黑麦巷 Rye Lane（2023）

事实上，要是我有一家餐厅 我会帮它取名「烛光蠢蛋」
In fact, if I had a restaurant, I’d call it “Nuggets by Candlelight”.
-别笑，我没在开玩笑 -鲁蛇
-No, but I’m not even joking. -Loser.
她怎麽能觉得那不可爱呢？
How could she not find that cute?
我不知道
I don’t know.
但那是我的一面之词，对吧？
But that is my side of the story, innit?
我相信吉雅一定有一大堆 关于我的分手徵兆
I bet Gia must have loads of writin’-on-the-wall stories about me.
又来了，又想要扛责任了
And there you go again, trying to share the blame.
我只是想说要是他们其实注定是一对呢？
Well, I’m just saying, what if they actually are meant to be?
-吉雅和艾瑞克？ -对
-Gia and Eric? -Yeah.
万一我才是邂逅故事中的尴尬男主角呢？
What if I’m the awkward hook-up story?
或是未来伴郎致词中的一个趣事？
A funny anecdote in a future best man’s speech?
天啊，你也太宽容了吧
Wow. That is insanely forgiving.
我知道，或许是妳激励了我
I know. Maybe you’ve just inspired me.
妳对前男友的事好冷静喔
How chill you are about your ex.
或许是时候我也试试
Maybe it’s time I tried that shit.
并不是每个人都能这麽开明，这需要天分
Hey. Not everyone can be this, uh, progressive. Takes talent.
所以你是会隆重示爱的人囉？
So, you were a grand gesture guy, then?
超喜欢的
Big time.
我有一次把巧克力藏在我女友的床上
I once hid chocolates in my girlfriend’s bed,
但巧克力融化了，她以为我在床上大便
but they melted, and she thought I shit myself.
-我不会那麽做了 -是吗？
-I won’t be doing that again. – Uh-huh.
我们该去喝一杯
We should go get a drink.
没错
Definitely.
我会让你今晚错过最后一班火车
I’ll make you miss your last train today.
是这样吗？
Is it now?
-Mm-hmm.
不，说真的，我不行
No, but seriously, I can’t.
但很好玩的话，你根本不会察觉
But if you’re havin’ a good time, you won’t realise.
如果错过了就得搭夜间公车
If I miss it, it’s a night bus.
够走运的话还可以搭计程车
And if I’m lucky enough to survive that, it’s a taxi.
不是优步喔，是计程车
Not an Uber, a taxi.
但偶尔你得告诉自己 「我要看看会怎样」
Yeah, but sometimes you just gotta say, “I’ma see what happens.”
去他的，不要有计画，完全豁出去
Like, fuck it. No plannin’, balls to the wall,
只需要跟着感觉走
just go where the breeze takes you.
「我要看看会怎样」？
“I’ma see what happens”?
这对你的心灵有好处，相信我
It’s good for the soul, trust.
怎麽样？
So?
我有时间
I got time.
我要一杯蔓越莓汁和一杯啤酒
Can I get a cranberry juice, a pint of lager
还要一包盐醋洋芋片
and a packet of salt and vinegar?
谢谢
-Thank you.
我是雅丝
Yas speaking.
妳好，我是电影之上的服装设计师泰瑞莎
Hey, this is Theresa from Upon Films. The costume designer.
妳好
Oh, hi.
很抱歉这麽做 但我们得把妳的面试延后半小时
Yeah, sorry to do this, but we’re gonna have to shift you back half an hour?
这样可以吗？
Is that okay?
妳知道吗？
-You know what?
-这其实对我来说不太方便 -谢谢
-That actually doesn’t work for me. -Thank you.
可以再约改天吗？
Is it cool if I reschedule?
我们其实是希望今天能有个决定
Yeah, actually, we were hoping to make a decision today.
-抱歉 -好的
-Sorry. -Uh, okay.
-爱妳喔，待会见，掰 -真的…
-Love you. See you later, bye! -Yeah– Uh–
喂？喂…
-Hello? Hello–
-是谁？ -是凯西
-Who’s that? -Oh, that-that was Cass.
她好吗？
How is she?
很好，比较好了
Yeah, yeah, better.
谢谢
Thank you.
我…我本来想问妳
Hey, I was, um, I was meaning to ask you.
-妳真的在交友软体上认出艾瑞克吗？ -假的
-Do you really recognise Eric from Tinder? -Oh. [chuckles] No.
但你知道他还在那上面猎豔
But you just know he’s still on there, huntin’.
我猜你不在交友软体上吧？
I’m guessing you’re not on the apps, no?
没有
Nah.
那是再度回到小学过情人节
It’s Valentine’s Day at primary school all over again.
等等，让我猜猜
Oh, wait, let me guess.
小时候的唐没收到任何卡片
Little Dom didn’t get any cards.
没错，但妳知道谁收到吗？
-No. But you know who did?
路易斯杨，他九岁就长毛了
Lewis Younge, who had pubes at nine
还会为了好玩去打别人的蛋蛋
and would punch people in the nuts for fun.
那种男生怎麽都叫路易斯呢？
Why are guys like that always called Lewis?
就是啊，对吧？
I know, right?
现在每个人只要有好看的大头贴就好了
And now, everyone’s only as good as their profile pic.
就会像路易斯杨那样收到一大堆卡片
We’re back to Lewis Younge and his drawer full of cards.
妳还没跟我说妳分手的故事
Oh! You still haven’t told me your break-up story.
那真的没那麽惊天动地
Uh, it really isn’t that deep.
不对，妳跟他提分手后就不再回头了
No, no. You broke up with him and didn’t look back.
妳是我的偶像
That’s iconic.
-说呀…说呀 -别说了，闭嘴
-‘Ey, ‘ey, ‘ey. – Stop. Shut up.
不，还有…妳都见过我前女友了
No, also– also, dude, you met my ex.
好的，好吧
Ah, oh. Okay. Fine.
我们分手是因为「探索一族」
We broke up because of A Tribe Called Quest.
妈的
– Aw, fuck! -Oh.
宝贝，你今天过得怎麽样？
Hey, babe. How’s your day been?
平澹无奇，再加上整个宇宙 都想要跟我作对
Mediocre with a sprinklin’ of the entire universe trying to fuck with me.
等等，等一下
Wait, wait, wait.
朱尔斯？
Jules?
奈森的朋友？那个凋塑家？
Nathan’s mate? The sculptor?
他是妳前男友？
That’s your ex?
他不只是做凋塑
Oh, he doesn’t just sculpt.
他说自己是博学多才的艺术家
He calls himself an artistic polymath,
也就是溷蛋的另一种称呼
which is just another term for being a cunt.
但没错，就是他
-But, yeah, him.
我们的感情开始有点乏味
Things were getting kind of stale,
所以我决定重新注入点激♥情♥，懂吗？
so I decided to try and get things flowing again, you know?
重燃爱的火花
Reawaken the magic.
妳的口气
Your breath.
那是鹰嘴豆泥惹的祸
That will be the homemade hummus.
听好了
-Listen.
妳知道我的头脑在创作新作品时是怎样的
You know how my head gets when I’ve been working on something new.
我要吃点饼乾沾鹰嘴豆泥
I will take some of that hummus on a cracker.
请妳告诉我妳当下就把他甩了
Please tell me you dumped his arse right there and then.
-对啊 -没错吧？
-Yeah! -Right?
-对吧？ -甩掉他
-Right? -Get rid of him.
没有，我认怂了 然后帮这个溷蛋拿了该死的鹰嘴豆泥
Nope. I took a big L and got this prick some fucking hummus.
我以为喝了几口红酒、听了几首歌♥…
I figured, a few sips of wine, some tunes…
（《低端理论》）
-Wow!
真棒！
宝贝，我现在感觉对声音有点敏感
Babe, feeling a bit sonically sensitive right now.
所以妳介意为了我 把那垃圾音乐关得超小声吗？
So, do you mind turning that shit, like, way down for me?
他竟然说「探索一族」是垃圾？
He called Tribe “that shit”?
你可能要克制一下你的愤怒 因为还有更精彩的
You might wanna ration your disdain because there’s more.
喂，妳挡住我看电视了
Hi. You’re blocking the TV.
好啊
Oh, okay.
真有趣
– Interesting.
-布希鞋 -该死的，抱歉
-Crocs. -Oh, fuck. Sorry.
我要转发一篇文章给妳 是关于嘻哈音乐对于暴♥力♥的宣传
You know, I’m gonna forward you an article about how hip-hop’s promotion of violence
如何延续了争议性的黑人刻板印象
continues to perpetuate problematic Black stereotypes.
什麽？
What?
我就是在那个时候醒悟的
And that’s when it hit me.
我已变得乏味无趣、毫无特色
I had become basic.
所以那时候我想到了简单的信条
So, there and then, I came up with a simple ethos
帮助引导我应付生活的各个方面
to help guide me through all aspects of my life.
如果你做了鹰嘴豆泥
If you make the hummus,
你该对准小头
you should get the head.
搞什麽？
What the fuck?
太棒了
-Yes!
太棒了！取得胜利
-Yes! Get in, get in.
所以正当那溷蛋在清理 他鸡鸡上的鹰嘴豆泥时
So while that prick was washing smooshed up chickpeas out of his pubes,
我收拾好我所有的东西就离开了
I packed up any shit I had around there and bounced.
只有一个问题
Only one snag.
逃跑得太匆忙了，我忘了…
In my rush to escape, I forgot–
不，别说出来
No. Don’t say it.