上班一条虫（1999）

– Whoa. – There she is.
就是她.
STAN: Whoa!
– Whoa. – There she is.
STAN: Whoa!
– Whoa. – There she is.
SAMIR: Peter, 你知道， 我们总是说她
Peter, you know, you always talk about this girl.
如果你看上了她， 为什么不叫她出去？
If you’re so obsessed with her, why don’t you just ask her out?
Oh,我不能那么做
No, I can’t do that. I’m just another asshole customer.
我只是个他妈的顾客
You can’t just walk up to a waitress and ask her out.
你不能走到女招待旁边叫她出去.
我只是个他妈的顾客
You can’t just walk up to a waitress and ask her out.
你不能走到女招待旁边叫她出去.
另外，我一直想尝试叫 Anne和我出去.
Besides, I’m still trying to work it out with Anne.
你不能走到女招待旁边叫她出去.
另外，我一直想尝试叫 Anne和我出去.
Besides, I’m still trying to work it out with Anne.
Oh, 你提醒我了， 我不能在星期五打扑克了
Uh, that reminds me. I’m not going to be able to play poker with you guys on Friday.
为什么?
– Why not? – I’m gonna see this, uh…
我要和Anne去看个职业催眠师.
occupational hypnotherapist with Anne.
小子, 职业催眠师？
– Dude, an occupational hypnotherapist? – Yeah, I know.
PETER: 我知道. Anne想让我去.
Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help. I’m…
她想会有帮助
PETER: 我知道. Anne想让我去.
Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help. I’m…
PETER: 我知道. Anne想让我去.
Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help. I’m…
Um…
You know, sometimes I think I…
你知道，有时候我认为…
Um…
You know, sometimes I think I…
你知道，有时候我认为…
我认为有时候她骗我
I get thinking that she’s cheating on me.
你知道，有时候我认为…
我认为有时候她骗我
I get thinking that she’s cheating on me.
是的，我知道你的意思
– Yeah, I know what you mean. – Yeah.
哦.
是的，我知道你的意思
– Yeah, I know what you mean. – Yeah.
哦.
那会如何？
What is that supposed to mean?
不会怎么
Nothing.
为什么你知是告诉她你不想去找催眠师？.
Look. Just tell Anne that you’re not into hypnosis and you wanna play poker.
是想和我们玩扑克 ？
No, I can’t do that. She’ll get all pissed off.
我不能那样做 她会发怒的
是想和我们玩扑克 ？
No, I can’t do that. She’ll get all pissed off.
是想和我们玩扑克 ？
No, I can’t do that. She’ll get all pissed off.
另外，我想那个人会有帮助的
And, besides, I think that the guy might actually be able to help.
他真的帮 Anne减肥了.
I mean, he did help Anne lose weight.
Peter, 她是没食欲.
Peter, she’s anorexic.
是，我知道
Yeah, I know. The guy’s really good.
那个人很好
Yeah, well, I don’t think any occupational hypnotherapist…
是的，但是我不认为职业催眠师…
is gonna help you solve any of your problems.
会帮你解决所有问题.
Okay? Hey, and speaking of problems…
说一些问题–
what’s this I hear about you having problems with your T.P.S. reports?
这是我听说你有问题么？
说一些问题–
what’s this I hear about you having problems with your T.P.S. reports?
说一些问题–
what’s this I hear about you having problems with your T.P.S. reports?
关于你的 T.P.S. 报告?
Yeah. Didn’t you get that memo?
SAMIR: 是的，你得到那个备忘录了么？
关于你的 T.P.S. 报告?
Yeah. Didn’t you get that memo?
SAMIR: 是的，你得到那个备忘录了么？
– Hey! Hey, guys! Peter! – Is that Smykowski?
TOM: Hey! Hey, 伙计们! Peter!
– Hey! Hey, guys! Peter! – Is that Smykowski?
– Hey! Hey, guys! Peter! – Is that Smykowski?
SAMIR: 是 Smykowski么?
– Samir! – What’s he doing?
-Samir! -他在干什么?
Oh, probably working on another heart attack.
MICHAEL: Oh,大概又在泡妞
I’ve been looking all over for you guys. Have you seen this?
TOM:我到处找你们!
MICHAEL: Oh,大概又在泡妞
I’ve been looking all over for you guys. Have you seen this?
MICHAEL: Oh,大概又在泡妞
I’ve been looking all over for you guys. Have you seen this?
你看过这个么？ 我知道我知道.
– I knew it. I knew it. – What? It’s a staff meeting. So what?
PETER:什么? 员工会议，怎么了？
So what? We’re all screwed, that’s what. They’re gonna downsize Initech.
TOM: 怎么了? 我们被缩减了.
PETER:什么? 员工会议，怎么了？
So what? We’re all screwed, that’s what. They’re gonna downsize Initech.
PETER:什么? 员工会议，怎么了？
So what? We’re all screwed, that’s what. They’re gonna downsize Initech.
他们要裁员
What are you talking about, Tom? How do you know that?
SAMIR: 你在说什么？
他们要裁员
What are you talking about, Tom? How do you know that?
SAMIR: 你在说什么？
我是如何知道的？他们找来个顾问
How do I know? They’re bringing in a consultant, that’s how I know.
SAMIR: 你在说什么？
我是如何知道的？他们找来个顾问
How do I know? They’re bringing in a consultant, that’s how I know.
这就是我如何知道的了
That’s what this staff meeting is all about.
这就是员工会议的内容
It happened at Initrode last year.
去年就有这个苗头了
这就是员工会议的内容
It happened at Initrode last year.
去年就有这个苗头了
你们会被顾问召见
You have to interview with this consultant. They call them “efficiency experts”.
去年就有这个苗头了
你们会被顾问召见
You have to interview with this consultant. They call them “efficiency experts”.
他们叫他效率专家
But what you’re really doing is interviewing for your own job.
但是我们真正要做得
他们叫他效率专家
But what you’re really doing is interviewing for your own job.
他们叫他效率专家
But what you’re really doing is interviewing for your own job.
是如何面对我们的工作
Every week you say you’re going to lose your job, and you’re still here.
MICHAEL:每周你都说要被解雇 …
是如何面对我们的工作
Every week you say you’re going to lose your job, and you’re still here.
是如何面对我们的工作
Every week you say you’re going to lose your job, and you’re still here.
你不是还在这
Not this time. I bet I’m the first one laid off.
这次不行了
你不是还在这
Not this time. I bet I’m the first one laid off.
这次不行了
去国家失业办公室的想法
The thought of having to go to the state unemployment office, to stand in line with scumbags!
这次不行了
去国家失业办公室的想法
The thought of having to go to the state unemployment office, to stand in line with scumbags!
在那些卑鄙的人的面前 ..
去国家失业办公室的想法
The thought of having to go to the state unemployment office, to stand in line with scumbags!
在那些卑鄙的人的面前 ..
SAMIR:妈的
Shit.
在那些卑鄙的人的面前 ..
SAMIR:妈的
Shit.
TOM: 你知道有些人
You know, there are people in this world that don’t have to put up with all this shit.
不得不去对付
TOM: 你知道有些人
You know, there are people in this world that don’t have to put up with all this shit.
不得不去对付
像那个发明电子宠物的
Like that guy that invented the Pet Rock?
不得不去对付
像那个发明电子宠物的
Like that guy that invented the Pet Rock?
你看这就是你要做得
You see, that’s what you have to do.
你不得不去想
You have to use your mind…
想出好的办法
and come up with some really great idea like that.
你能搞到很多钱 不用去工作了
And you can make millions. Never have to work again.
MICHAEL: 你认为电子宠物是个好主意？
You think the Pet Rock was a really great idea?
当然
Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars.
那个人赚了好多钱
当然
Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars.
那个人赚了好多钱
你知道我原来有个想法
You know, I had an idea like that once, a long time ago.
很久以前
你知道我原来有个想法
You know, I had an idea like that once, a long time ago.
你知道我原来有个想法
You know, I had an idea like that once, a long time ago.
PETER: 真的？是什么？
Really? What was it, Tom?
好吧
Well, all right.
那是 自动算卦器
It was a “jump to conclusions” mat.
你看，那会是
You see, it would be this mat…
你将把他放到地板上 .
that you would put on the floor…
你将会得到很多不同的结论 …
and it would have different conclusions written on it…
这是你能得到的
that you could jump to.
这是我听到的最没用的主意 Tom.
That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard in my life, Tom.
SAMIR:是的是的 不是很好
Yes. Yes, it’s horrible, this idea.
Uh, look, I gotta get outta here.
我在这里得到他的
I’ll see you guys later…
再见
– if I still have a job. – Yeah.
如果我还有工作
再见
– if I still have a job. – Yeah.
再见
– if I still have a job. – Yeah.
MICHAEL: Yeah.
Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you would do…
我们上高中时作过个试验
MICHAEL: Yeah.
Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you would do…
MICHAEL: Yeah.
Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you would do…
让我们说出如果有一百万美元、 我们会作什么
if you had a million dollars, didn’t have to work.
不用去工作
And, invariably, whatever you’d say, that was supposed to be your career.
无论你说什么都会联♥系♥到你将来的职业
不用去工作
And, invariably, whatever you’d say, that was supposed to be your career.
无论你说什么都会联♥系♥到你将来的职业
如果你要修车
If you wanted to fix old cars, then you’re supposed to be an auto mechanic.
无论你说什么都会联♥系♥到你将来的职业
如果你要修车
If you wanted to fix old cars, then you’re supposed to be an auto mechanic.
你会被认为将来会是一个技师