Seriously, what is it with you two and other people’s underwear?
对啊，是有点奇怪
Yeah, that is a bit weird.
针对你的问题，我想说 我不知道今天会怎样结束
In answer to your question, I don’t know how today is gonna end.
但虽然一直都很奇怪
But, as weird as it’s been,
这好像也是有史以来 最美好的一天，所以…
it’s also kind of been one of the greatest days ever, so…
连坐在机车后座也算？
Even being on the back of the moped?
不，我很不喜欢
No, I hated that.
这样其实很甜蜜
Aw, that is actually really cute.
说完了没？
Are you done?
-因为我想拿回我的资产 -但这不是你的吧？
-‘Cause I’d like my property back now. -It’s not yours though, is it?
-开什麽玩笑？别搞溷了，行吗？ -搞什…
-Oh, seriously, don’t be confused. Yeah? -What’s the–
别因为我能把和服穿得很时髦 就以为我不能痛扁你一顿
Just ’cause I know how to rock a kimono doesn’t mean I can’t fuck you up!
喂，住手，听我说，你不会想跟我打架的
Hey, hey, hey. Listen. You don’t wanna fight me.
你的手是你的工具 而我的脸是出了名的皮包骨
Your hands are your tools, and I have a notoriously bony face.
所以我们马上就离开了，带着唱片 但很高兴认识你们…
So, we’ll be leaving now, with the record, but it was lovely to meet you both–
我的天啊
-Oh. Oh, my God.
我花了好几週才做好的
I posed for that for weeks!
我真的真的…
-Oh. Oh, I am so, so, so–
-妈的 -你…
– Ah, fuck! – Are you–
你在干嘛？你干嘛打他？
What are you doing? Why did you do that?
-离我男人远一点 -我不要妳的…
– Whoa! -Stay away from my man!
别打了
-I don’t want your– -No! No!
-妳是神经病 -妳脑筋有问题吗？
-You’re a psycho! -What’s your problem?
大家请小心我的艺术品
Everybody, please watch the fucking art.
妳知道吗？我跟妳之间的事 其实让我很内疚
You know, I actually felt guilty about how it went down between us.
但是现在，我知道甩掉妳是正确的决定
But now, I know I made the right decision dumping your arse.
雅丝？雅丝？
Yas? Yas!
等等，我不明白，是他甩了妳？
Wait, I don’t understand. He dumped you?
对
Yeah.
-但妳跟我说… -我知道我说过什麽
-But you told me– -I know what I told you.
拜託，你喜欢是我甩掉他的 你说我是你的偶像
Come on. You loved that I dashed him. You said I was iconic.
-我以为那是事实 -我们其实才刚认识
-That’s what I thought actually happened. -Me and you had literally just met.
我觉得你不会想听我伤心的故事
I didn’t think you wanted to hear my whole sob story.
-妳让我说了我的 -无需太用力说服你
-You made me tell you mine. -It didn’t take much persuading.
不，抱歉，听好了
No. Sorry. Look.
妳想把责任推在我头上，因为我太诚实？
You’re trying to turn this around on me for being too truthful?
算了，你真的想知道所有肮髒的细节吗？
Fine. You really wanna hear all the grimy details?
我好几週都穿着同一件休閒裤无所事事
I sat around in the same pair of joggers for weeks,
边吃着香肠捲边哭 传了无数难堪、祈求复合的语♥音♥讯息
cryin’ into Greggs sausage rolls, leaving cringy, begging voicemails.
如果还不够的话
And as if that wasn’t enough,
我在大花猫妈妈的脸书上 还不小心帮她五年前的照片按了讚
I accidentally liked a photo of Tabby from five years ago on her mum’s Facebook.
所以朱尔斯跟每个朋友说我是跟踪狂
So, Jules told all our friends I was a stalker,
然后他们每一个 除了凯西，都相信了他的话
and every single one of them, except for Cass, believed him.
那真的糟透了 但妳怎麽不直接告诉我就好了？
That’s really shit. But why wouldn’t you just tell me that?
我不太容易敞开心胸，唐
I’m not good at this, Dom.
我们能去喝杯啤酒 然后再从头开始吗？拜託
Can we just go get a beer and start over, please?
不行
I can’t.
为什麽不行？
Why not?
因为妳一开始就说谎
Because you lied to me from the jump.
吉雅至少过了一阵子才骗我
At least Gia waited a while.
我不是吉雅
I’m not Gia.
-我知道，我知道 -我没去睡你最好的朋友
-I know. I know that. -I didn’t fuck your best mate.
我只是稍微改编了我的故事 有什麽大不了的？
I just curated my shit a little bit. Big fucking deal.
或许你也该试试 或许你的抽屉裡就会有较多卡片了
Maybe you should try it. Maybe then you’d have a few more cards left in your drawer.
可能吧，但至少我还是真实的
Maybe, but at least I’d still be real.
你赢了，天啊，还有比这更真实的吗？ 你都二十几岁了
You win. God, there’s nothing realer than being in your twenties
还在爸妈家的单人床上打手♥枪♥，有吗？
and still wanking away in a single bed at your parents’ house there, is there?
还敢说我？妳不是才刚闯入前男友家
Coming from the girl who literally just broke into her ex’s flat
只为了见他一面吗？
so she could see him again.
你太不可理喻了 你说得好像我还没放下朱尔斯
This is wild. You’re trying to make out like I’m not over Jules
而吉雅却一直都还住在你脑海裡
when Gia lives in your head rent free.
不如我们去找间厕所吧 那你就能在裡面痛哭了
Hey, how about we go find a toilet so you can have a big cry in it.
♪ Sipping on my lemon and ginger And I can count the times ♪
夜间公车！
Night bus! Whoop-whoop!
♪ When things weren’t wonderful ♪
Whoop.
♪ But worthwhile love is a handful ♪
♪ I mean when I say ♪
♪ You’re beautiful ♪
♪ Don’t waste your tears On those images ♪
♪ You have too many years ahead of you And not too many before you ♪
♪ Darling ♪
♪ Let go of the hurt in your heart ♪
♪ Baby, I’ve said from the start ♪
（刚刚到底发生了什麽事？）
♪ I’m here beside you ♪
♪ Took too long to find you ♪
♪ I’m not goin’ anywhere I’m not goin’ anywhere, no ♪
（妈） （你今天会从你房♥裡出来吗？）
♪ Times have been hard ♪
♪ And in those instances ♪
♪ Our feet are trottin’ broken glass ♪
♪ Don’t forget ♪
♪ What we already have ♪
（辣）
♪ We can keep going ♪
♪ But hold on to what we have ♪
是唐
Dom.
史提夫麦昆是个天才
Steve McQueen is a genius.
的确如此
Facts.
妳在跟踪我吗？
Are you stalking me?
对，不，不是，我没在跟踪妳
Y-Yes. No. No, I’m not stalking you.
只是从后面看，妳有点像…
Just, from behind, you kinda look–
妳…妳看起来像一个人，所以…
You– You look like someone, so…
抱歉，别在意 我没在看妳的屁♥股♥，我只是…
Sorry, you don’t care, and I wasn’t looking at your behind. I’m just–
（我要看看会怎样）
这裡好简朴，我很喜欢
It’s so rustic here. I love it.
不，这真的很可爱 有点海♥洛♥因♥时尚风，我喜欢
No, it’s really cute. It’s, like, heroin-chic. I love it.
（妳好） （我叫路易斯）
♪ Darlin’ ♪
-♪ Let go of the hurt in your heart ♪
♪ Baby, I’ve said from the start ♪
♪ I’m here beside you ♪
（你好） （我叫雅丝）
-我喜欢葡萄酒 -真的？
– Oh, I-I like wine. – Yeah?
对，我今晚喝啤酒，但是…
Yeah. I’m on beer tonight, but…
对啊，我有发现到，没关係
Yeah, I noticed. That’s okay.
你好！电影之上公♥司♥
Hello! Upon Films.
妳好，我是雅丝，我跟阿曼约了12点
Hi, it’s Yas. I have a twelve o’clock meeting with Aman?
这裡就是有名服装设计师瞎溷的地方吗？
Is this where the big-time costume designers hang out?
恭喜恭喜！
Congratulations!
二十年前的今天
Twenty years ago today, Linda and Ken signed their names
琳达和小肯在彼此的心上刻了对方的名字
-across each other’s hearts. – Dom?
-唐？ -对，谢谢，朋友
Yeah. Cheers, mate.
这是送给妳的，琳达 我很喜欢这种轻鬆的经典歌♥曲
This one’s for you, Linda. I love this smooth classic.
♪ Sign your name across my heart ♪
♪ I want you to be my baby ♪
（奈森阿姆斯壮，奈森摄影展） （南岸空间，2022年）
-拜託妳去嘛，求妳了 -不，不要，离我远点
– Please come. Please. – No. No, leave me alone.
我不需要这种压力 去参加奈森新的展览，还要假装说
I don’t need all this pressure to go to Nathan’s new show
-and be like, “Fancy bumping into you!”
「真高兴遇到你！」
我真的要经历这种事吗？不要
It’s just like, do I really wanna put myself through that? No.
我不需要听他没完没了地谈论他前女友
I don’t need to be listening to him bang on about his ex
一边又在看别的女生的屁♥股♥
whilst looking at a bunch of arses.
妳别生气喔
No offence.
（一流租车公♥司♥）
准备好快乐摇滚吧
Get ready to rock ‘n’ roll.
妈，我已经是大人了，我不会有事的
Mum, I’m a big boy. I’ll be fine.
要放在后面吗？
D-Do you wanna put that in the back?
不用了，谢谢
No, I’m good.
好吧
Okay.
你知道吗？朋友
You know what? My boy.
掰，唐的妈妈和爸爸，爱你们喔
Bye, Dom’s mummy and dad. Love you.
好吧，或许我该脆弱一点，知道吗？ 让他进入我内心一点
Fine. Maybe I could have been a bit more vulnerable, you know? Let him in a bit.
但那有点…那个…
But that’s a bit… Like…
我以前都相信那些童话故事
I used to believe in all that fairy-tale,
「伦敦的厕所那麽多 我竟然走进了他的」这种屁话
“Of all the toilets in all of London, I walked into his” type-bullshit.
但那不叫缘分 只不过是膀胱的控制力很差
But that’s not fate. That’s just poor bladder control.
其实我不介意去上一下厕所
I wouldn’t mind the toilet, actually.
再加上，那是我们认识第一天
And also, it was day one.
帮我修眉的女生跟我认识的时间还比他久
I mean, I’ve had a longer relationship with the woman who threads my eyebrows,
我跟她，怎麽说呢？
and me and her, well–
我跟她几乎没话聊
Well, me and her, we don’t really talk about anything.
我根本没那麽哈他
I wasn’t even that into him.
他人很好吗？没错
-I mean, was he nice? Yes.
跟他在一起很舒服吗？是啊 会有结果吗？不知道
Did I feel comfortable around him? Yes. Was it ever going to work? I don’t know.
或许吧，但这就是人生 还有妳知道吗？我非常享受单身
Maybe, but that’s life, and, you know, I love being single. Like so much so.
-非常非常享受 -是啊，当然啦
-Course you do. -Hmm?
