女性瘾者：第一部（2013）

女性瘾者
上
喂
Hello?
你出事了
You’ve had an accident.
你需要救护车 我打电♥话♥叫车
You need an ambulance. I’ll call for one.
我马上就回来
I’ll be right back.
躺在这里别动
Lie still here.
不要
No.
不要
No.
不要什么
No what?
我不需要救护车
I don’t need an ambulance.
你显然需要
I can clearly see you do.
我打电♥话♥叫车
I’ll call for one.
要是那样 你回来之前
In that case, I’ll be up and gone
我就爬起来跑掉了
before you have the time to come back.
那样会很痛
That will hurt.
可能会痛 不过我不介意
That’s possible, but it doesn’t matter to me.
我猜你应该也不想我打电♥话♥报♥警♥吧
I assume you don’t want me to call the police either.
你说的没错
Yes, that’s exactly right.
那你需要什么东西吗
Is there anything you want?
我想要一杯加奶的茶
I’d like a cup of tea with some milk.
好吧
Well…
那你得跟我来
You have to come with me.
我不习惯请人当街喝茶
I don’t serve tea in the street.
你能走吗
Can you walk?
可以
Yeah.
我甚至还买♥♥了个蛋糕
I’ve even bought a cake.
我帮你把衣服洗了吧
I’ll wash your clothes.
-别洗我的大衣 -可味道太难闻了
– Not my coat. – It smells rather badly.
那是我的大衣
It’s my coat.
是你的大衣
It’s your coat.
你发生什么事了
So what happened?
被人抢劫了吗
Were you robbed?
是我自作自受
It’s my own fault.
我是个坏人
I’m just a bad human being.
我从来没遇到过坏人
I’ve never met a bad human being.
现在你遇到了
Well, you have now.
你想聊聊吗
Do you want to talk about it?
你肯定无法理解
You wouldn’t understand.
试试看嘛
Well, try me.
我都不知道从哪儿开始讲
But I wouldn’t know where to start.
那边怎么挂着个诡异的鱼钩
Why is that ridiculous fishhook hanging there?
那是个飞蝇钓钩
It’s a fly.
我用它抓住过一条鱼
I caught a fish with it once,
很大一条鱼
a rather big one,
大得出奇
strangely enough.
飞蝇钓是指
Fly-fishing is about
将羽毛等东西绑到钓钩上
tying feathers and other things to a hook
伪装成鱼类喜欢食物的钓鱼方式
so it resembles something the fish likes to eat.
因为飞蝇钓钩很轻
And then because the fly is very light,
你必须有一条足够重的线
you have to have a line that is heavy.
这样才能甩得远
It creates the velocity when you cast.
你经常钓鱼吗
You fish a lot?
有时吧
Well, some…
但我钓到的不多
But I don’t catch much.
我年轻的时候
When I was young, I–
曾经有一本很喜欢的书
I had a book I– I worshipped.
是艾萨克·沃顿写的一本旧书
It was an old book by Izaak Walton
叫做”高明的垂钓者”
called “The Complete Angler.”
对我来说就像一本浪漫的大自然圣经
It was like a romantic nature Bible to me.
我大概知道怎么开始讲了
Maybe I know where to start.
可是如果你想真正理解我的处境
But if you’re to understand, I’ll–
那我得把前因后果都讲出来
I’ll have to tell you the whole story,
那就会很长
and it’ll be long.
长一点没问题
Long… is good.
恐怕还很有教育意义
And moral, I’m afraid.
第一章
高明的垂钓者
一切是这么开始的
To begin with the bait,
我两岁时就开始玩弄自己的阴♥部♥
I discovered my cunt as a two-year-old.
很小的时候
At an early age,
我就开始享受性快♥感♥
I was mechanically inclined.
比如过剩的精力
Kinetic energy, for example,
让我沉迷其中不可自拔
has always fascinated me.
我有个朋友 就叫她B吧
And my friend– let’s call her B–
总是能想出各种点子
always came up with the ideas.
她的拿手好戏之一就是学青蛙
Playing frogs was one of B’s classics.
乔 你没事吧
Joe, are you all right?
马上就好
Just a moment!
你好了没有
Are you done?
算啦 让她们自己玩去
For Christ’s sakes, leave them alone.
我很爱我的父亲
I loved my father very much.
他是个医生
He was a doctor.
我母亲名叫凯瑟琳
My mother’s name was Katherine.
我父亲会叫她凯
My father called her kay.
我觉得她就是那种所谓的冷血婊♥子♥
I suppose she was what you’d call a cold bitch.
她一玩起纸牌游戏就什么都不管了
She always had her back turned when she played solitaire.
我讨厌纸牌游戏
I hated solitaire.
我们上体育课的时候
When we had P.E.,
我会沿着绳子爬上去长时间挂着
I’d climb up into the ropes and hang there for ages
把绳子夹在两腿之间
with the rope between my legs.
我们把这种行为称为”感受”
“The sensation” we called it.
对我来说是个非常特殊的词 “感受”
I remember very distinctly this word, “Sensation.”
也许我跟其他人唯一的不同
Perhaps the only difference between me and other people
在于我更喜欢夕阳
was that I’ve always demanded more from the sunset.
太阳撞上地平线的瞬间色彩最为壮丽
More spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon.
这也许是我唯一的罪
That’s perhaps my only sin.
你为什么坚持认为小孩子有罪呢
Why are you insisting that children are sinful?
不是小孩子 是我
Not children. Me.
我看不到罪的存在
I don’t see sin anywhere,
不过也可能因为我不信教
but then I’m not religious.
那是因为你还没有听完剩下的故事
That’s because you don’t know the rest of the story.
顺便说一句 我也不信教
And by the way, I’m not religious either.
你怎么会用上宗教里最无情的那些概念
Why would you take the most unsympathetic aspect
比如罪恶
of religion such as the concept of sin…
还认为它能独♥立♥存在于宗教之外
And let it survive beyond religion?
我不理解这种自我憎恶的感情
I don’t understand this self-hatred.
这就是为什么我说
That’s what I said–
-你无法理解的 -不 我
– you wouldn’t understand. – No, I’m–
对不起 我不插嘴了
I’m sorry, I’ll shut up.
请继续说
Please continue.
阴♥部♥神经
Nervus pudendus.
阴蒂背神经
Nervus dorsalis clitoridis.
我父亲喜欢跟我讲关于树和叶子的事
My dad loved telling me about the trees and their leaves
觉得这是良好教育的一部分
and considered it part of a good education.
当白蜡木被创造出来的时候
When the ash tree was created,
森林里其他的树都感到嫉妒
it made all the other trees in the forest jealous.
这是最美丽的树
It was the most beautiful tree.
你没办法说它有任何不好
You couldn’t say anything bad about it.
而到了冬天
Then in the winter…
白蜡木的叶子掉光了
when the ash tree lost all of its leaves…
其他树看到了他黑芽开始嘲笑它
all the trees noticed its black buds and started laughing.
瞧瞧
“Oh, look…
白蜡木把手指伸进灰里了
the ash tree’s had its fingers in the ashes.”
看到没有
See?
冬天你总是能通过黑芽认出白蜡木
You can always tell the ash tree in winter by the black buds.
他特别喜欢自己讲的那些
He especially loved the childish educational stories he told
用来帮我巩固知识的幼稚小故事
to help me remember what I had learned.
我知道他有多喜欢讲那些故事
I knew how much he loved telling those stories,
所以有时我会假装忘记了好让他再讲一遍
so sometimes I pretended I had forgotten them.
你会不会觉得无聊
Am I boring you?
不会啊 我只是很期待
No, I’m just looking forward