人生七部曲（1983）

那么了不起
Fantastic.
– Amen, Reverend. – Amen.
阿门
有两个学生被发现
Now two boys have been found rubbing linseed oil
在学校的水老鸦身上抹亚麻子油
into the school cormorant.
也许你们认为
Now some of you may feel that
水老鸦对学校并不重要
the cormorant does not play an important part in the life of the school
让我提醒你们
but I would remind you
那是赛得城的企业家们送给我们的礼物
that it was presented to us by the corporation of the town of Sudbury,
为了纪念帝国时代的盛况
to commemorate Empire Day, when we try to remember
让我们记得赛得区的英雄们
the names of all those from the Sudbury area,
为了使中国英国化所做的牺牲
who so gallantly gave their lives
to keep China British.
从现在开始，不准碰水老鸦
So from now on, the cormorant is strictly out of bounds!
还有，杰金
Oh, and, Jenkins,
显然的你母亲今早过逝了
apparently, your mother died this morning.
牧师
Chaplain.
喔，主呀，请不要烧我
O Lord, please don’t burn us
请不要烤你的子民
Don’t grill or toast Your flock
不要把我们放在烤肉架上
Don’t put us on the barbecue
或慢炖我们
Or simmer us in stock
不要炸、烤或煮我们
Don’t braise or bake or boil us
或在锅里炒我们
Or stir-fry us in a wok
喔，不要用沸水煮我们
Oh, please don’t lightly poach us
或在我们身上涂抹脂肪
Or baste us with hot fat
不要炖或红烧我们
Don’t fricassee or roast us
或在大桶里煮我们
Or boil us in a vat
还有，主呀！不要把你的仆人插在小树枝上
And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord In a Rotissomat
他来了
He’s coming!
好，安静下来，安静下来
All right, settle down, settle down.
在我开始上课以前
Now, before I begin the lesson,
那些下午要参加比赛的人
will those of you who are playing in the match this afternoon
在午餐后，把衣服移到下面的晾衣竿上
move your clothes down onto the lower peg immediately after lunch,
在写信回家前
before you write your letter home,
如果你还没剪头发
if you’re not getting your hair cut,
除非你的弟弟在周末要被另一个男孩所邀请
unless you’ve got a younger brother, who’s going out this weekend as the guest of another boy,
如此则在午餐前收集他的字条
in which case, collect his note before lunch,
并在剪发后把它附在你的信里
put it in your letter after you have had your haircut,
还有让他把你的衣服移到下面的晾衣竿上
and make sure he moves your clothes down onto the lower peg for you.
-现在… -先生？
– Now… – Sir?
威默？
Yes, Wymer?
我弟弟这个周末要和帝柏出去
My younger brother’s going out with Dibble this weekend, sir.
但是我今天没有理头发 要不要把衣服移到…
But I’m not having my hair cut today, so do I move my clothes…
威默，我希望你能认真听 实在很简单
I do wish you’d listen, Wymer. It’s perfectly simple.
如果没有理发
If you’re not getting your hair cut,
就别动你弟弟的衣服
you don’t have to move your brother’s clothes down to the lower peg.
在午餐前收集他的字条
You simply collect his note before lunch,
等你准备好圣经
after you’ve done your scripture prep,
并在写信回家之前
when you’ve written your letter home before rest,
把你自己的衣服移到晾衣竿上
move your own clothes onto the lower peg,
向游客致敬
greet the visitors
然后向温尼先生报告并请他签字
and report to Mr. Viney that you’ve had your chit signed.
好，现在谈性
Now, sex.
性，性，性，我们谈到哪里？
Sex, sex, sex. Where were we?
我有没有谈到
Well, had I got as far as
阳♥具♥进入阴♥部♥那一段
the penis entering the vagina?
没有，先生
– No, sir. – No, sir. No, sir.
那我有没有讲过爱抚
Well, had I done foreplay?
先生，有
Yes, sir.
既然我们都知道爱抚
Ah. Well, as we all know all about foreplay,
你们一定能告诉我爱抚的目的
no doubt you can tell me what the purpose of foreplay is.
阿毕
Biggs.
对不起，先生，我不知道
Don’t know. Sorry, sir.
卡特？
Carter?
是不是把衣服脱掉？
Oh, was it taking your clothes off, sir?
然后呢？
Well, and after that?
把它们放在下面晾衣竿上
Oh, putting them on a lower peg, sir.
爱抚的目的是使阴♥道♥湿润
The purpose of foreplay is to cause the vagina to lubricate,
阳♥具♥才容易进入
so that the penis can penetrate more easily.
先生，能不能打开窗户
Could we have a window open, please, sir?
好的，哈瑞，你去开
Yes. Harris, will you?
同样也能使阳♥具♥竖起
And, of course, to cause the man’s penis to erect
并且变硬
and harden.
上星期我有没有讲到阴♥道♥液体？
Now, did I do vaginal juices last week?
阿华，注意！
Oh, do pay attention, Wadsworth!
你在看足球吗？
I know it’s Friday. Watching the football, are you? Boy, move over there.
我警告你们
I’m warning you.
这学期我可能会考这章
I may decide to set an exam this term.
先生！
Oh, sir! Sir!
那就好好听我说
So just listen.
我到底有没有…
Now did I or did I not
讲到阴♥道♥液体？
do vaginal juices?
有，先生
Yes, sir.
华生，举两个例子
Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.
揉搓阴♥核♥
Rubbing the clitoris, sir?
亲吻呢？嗯？
What’s wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm?
为什么不能以亲吻做为开始？
Why not start her off with a nice kiss?
你不需要像公牛等在闸门一样马上就揉阴♥核♥
You don’t have to go leaping
straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate.
先吻她，孩子
Give her a kiss, boy.
吸吮她的奶头
Suck the nipple, sir?
威默，很好，答的好
Good, good. Well done, Wymer.
抚摸大腿？
Stroking the thighs, sir?
是的，是的，不错
Yes, yes. I suppose so.
Biting the neck.
咬脖子
很好，轻咬耳垂
Yes, good. Nibbling the earlobe,
揉屁♥股♥等等
kneading the buttocks and so on and so forth.
所以在揉阴♥核♥之前我们有这么多事可做 华生
So we have all these possibilities,
before we stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.
是的，先生，抱歉，先生
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
这些刺♥激♥都会使液体发生
Now, all these forms of stimulation
can now take place.
当然用舌头的话
And, of course, tonguing will give you the best idea
你们可以更清楚的知道液体如何而来
of how the juices are coming along.
海伦？
Helen?
现在，交♥媾♥也称之为性♥交♥
Now, penetration and coitus,
最高境界是高♥潮♥
that is to say intercourse up to and including orgasm.
亲爱的，你好
Ah, hello, dear.
当我太太进入时请起立，卡特
Do stand up when my wife enters the room, Carter.
喔，对不起，先生，对不起
Oh, sorry, sir. Sorry.
阿恒，希望你不介意
Humphrey, I hope you don’t mind.
我和嘉非说好今晚一同吃饭
I told the Garfields we would dine with them tonight.
好吧，我想我们必须得去了
Yes, yes, well, I suppose we must.
我答应他们八点会到
I said we’d be there by ?00.
这又给我参加职员会议的托辞了
At least it’ll give me a reason to wind up the staff meeting.
我知道你不喜欢他们 但是我实在找不出任何藉口
I know you don’t like them, but I couldn’t make another excuse.
只是我觉得…
It’s just that I felt…
威默 这对你有益
Wymer, this is for your benefit.
别打瞌睡
Would you kindly wake up?
我不想再做一次
I’ve no intention of going through this all again.
我们先爱抚像书上所写的 亲爱的，你不介意吧！
We’ll take the foreplay as read, if you don’t mind, dear.
当然不会
No, of course not, Humphrey.
然后男人以正常的方式
So, the man starts by entering or mounting his good lady wife,
进入女人体内
in the standard way.
你们看，阳♥具♥多少已经竖起
The penis is now, as you will observe, more or less fully erect.
对了，这样好多了
There we are, that’s better.
现在，卡特
Now, Carter.
什么事，先生
Yes, sir?
那是什么？
What is it?
是笛子
It’s an ocarina, sir.
把它拿过来
Bring it up here.
男人用骨盘做推入的动作
The man now starts making thrusting movements with his pelvic area,
在阴♥道♥内上下移♥动♥阳♥具♥
moving the penis up and down inside the vagina.