我的第一先生（2001）

I’m afraid that I’m not sure of
Ben, 3 is the number. You have 60 seconds to do it.
本,给你60秒钟做
Let’s begin. In the comic strip peanuts, what breed is snoopy?
开始.在连环画里 什么狗种爱管闲事
Airedale.
硬毛杂种狗.
Beagle. Yes.
小猎犬 是的.
The flag of what North African Arab nation is solid green?
北非那个阿♥拉♥伯国家 的国旗是深绿色
Libya. Yes.
利比亚.美国商人佛芮德
Damn, this guy knows everything.
他妈的.这家伙无所不通
You scared me!
你吓死我了
Look at you
看看你
in this beautiful green top.
上身穿深绿
Well, you match the jell o.
和詹很般配.对
There’s something I have to talk to you about, mom.
我想跟你说一件事 妈妈.要一点吗
Want some, sweetie? No, I don’t. Mom, mom!
不.我不要.妈妈
There’s something I have to talk to you about, okay?
我想跟你说一件事.好吗
Is that all right? Yeah, sure.
当然.没问题吧 当然.
Honey, I think I know what this is about.
我知道是关于
Honey, you’re not used to wearing dresses
你不喜欢穿暴露自己
that reveal your figure.
身材的衣服
You have such a beautiful figure.
而你的身材又如此棒
All you need is a good bra.
但你需要的是一件性感的胸罩
It has nothing to do with that.
不.根本于此无关.是的
Did you know there are women in the stores who fit bras?
你知道商店有试胸罩的女人吗
Mom! It’s just support.
妈妈 那是用来支撑的
I’m going to move into my own apartment, okay?
妈妈.我要搬去自己的公♥寓♥住 好吗
Really?
是吗
That’s so nice.
太好了
Hey, dad.
爸爸.
What are you doing?
你在做什么
The Santa Ana winds came in last night and trashed my fries.
詹.“圣安娜”风昨晚袭击把我的油炸锅全部弄砸了
How you doin’, girl? It’s been a while.
女孩们.女孩 很久没见
“A while.”
“很久没见.”
That’s a great song.
这首歌♥真好听
Yeah. Very groovy.
是的,很糟糕
I didn’t know you liked that kind of music.
不知道你对这样的音乐也有兴趣
Is there anything you know about me?
你了解我什么吗 当然
I know you’re workin’ in a clothing store.
我知道你在一家服装商店工作
I know you don’t have quite so many holes in your head.
我知道你头部没有那么多洞
I know you’re getting your own apartment.
我知道你要租自己的公园
I know you’re not talking to your mother.
我知道你不会跟你母亲说
I know you hate me, and I know I don’t blame you for it.
我知道你恨我.我也不怪你
Impressive. The human has brain cells.
人还是有脑细胞的
did you just
你来只是
come by here to make me more miserable or what?
让我更难过还是什么
Oh, poor baby.
可怜的家伙
You’re my daughter and I love you, but cut the crap.
你是我女儿.我爱你 别废话
I’m still your father, and I deserve an iota of respect.
我还是你老爸 该得到你的尊敬
Why should I respect you?
凭什么要尊敬你
Fuck it.
算了吧
So how did it go with your parents?
和你父母关系进展怎样
Fabulous.
很好.
Sounds like it.
看样子也是
Is that a sack lunch?
袋装午餐吗
It’s for you.
给你的.
I don’t want to have a sack lunch with my lunch.
我不想吃袋装午餐
It’s a present for you.
是给你的礼物
Wow. Thank you. Gonna put it on?
谢谢.穿上
Here?
这儿
I see somebody you know!
我看见你的熟人
All right. Hold this.
好的.拿住
I’ll guard you.
我保护你
Can you hold that? I’ve got that.
拿住这个.拿到了
Oh, bitchin’! How does it look? Good?
太棒了 怎样 好看吗
It kicks ass. Thank you.
帅呆了.谢谢夸奖
So what do you want to do now?
现在想做什么
Come on. Yes!
不.快点
Just a small one. We’ll put it someplace nobody will notice.
小一点的.纹在没人看得到的地方
Listen to me very carefully. I am not getting a fucking tattoo.
听我说.我不纹身
Ooh, you said the really bad word.
你说了粗话.
Yeah, I did.
是的
I am, in fact, the boy who cried “fuck.”
我实际上是.身体就带有“粗话”的男人
I want the smallest tattoo that you can make.
我要最小的纹身
A dot or a period or something like that.
一点或一个句号♥.或什么的
Does it come in a flesh tone?
是肉体颜色吗
Very, very, very small.
非常小 .
Oh, Jesus.
天啊
Oh, god.
老天
It’s a scorpion.
是一条子
That’s it.
行了
All right. I’m getting out of here right now.
行了.我要走了.
Why?
为何
What’s going on? Nothing.
发生什么事 没什么.
This is insane. What’s your problem?
这简直是疯了 你有什么问题
I just can’t do this. What?
我不能这样做
This! Why?
为何 这个
I can’t. Can’t what? Loosen up?
我不能 不能什么 不能放松
Not with you.
和你一起不能
I’m sorry I made you have a good time.
抱歉我给你带来好时光
You obviously can’t handle it.
显然你不能应付
Why can’t you even tell me what your problem is?
为何不告诉我你有什么问题
I don’t care. I give up. I don’t even like you anymore.
不.我不在乎 我放弃.我不再喜欢你.
You’re pathetic.
你真可怜
You know, the front door is open.
前门是开着的
Where do you think you live, knots landing?
你以为你住在哪.楼梯平台
We can’t be friends. I’m sorry.
我们不可能成为朋友.对不起
What do you mean, “we can’t be friends”?
什么意思, “我们不可能成为朋友”
You just want to shut the entire world out?
你想关闭整个世界
Guess what. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.
猜 我就在这 我不离开.哪儿也不去
You have to leave. I don’t have in me what you need.
你一定要走 我这里没你需要的
How do you know what I need?
你怎么知道我要什么
You don’t even know me. You don’t know anybody.
你甚至不了解我 你不了解任何人.你怎么了
What’s wrong with you? I’m old!
我老了.我是 乔治.布诺斯
I’m George Burns. Who’s George Burns?
谁是乔治.布诺斯
I’m uncle fester, I’m Andy of Mayberry
我是福斯特大叔
Mr. Roper, Grandpa Munster.
我是安迪,鲁普先生, 曼斯特爷爷
I get it. Good! Then leave.
好.我明白了.好的 很好你走吧
What are you so afraid of, huh?
你怕什么
I’m afraid of everything.
我什么都怕
What’s “everything”? I don’t know. Everything!
什么是“什么” 我不知道.一切
I can’t fly.
我不能飞
I can’t be in a boat or a train, any transportation.
不能乘火车或船 不能乘任何交通工具
I can’t do that. I don’t like being in a car.
我不能这样做 我不喜欢坐小车
I don’t take elevators.
也不喜欢坐电梯
Crowded places drive me crazy
拥挤的地方令我简直想发疯
but uncrowded places make me crazy.
但不拥挤的地方也同样令我想发疯
I’m afraid of prescription drugs.
我怕厨房♥药品
They won’t do it in front of you. They’re going in the back.
他们不会当你面做的
There’s something wrong with it. They’re doing something.
他们会去后面.出问题了 他们在做事
I’m afraid of falling asleep.
我怕入睡
I don’t even understand the expression.
我甚至不明白措辞
Why are you falling? Where are you falling?
为何要落下 落去哪
It’s just so I don’t know.
我不知道
I always wished I had a button on my neck
真希望脖子上有一个按钮
where I could push it and be asleep like a machine
我可以按一下就能像机器一样入睡
but I can’t
但我不能
so I just lay there, and I hate it.
我躺在那.我讨厌它
I hate it.
我讨厌它
What did I leave out?
我漏了什么
Oh, yeah, yeah.
对了.对了
I’m not that crazy about waking up.
我不那么喜欢醒来
You know, there’s a lot of people that have a fear of clowns.