小活动，刺绣小组
…it’s my weekIy eviI-conspiracy and needIepoint group.
你想来吗？
You wanna come?
我把顶针和社♥会♥主♥义♥阅读材料 落在家里了
I Ieft my thimbIes and sociaIist reading materiaI at home.
所以…
So….
哈罗德紧张地闲聊着…
Harold nervously made small talk.
你牙齿很整齐
You have very straight teeth.
没话找话
Very small talk.
谢谢，那是真的
Thanks. They’re reaI.
哈罗德快速地计算着
Harold quickly calculated the odds of making an ass of himself…
他坐在那聊天的时间里冒傻气的几率
…in ratio to the amount of time he stayed to chat.
我到站了
This is my stop. I shouId go.
…他对与帕斯卡女士的艳遇 – 再见
He was elated and surprised… -See you soon.
又惊又喜
…by his somewhat flirtatious encounter with Ms. Pascal.
高兴得以致于他早下车了27个街区
So elated that he exited the Transit Authority bus…
不得不后面靠步行了
…a good 2 7 blocks too early and would now have to walk.
你还没倒下呢 – 没错
”You ain’t down yet. ” -That’s right.
告诉我们，“你没有我任何把柄”的意思 埃莫特·科尔？
Tell us, what is You Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Me about, Emmett Cole?
那是什么意思？
What does this mean?
那就是谁，纵观全球，做不同的事情…
Well, it’s about being around in the world, doing different things…
…做你想做的 – 进来
…doing what you wanna do…. -Come in.
克里克先生，请进，请进
Mr. Crick. Come in, come in. PIease.
你好吗？
How are you?
我很好，实际上
I’m fine, actuaIIy.
你可以把那个关上了
You can turn that off.
看上去我们的叙述者还没杀死你
Looks Iike our narrator hasn’t kiIIed you quite yet.
还没 – 不错，请坐
No, not yet. -Good, great. Have a seat.
数外面楼梯数了吗？ – 没
Count the stairs outside? -No.
当然没有，我设计了个测验…
Course not. I’ve devised a test–
有23个题目
How exciting is that? –of 23 questions…
我想能帮着揭开更多 关于这个叙述者的真♥相♥
…which I think might heIp uncover more truths about this narrator.
现在，霍华德… – 是哈罗德
Now, Howard…. -HaroId.
哈罗德，这可能看上去很傻 但是你的坦诚是非常重要的
HaroId. These may seem siIIy, but your candor is paramount.
好的
Okay.
那么
So.
我们知道这是个女人的声音 这个故事涉及到你的死亡
We know it’s a woman’s voice, the story invoIves your death…
现代的，英语的
…it’s modern, it’s in EngIish.
我猜这个作者对这城市的了解很浅显
I’m assuming the author has a cursory knowIedge of the city.
当然 – 好的
Sure. -Okay, good.
问题一
Question one:
最近有人在你家留下礼物吗？
”Has anyone recentIy Ieft any gifts outside your home?”
什么都算，口香糖？钱？
Anything? Gum? Money?
大个的木马？ – 什么？
A Iarge wooden horse? -I’m sorry?
回答问题 – 没有
Just answer the question. -No.
你有没发现自己有解决神秘谋杀的倾向…
”Do you find yourseIf incIined to soIve murder mysteries…
那是在大的，豪华的房♥间里 让我说完
…in Iarge, Iuxurious homes to which–?” Let me finish.
你也许是被邀请到那去的
”To which you may or may not have been invited?”
不，不，不，没有
No. No, no, no.
好的，你觉得你有多大可能…
AII right. On a scaIe of one to 1 0…
被刺杀，从1到10
…what wouId you consider the IikeIihood you might be assassinated?
刺杀？
Assassinated?
1是最不可能，10是最可能
One being very unIikeIy, 1 0 being expecting it around every corner.
我不知道 – 好吧，我换个说法
I have no idea– -Okay. Let me rephrase.
你觉得你是个王吗？
Are you the king of anything?
比如 ? – 随便啦
Like what? -Anything.
比如当地保龄球馆球道之王
King of the Ianes at the IocaI bowIing aIIey.
球道之王？
”King of the Ianes”?
球道之王，矮人之王 – 矮人之王？
King of the Ianes. King of the troIIs. -”King of the troIIs”?
对，那是在你家地板下的神秘土地上
Yes. A cIandestine Iand found underneath your fIoorboards.
随便什么 – 没有
Anything. -No.
不，太荒谬了
No. That’s ridicuIous.
同意，但我们从荒谬开始后退
Agreed. But Iet’s start with ridicuIous and move backwards.
有没有你的一部分曾经是 别的东西的一部分？
Now, was any part of you at one time part of something eIse?
比如我长着别人的胳膊
Like do I have someone eIse’s arms?
嗯，有没可能曾经你是石头…
WeII, is it possibIe at one time that you were made of stone…
木头，碱液，尸体的各个部分…
…wood, Iye, varied corpse parts…
或者是希伯来长者用泥土做成的？
…or earth made hoIy by rabbinicaI eIders?