心理医师（2009）

Yo, this is Evan. what’s up?
我们要是每天晚上都能这样就好了
We should do this every night.
我们要组个乐队
We should start a band.
我们要组个乐队
We should start a band.
那我们的乐队叫什么呢
What would our band be called?
让我们来想想呢
Let’s think.
神经病乐队
The Neurotics.
神经病乐队吗 我喜欢这个名字
The Neurotics. I love it.
都是我的错
It’s my fault.
我本来能预料到的
I should’ve seen it coming.
我是说 我们所有的朋友都离开了
I mean, all the friends we had are gone.
我剩下的就只有病人了
I just have patients now.
可你仍然是个上帝的使者
Well, you still have a step-godbrother.
谁还想成为我的病人呢
Who wants to be my patient?
伟大的上帝
Jesus christ almighty,
你的脸像卡车司机一样憔悴
Your face looks like a truck driver’s nutsack.
谢谢 父亲 昨夜太过漫长了
Thanks, dad. it was a long night.
是的 我也这么认为
Yeah, I bet.
一直在思考你的梦想
Been thinking about your dream.
我觉得你应该不做梦的
I thought you didn’t do dreams.
不 当然不是
No, I don’t.
但是对于你来说
But in your case…
对于一个海员来说
“it’s a comfort for seafarers to know
不论他们要前行的海是多么陌生
“that no matter on what strange water they may venture,
只要有航向的指引就会觉得安心
“there are always pilots within call.
但一旦灾难来到每个人必须自救
But yet the sufferer must help himself.”
那就是Kierkegaard
That’s Kierkegaard.
他喜欢他的工作
Love his work.
喂
Hey.
我在电影院见过你
I saw you at the movie.
是的 怎么啦
Yeah, so?
想喝杯咖啡或者去吃点其他的吗
Do you maybe want to have a cup of coffee or something?
为什么啊
Why?
我觉得我们有很多相似点
I think we might have a lot in common.
或许吧 我要走了
Yeah. I gotta go.
等等 我叫杰瑞米
Wait, wait, wait. my name’s Jeremy.
我是一个作家而且我有女朋友了
I’m a writer and I have a girlfriend.
他和我一样大 我不是一个骗子
She’s my age, so I’m not a weirdo or anything.
听着 我只是想和你喝杯咖啡
Look, I just would really like to have a cup of coffee with you.
喜欢上学吗
You like school?
或许吧
I guess.
或许?
You guess?
怎么我觉得是不喜欢呢
Sounds like a “no” to me.
那又怎么样呢
It’s all whatever.
怎么样
Whatever.
这个词是我以前喜欢用的
That’s a word I used
当我在高中时用过许多次
Many, many times when I was in high school myself.
实际上…
Yeah, I actually…
事实上我被停职一个星期
I actually got suspended for a week because
因为我写了篇报告叫《无政♥府♥人士指南》
I wrote a report on this book called the anarchist’s cookbook.
-什么 -就是这本书的报道
– What? – It’s this book…
主要是叫你怎么做炸♥弹♥的
It basically tells you how to make bombs.
我不会去做炸♥弹♥ 但我在写这篇报道
I wasn’t trying to make bombs, but I was trying to do this report
为了披露这帮颠覆分子什么的
And show this subversive society, whatever.
这可是一件很严重的事情
This whole big thing.
你呢 你曾被解雇过吗
What about you? You ever get kicked out?
停职或者其他的吗
Suspended or anything?
你觉得呢
What do you think?
可能吧
Probably.
可能吧
Probably.
对吗
Yeah?
是吧? 你有过 不是吗
Yeah? You did, didn’t you?
想今晚和我一起去个聚会吗
Do you want to go to this party with me tonight?
你说真的吗
Really?
到了 杰玛·布朗
All right, Jemma brown.
卡特医生?
Dr. Carter?
要我帮你拿刮胡刀吗
Would you like me to get you a razor?
你就能剃个胡子了
So you could shave?
不用
No.
-你确定? -是的
– You sure about that? – Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
我和亨利·卡特一起来的
I’m here with dr. Henry carter.
心理学专家
Him, the shrink of the stars.
他是一位洛杉矶的治疗专家
He’s a therapist practicing in Los Angeles.
-一位畅销书作家… -嘿 亲爱的
– A bestselling author… – Hey, babe.
就是那个人吧 是吗
That’s your guy, isn’t it?
当然包括他1995年的著作…
Including, of course, his 1995 classic…
是的 不要难过
Yeah. …stop feeling sad.
很高兴您能来
Doctor, it’s good to have you here.
今天晚上我们的主题是自杀
Tonight’s topic is suicide,
很多人不明白…
With the implicit question…
他们为什么要这么做
Why do they do it?
您能给我们这灰色主题指向光明吗
Can you shed some light on this dark topic for us?
你的问题是 他们为什么这么做?
“Why do they do it?” that’s your question?
是的
Yes.
我当然知道
I ought to know.
我老婆就是自杀的
My wife committed suicide.
他留给我了一封信
She wrote me a letter.
一张纸条
A note.
你或许可以称它为纸条
You’re supposed to call it a note.
我是一个骗子 大骗子
I’m a fraud. A big fraud.
你真的相信你说的是真的吗
Do you honestly believe what you’re saying?
这本书
This book.
这本书
This book.
为了使我觉得舒服点我才写了这本书
I wrote this book to feel better about myself.
不要买♥♥这本书
Don’t buy this book.
它是在胡说
It’s bullshit.
不要买♥♥这本书
Don’t buy this book.
不要买♥♥这本书
Don’t buy this book.
都是在胡说
It’s all bullshit.
都是胡说 看了你会死的
It’s all bullshit, and then you die.
我们知道那已经开始了
We knew that going in.
不好意思 接个电♥话♥
Sorry, I gotta take this.
喂
Hello.
上帝
Oh, my god.
什么使别人做那样的事啊
What would make somebody do something like that?
在我那该死的门口拉屎
Take a shit on my goddamn porch.
嘿 你在调戏我的助手吗
Hey. Are you poking my assistant?
虽然我没有注意到 但是她怀孕了
Cause I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she’s pregnant,
已经开始变得臃肿了
And that’s just fucking gross.
你真的喜欢她吗
You really like her.
是的
Yeah.
好吧 她是一个好人
Yeah, she’s a good kid.
别告诉她我和你说过这个
Don’t tell her I said that.
你男朋友能回家了
You guys can go home.
-我们会在这里 -不 真的不需要
– We’ll stay. – No, really.
我有最合适的人选了
I got my best man on it.
是约翰·布鲁西的房♥间吗
Is this the John Belushi suite?
怎么啦
What does it say?
让我看看 可♥卡♥因♥
Let’s see. cocaine.
安♥非♥他♥命♥
Amphetamines.
氯硝西泮制剂 都是你体内的
Klonopin. soma?
还有酒精
Alcohol.
朋友 看来你有酗酒的毛病
You have a drinking problem, my friend.
我是爱尔兰人
I’m irish.
克他命是怎么回事
What the fuck is ketamine?
-是给马用的镇静剂 -我知道
– it’s a horse tranquilizer. – of course it is.
接下来我要说的可能会让你受不了
You may want to stand up for this next part.
你开什么玩笑
You fucking kidding?
我和Keira做了
I did it with Keira.
-你说什么 -我和Keira做♥爱♥了