奇幻人生（2006）

没错 – 看上去只有78%
That’s right. -Looks Iike onIy 7 8 percent.
对
Yep.
你是故意的？
So you did it on purpose?
对
Yep.
那你肯定在等着查你帐了？
So you must have been expecting an audit?
我在等着…
I was expecting a fine…
强有力的申诉
…or a sharp reprimand.
申诉？这可不是寄宿学校，帕斯卡女士
A reprimand? This isn’t boarding schooI, Ms. PascaI.
你偷了政♥府♥的钱
You stoIe from the government.
不，我没偷政♥府♥的钱 我只是没把钱交齐
No, I didn’t steaI from the government. I just didn’t pay you entireIy.
帕斯卡女士，你不能就这么不交税
Ms. PascaI, you can’t just not pay your taxes.
我能
Yes, I can.
除非你想被查账
You can if you wanna get audited.
只要我发现是你来查账，克里克先生
OnIy if I recognize your right to audit me, Mr. Crick.
帕斯卡女士，我就是到这来查账的
Ms. PascaI, I’m right here auditing you.
我现在要核对你过去三年的帐目
Now I have to go over your past three years…
以确认那是仅有的一笔被拖欠的
…to make sure that’s aII you haven’t paid.
好吧
Fine.
实际上，不怎么好
ActuaIIy, you know, it’s not fine.
听着，我很支持整修坑洼路面
Listen, I’m a big supporter of fixing pothoIes…
设立儿童转梯，修建避难所什么的
…and erecting swing sets and buiIding sheIters.
我非常愿意付那部分的税
I am more than happy to pay those taxes.
我只是不怎么支持
I’m just not such a big fan of the percentage…
政♥府♥在国家防御、集体财政紧急援助 和竞选自♥由♥基金
…that the government uses for nationaI defense…
上面花费的比例
…corporate baiIouts and campaign discretionary funds.
所以我不付那部分税
So I didn’t pay those taxes.
我想，实际上…
I think, actuaIIy…
我想发一封信来讨回那部分钱
…I sent a Ietter to that effect with my return.
是不是这封开头是 “亲爱的帝♥国♥主♥义♥猪”
WouId it be the Ietter that begins, ”Dear ImperiaIist Swine”?
是的
Yes.
帕斯卡女士，你形容的那是无政♥府♥状态 你是无政♥府♥主义者吗？
Ms. PascaI, what you’re describing is anarchy. Are you an anarchist?
你是说我是… – 无政♥府♥组织成员，对
You mean am I a member of–? -An anarchist group, yes.
无政♥府♥主义者还有组织？
Anarchists have a group?
我想是吧
I beIieve so. Sure.
他们还集♥合♥起来？
They assembIe?
我不知道
I don’t know.
那样不就有悖初衷了吗？
WouIdn’t that compIeteIy defeat the purpose?
哈罗德很难想象帕斯卡女士是革命者
lt was difficult for Harold to imagine Ms. Pascal as a revolutionary.
现在不行 – 她那瘦弱的胳膊…
Not now. -Her thin arms…
什么？ – 举着反对标语
What? -…hoisting protest signs.
她那纤细的双腿… – 没什么
Her long shapely legs… -Nothing.
在催泪瓦斯下狂奔
…dashing from tear gas.
哈罗德并不倾于幻想
Harold wasn’t prone to fantasies…
所以他尽量保持专业
…and so he tried his best to remain professional.
但是，当然，失败了
But, of course, failed.
他情不自禁地想像着帕斯卡女士…
He couldn’t help but imagine Ms. Pascal…
用她那纤纤细手抚摸他的脸庞
…stroking the side of his face with the soft blade of her finger.
他情不自禁地想像她浸在浴缸里
He couldn’t help but imagine her immersed in a tub…
修剪双腿上的汗毛
…shaving her legs.
他情不自禁地想像她赤♥裸♥的…
And he couldn’t help but imagine her naked…
…伸过他的床边 – 克里克先生？
…stretched across his bed. -Mr. Crick?
克里克先生 – 什么事？
Mr. Crick. -Yes, what is it?
你在盯着我的咪♥咪♥
You’re staring at my tits.
我？不是吧 我想我没有盯着看
I wa–? I don’t think I was. I don’t think I wouId do that.
如果我有，我可以向你保证…
If I was, I can assure you…
…这只是美国政♥府♥的一个代表
…it was onIy as a representative of the United States government.
对不起，我今天还有事 我星期二再来
Sorry, I’m just having issues today. So I’II be back on Tuesday.
哈罗德突然发现自己在烤包店外面
Harold suddenly found himself beleaguered and exasperated…
…被包围和激怒了 – 闭嘴！
…outside the bakery… -Shut up!
…诅咒老天无济于事
…cursing the heavens in futility.
不，我没在咒你，你这弱智的声音！
No, I’m not, I’m cursing you, you stupid voice!
闭上嘴，别管我！
So shut up and Ieave me aIone!
嘿，看着点！
Hey, watch it!
打扰了
Excuse me.
打扰了
Excuse me.
你是艾芙小姐吗？
Are you Miss EiffeI?
是的 – 太好了
Yes. -ExceIIent.
我能问问您在做什么吗？
May I ask what you’re doing?
研究
Research.
哦，能打断一下吗？ – 好吧
Oh, am I interrupting? -Yes.
对不起，我叫彭妮·艾舍
I’m sorry. I’m Penny Escher.
我是你的出版商的助理
I’m the assistant your pubIishers hired.
间谍 – 助理
The spy. -The assistant.
我提供的服务等同于秘书
I provide the same services as a secretary.
我不需要秘书
I don’t need a secretary.
那我就要找点别的事情打发时间了
Then I wiII have to find some other way of occupying my time.
就像个秃鹰一样盯着我…
Like watching me Iike a vuIture…
因为出版商认为我有写作障碍，对吗？
…because the pubIishers think I have writer’s bIock, right?
你有写作障碍吗？
Do you have writer’s bIock?
这是书页吗？
Are these pages?
是信件，写给我的
They’re Ietters. To me.
你回信吗？ – 我不回信
Are you writing back? -I don’t respond to Ietters.
猜这些烟都是你抽的吧
And I suppose you smoked aII these cigarettes?
不，别人抽完放这的
No, they came pre-smoked.
没错，他们说你很有趣
Yeah, they said you were funny.
你怎么看跳楼这种事？
What do you think about Ieaping off a buiIding?
我不考虑跳楼的事情
I don’t think about Ieaping off buiIdings.
你考虑了 – 不，我尽量想些美好的事情
Yes, you do. -No. I try to think of nice things.
每个人都考虑跳楼的事情
Everyone thinks about Ieaping off buiIdings.
我肯定不考虑
WeII, I certainIy don’t think about Ieaping off of a buiIding.
他们说…
They say–
我从这本无故压抑人的书上读到…
I read this in this fantasticaIIy depressing book.
当你从楼上跳下…
that when you jump from a buiIding…
实际上很少是撞击力杀死你
…it’s rareIy the impact that actuaIIy kiIIs you.
我肯定这书没什么用
WeII, I’m sure it doesn’t heIp.
书上有张照片叫做“跳跃着”
There’s a photograph in the book caIIed The Leaper.
很老，但很漂亮
It’s oId, but it’s beautifuI.
在一具跳楼身亡的妇女尸体上方
From above the corpse of a woman who’d just Ieapt to her death.
头部周围都是血，就像光晕…
There’s bIood around her head, Iike a haIo…
下面是双腿扭在一起 胳膊像小树枝一样折断
…and her Ieg’s buckIed underneath, her arm’s snapped Iike a twig…
但是她的表情平静
…but her face is so serene…
很安详
…so at peace.
我想那是因为她死的时候
And I think it’s because when she died…
她能感觉到拂面的清风
…she couId feeI the wind against her face.
我不知道怎样杀死哈罗德·克里克 他们就是为这个派你来的吧
I don’t know how to kiII HaroId Crick. That’s why they sent you.
是的，来帮你
Yes, to heIp you.
你怎样帮我？
How are you gonna heIp me?
你这个从没考虑过跳楼的人？
You, who never thinks of Ieaping off buiIdings?
你能给我什么灵感？
What great inspiration wiII you bestow on me?
我告诉你，你在可敬的“助理”生涯中
I’II teII you, the quaint ideas you’ve gathered…
积累起来的新奇的想法
…in your adorabIe career as an ”assistant”…
面对杀死一个人这种问题时毫无用处
…are to no avaiI when faced with kiIIing a man.
我明白
I understand.
是吗？我只是不能…
Do you? I can’t just–
就我来说…
As much as I wouId Iike to…
我不能简单地把哈罗德·克里克从楼上扔下去
…I cannot simpIy throw HaroId Crick off a buiIding.
艾芙小姐，凯，我做作家助理11年了
Miss EiffeI. Kay. I’ve been an author’s assistant for 1 1 years.
我帮助了超过20个作家 完成了超过35本书
I’ve heIped more than 20 authors compIete more than 35 books…
从未错过期限
…and I’ve never missed the deadIine.
我从没有过回到出版商那里多争取时间
And I have never gone back to the pubIisher to ask for more time.
现在我随时供您调遣
Now, I wiII be avaiIabIe to you every minute of every day…
直到最后一个标点写在最后一页纸上
…untiI the finaI punctuation is embedded on the very Iast page.
我不喜欢丝竹乱耳 不能容忍♥麻醉自我
I do not Iike Ioud music. I do not abide narcotics.
我要高兴地平静地 帮你杀死哈罗德·克里克
And I wiII gIadIy and quietIy heIp you kiII HaroId Crick.
我和你的部门有些人唠了唠嗑
I had a very interesting IittIe convo with someone in your section.
是吗？
Yeah?
他们说你感觉有点忽忽悠悠
They said you were feeIing a IittIe wibbIy-wobbIy.
屋里闷太久了？
Catch a IittIe cubicIe fever?
我不知道，我觉得我很好
Oh, I don’t know. I think I’m okay.
哈罗德，树不觉得自己是树…
HaroId, a tree doesn’t think it’s a tree…