与安德烈晚餐（1981）

从芝加哥郊区的老家
just by journeying from her origins in the suburbs of Chicago…
到纽约晚会所跨越的距离
to that New York evening…
比她的祖母当年
than her grandmother had traveled in, uh, making her way…
从俄♥罗♥斯♥草原搬到芝加哥郊区的距离还要长
from the steppes of Russia to the suburbs of Chicago.
我完全同意 – [沃利咯咯笑]
I think that’s right. – [Wally Chuckles]
也许-也许 沃利 有这样一个原因
You know, it may– it may be, Wally, that one of the reasons…
让我们看不清事实
that we don’t know what’s going on…
那就是 当我们在派对中时 都过于忙着表演了
is that when we’re there at a party, we’re all too busy performing.
嗯哼
Uh-huh.
这也是为什么 葛罗托夫斯基离开剧院的原因
That was one of the reasons that, uh, Grotowski gave up the theater.
他觉得现在的人 在生活中就已经表演的够好了
He just felt that people in their lives now were performing so well…
剧院里的表演成了多余
that performance in the theater was sort of superfluous…
而且 可以说令人厌恶的
and, in a way, obscene.
喝
Huh.
你难道不觉得很神奇么 一个医生总是
Isn’t it amazing how often a doctor…
不负众望 而彻底一副医生模样？
will live up to our expectation of how a doctor should look?
你在电视里看到一个恐♥怖♥分♥子♥ 他长的就像个恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
When you see a terrorist on television, he looks just like a terrorist.
你看 我们活在这样的一个世界 父亲们
I mean, we live in a world in which fathers…
单身汉们 艺术家们
or single people, or artists…
全都尽其所能 去满足他人的某些幻想
are all trying to live up to someone’s fantasy…
关于一个父亲 一个单身汉 或者一个艺术家是什么形象
of how a father, or a single person, or an artist should look and behave.
他们似乎都特别清楚 要怎样表演
They all act as if they know exactly how they ought to conduct themselves…
片刻也不松懈
at every single moment…
他们看上去是那么自信
and they all seem totally self-confident.
当然 私底下 人们对于自我也是很混乱的
Of course, privately people are very mixed up about themselves.
没错
Yeah.
他们不知道该怎样看待 自己的生活
They don’t know what they should be doing with their lives.
他们会看那些《心灵鸡汤》 – 哦 一点不假！
They’re reading all these self-help books. – Oh, God!
你看 那些书真是太打动人了 因为它们显示出
I mean, those books are just so touching, because they show…
我们是多么渴望了解 多么好奇别人
how desperately curious we all are to know how all the others of us…
在生活里到底发生了什么
are really getting on in life…
即便如此 由于总是在扮演 这些角色
even though, by performing these roles all the time…
我们还是把真实的自己 藏了起来 秘不示人
we’re just hiding the reality of ourselves from everybody else.
我们就等于活在 对彼此荒谬的无知中
I mean, we live in such ludicrous ignorance of each other.
我们对自己想要了解的 总是如此无知
We usually don’t know the things we’d like to know…
即便事关最要好的朋友 也不例外
even about our supposedly closest friends.
我是说-我是说
I mean — I mean, you know…
假设你的生活 正充满痛苦和不幸
suppose you’re going through some kind of hell in your own life.
你会特别想知道 自己的朋友是否经历过类似的事
Well, you would love to know if your friends have experienced similar things.
可我们就是不敢开口问
But we just don’t dare to ask each other.
是的 这就好像 让你的朋友脱下伪装
No. It would be like asking your friend to drop his role.
你看 我们就是毫不注重 感知真实
I mean, we just put no value at all on perceiving reality.
相反的 我们全部的重心都在
I mean, on the contrary, this incredible emphasis that we all place now…
我们所谓的事业上
on our so-called careers…
不自觉地 就把感知真实 扔到脑后
automatically makes perceiving reality a very low priority…
因为 如果你的生活全都围绕着 追求事业有成而展开的话
because if your life is organized around trying to be successful in a career…
那么 感知什么 或经历什么 也就无关紧要了
well, it just doesn’t matter what you perceive or what you experience.
你真的可以 往后几年都关上你的心灵 就相当于
You can really sort of shut your mind off for years ahead, in a way.
你能打开某种自动导航
You can sort of turn on the automatic pilot.
你瞧 你母亲的那个医生 就打开了他的自动导航
You know, just the way your mother’s doctor had on his automatic pilot…
当他走进病房♥ 他看着这条胳膊
when he went in and he looked at the arm…
却完全不能感知任何别的东西
and he totally failed to perceive anything else.
没错 我们-我们的心灵仅仅 聚焦在那些目标啊 计划啊上面
That’s right. Our– Our minds are just focused on these goals and plans…
那些才不是真实
Which in themselves are not reality.
嗯 目标和计划不是-
No. Goals and plans are not —
我想说 他们-他们只是幻想和欲望 他们属于幻灭的生活
I mean, they’re — they’re fantasy. They’re part of a dream life.
你知道这一切总是显得如此荒谬
I mean, you know, it always just does seem so ridiculous, somehow…
不知怎么 每个人活着 都必须得有个小小的追求
that everybody has to have his little — his little goal in life.
有时候它如此可笑 因为你根本就不介意追求什么
I mean, it’s so absurd, in a way, when you consider that it doesn’t matter which one it is.
对极了 正因为人们都专心于自己的追求
Right. And because people’s concentration is on their goals…
所以在生活中 他们过的每一刻 无不被习惯驱使
in their life they just live each moment by habit.
真的 就像那个挪威人 总是说着老掉牙的故事 一遍又一遍
Really, like the Norwegian telling the same stories over and over again.
嗯哼 – 生活成为了定式
Mm-hmm. – Life becomes habitual.
这就是现状
And it is today.
如今 某些传奇已经实属罕见 比如那个时候
I mean, very few things happen now like that moment…
马龙·白兰度派了一个印第安小姑娘 去领奥斯卡奖
when Marlon Brando sent the Indian woman to accept the Oscar…
然后一切都乱套了
and everything went haywire.
现在 很少有什么事会乱了
Things just very rarely go haywire now.
如果你被习惯所操纵了
And if you’re just operating by habit…
那你就不是在真正活着
Then you’re not really living.
你知道吗 在梵文里 动词“存在”的词根
I mean, you know, in Sanskrit, the root of the verb “to be”…
和“生长”或“使生长”的一样
is the same as “to grow” or “to make grow.”
嗯
Huh.
[女人的笑声]
[Woman Laughing]
你听说过洛克吗？ – 昂？
Do you know about Roc? – Hmm?
[咯咯笑] 哦 是这样
[Chuckling] Oh, well.
洛克是个杰出的人
Roc was a wonderful man.
他是芬德霍恩的创立者之一
He was one of the founders of Findhorn…
他还是苏格兰的一位-实际上 他曾是苏格兰最伟大的数学家（疑为杜撰）
and he was one of Scotland’s –well, he was Scotland’s greatest mathematician…
一百年才出一个的大数学家
and he was one of the century’s great mathematicians.
他引以为傲的一点是 没有幻想生活 没有白日梦-
And he prided himself on the fact that he had no fantasy life, no dream life —
没任何东西挡在- 没有那种想象出的自我-
nothing to stand be — no imaginary life —
没什么能挡在他 和数学的直接观念间
nothing to stand between him and the direct perception of mathematics.
然后有一天 在他五十好几时 当他正漫步在爱丁堡的花♥园♥里
And one day when he was in his mid-50s, he was walking in the gardens of Edinburgh…
他看见一只小羊怪（古罗马神话中森林精灵）
and he saw a faun.
小羊怪大吃一惊 因为它们 总是能看见人类
The faun was very surprised because fauns have always been able to see people…
但是很少有人能看见它们
but you know, very few people ever see them.
你知道吗 呃 那种小小的幻想生物
You know, uh, those little imaginary creatures.
不是鹿 – 喔
Not a deer. – Oh.
人们称之为弗恩 不是吗？ – 我以为弗恩是某种鹿仔
You call them fauns, don’t you? – I thought a fawn was a baby deer.
嗯 是有一种鹿被称作幼鹿（fawn） 但是还有某些小小的想象中的
Yeah, well, there’s a deer that’s called a fawn, but these are like those little imagi —
哦！德彪西的那种-（法国作曲家，曾作《牧神午后序曲》） – 对了 就是它
Oh! The kind that Debussy– – Yes. Right.
好 所以他就结识了这只小羊怪 并且还认识了别的羊怪
Well, so he got to know the faun, and he got to know other fauns…
之后就是一系列的对话
and a series of conversations began…
之后越来越多的羊怪 在每天下午来找他
and more and more fauns would come out every afternoon to meet him.
而后他和它们交谈
And he’d have talks with the fauns.
后来有一天 不久后 在它们和他完全混熟了以后
Then one day, after a while, when, you know, they’d really gotten to know him…
它们问他 愿不愿意去见见潘神（古希腊农牧神 森林神）
they asked him if he would like to meet Pan…
因为潘神想认识他
because Pan would like to meet him.
当然了 潘神担心这会吓着他
And of course, Pan was afraid of terrifying him…
因为潘清楚 在基♥督♥徒的误解中
because he knew of the Christian misconception…
潘神被描绘为邪恶的生灵 虽然他并非这样
which portrayed Pan as an evil creature, which he’s not.
但洛克说他非常愿意去 所以他们见面了
But Roc said he would love to meet Pan, and so they met…
并且 潘神非常巧妙地 促使洛克踏上了一段旅程
and Pan indirectly sent him on his way on a journey…
在那儿他得以遇见 一些志同道合的人 才组建了芬德霍恩
in which he met the other people who began Findhorn.
洛克曾实践过 某些训练-
But Roc used to practice certain exercises —
比如 呃 比方说 如果他是个惯用右手的人
like, uh, for instance, if he were right-handed…
那么他会试着整天 都只用左手做事
all today he would do everything with his left hand.
一整天-吃饭 写字 所有的事-开门
All day– eating, writing, everything — opening doors…
就为了打破生活的定式
in order to break the habits of living.
因为他感到对他而言 最大的危险
Because the great danger, he felt, for him…
就是出于习惯 落入恍惚中
was to fall into a trance, out of habit.
他发明了一整套 非常简便的训练方式
He had a whole series of very simple exercises that he had invented…
就为了让自己保持 观察 感受 记忆的能力
just to keep seeing, feeling, remembering.
因为如今 你真的需要去学习
Because you have to learn now.
在过去这并非必要的 但如今你必须学习一些
It didn’t used to be necessary, but today you have to learn something…
比如 呃 你是真的感到饥饿
like, uh, are you really hungry…
还是仅仅在往嘴里塞东西- [笑声]
or are you just stuffing your face — [Laughing]
因为那是某种处于习惯的行为
Because that’s what you do, out of habit?
我是说 你能这样做 所以你做了
I mean, you can afford to do it, so you do it…
无论自己是不是真的饿了
whether you’re hungry or not.
你知道吗 如果你跑去 佛徒修行中心的话
You know, if you go to the Buddhist Meditation Center…
他们会让你品尝 你吃的每一口食物
they make you taste each bite of your food…
所以要花上两个小时- 那太可怕了-吃一顿午饭
so it takes two hours — it’s horrible — to eat your lunch.
但是你对自己食物的味道 是有意识的
But you’re conscious of the taste of your food.
如果你仅仅出于习惯进食 就根本食不知味
If you’re just eating out of habit, then you don’t taste the food…
所以你对于什么是真实 对于自己所做的事 毫不自觉
and you’re not conscious of the reality of what’s happening to you.
你又掉进了白日梦里
You enter the dream world again.
你是否觉得 我们之所以在白日梦里生活
Now, do you think maybe we live in this dream world…
是因为我们每天都做一些 影响我们的小事情
because we do so many things every day that affect us in ways…