上班一条虫（1999）

They’re not gonna saw your hands off here, all right?
他们不会把你的手锯掉。
他们最多把你关在
The worst they would ever do is, they would put you, for a couple of months…
他们不会把你的手锯掉。
他们最多把你关在
The worst they would ever do is, they would put you, for a couple of months…
一个最低保卫的白领宿舍里。
into a white-collar, minimum-security resort.
我们算幸运 ? 他们允许夫妻探访。
Shit, we should be so lucky!
– Do you know they have conjugal visits there? – Really?
– 真的? – 是。
– Yes. – Shit.
迈克尔：哇，
I’m a free man, I haven’t had a conjugal visit in six months.
我是自♥由♥人，我没妻子探访六个月了。
– So, what do you think? – This thing is actually pretty fail-safe, Samir.
怎么样？
我是自♥由♥人，我没妻子探访六个月了。
– So, what do you think? – This thing is actually pretty fail-safe, Samir.
我是自♥由♥人，我没妻子探访六个月了。
– So, what do you think? – This thing is actually pretty fail-safe, Samir.
这事十分保险，森米尔。
Samir…
彼得：森米尔？
you came here looking for a land of opportunity…
你来这里寻找机会。
and this is the knock of that opportunity.
这就是大好良机。
你来这里寻找机会。
and this is the knock of that opportunity.
这就是大好良机。
明天将会是你在公♥司♥的最后一天。
Tomorrow’s your last day at Initech.
这就是大好良机。
明天将会是你在公♥司♥的最后一天。
Tomorrow’s your last day at Initech.
你有两条路：
You have two options: unemployment or early retirement.
失业还是提早退休？
What’s it gonna be?
你选什么？
– I have a question. – Yes?
-我有一个问题。 -什么？
In… In these conjugal visits, you can have sex with women?
在那夫妻探访，你可以干女人吗？
-我有一个问题。 -什么？
In… In these conjugal visits, you can have sex with women?
在那夫妻探访，你可以干女人吗？
当然可以。
Yep. You sure can.
在那夫妻探访，你可以干女人吗？
当然可以。
Yep. You sure can.
Okay, I’ll do it.
行，我♥干♥。
– That’s what I’m talking about when I talk about Amer… – Peter?
彼得：这就是我口里的美国。
行，我♥干♥。
– That’s what I’m talking about when I talk about Amer… – Peter?
彼得：这就是我口里的美国。
我们可以讨论一下计划吗？
– How about we discuss the plan? – Okay, yeah. Good. Right.
彼得：这就是我口里的美国。
我们可以讨论一下计划吗？
– How about we discuss the plan? – Okay, yeah. Good. Right.
好，对了，要。
It works like a computer virus.
这程序就像一个电脑病毒。
All we have to do is load it into the credit union mainframe, and it’ll do the rest.
我们只需把它装到信用社主机里。
这程序就像一个电脑病毒。
All we have to do is load it into the credit union mainframe, and it’ll do the rest.
我们只需把它装到信用社主机里。
它会自动完成任务。
Okay. You guys get me that disk, and I’ll take care of it from there.
我们只需把它装到信用社主机里。
它会自动完成任务。
Okay. You guys get me that disk, and I’ll take care of it from there.
彼得：把程序给我，我会搞定。
But listen, before we go any further, all right…
在我们行动前，
彼得：把程序给我，我会搞定。
But listen, before we go any further, all right…
在我们行动前，
我们要对天发誓，
we have to swear to God, Allah…
在我们行动前，
我们要对天发誓，
we have to swear to God, Allah…
除我们外没有任何人知道这事。
that nobody knows about this but us.
All right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
包括女朋友，家人等任何人。
All right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.
包括女朋友，家人等任何人。
– 当然。 – 同意。
– Of course. – Agreed.
包括女朋友，家人等任何人。
– 当然。 – 同意。
– Of course. – Agreed.
劳伦斯：不要担心，我不会告诉别人。
Don’t worry, man! I won’t tell anyone either!
– 他是谁？ – 别担心，他是好人。
– What the fuck is that? – No, don’t worry about him. He’s cool. All right.
彼得：那就按计划行事。
Here’s how I see it all going down.
斯里戴尔：恭喜，这是很好的提升。
Peter, congratulations. This is one heck of a promotion.
彼得：谢谢，戴尔。
– Thank you, Bob. – We’ll get some people under you right away.
波特：我们会马上给你安排助手。
彼得：谢谢，戴尔。
– Thank you, Bob. – We’ll get some people under you right away.
波特：我们会马上给你安排助手。
? It makes me wanna creep ?
[音乐]
? I got somethin’ for your mind your body and your soul ?
? I got somethin’ for your mind your body and your soul ?
? Yeah ?
? Damn, I’m such a “G” It’s pathetic ?
? Here comes the big-headed nigga that’s dippin’ ?
? Sippin’ on Courvoisier ?
? Goddamn I must have to floss today ?
? Now, pimpin’ ain’t easy but it’s necessary ?
? So I’m chasin’ bitches like Tom chased Jerry ?
? I put the pedal to the “flo-ah” ?
? In my two-toned Ford Explorer ?
? You know how it’s done ?
? Sounds bumpin’ Ain’t that somethin’ ?
? Jumped on the 110 ?
? She’s flyin’ in the Blazer ?
– Hey, how’s it goin’? – ? Like “Go, Speed Racer” ?
? But I ain’t gon’ chase her like Racer “X” ?
? But I won’t flex till it’s time to have sex ?
? So when you wanna get together ?
? ‘Cause you know a nigga like me ?
? Is down for whatever ?
? Damn ?
? Ye-e-e-e-a-a-a-h ?
? Ye-e-e-e-a-a-a-h ?
迈克尔：挺容易的。
– Well, that was easy. – Yeah, I guess it was.
对，容易。
What’d you do with the c…
那东西-
Hey, man.
佐尔：嗨，
Oh, hey, Drew.
彼得：哦，嗨，佐尔。
– You guys hear about Tom Smykowski? – What, that he got laid off?
你们知道汤姆森考斯基的事吗？
彼得：哦，嗨，佐尔。
– You guys hear about Tom Smykowski? – What, that he got laid off?
你们知道汤姆森考斯基的事吗？
你指他被解雇？
No, man. Check it out.
你们知道汤姆森考斯基的事吗？
你指他被解雇？
No, man. Check it out.
不是，听着。
Last week, right after he found out he was getting laid off…
上星期，当他知道自己被解雇后，
不是，听着。
Last week, right after he found out he was getting laid off…
上星期，当他知道自己被解雇后，
他想把车撞到车♥库♥上而自杀。
he goes home and tries to kill himself by running the car in the garage.
上星期，当他知道自己被解雇后，
他想把车撞到车♥库♥上而自杀。
he goes home and tries to kill himself by running the car in the garage.
彼得：他死了？
– Is he dead? – No, man. Check it out.
佐尔：没有，听着。
That wife of his comes home early from work and catches him.
他的妻子早回家，看到他了。
So he tries to play it off like nothing happened.
佐尔：他装作若无其事。
I was… having some trouble with the shifter here.
汤姆：我的车有点问题。
佐尔：他装作若无其事。
I was… having some trouble with the shifter here.
汤姆：我的车有点问题。
不能换挡。
It’s jammed, and I couldn’t get it into drive.
汤姆：我的车有点问题。
不能换挡。
It’s jammed, and I couldn’t get it into drive.
我不能换到前进挡。
– I-I-I mean, reverse. – You okay, Tom?
– 我-我指倒挡。 – 你没事吧，汤姆？
我不能换到前进挡。
– I-I-I mean, reverse. – You okay, Tom?
– 我-我指倒挡。 – 你没事吧，汤姆？
佐尔：当他看着她时，
– Then, as he’s looking at her… – Yeah.
– 我-我指倒挡。 – 你没事吧，汤姆？
佐尔：当他看着她时，
– Then, as he’s looking at her… – Yeah.
他突然想活下去。
– He decides he wants to live. – Yeah, I think I’m okay.
汤姆：没事，我没事。
– Right. – Seems to be working now.
好。
汤姆：没事，我没事。
– Right. – Seems to be working now.
汤姆：没事，我没事。
– Right. – Seems to be working now.
车没事了。
汤姆：没事，我没事。
– Right. – Seems to be working now.
车没事了。
See ya later, honey!
再见，甜心。
Love ya!
爱你。
But then, as soon as he backs out of his driveway…
佐尔：但当他开出车♥库♥时 ? 嘣！
爱你。
But then, as soon as he backs out of his driveway…
佐尔：但当他开出车♥库♥时 ? 嘣！
Bam! He gets slammed big-time by a drunk driver!
佐尔：但当他开出车♥库♥时 ? 嘣！
Bam! He gets slammed big-time by a drunk driver!
他被醉司机撞倒了。
– Is he okay? – Sort of.
– 他没事吧？ – 一点点。
He broke both his wrists, legs, couple of ribs, his back.
断了手腕，大腿，几条胸骨，背部…
– 他没事吧？ – 一点点。
He broke both his wrists, legs, couple of ribs, his back.
断了手腕，大腿，几条胸骨，背部…
但他的到了一大笔赔款。
But he’s gonna get a huge settlement out of this, like, seven figures.
断了手腕，大腿，几条胸骨，背部…
但他的到了一大笔赔款。
But he’s gonna get a huge settlement out of this, like, seven figures.
七位数字。
He’s getting out of the hospital tomorrow.
他明天出院，
He’s gonna throw a party this weekend to celebrate. We’re all invited.
这周末他搞一个大派对来庆祝。
他明天出院，
He’s gonna throw a party this weekend to celebrate. We’re all invited.
他明天出院，
He’s gonna throw a party this weekend to celebrate. We’re all invited.
我们都被邀请了。
I’m thinkin’ I might take that new chick from Logistics.
我正考虑带新来得后勤女工去。
我们都被邀请了。
I’m thinkin’ I might take that new chick from Logistics.
我正考虑带新来得后勤女工去。
顺利的话，我可能给他看看我的“噢”相。
Things go well, I might be showin, her my “O” face.
我正考虑带新来得后勤女工去。
顺利的话，我可能给他看看我的“噢”相。
Things go well, I might be showin, her my “O” face.
噢，噢，噢。
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” You know what I’m talkin’ about.