蒙蒂·派松和圣杯（1975）

勇敢的罗宾爵士转头…
Yes, Brave Sir Robin turned about And gallantly he chickened out
勇敢的临阵退缩
Bravely taking to his feet He beat a very brave retreat
勇敢的欺骗他的双脚
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin
我从没这样过!
I never!
耶稣仁慈的主
Pie Jesu Domine
愿他们安息吧
Dona eis requiem
“加拉哈德爵士的故事”
开门!
Open the door.
以亚瑟王的名义 开门吧!
In the name of King Arthur, open the door!
你好
Hello!
高贵的爵士 欢迎你来到炭疽城♥堡♥
Welcome, gentle Sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
炭疽城♥堡♥?
-The Castle Anthrax? -Yes.
是的 名字不太好听 不是吗?
It’s not a very good name, is it?
但我们是好人 我们会满足你任何任何的要求!
But we are nice, and we will attend to your every, every need!
你们是圣杯的守护者?
You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?
-是什么? -圣杯 不在这儿吗?
-The what? -The Grail. It is here?
哦 你累了 你必须休息一会儿
But you are tired, and you must rest awhile.
米至特! 克日泊!
Midget! Crapper!
-是的 祖特吗? -为我们的客人准备一张床
-Yes, O Zoot? -Prepare a bed for our guest.
-谢谢你 -谢谢你
-Thank you, Zoot. -Thank you.
去吧 去吧 仆人
Away, away, varletesses!
我们这儿的床暖和 柔软而且很宽大
The beds here are warm and soft, and very, very big.
-这 我… -英俊的骑士 你叫什么名字?
-Look, I… -What is your name, handsome knight?
圣洁之士加拉哈德爵士
Sir Galahad the Chaste.
我叫祖特 就是祖特
Mine is Zoot. Just Zoot.
过来 -不 不要! 以上帝的名义
-But come. -Please, in God’s name,
给我看看圣杯吧
show me the Grail.
你吃苦了 你在说胡话
You have suffered much. You are delirious.
-我看到了 就在这儿 -加拉哈德武士
-Look, I have seen it. It is here. -Sir Galahad!
你不能这样笨拙的拒绝我们的盛情
You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality.
我们的生活与你相比是这么的沉闷和悠闲
I’m afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet, compared to yours.
我们十六岁到十九岁半之间
We’re eight score blondes and brunettes,
一百六十名各种肤色的年轻姑娘
all between 16 and 19 and a half,
被隔绝在这个没有人保护的城♥堡♥里
cut off in this castle, with no one to protect us.
这是寂寞的生活
It is a lonely life.
洗澡 穿衣服 脱衣服 制♥作♥情趣内衣
Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear.
我们只是不习惯见到英俊的骑士
We are just not used to handsome knights.
内 过来 过来 你睡在这儿
Nay. Come. You may lie here.
-哦 你受伤了! -不 这没什么
-But you are wounded! -No, it’s nothing!
你必须立即看医生 请你躺下
You must see the doctors immediately. Please, lie down.
-有什么毛病? -她们是医生?
-Well, what seems to be the trouble? -They’re doctors?
是的 她们受过基本医学训练的
They have a basic medical training.
快 快 你必须要休息
Come, come, you must try to rest.
皮戈里特医生 温斯顿医生 开始工作吧
Dr. Piglet! Dr. Winston! Practice your art.
-试着放松 -你们认为这有必要吗?
-Try to relax. -Are you sure that’s absolutely necessary?
我们必须给你做检查
We must examine you.
-那儿没有毛病 -让我们查吧 我们是医生
-There’s nothing wrong with that. -Please. We are doctors.
不! 不能这样
Look, this cannot be.
-我要保持圣洁 -立刻回到床上
-I am sworn to chastity! -Back to your bed!
别再折磨我了 我看到这里有圣杯
Torment me no longer. I have seen the Grail.
-这儿没有圣杯 -我看到了!
-There’s no Grail here. -I have seen it.
-我看到了… -你好
-I have seen… -Hello.
你好
Hello.
-祖特 -我是祖特的孪生姐妹丁格
-Zoot! -I am Zoot’s identical twin sister, Dingo.
-你要干什么? -我要找圣杯
-Where are you going? -I seek the Grail.
我看到它在这座城♥堡♥里!
I have seen it here in this castle!
不! 哦 不! 讨厌的祖特!
Oh, no. Bad, bad Zoot!
-怎么了? -淘气 讨厌 没规矩的祖特!
-What is it? -Wicked, bad, naughty Zoot!
她点燃了灯塔 我想起来那灯塔是圣杯的形状
She has been setting light to our beacon, which is Grail-shaped.
这不是第一次了
It’s not the first time we’ve had this problem.
那不是真正的圣杯?
It’s not the real Grail?
淘气 讨厌 没规矩的祖特!
Wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot.
她太没规矩了 必须受到处罚
She is a bad person, and must pay the penalty.
你们认为这个场景该被删掉么?
Do you think this scene should have been cut?
我们担心孩子们会看到
We were so worried when the boys were writing it.
但是现在 我们是很开心的
But now we’re glad. It’s better than
我认为起码比前面的一些场景强
some previous scenes, I think.
起码我们的真实些
Ours was better visually.
起码我们的不仅仅是一些无聊的笑话
Ours was committed. It wasn’t a string of pussy jokes.
-继续下去 -对 继续下去!
-Get on with it. -Yes. Get on with it!
继续下去!
Get on with it!
-哦 我爱死这个场景了 -继续下去!
-I am enjoying this scene. -Get on with it!
淘气 讨厌 没规矩的祖特!
Wicked, wicked Zoot!
她必须受到处罚
She must pay the penalty.
在炭疽城♥堡♥ 点燃圣杯形灯塔的人要受到一种惩罚
In Castle Anthrax, we have one punishment for setting alight the Grail-shaped beacon.
你必须把她绑到床上进行性♥虐♥待
You must tie her down on a bed, and spank her.
性♥虐♥待她!
A spanking! A spanking!
好好地性♥虐♥待她 性♥虐♥待以后 她随你处置
You must spank her, and after you’ve spanked her, deal with her as you like.
-然后性♥虐♥待我 -还有我
-And, then, spank me. -And me!
-还有我 -还有我
-And me. -And me.
是的 对我们都进行性♥虐♥待
Yes. You must give us all a good spanking!
性♥虐♥待
A spanking!
-性♥虐♥待以后 还要口♥交♥ -口♥交♥!
-And, after the spanking, the oral sex. -The oral sex!
好的 我可以在这儿多待一段时间
Well, I could stay a bit longer.
-加拉哈德爵士! -你好
-Sir Galahad! -Hello.
快点! 快点! 你身处险境!
-Quick! You are in great peril. -Why?
-不 他不危险! -狐狸精 别吵!
-No, he isn’t! -Silence, foul temptress!
-她说得很对 -我们来掩护你逃走
-She’s got a point. -We’ll cover your escape!
-我很好! -等等 加拉哈德
-Look, I’m fine! -Wait, Sir Galahad!
-我能自己应付她们 -让他自己应付我们
-I can tackle this lot single-handed! -Yes, let him tackle us single-handed!
不 加拉哈德爵士 走
No, Sir Galahad. Come!
我可以轻易的应付她们
Honestly, I can handle this lot easily!
-让他轻易的应付我们 -走 快点!
-Yes, let him handle us easily. -Go! Quick!
等一下 我能搞定她们 她们只有一百五十个
Wait! Please! I can defeat them! There’s only 150 of them!
是的! 他能轻易的打败我们! 我们根本就没有机会赢
He’ll beat us easily. We haven’t a chance.
哦 见鬼!
Oh, shit!
-你身处险境 -我认为没有
-You were in great peril. -I don’t think I was.
你很危险
You were in terrible peril.
-明知山有虎 我偏向虎山行 -这太危险了
-Let me go back, and face the peril. -No, it’s too perilous.
我的任务就是尝试危险
It’s my duty to sample as much peril as I can.
我们去找圣杯
We’ve got to find the Holy Grail.
-我们去面对危险吧 -不 这样对身体不好
-Let me have just a bit of peril? -No. It’s unhealthy.
-我打赌你是个同性恋 -我不是
-I bet you’re gay. -No, I’m not.
兰斯洛特爵士救下了 差一点就被诱惑的加拉哈德爵士
Sir Lancelot had saved Sir Galahad from almost certain temptation.
但他们离圣杯还是很远
But, they were still no nearer the Grail.
同时亚瑟王和彼德维热爵士 除了燕子的迁徙
King Arthur and Sir Bedevere, not more than a swallow’s flight away,
什么都没发现
had discovered something.
那显然是一只轻装燕子的迁徙
That’s an unladen swallow’s flight, obviously.
那比两个满载燕子的迁徙还要远
They were more than two laden swallow’s flights away.
如果它们中间有一只椰子
Four, with a coconut on a line between them.
我的意思说如果这些鸟…
If the birds were…
别打岔!
Get on with it!
不管怎么样
Oh, anyway,
在二十四场景中 一个突发场景的有趣表演中
on to Scene 24, which is a smashing scene, with some lovely acting,
亚瑟发现了一个重要的线索
in which Arthur discovers a vital clue.
尽管我认为那儿没有燕子…
There aren’t any swallows, but I think you can hear a…
你说的那个巫师他见过圣杯?
And this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the Grail?
他住在哪儿?
Where does he live?
老家伙 他住在哪儿?
Old man, where does he live?
他知道一个山洞 一个谁也没有进去过的山洞
He knows of a cave. A cave which no man has entered.
-圣杯在那个山洞里? -山洞旁边非常危险
-And the Grail. The Grail is there? -There is much danger.
有一个没有人能通过的
For beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril,
无尽危险之谷
which no man has ever crossed.
但是圣杯! 圣杯在哪儿?
But the Grail. Where is the Grail?
找到死亡之桥!
Seek you the Bridge of Death.
死亡之桥通向圣杯?
The Bridge of Death? Which leads to the Grail?
-你们是谁? -我们是说”涅”的骑士
-Who are you? -We are the knights who say “Ni”!
-不 不要是说”涅”的骑士 -一样的
-No! Not the knights who say “Ni”? -The same!
-他们是谁? -我们是神喻的守护者:
-Who are they? -We are the keepers of the sacred words.
“涅” “澎”和”尼沃姆”!
“Ni,” “Peng,” and “Neee Wom”!
遇见他们的人很难生还