苏菲的抉择（1982）

It should be a better place for me to write.
我们把你赶走了
We have driven you away.
这跟你们无关
It has nothing to do with you.
今天我跟白拉士多医生谈了
I spoke with Dr. Blackstock today.
斯汀戈 你到那里找过我吗
Oh, Stingo, did you go looking for me there?
我应该留字条通知你我去了哪
I would’ve left you a note where I went,
我一时没想起来 对不起
but I just didn’t think of it. I’m sorry.
让你担心我了
I’m sorry you worried about me.
他似乎认为你的朋友桑珍知道你的下落
He seemed to think that your friend Sonja might know where you were.
索尼娅 索尼娅·之士加 她回波兰去了
Sonja? Sonja Wajinska? But she went back to Poland.
我知道
Yeah, I know that.
我去过布鲁克林大学
I went over to the Brooklyn College.
她以前替语言学教授工作
She used to work for a language professor there.
是
Yes.
我想你见过他一次了
I think you met him once.
他认识你父亲
He knew your father.
是 我父亲
Yeah, my father.
他在克拉科大学
He heard him lecture once
听过他一堂课 我想你父亲是在该大学任教
at the University of Krakow which, I believe, is where your father taught.
他对你说了我爸的事
Yeah, if he told you, then he told you about my father.
苏菲 你为何对我说谎
Sophie, why did you lie to me?
对 我说谎 知道为何吗 我很害怕
Yeah, I lied because, you know why? I was so afraid.
我怕被离弃
I was afraid I would be left alone!
所以
So…
别了 我的朋友
Goodbye, my friend.
苏菲 我想明白
Sophie, I want to understand.
我想知道真♥相♥
I’d like to know the truth.
真♥相♥
The truth
并不令你更易明白
does not make it easier to understand, you know.
我是指你以为知道我的底细
I mean, you think that you find out the truth about me,
便可以了解我 便可以原谅我的一切
and then you’ll understand me and then you’d forgive me for all those…
一切谎言
For all my lies.
我答应不离弃你
I promise I’ll never leave you.
你绝对不能这样答应
You must never promise that.
没有人应该这样答应
No one, no one should ever promise that.
真♥相♥
Oh, the truth.
真♥相♥ 说了这么多谎话之后
The truth. I don’t even know what is the truth.
我根本不知道什么是真♥相♥
After all these lies I have told.
我爸
My father.
我可以如何说明我多深爱父亲呢
How can I explain how much I loved my father?
我爸相信人类是有可能完美的
My father believed that human perfection was a possibility.
我每晚祷告求上帝宽恕我
Every night I pray to God to forgive me
经常令爸爸失望
for always making a disappointment to my father.
我祷告求她
And I pray to him
给这个出色的人机会发挥才能
to make me worthy of such a great, good man.
我长大成人
I was a grown woman.
我成年了
I was fully come of age.
我结了婚
I was a married woman
后来我发现自己原来对父亲有难以言传的痛恨
when I realized that I hate my father beyond all words to tell it.
那是1938年冬天
It was winter of 1938.
数星期以来我爸在埋头写演讲词
And my father was working for weeks on the speech he calls
“波兰的犹太人问题”
“Poland Jewish Problem.”
通常这类演讲词是由我来打字
Ordinarily I typed those speeches
我对他说的意思从不深究
and I don’t hear to the words, to their meaning.
但这次有一个词汇重复了数次
But this time I came upon a word, repeats several times,
是我从未听过的
that I have never heard before.
波兰犹太人问题的解决方法
The solution for Poland Jewish Problem,
他的结论是灭绝
he concludes, is die Vernichtung.
灭绝
Extermination.
那个下午我原本无意到犹太人住区
I had not meant to go to the ghetto that afternoon,
但有些事驱使我去了
but something made me go there.
我站在那里不知多久
I stood there, I don’t know how long,
看着这些我父亲要致死的人
watching these people that my father has condemned to die.
灭绝这些男人 女人
For all these men, these women,
和儿童
these children, die Vernichtung.
灭绝
Extermination.
忽然我想起我爸在等那份演讲词
I suddenly remembered that my father is waiting for that speech,
于是我赶回家完成它
and I hurry home to finish the typing,
由于赶忙
but in my rushing and my haste to finish that,
我打错了很多字
I make so many mistakes in the sentences.
我跑去大学
And I run with it to the university,
爸爸来不及核稿便演说
and my father has no time to check that before speaking.
他站在出席者面前读出讲稿
And he get up in front of all those people, and he reads the speech
把打错的都读了 我看得出他很恼火
and make those mistakes and I see him getting so angry.
演讲完他走过来
And when it was over, he came up to me.
我当然跟丈夫在一起
I was with my husband, of course.
他当着我丈夫和他的所有同事说
And in front of him and all his colleagues he said,
“苏莎 你这人头猪脑”
“Zosia, your intelligence is pulp.”
人头猪脑
Pulp.
我当时没有勇气说
I did not have any courage to say,
“是 但那些犹太人又如何”
“Yes, but what about the Jews?”
犹太人 但
The Jewish people, but…
那次之后 我爸和丈夫都不信任我
After that, he didn’t trust me anyway. And neither did my husband.
后来在华沙
After that in Warsaw,
我有了爱人
I had a lover
他对我很好
who was very, very good to me.
苏菲 你一定要帮我们
You must help us, Sophie.
别再折磨她
Stop torturing her.
约瑟夫跟同父异母的姐姐万达同住
Jozef lived with his half-sister Wanda.
她是反抗派的领袖
She was a leader in the Resistance.
苏菲
Sophie!
什么事
What is that?
照片上是不获批准参加德国化计划的孩子
It’s a photo of children rejected from the Germanization program.
生命之泉计划
The “Lebensborn” program.
这些儿童的
These are children
父母是波兰人
taken from Polish parents
他们起初以为这些儿童
who, at first, were believed
有亚利安种族的特征
to have Aryan racial features.
他们被送往德国
They were to be taken to Germany
当作德国人抚养
and raised as Germans.
但到了某个阶段他们认定
But, at some point, it was decided
这些儿童并非适合的种族
that they were racially unsuitable.
并非适合
Unsuitable!
因此决定
That’s why they were consigned
要弃掉
for disposal.
我们只是要求你翻译一些偷来的盖世太保文件
All we ask of you is to translate some stolen Gestapo documents.
不可以
I can’t.
我不能令我的子女有危险
I cannot endanger my children.
下次会轮到你的子女
Your children could be next.
不 我不想牵涉在内
No. No. I do not want to get involved.
两周后 约瑟夫被盖世太保杀了
Two weeks later, the Gestapo killed Jozef.
他被割喉而死
They cut his throat.
他们很有勇气
They had courage.
天 他们很有勇气
Oh, God, they had courage.
约瑟夫被杀后不久我被捕
Not long after they killed Jozef, I was arrested.
我和子女一同被送往奥斯维辛集中营
My children were sent with me to Auschwitz.
当火车到达奥斯维辛
When the train arrived at Auschwitz,
德军便选人
the Germans made the selection,
选出谁可活命谁要受死
who would live and who would die.
我的儿子扬
Jan, my little boy…
我的儿子扬被送往坚达拉之
Jan, my little boy, was sent to the Kinderlager,
那是儿童集中营
which was the children’s camp.
我的女儿伊娃被送往二号♥化葬场
And my little girl, Eva, was sent to crematorium two.
她被灭绝了
She was exterminated.
因为我德语流利而且通晓秘书技能
Thanks to my perfect German and my secretarial skills,
这些都是爸教我的
the things my father had taught me so well,
我被安排
I came to work
替奥斯维辛灭绝营的司令鲁道夫·赫斯工作
for Reichsfuhrer, Rudolf Hoess, Commandant of Auschwitz-Birkenau.
他们带我去替赫斯工作那天
The day they took me to work for Hoess,
押我到25号♥营房♥
I was forced to walk past Block 25.
他们在那儿选出