妮诺契卡（1939）

那是我们真正拥有的一刻
The only moment we ever really have.
不要那么严肃 那是不值得的 真的
Oh, Ninotchka. Don’t take things so seriously. Nothing’s worth it, really.
请放轻松
Please, relax.
我求求你 士官
I beg you, sergeant.
笑一个
Smile.
什么？
What?
– 你会笑吗？ – 干嘛？
– Will you smile? – Why?
– 笑一个就是了 – 笑什么？
– Well, just smile. – At what?
什么都好
At anything.
笑生活多采多姿而荒谬 笑一般人太严肃…
At the whole ridiculous spectacle of life, at people being so serious…
笑人们高傲自大 夸耀自己的重要性
…taking themselves pompously, exaggerating their own importance.
如果想不出有什么好笑 就笑我们好了
If you can’t think of anything else to laugh at, laugh at you and me.
– 为什么？ – 因为我们是对怪情人
– Why? – Because we’re an odd couple.
那么你应该回自己座位去
Then you should go back to your table.
不 我不能丢下你 时候未到
No. No, I can’t leave you. I won’t, not yet.
至少要先逗你笑一次
Not until I’ve made you laugh at least once.
请回座
Ha-ha. Now go back to your table.
这不是笑
That’s not a laugh.
我是说真心的一笑
I mean a laugh from the heart.
我知道 我来说一个笑话
I know. I’m gonna tell you a funny story.
等等 我想一下
Now, wait a minute, let me think of one.
有了
Uh, I’ve got it.
有两个法国人到美国去…
It seems that there were two Frenchmen who went to America…
– 坐什么船？ – 这个…
– On which boat? – On wh…
算了
Let’s drop it.
反正这个你不会喜欢
I don’t think you’d care very much for that one anyway.
可能不会
Probably not.
这个很棒
Here’s a great one.
可能不是那么棒 算了
Maybe it’s not so good. Let’s forget it.
– 你喜欢苏格兰故事吗？ – 没听过
– Do you like Scotch stories? – Never heard one.
注意听
Well, here. Ahem.
两个苏格兰人在街上碰面
Two Scotchmen met on the street.
我不知道街名是什么
And I don’t know the name of the street.
那无关紧要
It doesn’t matter anyway.
一个叫麦吉利卡迪 另一个叫麦金塔
One’s name was McGillicuddy and the other one’s name was Mclntosh.
麦吉利卡迪跟麦金塔说“你好 麦金塔先生”
McGillicuddy said to Mclntosh, “Hello, Mr. McGillicuddy. ”
麦吉利卡迪…麦金塔跟麦吉利卡迪说…
And McGillicuddy…Mclntosh said to McGillicuddy:
“你好 麦吉利卡迪先生”
“Hello, Mr. Mclntosh…Mr. McGillicuddy. ”
然后麦吉利卡迪跟麦金塔说“麦金塔太太好吗？”
Then McGillicuddy said to Mclntosh, “How is Mrs. Mclntosh?”
麦金塔跟麦吉利卡迪说“麦吉利卡迪太太好吗？”
And Mclntosh said to McGillicuddy, “How is Mrs. McGillicuddy?”
我希望他们根本不要见面
I wish they’d never met.
我也是
So do I.
再来这个怎么样？
How is this one?
两个人抬头看月亮 其中一人跟另一人说…
Two men are looking at the moon. One of them says to the other:
“听说很多人住在月亮上 是真的吗？”
“Is it true that a lot of people live on the moon?”
另外那个人说“是真的 大约有五亿人”
The other one says, “Sure it’s true, about 500 million. ”
第一个人说…
Then the first one says:
“所以半月时 月亮上面一定很挤”
“Whew. They must be pretty crowded when it’s half-moon. ”
– 你不觉得好笑？ – 不
– So you don’t think that’s funny? – No.
第一次听到时 我觉得很好笑
It seemed funny to me when I first heard it.
或许问题不是出在笑话 可能是你有问题
Maybe the trouble isn’t with the joke. Maybe it’s with you.
我不同意
I don’t think so.
再给你一次机会
I’ll give you one more chance.
我说啰
Here goes.
第一次听到时我快笑死了
When I first heard this joke, I laughed myself sick.
开始啰
Here goes.
一个人进到一家餐厅
A man comes into a restaurant.
坐下后他说“侍者…”
He sits down at the table and he says, “Waiter…
“给我一杯咖啡不加奶精”
…bring me a cup of coffee without cream. ”
五分钟后 侍者过来说…
Five minutes later, the waiter comes and says: “I’m sorry, sir.
“先生 抱歉 奶精没了 能不能改成不加牛奶？”
“We have no cream. Can it be without milk?”
很好笑 不是吗？
It’s good, isn’t it?
– 不好笑？ – 不
– Not funny, huh? – No.
很好笑啊 大家都觉得很好笑
Well, it is funny. Everybody else thought it was funny.
可能是你没听懂
Maybe you didn’t get the point.
我再说一次
I’ll tell it to you again.
一个人进到一家餐厅
A man comes into a restaurant.
– 懂吗？ – 懂
– Did you get that? – Yes.
好
All right.
坐下之后他跟侍者说…
He sits down at the table and he says to the waiter
听懂了吧？
Did you get that?
– 懂 – 目前还不好笑 再等一下
– Yes. – All right. It isn’t funny so far, but wait a minute.
他跟侍者说“侍者 给我一杯咖啡”
He says to the waiter, “Waiter, bring me a cup of coffee. ”
五分钟后 侍者回来对他说…
Five minutes later, the waiter comes and says:
“对不起 先生 我们没咖啡了”
“I’m sorry, sir, we’re all out of coffee. ”
不 都被你搞混了
Oh, no, you’ve got me all mixed up now.
他坐下后说“给我一杯咖啡”就这样
Sits down at the table, says, “Bring me a cup of coffee. ” That’s it.
他说“给我一杯咖啡不加奶精”
He says, “Waiter, bring me a cup of coffee without cream. ”
五分钟后侍者回来对他说…
Five minutes later, the waiter comes back and says:
“先生 抱歉 没有奶精了 可不可改点牛奶？”
“I’m sorry, sir. We have no cream. Can it be a glass of milk?”
你一点幽默感都没有
Oh, you have no sense of humor!
完全没有
None whatsoever.
一丝丝幽默感都没有 你根本不会笑
Not a grain of humor in you. There’s not a laugh in you.
大家都笑了 只有你不笑
Everybody else laughs at it, but not you.
这有什么好笑的？
What’s so funny about this?
除了上面所列举之 取消禁止令争议外…
In addition to the arguments above enumerated for lifting this injunction…
我方并引用巴黎高等法♥院♥ 于一九八七年八月五日…
…we wish to cite the decision of the High Court of Paris in the case…
玛丽希卡公主控告芒特尼格罗共和国政♥府♥一案所做出的判例
…of Princess Marishka against Montenegro on the fifth day of August, 1♥8♥9♥7.
比较该案与本案的事实…
Comparing the facts in that case with our present set of facts…
我们认为法国与苏联所签订的条约…
…we feel that the treaty between the Republic of France and the USSR…
抱歉 各位先生
I’m sorry, gentlemen.
前几天听到一个笑话
The other day I heard such a funny story
现在还觉得很好笑
it still makes me laugh.
真的很好笑
It’s very funny.
关于这项禁止令
Yes, about this injunction.
公听会订于本月二十日
The hearing is set for the 20th of this month.
从星期四起还有两个星期
That’s two weeks from Thursday.
– 我们已尽力安排提前 – 我知道 各位
– We did our utmost to have it set ahead. – I know, gentlemen.
决定权在法♥院♥ 我们一点办法都没有 不是吗？
It’s in the hands of the court. We’re helpless, aren’t we?
很不幸 是的
Yes, it is unfortunate.
既然没有别的办法 激动有什么用呢？
There’s nothing we can do. Why get excited?
文件留给你们 你们可以做进一步考量
We’ll leave these papers with you for your further consideration.
– 再见 女士 – 再见
– Au revoir, Madam – Au revoir
这么说来 还得在巴黎待上两星期
Well, that means another two weeks in Paris.
浪费时间也莫可奈何
Too bad we have to waste all that time.
我根据你的建议 已经联络上电力与照明主管单位
I acted on your suggestion and got in touch with the power and light authorities.
如果你要参观发电厂 他们随时都欢迎
Whenever you want to visit their plants, they are open to you.
好的 电力与照明 谢谢你
Oh, yes, power and light. Thank you.
还有一件事 或许你有兴趣
There is something else which I know will appeal to you.
参观巴黎下水道
A visit to the Paris sewers.
– 他们说非常有启发性 – 哦？
– They tell me it’s extremely instructive. – Oh?
你应该理个头发 布叶诺夫
Why don’t you get a haircut, Buljanoff?
你们看起来冷飕飕的 同志们
You all look so wintry, comrades.
窗户为什么老是关着？
And why do we always keep the windows closed?
令人惊讶吧？
Isn’t that amazing?
家乡依然冰天雪地 这里 你们看那些小鸟
At home, there is still snow and ice, and here, look at the birds.
当我们的燕子在冬天抛下我们飞向资本主义国家…
I always felt a little hurt when our swallows deserted us…
我经常感到很难过
…in the winter for capitalistic countries.
现在知道原因了 我们有崇高的理想…
Now I know why. We have the high ideal…
但他们有温和的气候
…but they have the climate.
同志们 现在没事了
Comrades, I don’t think I need you anymore.
– 要我们为你做什么吗？ – 不用
– Is there anything we can do for you? – No, not a thing.
你们想出去吗？
Would you like to go out?
– 当然想 – 你们有钱吗？
– Yes, sure. – Have you any money?
– 拿五十法郎去 – 谢谢
– Here are 50 francs. – Thank you.
找四十五回来
Bring me back 45.
没问题
Yes, of course.
– 好的 – 再见 同志
– Yes, that’s fine. – Goodbye, comrade.
嘉斯顿 几点了？
Have you the time, Gaston?
八点四十二
It’s 8:42, sir.